words.
Though her head was down, she could still see his feet just inside the door. He reached down to pick up the black bag.
“You probably guessed what this was and you’re partially right. The submissive you saw me talking with weeks ago before I exited the club, Rachel? Her fiancé told me about this local lady who makes all her toys by hand, and after he showed me the work she’d done for him, I called her. I can’t tell you how much fun I had picking out new toys to use on you.”
She knew he already had toys in his possession. Old ones. Ones he’d used on Winnie. She hadn’t considered how it would feel if he used those on her, but now that she did, she realized how thankful she was that he’d wanted to purchase new toys. Further proof he was putting the past behind him and facing the future.
He dropped the bag beside her, his body in front of her. “But right now, I’m not going to use toys on you.”
He wasn’t? She frowned.
“While I think you look lovely in that gown, I want you to stand and take it off for me.”
Maybe he was going to play without toys. That would be fine by her. She liked the idea of him only using his hands. And other body parts. She quickly rose to her feet, smiled, and within seconds had the gown off. Lennox took it from her and hung it in a nearby closet.
“I’m going to ask you to do something,” he said, his voice low and calm but filled with authority all the same. “I know it’s going to be extremely difficult for you, but I’m going to ask you to at least try. For me.”
Her mind raced, trying to imagine what he could possibly have in mind. Their hard limits were almost identical.
“Don’t frown,” he said. “At least not before you’ve heard what it is.”
She forced herself to relax her expression.
“Very good.” He walked backward to the bed and sat down. Why was he sitting down? It made no sense. “To begin, I’m going to ask you a few questions. What do you do for a living?”
This was hands down the oddest way to start a BDSM scene that she had ever heard of. If he hadn’t been acting as a consultant for the last few weeks, she’d have thought maybe he’d been out of the lifestyle too long.
“I’m a dance instructor, Sir,” she answered, deciding to go along with it. She trusted him. But why had he said this would be difficult?
“You told me once that you didn’t have any trouble dancing for work. Is this still the case?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“When was the last time you danced outside of work?”
She could be bratty and say of course she had danced outside of work, after all, she’d done it when she danced with him. But that wasn’t the type of dancing he was talking about and she’d been the one to tell him that, if nothing else, they should have honesty between them.
Her belly began to ache as she slowly started to understand where this conversation was going. God help her.
“It was before the fall students arrived, Sir,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper.
“When was the last time you tried to dance outside of work?”
“The last time I tried was probably sometime in September, Sir.”
“Do you want to dance again? Stop and think before you answer.”
She allowed the question to sink into her soul, down into the depths of who she was. And when it made it there, the answer was clear. She was a dancer. She danced.
“Yes, Sir. Please,” she whispered as if he held the key to her ability to dance.
“Dance for me, Marie,” he spoke in his low and commanding Dom voice. “Don’t think. Close your eyes and let your body move.”
Tears filled her eyes, because he thought it was just that easy. Close her eyes and move. Like she hadn’t done that a thousand times. Now it would be one thousand and one. Worse still, she would disappoint him and she hated that because they hadn’t even done anything yet.
But she wanted to do everything she could to please him, so she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She heard him move from the bed and seconds later, the familiar sound of Mozart filled the air.
Her breathing was choppy because she knew she was going to fail. The tears she’d tried to hold back ran down her cheeks anyway and she sniffled. She sensed more than felt him move behind her.
“What’s my job as a Dominant?” he asked, the heat from his breath on the nape of her neck sending shivers down her spine. “Tell me.”
“To ensure my needs are met, Sir.”
“Do you need to dance?”
“Yes.”
“Why can’t you?”
The answer came to her so quickly, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t realized it before. “I’ve lost my song, Sir.”
The pain of that admission pierced her heart and she inhaled deeply, as if forcing air into her lungs would lessen the realization. More tears swelled behind her eyes, because she somehow knew he’d understand.
He oh-so-tenderly ran his hands down her arms and entwined their fingers. “Let me help you find it.”
He stretched their arms out and then wrapped them around her. She felt his strength pour into her and for the first time in too many months, her feet moved in a pattern of ballet steps she’d known forever and so well, she could recite them in her sleep. But it’d been months since her body had answered the call of dance, until today.
