the keys. He felt too bloody tired to drive back to the lodge. Besides, her ghost would be in every room. The lodge would be temporary, anyway. Where would he live? He’d closed the apartment in New York.
No idea how long he’d sat there, staring into oblivion. Next thing he knew, Raine eased into the room and sat beside him. Fucking Hammer. The bastard must have given her his key.
He couldn’t deal with her right now, couldn’t bear for her to see him so raw. “Raine, just go back to Hammer. He’ll take care of you. He always has.”
Liam wanted to do right by her. Even now, when his heart was breaking, he tried to find the courage to let her go so she could be happy. After all, it wasn’t her fault she was in love with someone else. She’d told him that before he’d ever once kissed her. He’d been stupid to hope he could snare her heart, too. He had no one to blame but himself.
“I need you every moment of every day, Liam. I’ve been going crazy with worry for you. Please, listen. I’m sorry. This is all my fault—”
“Every time my back is turned you’re fucking him, giving to him in a way you’ve never surrendered yourself to me.” The accusation slipped out, fueled by a mix of fury, ugly jealousy, and fatigue.
“That’s not true,” she protested.
“We both know it is. Whatever you feel, you’ll never love me even half as much as you love Hammer.”
Raine sent him a horrified stare, then threw her arms around him. “If I’ve done anything to make you think that, I’m so sorry. It’s not true. Will you just listen?”
Liam didn’t answer. Maybe she’d feel better saying whatever she needed to. Or maybe she’d finally realize he was right. He’d rather gouge his eyes out than hear this, but he shrugged.
“I was worried sick about you with Gwyneth. I didn’t know what she could do to hurt you more, but I’m sure she could think of something. I couldn’t be with you and I couldn’t do anything for you. I hate feeling helpless. So I began baking and…Hammer found me. He realized I’d worked myself up. He helped me get out of my head and—”
“What did you bake?” Liam wasn’t even sure why he asked.
“Sugar cookies. And muffins.”
“What kind?”
She hesitated. “Apple spice.”
Hammer’s favorite. Of course. That just pissed him off more. “Did you ever once ask what I like? No. Date scones, Raine. Not that it matters.”
“You always ate whatever I put out and I thought…” She closed her mouth and drew in a breath. “You’re right. I didn’t ask. I’m sorry, Liam. I’ll make date scones for you.”
“Don’t bother.” Would she? He hated feeling this vulnerable. And angry. Christ, he was snapping at her for acting on her feelings. Liam closed his mouth. Better to stop now.
“It’s not a bother. I bake Hammer’s favorites because I want to please him. I would gladly do the same for you because I love you.”
Now she was just feeling sorry for him.
He stood. “It doesn’t matter. Just go. I need a shower and—”
“Something to eat, someone to take care of you.” She rose beside him and put her arms around him. “That’s why I’m here. I’ll give you whatever you need.”
Liam couldn’t miss the soft persuasion in her voice.
He broke from her hold and swiped at his face. “It’s Hammer you want. Look at yourself, Raine. Christ, you’re so bloody in heat for him. Do you even care what he does to you?”
“I’m fine,” she assured. “He didn’t hurt—”
“You all but accused me of treating you like a whore earlier. Hammer’s the one who treats you that way. There’s barely an inch of you he hasn’t branded. Next you’ll be telling me you liked it.”
“I did.”
Those two words went off like a bomb inside him. She loved Hammer so much that she’d gladly wear the symbols of his touch. Liam shook his head. He’d treated Raine so gently—like a fucking princess—and he’d held back for so long because she looked delicate. Her feelings were even more fragile. He’d been afraid to hurt her.
What an idiot he’d been.
“I won’t lie.” She’d dropped her chin and said it so quietly he almost didn’t hear it. “I needed it.”
From Hammer. Just not from him. “And you got it.”
“I needed what he gave me, Liam. And he needed to give it to me.” She raised her head to meet his stare. “I’ll take him in any way he chooses—soft, sweet, hard, passionate, rough, dirty—because he touches my soul.”
“Well, then you should go.” He gestured her out the door. “Hammer is more than capable of seeing to your every craving and desire.”
“You do the same for me. I’d be proud to wear your marks, too, Liam.”
He couldn’t bear her mollifying words as he looked at her sadly. “I’ve already given you my whole heart, Raine. It’s obviously not enough.”
“Not enough?” she asked in teary incredulity. “Liam, you’re everything to me. I love you with every beat of my heart. I need you more than my next breath.”
The impact of each word reverberated like a blast through him. God, he needed her, too.
“And you know how hard that is for me to say,” she sobbed.
Liam did. He held back his own tears.
