“How dare you?” She was furious on my behalf, fuming and fully in the midst of a redheaded fit of temper. It was awesome, but Grant narrowed his eyes and took a step forward. “You’re nothing but an elitist bully. You were so fortunate to have a chance to raise a happy and healthy child, and yet you threw that away. Nash is a million times the man you’ll ever be.” Her eyes flashed as she looked between my mom and Grant. “You’re selfish and awful and you deserve each other. You didn’t earn the right to have Nash as a son.”
Grant made a strangled noise in his throat and took another step toward her. I reached around Saint and put a hand in the center of his chest and pushed him back. I made sure he understood the seriousness of what I was saying to him in my tone.
“If you so much as look at her wrong, I will break every bone in your body, and then when they heal I will break them all again. When I was a kid you were a dick and I couldn’t do anything about it. I’m not a kid anymore so you might want to watch it.”
“Are you threatening me?” He sounded indignant and prissy.
“No, I’m just telling you how it is. I don’t want you here, either of you. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I have to go give my father’s eulogy.”
My mom looked like she wanted to say something else, but just like she always did when Grant started to lead her away, she went willingly. I looked down at Saint and gave her a lopsided smile.
“Let’s do this.”
She clasped my hand and lifted one rust-colored brow at me. “Your real name is Nashville?”
I did something I never thought I would do on such a rough day: I laughed. “Yeah, and never mention it again.”
I walked into the church and sat her down next to Cora, who immediately wrapped my girl up in a hug. I kept going to the podium that was set up off to the side of the urn and little memorial the girls had created. There were pictures of Phil throughout the years, his first tattoo machine, his leather jacket, the bars off his navy uniform … it was a fitting and thoughtful tribute. I looked at it out of the corner of my eye, cleared my throat, and let my gaze wander over the crowd.
I saw Rule nod at me, saw Jet tilt his head just a little, Rowdy gave me a sad little half grin, and Cora just kept crying silently into Rome’s shoulder. It was those soft gray eyes I landed on. She was just watching me, serene and so precious. I ignored everyone else and focused what I had to say on her.
“I called Phil Donovan a lot of things for the time I had him in my life. Friend, boss, mentor, uncle, and at the end … dad. He was all of those things and so much more to so many. Phil took in anyone that was lost and tried to guide them in the right direction until they were found. In doing that, he brought a bunch of angry, frustrated, directionless souls together and now we have each other. We owe our family to Phil.”
I heard throats clear and saw bodies shift in the seats.
“When I was younger I wanted to be just like Phil when I grew up. I thought he was so cool, had the greatest job, and I admired how he lived his life on his own terms, all while trying his damnedest to take care of me. He was a great guy, and if you asked me then what he would’ve wanted to be remembered for, I would’ve said it was his art, his dedication to creating a place for creativity and individuality to flourish. Now …” I had to take a second to clear my throat and I curled my hands into fists on the podium in front of me. “Now I think my answer would be me. I’m a man that made his father proud. I’ll keep his dream, his legacy, alive and I’ll do it with his memory in mind every step of the way. I also think he would be proud of us. Despite the trials, the struggles, the roadblocks life has decided to throw in our paths, we are falling in love, getting married, having babies, growing businesses, and doing the things that make us happy. I think that’s all he ever really wanted for any of us. Phil Donovan will be missed, my dad will be missed—but he will live on in each and every one of us whose lives he touched and helped shape.”
I didn’t have anything else, so I said thank you, told the crowd that was silently weeping for the most part that anyone that wanted to share something was more than welcome to get up and take the mike, and went down to take a seat by my girl.
She had tracks of tears on her pale face and curled into me with her head on my shoulder.
“Thank you.” Her voice was a husky breath of sound.
“For what?”
“For being you.”
So there it was. I put an arm around her shoulders and listened to people tell stories about how wonderful my dad was, how impactful he had been, and I thought when it was all said and done I would take his ashes somewhere up in the mountains, drive the Charger way too fast, and let him go. It was an ending he would approve of all the way around.
CHAPTER 18
Saint
After the funeral, Nash looked like he was going to fall over from lack of sleep and stress. His friend Cora and her dad, who had been friends with Phil while in the navy, were having a get-together at her house for everyone. I knew Nash was going to try and power through and go, but he needed to go to bed and recharge. I didn’t want to say anything, wasn’t sure it was my place, but when I mentioned how burned out he looked, Rule and Rome both agreed, and told me I should take him home and put him to bed. Rule said it more with a leer, which had his brother thunking him on the back of the head, but all the same, when Nash broke away from the group that had commandeered him, I let him gather me up and told him, “Take me home.”
He didn’t argue, didn’t question it, didn’t stop to tell everyone else what he was doing, just whisked me away to the Charger and took me back to the Victorian. Once we were inside, he started peeling off his dark clothing, which was a delightful sight to see for sure, but after he took a shower and shoved some food in his face, he was obviously dead on his feet, which didn’t leave room open for talking, let alone anything else that might have been on the agenda.