Lennox kept her hands firmly clutched in his, even as he let her feet move. Little by little, her confidence grew and she twirled in his arms. Even then, he only let go of her for a second before she was safe and protected, back in his embrace.
He continued to hold her while her feet grew accustomed to the once-familiar feeling of her beloved ballet. How he kept up with her, she wasn’t sure, but he was always there, ready to hold her or her hands, and to whisper that she was strong and beautiful.
“Keep your eyes closed,” he commanded after some time. “And dance for me.”
She felt a brief moment of panic as he let go of her and stepped away, but she focused on keeping her feet moving. They knew what to do, she didn’t even have to think about it. The slight soreness in her right ankle barely registered with her.
Eyes closed, and no longer holding onto Lennox, she allowed the music to infuse her body. It was almost like being in subspace, she realized. She could shut her mind down, and instead of giving control to a Dom, she yielded to the power of the music. Yet even so, she knew that in reality she was yielding to Lennox, because he held power over the music.
The most overwhelming sense of freedom swept over her and she felt as light as a feather. As she danced, the burdens of the last few months slipped away, soon followed by the weight of the last few years. She was free. Finally free. Before she knew it, she was laughing as she danced.
The song continued, coming to its inevitable end. The last few notes played out, drifting through the air. By the time silence filled the room once more, she was kneeling on the floor, breathing heavily.
She’d done it! She’d danced!
The tears that came this time were tears of joy. She hadn’t realized how empty she’d been without dance in her life. Now that she had it back, she was overwhelmed by peace and happiness. It was as if the joy inside her was too much to contain and it had to spill out some way.
Lennox was behind her almost immediately, pulling her into his embrace. She sighed as his arms came around her. Being in his arms, sated and exhausted by the emotional intensity of what she’d done, this was heaven. And she didn’t ever want to leave.
She nestled deeper into his arms. “I love you.”
The words were out before she could even think about them. They came so easily this time. He tightened his arms around her.
“I’ll never get tired of hearing those words.” He kissed her cheek and helped her to stand. “Come to bed.”
“Bed?” She didn’t understand. What about the toy bag? What about his plans?
He gently turned her so she faced him. His eyes were wet, too. “I do
n’t think there’s anything we can do tonight that will mean more or touch me the way watching you find your song and love of dance again did.” He gave her a tentative smile. “I need time to process it and recuperate.”
She yawned and he chuckled. “You may have a point,” she admitted sheepishly.
He climbed into bed first and held the sheet up so she could join him. His arms were warm and though she’d slept in them once before, tonight they felt like a safe haven in a new way.
“Promise me,” she said and then yawned.
“Anything.”
“That tomorrow you’ll open your toy bag.”
His laughter warmed her even more and she didn’t think he was going to answer, but right before sleep claimed her, she heard him murmur, “I promise.”
WINNIE’S JOURNAL
I had the strangest dream last night.
I dreamed of a dark and deep forest where there was no night, only day. It was by the sea, but I couldn’t cross the ocean. (I don’t know why and I didn’t try to cross. It was just something I knew and accepted.) It was peaceful and I was happy. Looking back now, that’s funny because I’m so not the camping type.
Anyway, I was walking through the forest and in the distance, I saw Lennox and Marie. They were far away, but I knew it was them and I knew they couldn’t see or hear me. It was sort of like they were on TV, except they didn’t know they were being filmed.
They were a bit older in my dream. Odd, because I hadn’t aged. And it’s not like they were old old. I mean, they didn’t have gray hair. Well maybe now that I think about it, Lennox might have had a few strands around his temple, but honestly? It just made him hotter.
So they were walking by the sea and somehow I knew they could cross it and yet, even knowing that, I wasn’t jealous. I was content in the forest. Again, funny as hell, right? Because, me? In the forest? Dreams are strange. But that wasn’t even the strangest part. What happened next was.
Lennox and Marie were holding hands while they walked and, again, I wasn’t jealous. I actually felt happy. I could tell they were talking, but I couldn’t hear them. Lennox must have said something funny, because Marie laughed. One of those belly-deep laughs that I haven’t heard from her in ages. They stopped and Lennox smiled and touched her cheek. She turned her head and kissed his palm, bringing her hand up to hold his.
That’s when I noticed it.
