“So it’s a real thing?” Charlie sounded skeptical. “I know what you told me about it, Becca,” she went on, looking at her friend. “But I just don’t see how it can possibly work. The Goddess herself told me the deity they worship isn’t even real. How can she curse someone if she’s just a stone idol?”
“It was the priestess who laid the curse,” Becca reminded her.
“And it is working because Trin believes it is real,” Sylvan said softly. “You cannot remove the teachings of a lifetime in a moment, Charlotte.”
“All right, fine—whatever.” Charlie made an impatient motion. “So the curse is real.”
“Real enough that it’s killing Trin,” the blond Kindred said gravely.
“Well can you help her get over it? Can you give her some medicine or remove the curse?” Becca asked anxiously.
Commander Sylvan shook his head.
“I am afraid there is no medicine for the kind of sickness the blood curse causes.”
“Well then what can we do?” Becca demanded. “We have to help her, Commander Sylvan. We have to.”
“We cannot…but maybe a priestess can,” he murmured.
“A priestess? You mean in the Sacred Grove?”
“I think that would be the best place, yes.” He nodded. “After all, did you not say that a priestess from her home world laid the curse on her in the first place?”
“Yes, she did—the horrible bitch.” Charlie made a face.
“Then a priestess from the true Goddess—the Mother of All Life—must remove it. Trin must be taken to the Sacred Grove. My kin—my niece as I believe you would call her—is here for a brief visit from First World. She can see Trin.”
“Who—Nadiah?” Becca asked. “I met her once when I was hanging out with Sophie and she called on the viewscreen. She’s nice.”
“She is also the Mouthpiece of the Goddess,” Commander Sylvan said. “If anyone can speak for the Mother of All Life, Nadiah can. We are very lucky she’s here, another priestess might have to see into Trin—that is not a comfortable experience. Nadiah doesn’t need to see into anyone to get to the heart of a problem—she has other ways of finding answers.”
“Sounds perfect,” Charlie said. “When can we see her?”
“She’s in the Sacred Grove now, giving thanks for a safe trip. Go there and I’ll bespeak her and send word that you’re coming. I’m sure she’ll be glad to help.”
“Thank you,” Charlie nodded. “We’ll try it.” She looked at Trin. “Come on, sweetie—we’re going on a little trip.”
Chapter Thirty-eight
Naturally Trin protested that she didn’t want to go anywhere. In fact, she didn’t even want to leave the couch. It was warm and safe and comfortable—she wanted to stay curled up there forever…or until the curse killed her.
But she lacked the energy to fight so she finally allowed Charlie and Becca to bathe her and brush what was left of her hair. Then they dressed her in a clean, simple white shift dress and dragged her out of the visitor’s suite she’d been staying in ever since she’d gotten to the ship.
They took the public transport down to the grassy, park-like area in the center of the Kindred ship. It was filled with families having fun, playing and picnicking on the smooth green and purple grass and basking in the light of the small but incredibly strong artificial green sun which, according to Becca, also powered the ship.
At any other time, Trin might have been interested in the things she saw all around her. She had always loved delving into other cultures and visiting new places—it was one reason she’d become a ship’s captain in the first place. But now the picnicking families seemed too loud and the sunlight seemed too bright. She felt tired and hopeless and utterly alone, even though she was surrounded by people.
“Please,” she muttered as they reached the edge of a grove of green and purple trees. “Please, can’t we just go back? This is all too much—I just want to sleep.”
“If you’re not careful you’ll wind up sleeping your life away,” Charlie remarked tartly. “That’s what my mama used to say when she came banging on my door to get me up out of bed as a teenager,”
“That’s what I want,” Trin said softly. “That’s all I want—just to sleep until I die. Why won’t you let me do that, Charlie? Why?”
“Because you’re my friend!” Charlie took her by the shoulders and shook her lightly. “Because I know who you really are inside! You’re brave and loyal and sweet and caring and smart and I am not giving up on you, Trin! Now get your ass in the Sacred Grove and stop talking about sleeping. It’s time to wake up and start living.”