I kicked off the heels I had worn all day, cuddled up to his big, tattooed body and rubbed his shaved head, traced my fingers over the flames decorating his scalp and shoulders until his heavy chest started rising and falling in a steady rhythm. His dark lashes fluttered lightly against his tawny cheeks and I rubbed a thumb gently over his raven-colored eyebrows. He was beautiful, perfect, and stronger than anyone I had ever known. He was all mine. I would never take that for granted again.
Once he was settled, I slipped out from under him and went to pick up around the apartment that had been neglected for the last few weeks. I called Sunny and told her I was back and that I would be back at work as soon as she needed me, and told her to set up the interview with the director of nursing for the promotion. I gave her the CliffsNotes version of what had been going on and my heart just swelled with how receptive and kind she was. I really needed to let that friendship grow outside of work because she was a really great lady and so firmly in my corner. I also called Faith to fill her in and got an earful about running off to Phoenix with no warning.
I think she was happy for me in the grand scheme of things, she was definitely thrilled that Mom was doing so much better, but she made it clear that Nash was not her first choice for me. At some point, her opinion, her feelings on the matter, might have held me back, might have swayed me into thinking we weren’t the best match, but I knew better now. Like I told him, I had to look at myself and my life through my own lens and no one else’s, and all I saw on the other side of that was him and the me he saw when he looked at me with those brilliant eyes of his.
I was rinsing out a million abandoned coffee mugs and getting ready to load the dishwasher when there was a light tap on the door. Since all of his friends were at Cora and Rome’s house and he had made his stance clear with his mother, I figured it had to be Royal. I wiped my hands on a towel and went to pull the door open. My eyes got huge when I took her in.
Her dark red hair was in a tangled mess. She had a yellow-and-green bruise blooming around one of her dark eyes, and her bottom lip was split wide open. She had the bottom half
of her police uniform on and a plain white tank top on top. There was blood on the collar and one of the arms was ripped.
“Are you okay?”
She snorted but I saw her cut lip tremble just a little. “Hazard of the job. I tussled with a junkie that was bigger and meaner than me. I just wanted to see how the two of you were doing.”
She really was nice and I wanted to give her and this burgeoning friendship a shot.
“We’re all right. It was rough for a minute. His mom is a witch and his stepdad sucks, but the service was nice and Nash broke everyone’s heart with his eulogy. He’s crashed out, which I think he needs more than anything now. Thank you for calling me.”
She gathered her messy hair in a fist and nodded. “You were on your way home anyway. That’s what matters. I had a shit day. I’m going to lie down, too.”
I grabbed her arm as she turned away and noticed she had the glitter of tears in her dark eyes.
“It gets easier, you know.”
“What does?”
“Having a job like you do. My first night on the floor in the ER, there was a gang shooting. They rolled in five gunshot wounds at the same time. I was trained for it, knew what I was supposed to do, but after it was all said and done, I went home and cried for three hours and lost my lunch. You get used to it, it just becomes part of the routine.”
She nodded and ran her tongue over the nasty cut bisecting her lip. “That’s why I need you to be my friend, Saint.”
She was back across the hallway and in front of her own door when I called out, “You have my number, use it.”
She waved a hand at me over her shoulder and disappeared inside her own place.
I went back to picking up, and by the time I was done decided it was my turn for a shower. Nash was still out when I snuck in the room to snag one of his shirts to change into and it took every ounce of restraint I had not to kiss every line, every curve, of his face until he woke up.
I was rubbing a towel over my hair and walking back into the living room to watch TV until he woke up when I drew up short. He was most definitely awake, leaning against the back of the couch and watching me with heavy-lidded, purple eyes. The boxers were navy blue this time and his arms bulged enticingly where they were crossed across his delectable chest. As always, my gaze followed those wings that disappeared into the waistband of his underwear.
“Hey.” I couldn’t help the husky drop in my voice.
He lifted a black eyebrow at me and the corner of his mouth kicked up in a grin.
“Thanks for taking care of me, Saint.”
I took a few more steps into the living room and he caught the end of the towel that was now hanging limply in my hand and used it to tow me in until we were mere inches away from each other.
“Anytime, Nash.”
He reached out and coiled a hand under the wet fall of my hair around my neck. He removed the space remaining between us and I was plastered against his bare chest. It was the best place in the world to be.
“How about you let me take care of you for a while?”
Well, what kind of fool would I be to pass up an offer like that? Only the last time we had been on this couch in any kind of sexy way together I had left him in a pretty unfair state and I wanted to make it up to him. I wanted to take care of him in all ways there were from this point on out.
“How about we just take care of each other?”
Both of his eyebrows shot up and finally, after way too long, a full-fledged smile crossed his handsome face.
“Sounds like a good deal.” Then he bent his head and kissed me like it was the first and last thing he wanted to do every single day from here on out.
Our tongues tangled together, hands slid eagerly across bare skin, and all the best parts of us lined up perfectly. I gasped into his mouth a little when his hands crawled up under the hem of my borrowed T-shirt and cupped the curves of my bottom. He hefted me a little closer so that our pelvises were pressed tightly against one another and I felt his erection throb insistently where it was resting in the cradle of my legs. He made short work of the T-shirt and guided a wide palm from the base of my neck all the way to where my spine dipped in right above my ass. He blew out an appreciative breath that I caught because our mouths were still sealed together.
