Chapter 8
“Mom” Cori began as they ate dinner that night “when I was in high school, did you know that Seth Reynolds hated me?”
“I knew you were not friends but you didn’t share details.”
“I really liked Micah as a friend and of course, Millie but Seth took lots of opportunities to taunt me about everything. He was friends with Roger also.”
“Seth is nothing like Roger.”
“No, he isn’t. I agree. Last Saturday as Seth was bringing me home from the reunion, he ummm doesn’t hate me anymore and in fact seems to like me maybe as a girlfriend.”
“Oh” Frances said surprised but cautious. She didn’t want to discourage Cori from confiding in her.
“Saturday night I told him to run away and to forget that idea but he didn’t do it.”
“I think I’m glad about that but wasn’t or isn’t he engaged?”
“He told me and Faith told me that he ended his engagement. I’ll have to ask again on more specifics. But even though I tried to run him off, he sent me a card and a letter that shows he likes me and doesn’t want to go away. He hugged me when I arrived in Houston and we talked some. Tomorrow, we are supposed to have some time to talk about specifically where we are heading. I never planned on relationships again. I figured it was a bad idea. I don’t want this to be bad for either one of us so should I stand firm on the run away and forget it speech I gave on Saturday?”
“There’s two parts to that answer….you should have a relationship again. Secondly, you and Seth will have to spend time together to know if it is right or wrong for both of you. Don’t make being scared a stopping block. My advice is that you are really straightforward with him on your marriage and how things were. You will have things that trigger bad memories for you and you don’t want him to pay for mistakes that aren’t his.”
“What if I hurt him unintentionally? That wouldn’t be fair to him and I would hate myself for it. Don’t we have too many obstacles to overcome?”
“What you consider obstacles may not be obstacles to Seth and vice versa. Don’t look for things to destroy a relationship if you want a relationship with Seth or at least to try for a relationship with Seth.”
“He’s been very sweet and kind to me. I don’t want him to make a mistake.”
“It may be uncomfortable for you but you’ll have to be open to hurts. But you will have to express your fears and failures as will he. You’ll have to have extremely open communication.”
“I think I should go back to counseling.”
“Maybe he should go too.”
“We live in separate cities.”
“You will work it out.”
“Are we walking while we talk or just sitting?” Seth asked as they arrived at the picnic area of Chickory Lake. He could tell that Cori was nervous as she had not spoken since her initial greeting and she watched out the window during the entire ride to the lake.
“Maybe pacing?” she tried to joke.
“Let’s walk for a while then. Can I hold your hand?” Cori offered hers and he took it and began to walk.
“Who is going to go first?” he asked when they had gone about a block.
“You and start at the beginning.” Cori answered.
He didn’t know if she meant this far back but he started in high school. “I treated you so badly in high school probably because I was jealous that you were smarter and more talented than me. I’m extremely sorry I was so immature and treated you that way. Maybe Roger wouldn’t have….”
“Hold it” she cut him off and pulled him to a stop when she stopped. Her voice showed her agitation. “Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you, Roger gets all of the blame for the things that he did. His father helped but Roger made the bad choices in life. In confidence I’ll tell you that Roger’s father puts on a great act in public but in private had no kind words for anyone and was not above showing that physically. So, your comments in high school had nothing to do with how Roger treated me. I accept your apology for high school but it wasn’t part of my marriage. Got it?”
“Got it.” He said with a smile “And you a beautiful when you are feisty.” Cori rolled her eyes at him and motioned with her hand for him to keep talking and explaining.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me.” He grumbled. “I have eyes and I know what I see.”
“Are we arguing over this or are you going to talk to me?”
“I’ll talk for now but we’ll come back to this” he grumbled. Cori laughed gently and they continued to walk. “When I saw you at my mother’s house that first time, I was ashamed of both of us that we hadn’t matured enough to even say Hello to each other. My mother hadn’t mentioned that you were in town or that you visited her.”
“She never mentioned you to me either until just a few days before you came.”
“Thank you for taking care of her for me.”
“You are welcome. She’s my friend.”
“Anyway, Mindy had received the bear from Micah and I got more than a little obsessed with finding out who made it and how to get it in my company. But, I’m not walking with you right now to accomplish that. I’ve made my pitch, you made your counter-pitch and we will go from there. We, you and me, this, is not business.”
“Good. That was a question of mine.”
“So we came here to visit Mom and saw your booth at the fair. Daphne and Isaac had a great time at my expense over that cute little bear. He really is by the way.”
“Thanks” she said embarrassed. “You really like toys, don’t you?”
“Definitely. It makes me really good at my job and I never have to grow up either.”
“You are grown up.”
“You grew up pretty nice yourself, Miss Lewis.”
“Flirting with me, Mr. Reynolds?”
“Unquestionably, Miss. Lewis.”
“Go on with what you wanted to say.” She said.
