you’ve never told anyone and could cost you your life.”
“Why the fuck would I, Felipe? You’re not making any goddamn sense,” Caleb growled. The world shifted beneath his feet, or so he thought.
“What I could tell you would change everything you have ever believed and I need to know you can be trusted to do the right thing,” Felipe said ominously.
Caleb didn’t want to know. Whatever Felipe had to say, wasn’t going to be good, but he had to know. It was Eve and the apple all over again. Knowledge was the forbidden fruit and once tasted, it could damn ones soul, but it was in mankind’s nature to bite. “Felipe,” Caleb choked out, as anger came to the surface. His body shook and his skin burned.
“A secret, Caleb,” Felipe whispered and leaned forward.
There was nothing left to lose, except the girl, “I can’t.”
Felipe shook his head, “Then I can’t help you. Goodnight, Caleb.” He turned to walk away and Caleb grabbed his shoulder.
“Tell me,” he growled.
“You first,” Felipe gripped Caleb’s hand and flung it off his shoulder.
“I…assure me the girl will be safe,” Caleb said and it felt like yet another betrayal. The implications alone were a death sentence for him and Livvie. Of course, Felipe already knew what she meant to him.
“What would you do for the girl, Caleb? Would you die for her? Would you kill?” asked Felipe in a whisper. He looked around the room and Caleb did the same. They were alone.
Caleb’s heart thundered in his chest, “Yes.”
“Would you live? Could you live knowing your entire life has been a lie?”
Caleb was one second away from throttling Felipe and forcing him to talk. He still had his knife tucked into his pants and already, he was thinking of his plan of attack, “Tell me…now!”
Felipe sighed, “Follow me into the dungeon. I’ll tell you everything, but you won’t like it.”
“Where’s Kitten?”
“Upstairs and unharmed. If you care for her as much as I believe you do, I would suggest you keep your wits intact. If all goes as I hope it will, the both of you can leave this place together and never return.” Felipe said.
“Why? Why now? All this time and you’ve never dangled information in front of me,” Caleb said through gritted teeth. Felipe wanted Caleb to do something. It meant he couldn’t be trusted. Caleb’s mind was already churning with ideas on how to get rid of him. Still, Caleb wanted to hear what Felipe had to say. Perhaps he could use it to sway Rafiq.
“I’m a business man, Caleb. One does not achieve my level of success without first being able to spot an opportunity. Twenty years ago, I saw an opportunity to stop being a lieutenant and become a general. Rafiq was useful then. Six years ago I saw an opportunity to expand my business by eliminating my competition. I own half of Mexico now and do business around the world. Rafiq has become…less useful, and as I said, he insists on a lot – too much. You provide me an opportunity, Caleb. In exchange, I can give you the truth about whom you are and where you come from.”
“Admitting you want Rafiq out of your way doesn’t give me a reason to trust you,” Caleb said in hushed tones. “Why would you need me to do your dirty work?”
“Appearances, Caleb; they’re everything. I’ve had plans to get rid of Rafiq cleanly, without inciting the loyalty of our mutual friends. However, I’ve been watching you…and the girl. I know what love can do to a man and I know how desperate you are.”
“Fuck you! I’m not desperate!”
“Aren’t you? I wasn’t sure at first. When you allowed the girl to play at my party, I thought your loyalty to Rafiq knows no bounds. But I saw how it affected you, how jealous you became. I know you took her virginity. Did you think you found all the cameras?” Felipe smiled smugly. “I didn’t have to come to you, Caleb. I’ve put myself and Celia in a compromising situation and I don’t do it lightly. I’m offering you vengeance. I’m offering you a chance to live out your days with Kitten. Do you want it, or not?”
Caleb thought about everything Felipe said. Felipe knew everything between him and Livvie and hadn’t said a word. Caleb knew nothing about Felipe’s plans until now and the fact he’d offered the information himself only solidified his trustworthiness. Caleb had nothing left to lose and everything to gain. “Lead the way,” he said.
As Caleb followed Felipe down the dark wooden stairs, he contemplated pushing him. However, he’d made up his mind to hear what the man had to say. He could always kill him after. Caleb reached for the light and turned it on as they descended.
He thought of the last time he had been down here. He’d strapped Kitten to an exam table and watched her play with her pussy. He smiled to himself.
When they arrived at the bottom, Felipe pointed to a chair near the wall. “I’ll need you to sit there and I’ll need to tie you up.”
Caleb’s steps faltered and he reached for his knife. He held it out in front of him, blocking the stairs, “You’ve lost your fucking mind if you think I’m going to let you tie me up.”