I pulled back and kissed him on the throat, shivered when he moved a hand across my ribs and up to cup a breast. It seemed unfathomable that I hadn’t enjoyed being touched like this. I guess I just needed the hands, the skilled touch, to belong to him. He rotated the pad of his thumb across one of my nipples and it made my entire body clench in response. If he kept that up there would be recompense for the last scene of romance in this living room. I pulled back a little and kissed him in the center of his chest. I loved how resilient, how taut and hard his body always felt under my mouth. I put a kiss that left a mark right over where his heart was beating steady and strong and let my tongue twist and turn around the flat disk of his nipple. It made me giggle a little when it beaded up in response.
I tickled his abs with my fingertips and rubbed my palms over the wings that covered his sides. I thought the white boxers were my favorite against his swarthy and darker-toned skin, but I decided on the spot as I pulled him free that my favorite from here on out was going to be none at all. His erection was pulsing, practically vibrating in my hand. It was still topped with the metal ring and the barbell and it quivered eagerly in my hand when I gave it a little squeeze at the base.
Nash made a low noise in the back of his throat when I sank down in front of where he was still leaning against the couch. His eyes were midnight dark and there was a high flush on his cheeks. The power, the pride I felt that I could make this man react like that made me really feel like the most beautiful woman in the entire world.
My teeth clicked on the metal ring, which made me want to laugh but had him groaning. He collected my hair up in both his hands as I started rolling, sucking, licking the thing in a way that had his abs contracting and his thighs quivering. I had to keep my hands involved, all of him was never going to fit in my mouth at one time, and I had to admit it was way more fun to do this when there were things my tongue could play with. I heard him growl my name, which was super hot, felt him tug at my hair, which meant he was close. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, I was too busy thinking about how heady the sensation was, how delicious making him react felt … sure, this was more about his pleasure than my own, but his taste, his feel, it was enough to light me up just fine.
I had my hands around the base of his cock, was using them in time with the sucking, swirling motion of my mouth, so I was surprised when he literally yanked me off of him, which resulted in a drag of teeth and a squeeze that was probably rougher than felt good. He yelped out a swearword and I was going to demand to know what he thought he was doing, but my panties were unceremoniously stripped off my legs, leaving me bare and open. He wrenched us around while breathing hard and put my hands on the back of the couch. With a palm in the center of my back between my shoulder blades, he bent me over just a little and used his knee to nudge my legs open enough so that he could fit where he needed to be.
He dropped a heavy kiss on the back of my neck, reached around the front, and covered each of my breasts with his wide hands. He didn’t say anything, just slid inside me, and I thought I was going to die. In this position he went deeper, I felt him more intensely, and the drag and pull of that little extra he was working with made stars dance in front of my eyes. I had to clutch the couch cushions, had to bite my lip—hard—to keep from screaming out each time he pulled out and pushed back in. We had had a lot of sex over the last few months but nothing that felt this raw, this unhinged, and potent.
I felt like this was him leaving his undeniable mark, and as the pleasure grew, as his rhythm and tempo increased, as one of his hands started to slide across my stomach headed for the spot that would push me over at the barest touch, I was ready for it all, I was practically ready to
shatter. Nash’s breathing shifted, his driving hips stilled for a fraction, and his hand stalled on my stomach.
“Holy fuck.” We were both so close, it was hovering so right there, and I had no idea what he was doing but I was going to strangle him if he didn’t start moving again. He was panting like a marathon runner, and when I looked at him over my shoulder, in question, he grimaced and kissed me hard on the mouth all while pulling out of my body as slowly as was humanly possible. It made both of us groan and swear at the same time.
“Do you want to talk about the seriously unprotected sex we were just having or do you want to just go in my room and finish?”
I squealed and buried my face in his chest. “Jeez, no wonder it felt so good.”
He snorted a laugh and I yelped when he swung me up in his arms and headed to the bedroom.
“Maybe you wanna add birth control to your to-do list sometime soon?”
I ran my tongue along the shell of his ear and rubbed my fingers over the flames inked on his shoulders and grinned up at him. If he hadn’t attached his mouth to the side of my neck, started sucking and swirling his tongue along the sensitive cords there, I would’ve told him that I had taken care of that little detail shortly after our rendezvous in the Charger just to be safe. If I had known it would bring on a hasty end to all the delicious things he was doing to my body in the living room, I would’ve sent him a memo about it.
I hit the center of the bed with a little “ouf” when he gracelessly tossed me, and I leaned back to watch him while he got himself all situated. I blinked up at him with wide eyes as he crawled up over me and settled himself back between my legs.
“You are so beautiful.” He really was from the inside out.
He lifted an eyebrow and placed a sweet little kiss on the end of my nose.
“So are you.” I used to just ignore him, to think they were just words he was saying because he thought they needed to be said. Now I understood he meant it and it didn’t matter if I looked the way I did now or if I looked the way I did then, it was the person I was he found beautiful.