Oops.
Thia actually laughed. “I know, Preppy. Bear told me that he and her and you...I mean, it’s okay, I know. I’ve told Dre I know too, so there’s nothing weird between us. I really like her by the way.”
“You’re one cool chick, Ti,” I said. I patted my jacket where Grace’s note was tucked safely inside. “And besides, it’s not like the thing with Bear was a big deal anyway, it was only anal.”
“I have to go help Ray,” Thia said, still laughing and shaking her head. “I’ll leave you two alone to murder one another. After all, we’re in the perfect place for it.” She dashed off to meet Ray where she was waiting for Dre to arrive.
“You’re right, Prep. It was only anal,” Bear said and I wondered where he was going with this teasing tone in his voice. “Because when I look back and I picture it all in my mind, I mean I didn’t remember much at first, but now I can see every little...”
“Bear,” I cut him off. “If you so much as think of that night in your pretty little head, I’ll murder you in your sleep,” I warned.
Bear smiled and pulled me in for a hug, he slapped my back. “I would expect nothing less, Prep.”
“She’s here!” Ray shouted.
“But seriously,” Bear started as we went back and joined King. “Who is your best man? Kevin?”
Just then Bo came running through the cemetery wearing a matching light grey suit and light blue bow tie. He even had on a pair of brown suspenders and he was sporting a fresh hair cut. When he spotted me he changed direction, running straight to me until he leapt up and I caught him.
I turned back to my friends with my son in my arms. “He is.”
****
When the music started and the sound of “LIFER” by Florida Georgia Line started to play I stood on one side of the empty grave marked with my headstone and waited for Dre to appear. I knew she was about to walk around the wall, but nothing could have prepared me for the moment I saw her.
NOTHING.
She wasn’t just beautiful or stunning. She was walking art.
I coughed because suddenly I couldn’t fucking breathe.
Dre’s lips were usually painted bright red but as she walked down the aisle of gravestones I noticed they were a darker blood red and matched the rose in her hair, which was pinned low and loose to the side of her head at the nape of her neck.
Her ivory dress was strapless and heart shaped over the perfect swell of her tits. Short in the front, just above her knees, flaring out to a long gown in the back that dragged along the ground as she walked. There was lace at the top to give the illusion of sleeves but it was so light and delicate it looked as if it were floating on top of her creamy skin. She carried a bouquet of wildflowers and I chuckled when I saw the stems were tied together with one of my red bowties.
She smiled when our eyes locked and suddenly she wasn’t wearing her wedding dress. She was naked, skinny, and bruised like she was on top of the tower the day we met. Her stringy hair blowing around her face. Then it was her wearing Mirna’s pin-up style clothes for the first time. Then it was her on the night I proposed, tight black skirt and blue corset top. By the time she stood before me and linked her hands with mine she was wearing her gown again and I was stuck somewhere between so much love it hurts and so aroused it hurts.
“Fuckin’ eh, Doc,” I groaned, apparently out loud because the crowd around us laughed.
The reverend starting saying some words but I didn’t hear a single fucking one because I was firmly focused on Dre. The only thing I heard was my inner caveman chant. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.
Mine.
Dre
Preppy wore a light grey suit with a light blue and yellow bow tie. It was perfectly fitted to his muscles and I couldn’t tear my eyes from him as I walked down the aisle. My stomach did flip-flops. I don’t remember walking fast or slow as my father guided me toward my husband. I just remember trying to get to him as fast as possible as he appraised me. A stunned yet appreciative look in his eyes that made me tingle all over.
As I made my way to him I thought I was seeing things. His image flashed from the scary version of him I met on the tower that first day, to the emaciated tortured soul with long hair and fresh scars. When I reached him he turned back into my husband in the tux, ready to make promises of forever. “Hey, Doc, what took you so long?”
“Don’t you mean what took US so long?” I asked.
When it came time to say our vows, Preppy surprised me by volunteering to go first.
“I was a boy when we met, someone who avoided and ran from everything in his life he didn’t want to deal with. In some ways I’m never going to grow up, but you made me want to be more. For you. For Bo. Now I’m a man who knows it’s time to stop running away and start running toward and I’m choosing to run to you, Doc. Forever.”
There were several sniffles in the crowd but I couldn’t look to see who was getting emotional because I couldn’t look away from Preppy. He rubbed his thumb over my hand and continued.
“I know this is where I’m supposed to make you promises and I’ll get to that part, but first I want to thank you for being here, for putting on that dress and walking down that aisle. For saying yes. To me. To Bo. To us as a family.” He took a deep breath. “I hate those vows where they make promises that sound ridiculous so I’m gonna tell you how I know things will go down and the truth is that I’m probably gonna fuck up. A lot. I won’t do it on purpose and I’ll never do anything to intentionally hurt you, but I’m flawed and I’m gonna fuck it up from time to time. I’m not a religious man, but I promise to never lose faith in you. Please don’t ever lose faith in me.”