To Trin’s surprise, Charlie turned her around and gave her a firm push in the shoulder blades. She stumbled forward and nearly fell but she caught herself with one hand against the trunk of a large, graceful tree. Looking up at it, Trin saw it had purple bark and leaves that were every shade of green imaginable.
It’s beautiful…The thought drifted into her head and it occurred to Trin that this was the first positive idea she’d had in weeks. She continued to stare at the tree in wonder, watching the patterns of sunlight falling through its leaves. Truly beautiful…
When she finally looked away from the tree, she found that she was face to face with a slim, blonde girl with extraordinary greenish-blue eyes. She was wearing a simple white gown, not much different from Trin’s own, and a friendly smile.
“Hi there,” the girl said. “You must be Trin. I’m Nadiah.”
“Hello…” Some of Trin’s tiredness was fading—affected perhaps by the fresh, clean scent of the trees all around her. But it was replaced by confusion. Why was she here? What did Charlie and Becca think this woman could do for her? What did they think anyone could do against the blood curse?
“Sylvan tells me you’ve been having some problems back home.” Nadiah took Trin’s hand in her own smooth, cool one and led her deeper into the small grove.
“I…guess you could say that,” Trin murmured.
They had come to a small stone bench and Nadiah settled upon it. She still had Trin’s hand and she drew her down to sit as well. Then she was silent. For a long time they simply breathed, drinking in the pure, clear air of the grove, inhaling the fresh scent of the trees. At last Nadiah turned to her.
“Tell me,” she said simply.
“I…” Trin cleared her throat. “I was blood cursed by the high priestess of my temple and disowned by my mother.”
Nadiah made a sympathetic sound.
“What happened to cause all that? You fell for the wrong male?”
“In my case it was falling for any male at all.” Trin didn’t know why she was telling Nadiah this. She didn’t even know the female. But somehow the touch of her soft hand and the delicious, clean scent of the trees all around them made her want to talk. But she couldn’t…not quite. She couldn’t seem to find the words.
Nadiah seemed to understand her problem. She placed her other hand on Trin’s face and the cupped her cheek gently.
“Be thee unbound,” she murmured and passed her fingers lightly over Trin’s lips. “Speak and tell what you must.”
Trin drew in a deep trembling breath and somehow found she was able to tell what needed to be told.
The words came haltingly at first, then faster and faster until Trin’s words were tumbling over themselves as she tried to get them all out. She told about buying Thrace at the Flesh Bazaar and saving his life, then how he had returned the favor when he followed her into The Demon’s Eye. Then their fateful business trip to Lady Tam-tam’s estate and the way they had been drawn closer and closer together. Then their encounter with Two and the way he had forced her to drink the passion berry wine. And then…making love with Thrace. She blushed with shame as she spoke of it—admitting what she had done to a complete stranger wasn’t easy. But Nadiah only nodded and there was no judgment in her face.
“And you bonded to him then?” she asked softly.
“I think so…yes…ye
s, I did. We did bond,” Trin admitted. “But…I didn’t want to be bonded to him. To any male. So I…found a way to block the bond.”
“And that was because of your belief that it is wrong to love a male?”
Trin nodded and explained about the religion she’d been raised in and how loving a male and especially making love to one was a slap in the face of the Goddess of Judgment.
“But it’s not just that,” she finished. “It’s the blood curse—it’s going to kill me. I had to push him away so I wouldn’t drag him down with me.”
Nadiah nodded sympathetically, still holding Trin’s hand.
“I understand,” she said quietly. “But tell me more. Tell it all—you need to.”
Trin knew she was right. But when she got to the part about what had been done to her in the temple of the Goddess of Judgment, she found she couldn’t look at the blonde girl as she spoke. Instead, she looked down at her bare feet in the purple-green grass and tried to tell the part about Swift and Silk quickly.