“Don’t be a child! Your anger makes you stupid and I don’t need you acting rashly. What I have to tell you is going to boil your blood and I can’t have you loose in the house!” Felipe shouted.
“Tell me what you have to say! Or you die now! I’m tired of your games, Felipe,” Caleb said.
Felipe’s eyes shone with fury as he held up his hands and backed away from Caleb. Abruptly, he reached behind him and pulled out his gun. “Sit. Now.”
Adrenaline surged through Caleb’s veins, but he knew he was at a disadvantage. He’d played directly into Felipe’s hands. He weighed his options and was horrified to discover they were few and ended in his death. His only true concern was for Livvie.
“Swear to me the girl is safe,” Caleb whispered and he realized it sounded like a plea. It had been a long time since Caleb had begged for anything.
Nothing left to lose, Caleb. Fuck your pride.
“I swear it,” Felipe said evenly.
Caleb swallowed, “You can keep the gun on me. There’s no need to tie me up.”
“Come inside and sit down. I’ll leave you free, but if you attempt to get by me, I will shoot you, Caleb. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Caleb said and did as Felipe asked.
“Did Rafiq ever tell you how his mother and sister died?” Felipe asked.
Caleb’s heart felt like it might burst clear out of his chest. His mind was fixated on Livvie, on seeing her again, on getting her to safety. Felipe’s questions seemed strange and Caleb suddenly wished he’d never agreed to listen. “Vladek killed them.”
“Did you never wonder why?”
Caleb had wondered, many times, but Rafiq had explained it all away by saying Vladek had been a criminal, simply passing through and fixated on his sister. “Get to the point!”
Felipe sighed heavily, “Very well. Rush me if you must, but keep your mouth shut and listen. Rafiq killed them.”
Caleb’s face contorted in disbelief, “You’re lying!” He stood and took a step forward. He stopped when Felipe drew the hammer back on his revolver.
“Sit down! It’s only the beginning,” Felipe’s accent was thicker when he was angry. Caleb sat. “I met Rafiq and Vladek in the 80’s. The two of them were dealing in stockpiled Russian weapons. My boss at the time was accepting shipments from them in exchange for cocaine and heroin. Over the years, all of us became…friends. Rafiq and Vladek were especially close.”
Caleb felt dizzy, but he maintained his bearing.
“The stockpile eventually dwindled, but by then, Vladek had become the heir to his father’s company in Russia. His father and brothers…met with an unfortunate accident. Anyway, things were good for a while, but nothing good lasts forever, as they say.”
“Again!” Caleb shouted, “Get to the fucking point!”
Felipe smiled, “I’m tempted to put a bullet in you, Caleb. Shut up!”
“Rafiq’s father died, leaving him in charge of his mother and sister. Rafiq loved them very much and doted on them, especially his sister, A’noud. We were all young men, then. Young men are stupid. Vladek stuck his dick where it didn’t belong.”
Caleb felt as though he’d been hit by lightning. “Rafiq’s sister,” Caleb said. Memories were strange. No matter how much time elapsed, or how a memory could change, a person still trusted their own mind. Caleb, the boy, had trusted Rafiq implicitly. It only made sense for Caleb, the man, to trust him as well. Still, the information, while surprising, was not damning or life changing. Caleb could understand why Rafiq would be angry.
“Yes,” Felipe said. “When Rafiq discovered his sister was pregnant and Vladek was the father, he strangled his sister in a murderous rage.”
“I don’t believe you!” Caleb hissed. Rafiq wouldn’t murder his own family, no matter how angry he might have been.
“Don’t interrupt!” Felipe said. “It will all make sense to you in a few minutes. Rafiq’s mother tried to protect her, and she met the same fate. Rafiq was riddled with guilt and he blamed Vladek. Rafiq was out to find him, but Vladek was gone, so he went after their business contacts.”
“How do you know all this?” Caleb asked. He was increasingly suspicious.
“My boss wouldn’t help him, so he came to me. In exchange for what I knew, he helped me rise to power. I’ve always been an opportunist, Caleb. I thought he would lie in wait for Vladek, but what he did instead was…. Well, I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Caleb snorted, “I still don’t see what this has to do with me. Rafiq lost his temper – he wasn’t himself. Vladek still deserves to die.”
“It has a great deal to do with you, Caleb,” Felipe said.
Caleb studied Felipe and the unease in his eyes set the hair on Caleb’s body on edge. “What did he do?” Caleb asked, and for the first time, a tendril of pure fear raced down his spine.