“At the fair we didn’t speak either and I didn’t think much about it until that night when Isaac questioned me about you and our years as neighbors. He asked me why I acted so horribly to you in high school and he asked me if you had really changed that much or had I acted like a fool in those days. I admitted that I’d been a fool. I told him about the list of insults you created for me.”
“That was payback and I should have never done that.”
“Micah thought you were spectacular that day. I was majorly ticked off.”
“So was I.”
“Back to my story, when I found out that you owned that cute little bear, I was floored. I was sure that you and I would make a good team and I totally didn’t think our high school problems would be an issue. I was going to save you and make you part of Beaches and you would be forever grateful.”
“Keep dreaming, friend.”
“You were totally professional and turned me down. Within twenty-four hours, you stopped being professional for me and I became really confused. I was engaged, I was supposed to be thinking of Daphne and our wedding. I’ll come back to her later.”
“I do have questions about that.”
“The day we came and Mindy ended up in your painting class, I don’t think there was one minute of that day that you were not occupying my thoughts. I wanted to know why Hannah’s House? Why here? Why, why, why? Isaac asked me about Daphne and I couldn’t answer him. When he found the newspaper article that you were going to be in Houston to talk, we made plans to attend. I’m glad we did.”
“I stayed home from work that next day and again, Isaac came to my rescue so to speak. I was enraged at Roger. I had been his friend, but I didn’t know he was slime. He set aside tickets for Micah and I to go to a game in Seattle. I had no idea that you were married to him. When he came here to play, we went out after the game.”
“Seth, stop for a minute.” Cori said calmly. “I’m going to admit I know this so you can speak freely. We have lots
to talk about regarding my marriage and if we are thinking of a relationship that may lead somewhere you will have to hear things that will not be easy. I know you came to Seattle and I know you went out after the games he played here. I know he had other women with him at the time. He was very proud of that fact. I’ll quote him “I can have any woman I want in any city and there isn’t anything you can do about it.” He never kept his affairs a secret from me, he was proud of them.”
“Cori, I’m so sorry.”
“It isn’t an apology that you need to make.”
“I feel like it is.”
“Go back to your story, please”
“Isaac asked me what I wanted and I knew the answer wasn’t Daphne anymore. I want to be with you.”
“Because of my past? Do you just feel sorry for me?”
Seth stopped walking and cupped her face in his hands very gently. “No. I want a future with you and not as just friends. You are amazing. You are beautiful, kind, loving, smart, caring, compassionate and strong. I want so badly to kiss you.”
Cori smiled and nodded. Seth didn’t hesitate and touched his lips very softly to hers. “That wasn’t enough but I’ll hold off.” He said resting his forehead against hers. “Where was I?”
“Tell me about Daphne.”
“I broke off our engagement that same day. She was glad, she had realized that she didn’t love me either. We were friends. We never had passion or ummm sex. Moving along to the reunion, I was glad you came and I’m glad I got to talk to you. I didn’t like it that you told me to go away. I didn’t then and I don’t now, want to go away. So I came up with the idea that you might read letters if I sent them to you. Maybe I could convince you that I wasn’t the jerk from our past. Maybe you could learn to like me and take a chance with me. Will you?”
“Seth, until I tell you more of my story, you should be careful. What I have to tell you isn’t pretty and if you want to forget this conversation, I’ll understand. We can get along as former neighbors if you want to then and we can still maybe do business together.”
“Tell me whatever you want to tell me.”
“I re-read my notes from Houston so I remember most of what I said that night but I will share some other things. I have many regrets and have learned many lessons. I go to counseling or I went to counseling and I’m going to resume it. If we decide to be a couple, you’ll need to go too.”
“Okay, I won’t mind.”
“I said in my talk that the first time Roger struck me was about four hours after the wedding. We were beginning to do the things that most couples do on their honeymoon but ummm” Cori paused and took a deep breath but looked away from Seth “I wasn’t ever going to tell this to anyone but a counselor.”
“Please tell me.” He said with much emotion. “I’ve wondered, I want facts.”
“He couldn’t perform. He blamed me and that’s why he hit me. It really was just one time that first time and he did apologize but it did happen again. The intervals varied, the reasons varied - I existed in his neat little world. I was not allowed to work outside of the home. No friends, no visits back here or them to come there. Excuses after excuses kept my parents and John from knowing. I got really good at them. I’m just glad I was already here when my father passed away, I’m not sure he would have let me come to the funeral.”
“What did you do with your time?”
“Can’t you guess?”
“You drew?”
“I drew. I have sketch pad after sketch pad of bears, lions, tigers, rabbits, snakes, squirrels or any other kind of animals that I could make into something cute. And when I couldn’t think of anything to draw, I wrote.”
“I get it. The books with the animals you sell now.”
“Yes. They are modified somewhat but yes.” Cori shrugged but continued her stories “this was the one thing he couldn’t take away from me but he tried.”
“Dammit” Seth swore “he smashed your hand to stop you from drawing.”
