I swallowed and added blush to hide my sudden paling complexion. “I agree. That would absolutely heaven, but you know how it is. Summer romances all come to an end.”
“Right.” Elena continued to add make-up, letting her doubt and accusation rest between us with just one word. She probably never believed me.
Someday I’d tell her and Jules the truth, just not tonight. I was sure, given my experience at camp, they’d forgive me and understand why I made up the romance out of my anger at Zeke. Though right now, I was having a hard time finding those feelings because Zeke had been nothing but nice since the start of the school year, which was rather odd, considering his strong dislike for me at camp. Maybe it was guilt?
Mom got all gushy and forced us into a zillion different poses for pictures. She rambled on about how later we’d appreciate looking back at the shots. She stood back with the glimmer of tears.
“Mo-om!”
“Right. Sorry.” She shook it off.
That’s when Carter waltzed down the stairs. I know he’s good looking or that’s what all the girls tell me, but when he flashed his dreamy smile with his hair slightly more combed than usual, I could see possibly what other girls see.
“Ooh,” Elena teased. “Going with Ava?”
“Of course.” He leaned in to give Mom a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back by midnight.”
Midnight? He had to be kidding? His charm must work on my parents too, because my curfew was 11pm. “Excuse me?”
Mom gave me the look that brought back the scene from last spring when I was lying to the police and then their talk with me when they sprang the whole Adventure Program thing on me. I didn’t question my curfew after that.
As we pulled up to the school along with everyone else, reality hit me that I was wearing a dress I stole from Jules’s closet. She’d most likely know this, and I was about to enter into her domain. A wave of nausea overwhelmed me.
“Um, Elena?” She looked back with the school behind her, the outside light making her into a silhouette. “I know we decided not to eat much until after the dance but I need to eat now. I’m going to run through the drive-through for some fried chicken or something.”
“Ew.” Elena shuddered. “Why would you want to enter the dance all greasy and smelling like fries?”
“No, kidding, right? Maybe I’ll just get some mashed potatoes then. I don’t want to be partway through the dance, feel light-headed and then pass out just for some guy to think I’m swooning for him. Why don’t you go in without me.”
It didn’t take much convincing for Elena to shrug her shoulders and head toward the school.
“I’ll be right back!” I said before the door slammed shut.
I sat in the silence of the car, watching kids of all ages enter the dance. The nervous freshmen were dropped off by their parents. The cocky sophomores swaggered in, thinking more of themselves than they should. The juniors, mature and excited that it was almost their turn to be seniors, strolled in; and then my class. Friends I’d been with since first grade, some I knew, some I never really talked to or tried to get to know. They smiled up at their dates, eyes glittering with excitement. My chest felt hollow like everything that had happened last spring had taken a chunk out of me, having an ever-reaching grasp, affecting tonight too. My throat ached.
Carter arrived with Ava and Jules and her crew right behind. I ran my fingers over my black dress, praying that if she noticed, she’d at least understand my desperate move.
I let my head rest against the steering wheel. After a deep, cleansing breath, I left the warmth of my car and entered the chilly air. When I entered the gym, Ava picked me out and said one thing to me.
“Nice dress.” She paused, and I waited for the real reason as to why she’d compliment my dress. I didn’t wait long. “Funny, Jules had a dress just like that she’d planned on lending me for tonight. What a coincidence.”
I let out a panicked hiccup and then walked away.
Chapter 15
The gym glittered with all the lights and hard work. The romance of it took my breath away. When I saw Michael hovering by Elena, waiting to swoop in and ask her to dance, grief squeezed my heart. Overwhelming sadness fell over me.
While trying not to gaze at Michael and silently hypnotize him to ask me to dance, I stood by the food table manned by parent volunteers and teachers. I watched from the fringes, not quite ready to take that step forward. I chatted with Mr. Troller, my English teacher before it became kinda awkward. Eventually, I just people watched. I felt like a protective bubble encased me, and I could float through without anyone noticing me or wanting them too.