“I won’t,” I mouthed, feeling my chest hurt with happiness.
“I may not be much, but I’m too selfish to let you go find someone who is good enough for you, although I doubt he exists because you’re good. So fucking good. I promise that I’m yours and yours alone. Body and whatever’s left of this tattered soul.” Preppy reached out and took my hands in his. “Remember a long time ago when I said we were the same? I didn’t really know what I meant back then, but I do now. We struggle. We overcome. We’re loyal. We love with everything we have and fight with everything and more. I’ll fight for you and Bo. Every fucking day with everything I have.”
Preppy wiped his eyes and then reached across to catch a tear on the corner of my eye.
“Andrea,” the reverend said.
I mentally tossed around the words I’d prepared, but had no idea how to get them out of my mouth. I took a deep breath and then focused on Preppy and his burning amber eyes. At the last second I mentally threw away my prepared words and decided to wing it, keeping it short and to the point. “I love you, Samuel Clearwater. I’ll love you forever and I’ll show you every single day how you’re not only perfect for me, but good enough for me, and I’ll try my best to be worthy of you. You not only saved my life, but you gave me a life. I am who I am because of you. I’ll love you now and forever. In life and in death, and especially in the in-between.”
Preppy sucked in a breath when he realized I’d used a line from the letter he’d written me. “Not even death do us part,” he whispered.
“Not even death do us part,” I repeated on a choked sob.
“Awe fuck, Doc,” Preppy said reaching around behind me and grabbing the back of my neck. He pulled me close and kissed me deeply. The crowd whistled and hooted us on much to the reverend’s dismay who literally had to put his hands between us to separate us.
“Just a minute, we’ve got to get to the part that makes this thing legit,” Preppy said, pulling back and clearing his throat. I leaned over to wipe my lipstick off the side of Preppy’s mouth. I was floating on another level of happiness when the reverend introduced us as “Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Clearwater.”
We both grabbed Bo’s hand and were about to walk back down the aisle when Kevin put two fingers in his mouth and made a loud whistling noise, silencing the crowd who turned their attention
s on him. “Wait!” he shouted, stepping in front of us, blocking our exit. I squeezed Preppy’s hand tightly and in an instant my happiness turned to panic.
Kevin reached inside his jacket pocket. “This isn’t over yet.”
****
I was about to push Bo into the crowd for safety and lunge myself at Kevin when I realized what he pulled out of his jacket wasn’t a knife or gun, it was a handkerchief. He used it to wipe the beads of sweat from his forehead. “It’s fucking hot out here,” he muttered, tucking the scrap of fabric back into his pocket. He glanced down at Bo, giving him a wink. “Are you ready, kid?”
Bo gave him a thumbs up and the crowd parted to give us more room. Kevin brought Bo back to the front of the crowd. He produced a milk crate for Bo to stand on. “Whenever you’re ready,” Kevin said, taking a step back. Now Preppy and I were part of the onlookers and we both exchanged a confused look.
“What exactly do you have up your sleeve, kiddo?” Preppy asked.
Hold on. Bo signed. Preppy chuckled, keeping my hand tucked under his arm.
Bo looked to Kevin for encouragement. “You got this, buddy,” he said before turning to us. “He wanted to say something on your special day. He’s been practicing nonstop.”
Preppy and I both smiled and Bo took a deep breath. We were both expecting him to start signing his speech, but when he opened his mouth and started to speak, Preppy had to hold me up for support. I didn’t even feel us moving but before I could register putting one step in front of the other, Preppy and I were both standing directly in front of Bo.
“Happy wedding day, Mommy and Daddy. I love you.”
That was his entire speech, but I felt like he’d said so much with so few words. He’d barely finished when he leapt toward us and we’d wrapped him in a hug. “That was fucking amazing,” Preppy said. No one bothered to correct his swearing to Bo because he was right. Amazing by itself wouldn’t have done that moment justice.
It was fucking amazing.
After squeezing Bo until he squirmed uncomfortably, Preppy stood to address the crowd. “I realized that I almost forgot something. The entire reason why we are here. In this cemetery for our wedding.” He pointed down to the headstone. “This isn’t mine anymore.” That’s when I noticed for the first time the brown paper bag covering it. “But there is someone else who I thought should have it.” He glanced over at me. “Someone who should be remembered.” He pulled off the bag and I gasped. My heart stuck in my throat like I swallowed a boulder.
Preppy had the headstone changed out. It no longer read Samuel Clearwater.
I dropped to my knees and ran my fingers over the engraved letters in the smooth granite.