When she finally explained how she had been blood cursed and her mother had disowned her, she was almost afraid to look at Nadiah again. When she did, she saw, to her surprise, that the other girl’s greenish-blue eyes had turned completely green—a pure, brilliant emerald that seemed to blaze from her face.
And the pure green eyes were filled with tears.
“Uh…” Trin wasn’t sure what to say—was this normal? “Nadiah…your eyes,” she said hesitantly. “Are you crying?”
“Daughter…” The voice that spoke from Nadiah’s lips was soft and kind but it was not Nadiah’s. It was warm and feminine and filled with such power it filled Trin with awe to hear it. “Daughter,” said the voice again. “I weep for thee. Your pain and shame is mine. I take it on myself and I absolve thee.”
“You what?” Trin asked hesitantly. “I don’t understand.”
“For the sins you have committed and the ones you think you have committed, you are forgiven,” said the voice.
“Oh…” Trin whispered. Though she still didn’t fully understand, she suddenly felt filled to overflowing with some vast, profound emotion she couldn’t even name to herself. Somehow she knew she was in the presence of a deity—a being far wiser and infinitely older than herself. All around them the entire grove seemed to have hushed itself in a kind of holy reverence.
“Your holiness…Goddess?” Trin shifted a little. There was something she wanted to know, but she was almost afraid to speak to the presence that was talking to her through Nadiah.
“Do not fear. Speak your question.”
“Are you…the Goddess of the Kindred?”
“I am.”
“But…it was the other Goddess—my Goddess that I offended,” Trin explained haltingly. “The Goddess of Judgment. So how can you forgive me when she is the one I sinned against?”
“You are hers no longer, for I claim you as my own, daughter,” the voice assured her. “Fear not—all your wrongs are made right.”
“But, well…I was undergoing a…a cleansing ceremony,” Trin tried to explain. “I had to pay for my sins and I tried but…I couldn’t. Nothing I did was enough.”
“My forgiveness is freely offered—you have only to accept it. And then forgive yourself.”
Forgive yourself. It was exactly what Becca and Charlie had been telling her for days but somehow it seemed to make sense now. Trin felt something begin to loosen in her chest—a knot she hadn’t even known was there, pulled tight around her heart—was slowly being untied. The dullness that had consumed her—the wish to lie down and sleep and never wake up—suddenly blew away.
Trin took a deep breath and felt fully alive as she hadn’t since before she entered the temple of the Goddess of Judgment. It was as though she’d had a dark cloud surrounding her for days and a fresh, sweet wind had swept it far out to sea where it could never bother her again.
“I…I’ll try,” she whispered. “I’ll try to…to forgive myself.”
“You must go and be healed.” Nadiah’s soft fingertips brushed lightly over her welted arm. “When you are healed without, you will also be healed within.”
“All right.” Trin wasn’t quite sure she understood that but she was willing to go with it. Still, she had one more concern. “But…what about the blood curse?”
Nadiah’s slim hand passed over her cheek slowly.
“There is no curse,” the voice promised. “I lift it from you. There is now no shame or fear or condemnation. There is only love.”
“Love,” Trin echoed softly. Suddenly she was able to name the emotion that was filling her—it was joy. A joy so pure and sweet she hadn’t felt anything like it since childhood. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you so much…”
Suddenly Nadiah closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, they were back to their normal color of greenish-blue.
“Um…Nadiah?” Trin looked at her uncertainly. Was she back?
“Yes.” The other girl smiled. “You’ve spoken to the Goddess, haven’t you?”
“I did.” Trin looked at her in wonder. “I really did.”
“And what did she say?” Nadiah asked, pressing her hand.
“That she forgives me and that…she loves me and claims me for her own.” Trin felt joy welling up in her soul again. “She lifted the blood curse! And told me that that…that I didn’t have to pay for my sins. She forgave me freely.”
Nadiah smiled gently. “That’s the way the Goddess works. She loves her children so much—she never wants to see them hurt or in pain. Sometimes we face difficult trials and seemingly impossible situations but the Goddess is always near and she always makes sure we get through it.”