Marie had a tattoo on her wrist. Totally out of place on her. Marie has never expressed any desire to get a tattoo and Marie with a tattoo makes about as much sense as me finding contentment in a forest. But there’s more.
Lennox knelt down on one knee and held something out to her. The sun bounced off of it and I could tell it was an engagement ring. Marie started to cry, but she nodded her head. Lennox stood up and put the ring on her finger and they kissed. One of those kisses. You know the type. The go-get-a-room type.
The whole time I was smiling and cheering for them and I realized I was crying, but they were tears of happiness.
Then I woke up and I felt sad because part of me wanted to be in the forest.
CHAPTER
Thirteen
That’s the last entry,” Lennox said as he closed the journal.
They were eating breakfast in his room the next morning. He’d read Winnie’s journal a little at a time while he’d been away from the academy and he’d wanted to share the last thing Winnie wrote with Marie, since it was both odd and mentioned her.
She’d been silent while he read the entry out loud, and he hadn’t thought anything about it, but looking at her now, he realized she’d gone completely pale.
“Marie?” he asked.
She blinked. “It really says that about a tattoo?”
He’d had no idea reading the entry would get such a shocked reaction from her. Not the tattoo bit anyway.
“Winnie had a dream about me proposing and you’re hung up on a nonexistent tattoo?” He cocked his head to the side. “What am I missing here?”
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
“Marie? Are you okay?”
She nodded.
“Take a deep breath and tell me what has you upset.”
“I’m not upset so much as I’m shocked.” She took a deep breath. “The tattoo thing. I’ve never told anyone that. Not even Winnie.”
He waited while she took a sip of coffee.
“I feel as though I need something stronger than coffee.” She was trying to tease, but it didn’t carry over to her expression or tone of voice.
“Maybe later,” he said.
She closed her eyes. “I’ve always had this idea, this thought, that if I found a Dom and he offered me his collar and I wanted it, that I wouldn’t wear a literal collar. Too cumbersome while dancing.” She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Instead, I’d ask for him to pick out a tattoo to go around my wrist.”
It was as if something sucked all the air right out of the room with her words. His chest grew tight even as a shiver ran down his spine because something in the back of his mind whispered, Yes.
“There’s more,” she said.
There couldn’t be, he wanted to say, but she spoke with a conviction that left no room for doubt. He didn’t say anything; rather he nodded for her to go on.
He sat in amazement as she told him of the dream she’d had while in the hospital. At least she’d thought it was a dream. Now, after hearing Winnie’s final journal entry, she wasn’t sure. Neither was he.
She finished and they both sat in a stunned silence for several long minutes.
“Wow,” Lennox finally said.
“Exactly.”
“I wonder.” He thought about it some more and changed his mind. “Nah, forget it.”
“You were wondering why she’s never come to you.” She didn’t ask it as a question, she stated it like the fact it was.
“Actually, yes.” He wasn’t surprised Marie knew him so well, and in a way, it was a bit comforting.
“She only appeared to me and Andie when we were in the hospital, and she had that dream days before she died.” Marie tilted her head. “So unless you’re seriously injured or near death, I don’t think she would.”
“In that case, I don’t want to see her.” He remembered his visit to her grave. “I’ve already said my final good-byes anyway.”
Silence fell back over the room and Lennox felt the air between them shift into something that bordered on melancholy. He only had himself to blame; he was the one who brought up the journal. Now it was up to him to change the dynamic of the room back.
He pushed away from the table. “Since I’ve said my final good-byes, I’m going to focus my time and energy on the future.” He held out his hand. “I would like for you to join me.”
The smile that instantly came over her face told him he’d done the right thing. And any lingering traces of gloom fell away when she asked, “Might the future involve your toy bag?”
“Definitely,” he said. “In fact, if you’d like to experience it, go kneel beside the bed. Naked.”
He’d been slightly unsure that she’d want to do anything physical after reading the journal entry together, but the way she hopped out of her chair and tore her clothes off as she scampered to the side of the bed alleviated that worry.
Moving slower, but with no less enthusiasm, he headed toward his future.
• • •
MARIELA SMILED AT the floor at the sound of him unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants.
“Before we do anything else, I want that sweet mouth on my dick. Since that last night in the cottage, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve jerked off to that memory.”
She raised her head and licked her lips. He chuckled at her