Baby Clearwater
Beloved Daughter & Sister
We’ll see you again,
in the in-between
I don’t know how long I sat there, staring at those beautiful letters honoring the daughter Preppy and I never got to meet, but it must have been a while because by the time I looked up, everyone was gone.
Everyone, except Preppy, who was kneeling next to me. “Where’s Bo?” I asked.
“Ray and King took him with them to their house to get the reception ready.”
“Thank you,” I said, allowing him to pull me up to a standing position. I shook the grass from my dress. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t thank me. She needed a place and I didn’t. Consider it like a sublet type of thing,” Preppy said with a smile. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
I shook my head. “It’s like a happy kind of sad, if that makes any sense.”
“It does,” Preppy said. There was no doubt he understood what I meant, because somehow he always did.
I sniffled. “I do love you, Samuel Clearwater.” I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“I love you, Andrea Clearwater,” he replied, covering my lips with his. When he pulled back, he threaded his fingers through mine, pulling me past the rows of headstones and through the gate that led to the road. Preppy wasn’t the only one with the surprises. I couldn’t wait to give him mine, but it would have to wait. We had a reception to attend.
We walked out of the front gate of the cemetery officially leaving death behind.
I placed my hand over my belly.
With only new life ahead.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Dre
Our reception was a casual outdoor party at King and Ray’s house. When we arrived Preppy went to go talk to his friends while I darted upstairs to change out of my gown and heels into a white sundress and sandals so I’d be more comfortable walking around in the yard. I’d just finished dressing when the door opened and Kevin appeared. His tie loose around his neck. His jacket long gone. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows. “Hey,” I said. “I was just coming down.”
“I just wanted to say thanks,” Kevin said. His hands were in his pockets and his eyes downcast on the floor. “You didn’t know me, but you gave me a home. You gave me...a family. You didn’t have to, but you did and I don’t understand why. I don’t think I would have done the same. You trusted me. Gave me the benefit of the doubt. No one’s ever really done that for me before.”
I put my hand on Kevin’s arm and felt a little guilty for ever thinking he might not have the best of intentions toward me or Preppy. “Having a brother makes Preppy happy. Family makes him happy. I’d never stand in the way of that,” I admitted. “Just do me one favor, it’s kind of a big one.”
“Anything,” Kevin said eagerly.
“Don’t let him down. He’s had enough of that.”
Kevin covered my hand with his, determination in his eyes. “I’d never let him down. EVER. You’ll see.”
“Good, now go downstairs. I’m just going to take the pins out of my hair, they’re digging into my scalp,” I said, pulling one free from the curls at the nape of my neck.
Kevin left and I made quick work of the pins. A shadow crossed the doorway. “Did you forget something, Kevin?” I asked, pulling the last pin out and running my fingers through my hair to ease my aching scalp. I spun around, caught completely off guard when I found myself staring down the barrel of a gun.
Preppy
I couldn’t find Dre. Thinking she might need help with a zipper or something I ascended the stairs two at a time but when I threw open the door of Max’s room I didn’t find her there. What I did find was her makeup case scattered around the floor, the dresser turned over on its side, and blood splattered across her white wedding gown which was crumpled in the center of the room.
“Dude, what the fuck is taking you guys so long? You got all night to fuck. I’ve got a toast all prepared and I’m gonna bring up some shit you haven’t even thought of since we were little punks running the streets...” Bear’s voice trailed off as he surveyed the room. “Fuck, I’ll go get King.” He took off down the stairs.
I ran behind him to search the place for Dre, but in my gut I knew she was already gone.
An eerie sense of controlled calm washed over me. There was no time to be angry. No time to be worried.
There was only time for revenge.
The rest I’d worry about when my wife was home safe, and the blood of whoever took her was dripping down my hands.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Dre
We all have pasts.
Some good. Some bad.
For the longest time, my problem had been trying to keep the past behind me where it belonged. But when your past was pocked with scars, much like my arms were, it was hard to forget what I’d been through.
What I’d done.
But that’s the funny thing about pasts. No matter how far you think you are ahead, it’s always there, nipping at your heels, clawing its way forward until it is in your face, baring its teeth and you’re unable to ignore it.
As cheesy as it may sound, the thing that finally chased the past back where it belonged, was love.
The notion of romantic love was something I’d always thought b
elonging to prior and much older generations of people. My parents had it. So did my grandparents. But I believed it was something that had faded with time, each generation less and less capable of the kind of love found in romance novels.
Until Preppy.
Because of him I knew love wasn’t a myth because suddenly my heart felt so full it was going to break. Love wasn’t just a notion. Our love was practically tangible. I felt it moving around between us. A zing. A connection tethering us together even when I thought he was dead.