“He did” Cori confirmed. “The only reason he relented and took me to a doctor was because I begged and pleaded and gave him what he wanted” Cori paused “in bed” she said very quietly. Seth thought he was going to be sick to his stomach. He stepped away from her before he raged at a dead man.
Her heart sunk. She watched him knowing that he would now go away from her. It’s over and it didn’t even begin. His face for the brief instant before he walked away showed his disgust at me. There’s nothing left to do but leave him be because he won’t want me now. Cori turned and started towards the car. As she walked, she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Faith.
“Hey Cori”
“Hi. I’m at Chickory Lake, can you come get me?”
“Yeah but why are you out there?”
“Seth and I were having a talk. It didn’t go well.”
“Oh Cori, I’m sorry. I’m on my way.”
“Thank you.” Cori described where she was to Faith then went and sat down behind a tree. She was going to keep it together until she reached her apartment. As she sat, she watched the birds flying and the squirrels scampering across the ground from tree to tree. There was a few fisherman out on the lake and she watched one of them pull up a fish. She heard a twig snap and knew someone was approaching her.
Cori began to speak first to avoid any further conversation. If he tried to make excuses she was going to break down and the seemed unacceptable right then. She didn’t need his pity. “I have some presents for your mom and Mindy in the bag in your car. If you could give them out, I’d appreciate it. Faith is on her way to get me. Go home, Seth. Forget about everything but making sure your mom gets well.”
“Is that what you really want?” he asked softly
“Yes, it is.” She answered bravely.
“It isn’t what I want.”
“I’m too selfish to care about that. That’s the new me. I only do what I want to do. I don’t care about other people and what they want.” Cori was surprised when Seth’s laughter was so enthusiastic.
“Try selling that story to someone else” he said “if you want someone to believe your lie you will have to live it.”
“I am living it. I’m living it right now. Go away, go home. Run like I told you too.”
“No, I won’t.”
“Then I will do it for you. Goodbye, Seth.”
“You haven’t finished your story.”
“Use your imagination if you need to think about it. But be smart and just forget that I ever existed.”
“I won’t do that either.” He stated fiercely. Before Cori could respond, she saw Faith’s car approaching. She stood up and began the walk towards it. “Cori, don’t go.” He called after her. He ran after her and captured her arm gently. She pushed it away but didn’t speak. “It is not fair, I can’t even get mad at you.” Cori didn’t acknowledge him or his comments. She opened the door on Faith’s car and climbed in. Faith left the lake a few seconds later.
Chapter 9
The next week Cori tried not to think about Seth or anything but Warm Comforts and Hannah’s House. She worked at the house on the crisis line and gave her mom some extra breaks and took over some of her work. At Warm Comforts, she did her routines but no one received any extra words from Cori. When there weren’t any issues that she needed to deal with, she continued working on her drawings and the pattern for what might become the bear for Beaches Toys.
On Monday morning, Seth had tried to reach her but she ignored his call so he called John. John relayed his message that his staff liked the ideas she had. Cori thanked John, told him the specifics of what she wanted in the contract and then told him to handle the negotiations. Since she didn’t like that part anyway, that was nothing new to him.
Millie received several phone calls from Cori but it was when Cori thought Seth would be at work. Millie did not ask Cori about Seth and Cori ass
umed it was because Seth had already told her what had happened. In actuality, Cori didn’t care why Millie didn’t ask, she was just grateful that she didn’t.
Frances, Cori’s mother, did ask but Cori told her that Seth was going to run like she told him in the first place. When Frances questioned her more, Cori said “when I told him part of the story he turned away from me and I felt like dirt. I won’t do it again. My life is Hannah’s House and Warm Comforts. Other than a little bit of business which John can handle, I won’t think about him anymore.”
Seth may have written emails but Cori didn’t turn the computer on for that reason. He sent a few letters but Cori just tucked the away in her purse then at night she put them in her diary but never read them. Since he himself had programmed her cell phone, his name came up when he tried to call her but it always went unanswered.
At Hannah’s Crafts, Cori would arrange Teddybearville like she wanted it and had conversations with Faith on business. But Faith didn’t ask her about Seth. On the way home from the lake, Cori had said that when she told Seth about her hand that he had turned away from her and that it had been devastating. She didn’t blame him but she wouldn’t do it again. Cori kept up with whatever work she needed to do but she rarely slept and she barely ate. When she thought of new foods for the restaurant, she sampled them but that was about the most that she ate and her family was beginning to be concerned about her weight loss.
Frances invited her over for dinner every night but Cori ate very little and she never smiled. Faith asked her to go to the movies but Cori had work to do.
The incident with Stan at the reunion had been handled by Stan pleading guilty and getting community service. Cori didn’t care about that either when people she knew asked her about it, she shrugged and said it was fine with her.
At about three weeks since she’d seen Seth, John had brought her a contract to sign with Beaches Toy Company. She signed it and wrote a quick note to Seth that the bear was drawn and the pattern was in progress. She was professional and thanked him for the opportunities he had given her.