“Vladek had been a bit of a ladies’ man. Women swooned over his blond hair and blue eyes, but I remembered he once spoke longingly about an American woman he’d met at college. She’d left him suddenly and V had said she was the one who got away. I pointed Rafiq toward her.” Felipe paused, apparently lost in thought.
Caleb had heard enough. Felipe had said nothing to sway Caleb’s loyalty and Livvie was waiting upstairs. Their time together had dwindled to a few precious hours and he was done wasting them. “So, Rafiq was a killer long before I knew him. So what?” Caleb stood, “Keep your secrets, Felipe. And keep mine as well, at least until tomorrow night. I promise to do the same.”
“She had a son!” Felipe spat. “The splitting image of Vladek: blond hair, blue eyes.”
Caleb slowly sat back down. He swallowed bile and broke out in a cold sweat. He didn’t want to hear anymore. “Wait. Stop.” He waved his arm.
“No one knew. Not even, Vladek, I think. When Rafiq couldn’t find Vladek, he went after the boy as a means to flush Vladek out.”
Not fucking true. He’s lying, Caleb. Kill him. He’s lying!
Felipe didn’t relent, “Vladek went deep into hiding. He had heard about A’noud and knew Rafiq was searching for him. He never came to claim his son, even after Rafiq put him to work in a brothel.”
“Stop!” Caleb said.
“No!” Felipe insisted, “The truth, Caleb. Hear it.”
“It doesn’t make any sense! He’s the one who saved me,” Caleb insisted.
“All he’s done is claim Vladek’s son for his own and use him to carry out his ultimate revenge,” Felipe whispered.
Blond hair. Blue eyes.
Images of Vladek flashed through Caleb’s mind. He was older, and his hair had turned grey, but his eyes were blue.
He’s Russian! They all have blue eyes!
Caleb had always wondered why he’d been taken. Why he’d been dragged so far away from home to be a whore. Why Rafiq would save him and not the others. Why?
“You’re saying…” Caleb couldn’t get the rest out. It was too unspeakable to even consider what Felipe was saying. Caleb’s chest felt tight and his stomach churned.
“He left you there, Caleb. You were his revenge. Everyone knew it. The war came and he left you there to rot. No one crossed Rafiq after that, not once they knew what he was capable of. Even criminals love their families, their children.”
Caleb felt himself burst open like a dam. Every emotion, every memory involving Rafiq sifted through his mind. There was nothing Rafiq wouldn’t do to have his revenge. Nothing. Caleb fell to his knees and vomited. For the first time in years, Caleb cried. He couldn’t stop. He screamed and he cried. He heaved for breath.
He rescued me. He clothed me. He fed me. He calls me brother.
“Liar!” Caleb cried. He reached for his knife and lunged toward Felipe, intent on cutting out his lying tongue.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Caleb woke. His head hurt, but it was nothing compared to the pain inside his chest. He pushed himself back onto his heels and raised a hand to his head. It came away bloody. He stared at the blood on his hand. There had been so much blood on Caleb’s hands over the years.
He sobbed.
“He left you there, Caleb. You were his revenge. Everyone knew it. The war came and he left you there to rot. No one crossed Rafiq after that, not once they knew what he was capable of. Even criminals love their families, their children.”
He wanted to tell himself there was absolutely no truth to what Felipe had told him, but he had to admit…it was possible. Rafiq had lied to him about how he knew Vladek. With all he and Rafiq had shared, Caleb couldn’t think of a reason for Rafiq to keep such a thing from him. Unless he had a very good reason.
Vladek is my father.
Caleb shook his head. He couldn’t think about that.
He looked around the room and saw it was empty; Felipe was gone. Caleb had gone toward him with his knife, intent on killing him, but his anger had made him sloppy and Felipe had struck him with the gun. The fact he didn’t shoot Caleb only gave him more credibility.
Caleb wished he’d pulled the trigger, but he knew why Felipe had left him alive. He wanted Caleb to find Rafiq.
No! I can’t.
He hunched over, the pain was too much to bear. There was no way he could possibly survive this betrayal. His entire life had been a lie. He had not been abandoned. He had not been rescued. He’d been taken from a mother who loved him and had tried to protect him by running away from Vladek. He’d been kidnapped by the only real father he’d ever known.
Rafiq.
Rafiq had cared for him. He’d taught him how to read, how to speak five languages. Rafiq had stayed up late and spoken with Caleb because he’d known about the nightmares Caleb used to have when he went to bed alone. He’d taught him how to defend himself. And the entire time….