No matter how many times I tried to distract myself, my gaze couldn’t leave Michael. Only I could appreciate his attire. The suit coat with patches on the elbow and pleated pants. In true nerd style, he wore the pointy ears as if he was making a statement and no one could force him to change. Another thing I liked about him.
Before parents started talking to me or before I was pegged the complete loser of the dance, I moved among my friends and classmates. When Elena noticed, she pulled me into a circle of friends. I danced, my body moving to the beat of the music. After thirty minutes passed, and Jules didn’t shine a big ole spotlight on me and announce me as a thief, I relaxed. I let myself go, and for what seemed like a brief time, reveled in this milestone.
I watched Carter and Ava argue and felt a deep sense of satisfaction. Ava was used to being number one, with boys groveling at her feet. Carter couldn’t resist dancing with other girls who batted their eyelashes at him.
That’s when Zeke strolled in looking hot in his usual way, something only he could carry off. He stood at the entrance to the gym, peering into the crowds. He craned his neck and took a few steps in, a hopeful look on his face as he searched for someone.
I ducked behind a couple grinding away, my breath stolen. I peeked again at his old school tux with tails, a bow tie and Converse sneakers. He looked way more stylish than the guys wearing a suit coat and tie, probably handpicked by their moms. Very suave and totally hot. It seemed like the more I got to know him, the better looking he became. He waited, bearing up under the scrutiny as if he didn’t care if everyone knew he arrived solo.
Maybe he was looking for me.
A bit hopeful, I edged through the crowd, my focus on him, all our time together rushing through my mind, the kind words, the emotion, the caring. I was so close, inches away from approaching him when Ava burst through and sidled up to him. Within seconds they were inseparable and he stopped looking and waiting.
It shouldn’t have bothered me because I had rejected his friendship all year even though we’d almost sort of had turned into friends, but watching Ava swing her hips and hold onto him like he was hers dug at me. Or maybe it was the realization that my time, my turn with him had passed, and I had screwed it up out of some sort of stubbornness.
I turned away, contemplating these thoughts, when my phone buzzed in my purse. I stepped into the hall to read what turned into a series of texts.
Leave the dress on the back table of the lab room.
Or I’ll tell everyone.
Ava
Goosebumps rose on my flesh. Ava knew to call at exactly the right time, when a slow song came on and when I was vulnerable. Maybe too vulnerable. Even though surrounded by hundreds, I felt alone.
If I left the dress in a classroom, I’d have nothing to wear. Instead of this tiny purse, I should’ve dragged along my mom’s purse, which could fit an extra pair of clothes.
“Want to dance?” a guy from my trig class asked.
“Um, sure.” Avoidance works, right?
He placed his sweaty hands on my waist and we swayed back and forth. I tried my best to answer his questions but his Cheetoh breath did nothing for me, and I kept thinking about how to follow the directions and not be arrested for streaking.
After the dance with trig guy, a miracle happened. It’s like I was sending off som
e kind of wave that let all the available guys know I wanted to be detained, that I desperately didn’t want to do the task before me.
Finally, I had to say no. After a glance back at Michael dancing with Elena, her blonde hair skimming his cheek, I found the courage to leave because I couldn’t handle watching that for the next three minutes. I also noticed that Ava was nowhere to be found.
Normally, Jules would be with me on this. She’d know everything. For some stupid reason I’d felt I couldn’t ask her to borrow a dress. I couldn’t tell her the truth about Zeke…or maybe I didn’t want to? Our relationship seemed normal but somewhere between last summer and Christmas, it had changed. Maybe because I kept waiting for her to tell the truth. Maybe I reminded her of her guilt. Or maybe because I’d stopped confiding in her.
I’d walked the halls of my school every day for years, but with the normal fluorescent light missing and the eerie silence thick in the air, I was spooked. The tiny click clack of my heels echoed and every few seconds I glanced behind me.
With doom weighing on me, I finally reached the science wing. I found the chem lab and slipped inside. The long black tables took on ominous shapes in the dark and everyday objects looked like men with their arms raised, ready to attack me.