Even when he felt abandoned and betrayed, he feared crushing her heart. He loved her more than he’d ever loved Gwyneth or anyone else. Raine might be the submissive in their relationship, but she wielded so much power. She could annihilate him.
Instead, she smiled tremulously at him. “I love Hammer. I admit it. But I love you, too, Liam—every bit as much.”
He wanted to believe that and didn’t know if he could. And he was too fucking overwrought to deal with it now. “It doesn’t feel that way, Raine.”
“Then let me prove it,” she insisted. “Don’t tell me no because I’ll fight for you, the way you fought for me.”
“Christ… Stop.”
“Punish me if you want to. I’ll take whatever you mete out. But I need you to understand one thing.” She took his face in her hands and melded their gazes. “Any time either you or Hammer wants me, together or alone, I’ll submit to my Masters because I belong to you both. You’re the two halves of my heart.”
He struggled to put distance between them, get away from that insistent stare delving into him, seeing all his bleeding insecurities. Even as he stumbled toward the shower, Liam felt the gut-deep need for Raine to wrap her arms around him and love him the way she did Hammer.
Raine followed him. “Tell me what you need, Liam.”
“I’m fine.” Would she ever give him the same open body, heart, and soul she gave his friend? If he let her in again, could she?
“You’re not, and I won’t leave you when you’re half starved, exhausted, and hurting. You never left me to drown in my own worries, even when you felt as if I’d betrayed you, even when I wasn’t giving my submission to you. Even when you uncollared me, you tried your damnedest to stay by my side. I won’t do less for you. You want to know what you give me? Why I love you? Because you listened, you understood, and you loved me no matter what. I’ve never had that once in my life. No one has ever just held me and accepted me as I am. I’ve learned about love from you. I may not have been good at showing you, but you’ve taught me more about the kind of person I want to be. I’m not leaving. And I’m not letting you go.”
Her words touched him in places he didn’t want her to reach right now. His first instinct was to grab her and clutch her like a lifeline, take comfort in her nearness. But she stood before him bruised and tear-stained and defiant. He didn’t bloody know what to do. He didn’t even know what to think. A few weeks ago, at the first sign of his rejection, the girl would have run away. Now, she was a woman, standing her ground, refusing to give up on him. That had to mean she felt something.
“Raine…”
“Do you want to keep arguing or let me help you undress and get showered? I’ll do whatever plea
ses you, Sir.”
Against his will, her concern for him burrowed under his skin. There was the lass he’d first fallen head over heels in love with.
“I’ve been taking care of myself for years, Raine. I can still manage.”
“Of course you can. But you don’t have to,” she replied softly. “I’m not here merely to see to Hammer’s needs. You have them, too. Do you have any other objections before I take care of you?”
He didn’t have the energy to keep arguing. And in truth, he didn’t want to. “Fine. Run me a bath, sub. While I’m soaking, I’d like a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of cold stout.”
She gave him a radiant smile. “I’ll be happy to do that, Sir. While I’m gone, think about what else you need and how else I can serve you.”
Her words bowled him over. Never had he expected the spitfire to give him this sort of total submissive devotion, especially after all he’d blurted in a fit of furious jealousy. Now, Liam couldn’t find a word. He might have given her a house, but Raine had just handed him her soul. And he knew damn well she didn’t give an iota of herself easily. Nothing could have told him more eloquently that she understood him, trusted him…loved him.
Remorse burned through his veins. Still, she stood before him, radiating her willingness to give him anything, everything. His Dominant side thrilled with a million possibilities. If he weren’t so tired, he’d savor every damn one. Right now, he simply wanted to touch her.
“Raine…” He cupped her face, his thumb caressing across her cheek. “Love.”
She closed her eyes and nuzzled into his palm. The visible relief on her face amazed and humbled him.
What the hell had he done to deserve her?
When he dropped his hand, Raine sent him a shaky smile, then stepped to the soaking tub and started the taps. As she waited for the water to turn warm, she approached him on soft footfalls. Her silky pink robe caressed her unbound breasts, belted at her tiny waist, brushed her thighs. Lace framed her lapels and wide cuffs. Soft, feminine…so like the woman herself. Despite being wrung out in every way, he ached to sink deep inside her again.
Never taking her stare from his, Raine stopped before him and fingered the top button of his shirt. “Can I undress you, Sir?”
Liam swallowed. “You may.”
She smoothed her palms across his chest, all the way to his shoulders, before working his buttons. One by one, she freed them from their moorings, not so slowly that he’d call her actions seductive…but not so clinically that he’d call them sterile, either.
The gravity in her stare pulled him in deeper to her as she released the second button, the third… Then he lost count, reveling in Raine’s attention.