He knew what he’d done to me. He listened to me recount the way Narweh used to rape me. He’d held me when I cried.
Caleb screamed toward the ground.
I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you for what you’ve done.
“How could you?” he said aloud.
He must laugh at me.
An image of Rafiq and Jair popped into his mind. Their entire relationship had been suspect until that moment. If Rafiq was concerned about Caleb learning the truth, it made sense to have someone around to watch Caleb. He wondered if Jair knew the truth and bile crept into his throat.
Kill them both.
Slowly, Caleb stood from his balled position on the floor. He looked around him and picked up his knife. As he held it in his hand, he shook with rage. Things would end tonight.
He trudged up the stairs, his bare feet slapping against the wood steps. His heart felt both fast and shallow. He had hungered for vengeance for so many years, never knowing the source of all his suffering had held his hand and pointed him toward his own father.
Vladek was not without guilt. He’d known what Rafiq did to him and still had not come for him. He had sacrificed his own flesh and blood for the sake of what? Money? Power? Cowardice?
Caleb had been a pawn since he was a child. Nothing he knew could be trusted, even his memories manipulated him. There was no such thing as truth. The truth relied heavily on perception and Caleb’s had been fucked with since the beginning.
The door was open at the top of the stairs. Caleb didn’t hear any sounds within the house. He suspected Felipe and Celia were long gone. He wondered if they had taken Livvie.
Livvie….
Caleb shut his eyes tight and forced her from his thoughts. He couldn’t think about her. If he went upstairs and found her missing, he would lose any composure he had left. If he found her waiting for him with Felipe and Celia, he risked showing a side of himself he didn’t want her to see. And if he found her hurt…or worse…he would simply turn the knife on himself and Rafiq would live. It was best he didn’t know. Not yet.
Felipe’s home was enormous, filled with many rooms and hiding spaces. He walked slowly, testing each door as quietly as possible. As he walked, his memories wreaked havoc on his soul.
“Why me, Rafiq? I’m no one. I don’t even know who Vladek is,” Caleb said. He sat on the floor with his legs pulled up toward his chest. It was almost time for bed, but he didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to risk having another nightmare.
Lately, he’d been dreaming about the night he killed Narweh. Caleb had shot him and his face was half gone, but Narweh didn’t die. He sat up and jumped on top of Caleb, his open face dripping a river of blood onto Caleb’s.
He could never go back to sleep after that.
Rafiq sat at his desk, writing. “Men like Vladek have no reason for their callousness, Caleb. They see something, or someone, they like and they take it. A’noud was beautiful.” Rafiq paused and smiled. “She was sweet. She used to wrap her arms around me and refuse to let go unless I spun her around. My mother used to complain she’d never find a husband because she’d never want to be away from me.” Rafiq’s gaze was distant, as though he were reliving a fond memory.
Caleb looked toward the imaginary spot containing Rafiq’s memory of his sister and he wished he had one of his own.
“Do you miss her?” Caleb asked in a whisper.
Rafiq’s expression turned grim and he returned to his papers, “Much of the time. My hope is that once Vladek is dead, I can give my sister and mother some peace.”
Caleb nodded. “Do you think…? Nevermind.” Caleb pulled at the rug with his fingernails, at a loss for what to say.
“Ask, Caleb. There is no room for secrets between you and I. We are in this together,” Rafiq said. He smiled at Caleb warmly.
“I wouldn’t keep secrets from you. I promise. You saved my life and I owe you everything. It’s just…do you think…I have a family? I mean, I must have had one…before.” Caleb’s face felt hot.
Rafiq sighed, “I don’t know, Caleb. I’m sorry.”
Caleb shrugged and picked at the carpet some more. “It doesn’t matter. You’re the only one who came looking for me. If I have a family, they must not care very much.”
Rafiq stood from his desk and got down on one knee in front of Caleb and lifted his chin. “We are orphans, Caleb. We make our own families.”
Caleb’s chest swelled with emotions he didn’t understand. He pressed his lips together and nodded. He felt relieved when Rafiq let him go and ruffled his hair. Caleb didn’t want to cry in front of Rafiq. He wanted to make him proud.
“Let us see what sweets are in the kitchen, Caleb.”
Caleb smiled brightly and jumped up from the floor, trailing behind Rafiq.
His first impulse was to throw open the door and start stabbing anything within arm’s reach, but he’d made enough mistakes to last him a lifetime. He was determined to get it right this time.