Pulse racing, I froze in the quiet blackness, desperate for an answer because I couldn’t leave in the dead of winter in nothing but my underwear.
Unless.
I could stand up to her. If not, she would only continue to bug me and have her way with me.
My giving in was only making the problem worse.
My parents and Zeke would be proud. I’d be facing my problems head on and not taking any crap from anyone. What would work best? I could sit on the back table and wait for Ava, but what if a horny couple stumbled in? Or what if she peeked through the window to make sure the dress was there first?
Despite the chill in the room, I slipped out of the dress and into my teacher’s white lab coat, which gave me all sorts of heebie geebies. This was the same coat he wore every day and I wasn’t sure how often he washed it.
A thump sounded at the door and then it creaked open.
I ducked down, crouched in a ball. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Every stupid decision I made ran through my head. I could’ve begged Elena to come with me. I could’ve told Carter and dragged him along.
Footsteps sounded across the floor, nearing where I was hidden. I listened and noticed the light tap of shoes.
I popped up. “Hey, there!”
She jumped, but I hadn’t been able to make sure it was Ava. A sudden light beamed into my eyes. What if it wasn’t Ava? Whoever it was, I wouldn’t make it easy for them.
“Just so you know my dad’s a cop”—total lie—“and he loves me so if you hurt one hair on my head, he’ll hunt you down with my mom’s sharpest knives and make you regret ever hurting me.”
It was a guy! And he kept moving across the room.
“And the whole football team is on their way down here because I have connections and I told them if I wasn’t back in five minutes then to come after—”
“Cassidy?” The guy took the final step toward me, lowering the flashlight. Finally, I could see.
Zeke?
“What are you doing?” His eyes flicked over the lab coat. “And what are you wearing?”
“Oh, nothing. I stained my dress with punch and hoped to find something in here to clean it off with, but then I heard a noise, so I hid.” I tried not to groan at the lamest lie I’d ever told.
We stared at each other for a few moments, our faces lit up by his light, like we were telling ghost stories. The dim light touched on the slight down turn of his mouth, the hurt etched on his face.
He masked it quickly and plastered on a smirk. “You know, I have connections. If you really want the thrill of breaking and entering or doing whatever it is you’re doing here—all you had to do was ask.”
“Thank you for the offer, but, uh, I think I’m okay. I’ve already dabbled in criminal activities,” I shot back. “Anyway, I told you. I—”
“Right. You stained your dress.” He sighed. “I saw you leave and wanted to make sure you were okay. But I can see that you’re doing just fine on your own so I’ll go back to the dance. Sorry to bother you.”
His footsteps were fast taps across the tiled floor. With each one I wanted to pull him back into the room and take back everything. I wanted to chase after him and tell him everything, beg him to understand.
Instead I hunkered down in the back of the room, quiet as a lab rat, waiting for Ava to claim the dress.
She never came.
I spent the Christmas dance, which I’d looked forward to since seventh grade, huddled in the back of a classroom, cloaked by darkness and completely alone and feeling like crap. Yes, Mom. Like complete crap.
This whole prank thing had been a game to Ava, and the plan had been to leave me in a dark classroom, missing the dance, while she bopped around with all the guys having the time of her life.
The dance stunk, but the blackest darkness has a way of shining a light into the deepest part of ourselves, burning away all the rubble, and leaving behind the truth.
After two hours I knew I’d been played.
The second half of the year would be different.
Chapter 16
Unfortunately, on hearing from Jules that I spent most of the Christmas dance in a classroom—not sure how that rumor got spread—Aunt Lulu cracked down on me and got serious.
She turned out to be more of a drill sergeant than I expected. After endless how-to lectures on social etiquette, I was turning into a zombie or some kind of Aunt Lulu drone. I’m sure given any other life, she’d have made the perfect evil dictator who would create miniature clones of herself to do her bidding, every one perfect in a horrifying kind of way.