“I believe it,” Trin said. “I believe in her. She spoke to me through you.”
“That’s part of my job—I’m the Mouthpiece of the Goddess.” Nadiah smiled. “She chooses many different ways to communicate with her children. I’m glad she chose me to communicate with you.”
“I’m glad too.” Trin smiled and realized it was the first smile she’d had in days. She raised her fingers to her face and traced the curve of her lips. “It’s so surprising…I felt like…like I’d never smile again. Never be happy again,” she said wonderingly. “And I felt so guilty for…for letting myself love Thrace and express that love physically.”
“The Goddess approves of the love between those she has brought together. She has restored your soul.” Nadiah squeezed her hand. “You are healed—on the inside, anyway.” Her eyes traced the welts that still marred Trin’s skin.
“She said something about that—she said that if I was healed on the outside, I’d be completely healed on the inside too.” Trin frowned. “But I’m not sure what she meant by that. Maybe just that I should go to a doctor and do what he tells me?”
“Maybe,” Nadiah agreed.
“I didn’t want to before,” Trin confessed. “I didn’t want to do anything but sleep until…until I died. Until the blood curse killed me. But now I want to live.”
“You will live…a long and happy life.” Nadiah smiled at her. “You’ll have some hardships along the way but always remember the Goddess is watching out for you. And that she has a very special purpose for your life.”
“She does?” Trin whispered.
Nadiah nodded. “She does. And now you need to go. I believe there is someone you need to see in order to complete the task the Goddess gave you. You need to be healed.”
“All right.” Trin nodded her head, feeling her strength and hope and purpose return. She gestured at her arms. “I’m tired of looking like this. I’m going to see if there’s anything I can do to look normal again.”
“You will be made well.” Nadiah smiled at her. “And, Trin—you are loved and forgiven—a child of the Goddess. Always remember that.”
“I will,” Trin whispered. Impulsively she threw her arms around Nadiah’s neck and hugged her. The other girl hugged her back, enfolding her in an embrace that was
kind and comforting. “Thank you so much. I will.”
Chapter Thirty-nine
“You’re sure about this?” Thrace looked at the small vial of blue medicine Commander Sylvan had handed him.
“Quite sure. Our Tolleg doctor, Yipper, has been working on it for months.” Sylvan nodded at the little person? Animal? Thrace wasn’t sure what he was but he was small and gray and furry and wore a white lab coat.
“Hello, hello,” he said to Thrace, nodding his furry head so rapidly it made his long floppy ears shake.
“Uh, hello.” Thrace nodded back at him.
“He actually used much of my own essence as well as that of other Blood Kindred who donated their time and essence to make it,” Sylvan said.
“And it does…what again?” Thrace raised an eyebrow at him but it was Yipper who fielded the question.
“It enables any Kindred male to make a protein in their saliva that acts as a healing agent. Yes it does, yes it does,” he said in his high, squeaky voice. “So that you can heal the female you are bonded to. Only her and no one else, you understand. Some of the Kindred already have this ability but others wanted it as well. Yes they did, yes they did. So I developed the Healing Compound for them.”
“But…I’m Havoc, not Kindred,” Thrace objected. “How do you know this will work on me?”
“Your DNA is almost the same as a Kindred’s—ninety-nine point nine percent the same. Yes it is, yes it is.” Yipper nodded vigorously again. “You should have no problem metabolizing the compound. No you shouldn’t, no you shouldn’t.”
“So you’re saying I should drink this…and then I’ll be able to heal Trin?” Thrace was still skeptical.
“Yes, absolutely,” Commander Sylvan said, nodding firmly. “There should be no problem at all.”
“No problem, you say?” Thrace frowned. “Well, I can see a problem. Even if this works, what makes you think I’d be able to convince Trin to let me try it out on her? I can’t get through to her—not even using our bond. In fact…” He passed a hand over his eyes briefly. “To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure if we have a bond anymore.”