As she pulled the last one free, she fanned her palms up his bare chest, pushing the shirt off his shoulders. He shrugged out of it, letting it fall to the floor. Liam felt his breathing accelerate, his heart start to thump.
Raine turned away long enough to check the temperature of the water and set the stopper down in the tub. She rummaged around in the cabinet and found some vanilla bath beads and some sort of oil. After pouring both into the filling water, she stashed them away again and turned her entire focus on him once more.
Liam felt it in her stare as she approached him again, then dropped to her knees. The thump of his heart became a drumbeat of a thud—hard, fast, insistent. She bowed her head, and he couldn’t resist running his fingers through the silky hair at her crown as she worked at his laces and pulled his shoes free. His socks followed.
Then she reached for his zipper.
Fifteen minutes ago, he would have thought he’d be too exhausted for this. But she’d barely touched him, and he was hard as a post. Bloody hell.
Raine dragged the little tab down. Liam held his breath as the teeth hissed in the silence, looking at her as she stared up at him, her eyes big blue pools of surrender.
His chest expanded as he dragged in a rough breath and curled his hands into fists as she eased his pants down his legs, past his feet, leaving him bare. Neatly, she folded every garment and set them on the counter behind her, then rocked back on her heels to give him another submissive glance.
“Let me double-check your bath water so I can see if it needs adjusting,” she murmured.
He didn’t really want her to leave his side. In fact, he was ready to ditch the bloody bath and give her all his attention. But her expression told him that she not only wanted to give to him now, she needed it. God knew he wanted to be on the receiving end.
He dropped his palm to her crown again and caressed her. “Go ahead.”
Raine gave him a little smile before she rose to stick her hand in the bath. After taking more than a few showers together, she knew what temperature he preferred. The fact that she cared for his pleasure, down to this level of detail, warmed him.
She fussed with the taps, increasing the heat from the faucet. Liam watched her bent and diligent in assuring his comfort. Why did that turn him on so damn much? He’d never noticed whether Juliet had cooked or bustled after him. Gwyneth hadn’t possessed a caretaking bone in her body, and he’d never missed it a whit. But for as long as he’d known Raine, the sight of her doing anything domestic for him had lit some flame inside him.
Maybe because she’d always shown her feelings for Hammer by taking care of him and he wanted the same for himself. Maybe because, despite what he’d told himself in the beginning, he’d always wanted Raine forever.
That realization set Liam back on his heels.
She turned to him. “I think it’s ready. I’ll make your sandwich.”
As Raine walked past him to swish out of the room, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her against him. His hard cock bobbed between them, brushing against her silken robe as he took her by the waist and thrust another hand in her hair, then captured her lips with his own.
She yielded to him instantly, bracing herself by clinging to his shoulders and tilting her head to accommodate his stroke inside her mouth. He tugged on the robe and pulled at her hair as he ate at her, starving for her taste. He bit at her lower lip, then seized her, gorging on the sweet, giving flavor of her kiss again.
Raine moaned, trembled in his arms, and opened herself to him. He could almost feel her working to keep her walls down. Liam couldn’t remember a time she’d ever put so much effort or heart into her submission.
Panting, he broke away and stared down into her face, her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Besides being so beautiful she blinded him, she lay so open to him in every way. It stilled his heart. With every move and touch, she stoked the Dominant need inside him.
The past twenty-four hours had been one blindsiding shock after another. This had to be the most amazing of all.
She didn’t move or say a word, just blinked up at him as if awaiting his every command.
Damn near moved to silence, he cleared his throat. “I’d like that beer now. And the sandwich.”
Raine nodded. “I’ll be right back. If you’d like to start soaking, I’ll be in to help you soon.”
Help him? Liam wasn’t sure what that entailed, but it sounded bloody nice. He could think of a thing or two he needed help with… As he glanced down at his engorged cock, he thought it might be a great idea to start there.
Shaking his head, he stepped into the deep tub with a sigh. Perfect. Raine knew him well, and he took comfort in that.
He sank back, eyes closed, and let his spine melt against the back of the tub. He wasn’t sure whether he’d had his eyes closed for two minutes or ten when he heard the water cut off.
Raine bustled over to him with a steaming sandwich oozing cheese and well toasted, just the way he liked it. In the other hand, she carried a frosty mug of black beer.
With a smile, she set both on the wide ledge of the tub. “Anything else?”
“Stay with me.”
Maybe it wasn’t a fair request at nearly three in the morning, but Liam didn’t want her to leave, couldn’t fathom spending
the rest of the night without her.
“Of course.” She didn’t hesitate. “Can I wash your hair?”
He all but sighed with bliss. “I’d like that.”
“Then I’d like to do it for you.”
As he took a bite of the gooey sandwich with a hint of crusty