After every-day-after-school sessions for three weeks, Jules saved me. Aunt Lulu and I sat at their dining room table with straight backs, forks poised, chatting about everything but what really mattered.
Jules appeared at the door. A colorful scarf splashed against the perfect white of her winter coat. She glanced at me in a sad I-miss-you sort of way before forcing a smile. “Mom?”
“Not now, dear.” She waved Jules away.
I flashed my cousin what must’ve been a look of complete desperation. She’d tried on and off with some success to cut our meetings short, but in that moment she must’ve forgiven me for stealing her dress—if Ava ever bothered to tell her. Or maybe she missed hanging out as much as I did. Recently, the awkward tension had replaced any secret-sharing.
She swept into the room, a summer breeze that carried the scent of hope. “Mom. You’re doing such a great job with Cassidy. Our friends are asking why she isn’t hanging out with us.”
The smile burst across Aunt Lulu’s face like she’d just won an Oscar or something. She let out an infectious giggle and clapped. “Really? Don’t you dare tease me like this.”
Jules nodded emphatically. I nodded too, my head moving up and down like a bobble head doll.
“In fact, Mom, I’m heading out now….”
Jules is so smart in this way. She knew the idea had to be Aunt Lulu’s, so she planted the seeds and Aunt Lulu totally got sucked in.
“Well, then Cassidy. Consider your training officially over. Time to practice your new skills in the real world.” She ushered me out of my seat, her arm around me as she walked me to the door. “Now if you have any questions or struggles you have me on speed dial. Just duck into the restroom or step outside for a bit of breath air and call me. Though I suspect you’ll do fabulous, so we’ll stay in touch.” She kissed my cheek as Jules dragged me out the door and into my new freedom.
***
Jules and I chatted mindlessly about the latest gossip during the drive to wherever we were going. Basically, we ignored all the important stuff we should be talking about like smoke blasters and boys. I wanted to ask what had changed. Te
ll her that I wasn’t mad at her—okay, maybe a little disgruntled. That I understood a pact was a pact, and could we forget the whole thing ever happened? Minutes later we pulled up in front of this gigantic mansion with a front door complete with a gleaming brass knocker.
Turned out we were at Jasper’s house. The brainless, dull, classic good-looking jerky jock. We went down a spiral staircase that led to a fully finished basement complete with cushiony carpet, huge flat-screen television, air hockey table and soda bar.
“You’re gaping. Close your mouth.” Jules nudged me then burst into the room with her laughter and cheerful presence.
Ava hugged her, squealing, then noticed me. Her eyes narrowed, and I shivered under her icy glare. Ava whispered something to Jules, probably about me, and my cousin must truly be the queen bee, because Ava didn’t make one jab at my clothes or lack of style.
She went back to her newest boy toy. Carter and I had talked after the Christmas dance, and he mentioned Ava was kind of a bore and his intention was never to be tied down in a relationship. How ironic that my goal for almost two years had been to have a serious relationship and I completely failed; yet, Carter who wanted nothing more than to be the serial dater and flirt, had found himself in a potential serious relationship.
Then I happened to notice whose ear Ava was nibbling on. I choked on the root beer Jules had stuck in my hand—probably to keep me from saying anything stupid. It was Zeke, in the flesh and blood. He leaned back, laughing, his smile genuine and his whispering and attention on Ava sincere. But what did I care? After being a little stand-offish with this group, I thought maybe he wasn’t like Ava. I guess I was wrong.
Someone bumped me. “Hey, there.”
It was Jasper. His brown hair was cut clean and neat, almost borderline nerdy but somehow he carried it off. I could practically see my reflection in his teeth; and of course, what girl wouldn’t notice the dimples? When I casually took in the rest of his clothes, I noticed that he dressed a bit more geeky than Michael. He had khakis rolled at the bottom with a graphic tee and…wait for it…moccasins. Who wore moccasins?
“Want to see something cool?” He smiled, which lit up his eyes. Most girls would commit their life to him right then and there.