I sat quietly, politely, waiting for him to continue.
“I brought you to work to give you two presents.”
Phew, he truly didn’t forget.
I tried to hide my eagerness. I knew how to camouflage my true feelings. I might be a child, but I was born an heiress and had been taught to act unaffected in every situation—good or bad.
“Look to your right.”
I obeyed, reaching out to touch the black binder that always rested there. Dad would bring it home with important documents inside then take it back to the office with yet more vital paperwork. I was never allowed to touch it unless he was around—and only then to bring it to him.
I hesitated as my fingers ghosted over the soft leather.
He smiled. “Go on, you can open it.”
I pulled it toward me and cracked it wide. There, like all the other times, were white, crisp pages scarred with multiple black lines of adult jargon.
“What does it say at the top?” He popped his middle blazer button and perched on the side of the desk. His long frame towered over me but not in a bad way; more like a willow tree where I liked to curl up and nap in Central Park on the rare days Dad did nothing.
“Last Will and Testament of Joseph Mark Charlston.” My eyes raced to his. “Dad...you’re not—”
He reached out and patted my hand. “No, Bell Button. Not yet. But one can never be too careful. Up until last week, my Will and Testament left the running of our family’s company to Steve until you came of age. However, I never felt comfortable bequeathing such responsibility to someone outside the Charlston family.”
I gnawed on my lip. “What do you mean?”
He pulled a pen from the small gold holder on his desk. “It means I’ve had it revised. I have no plans to leave this world early, so don’t worry about that. And you, my dear, are beyond intelligent for your age, so I know you’ll take all of this in your stride. Your education about our processes, factories, and employee structure will be accelerated, and when you’re ready, you’ll become CEO, and I’ll step down.”
My mouth fell open. That sounded hard. When would I have time to go to school and make friends other than the staff in the makeup department where I hung out when he worked late?
But how could I say no? I was all he had. He was all I had. We had to stick together.
My heart lurched, needing confirmation he wasn’t going to leave me, despite his assurances. “You’re not dying, though?”
He shook his head. “Never, if I had my way. This isn’t meant to scare you, Elle, but to show you how proud I am of you. I won’t deny that it will be so rewarding to hand over this legacy sooner rather than later, knowing with all my heart you will take it to even greater heights than I ever could.” He passed me the pen. “Initial each page and sign.”
I’d signed enough contracts even at my young age to know how to do it. Stocks that he’d put in my name; a house he’d purchased in some state I’d never heard of—even a limited edition painting that came from an auction house in England.
Bending over the paperwork, I curled my fingers tight around the pen, ignoring the sudden shakes. This was no different from all those other documents, yet it was so much more. This was my life. This was more than growing up and celebrating a birthday. This was every day, every moment, every final say that would manipulate me until I was Dad’s age. I didn’t have the luxury of figuring out if I wanted to be a doctor or an astronomer. I’d never go to the Olympics as a swimmer (even though my instructor said I was more rock than dolphin). I’d never be anything more than Noelle Charlston, heiress of Belle Elle.
My heart beat with a strange squeeze as I placed the pen on the paper.
“Oh, wait a sec.” Dad pressed the intercom to connect him to his receptionist. “Margaret, can you come in, please?”
Immediately, a pretty, middle-aged redhead entered and came forward. Weekends were no different from weekdays in this company. “Yes, Mr. Charlston?”
“I need you to act as a witness.”
“Sure.” She smiled at me but didn’t say anything as I flipped through the seventeen pages and initialed each, then took a deep breath and signed my name. The moment I’d finished, Dad grinned and spun the deed to Margaret. “Your turn. Sign in the witness box, please.”
I passed her the pen.
She took it. “Thank you, Elle.”
My nickname (not Bell Button—which remained a mystery on how it came about. Dad said it was something to do with how much I loved buttons when I was little, and bell rhymed with Elle) reminded me how I’d been named in a roundabout way for the first wife of our company. The woman who’d created an empire beside her husband until he’d died of pneumonia, and she ruled on her own for forty more years. Elizabeth Eleanor—the original Belle Elle.
Scrawling her signature, Margaret passed the contract back to my father.
He signed in the last box with utmost concentration and an air of relief.
“Is that all, Mr. Charlston?” Margaret asked.
“Yes, thank you.” Dad nodded.
She gave me a small wave, before retreating to her adjoining office, leaving Dad and me alone once again.
He looked up from signing, his older eyes meeting mine. His face fell. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
I shrugged, doing my best to seem carefree and not think about how big of a throne I had to fill. “Nothing’s wrong.”
He frowned. “You look...afraid.”
I am.
I’m afraid of a world where you’re gone, and I’m in charge.
I’m afraid of not being the daughter you think I am.
But he could never know that. This was my duty. My birthright. No matter my age or experience, I knew enough to know my existence was always destined for Belle Elle.
I smiled. “I’m not. This is just my face.”
He chuckled. “All right, ‘just your face.’ Seeing as giving you our legacy for your birthday—ensuring you’ll forever have wealth and stability—isn’t a present to get excited about, look under my desk.”
Happy butterflies replaced the fearful moths in my belly. “You mean...there’s more?”
His eyes twinkled with fatherly love. “Of course, there’s more. Now look.”
I scooted the chair back and glanced between my dangling legs. Tucked against the back was a box tied with a big purple and silver ribbon.
The fear of responsibility and the weird obligation of having my life already mapped out for me vanished. I bounced in the chair. “You got me a present!”
He bent over and kissed the top of my head. “You’re my entire world, Elle. I’d never forget the day you came into my life. And I would never dream of making you sign stuffy documents without giving you something fun for your birthday.”
“Thank you so much!” I beamed, impatience to open my present stampeding through me.
“You don’t know what it is yet.”
“I don’t care. I love it already.” My eyes latched onto the box, desperate to see what it was.
He took pity on me. “Go on, open it.”
I didn’t need a second invitation.
Plopping off the chair, I crawled on all fours beneath his huge desk and tore eagerly at the ribbon. It fell away, pooling on the carpet. Cracking the lid, I peered inside.
The gloom beneath the desk made it hard to see, but then a tiny gray face appeared.
“Oh!” Full body shakes quaked through me as excitement and adoration exploded. “Oh! Oh!” I reached into the box and pulled out the cutest ball of fluff I’d ever seen. Falling onto my butt, I cuddled the kitten close. “You got me a cat?”
Dad appeared, pushing his chair away and ducking to my level. “I did.”
“But you said I couldn’t have any pets. That we were too busy.”
“Well, I changed my mind.” He turned serious. “I know the responsibility I’m putting on you, Elle. I know all of this is hard to figure out when you’re barely starting life. And I’m so
rry you don’t have the freedom some of your friends do. I’ve been strict with you, but you’re such a good girl. I thought I’d better give you something you actually wanted for a change.”
I cuddled the kitten harder. It didn’t squirm away or try to swat me like the cat in the pet store did when I snuck in on my own one day while Dad was distracted. This one purred and nudged its head beneath my chin.
Tears sprung to my eyes. Love billowed and overflowed. Somehow, I loved this little bundle as much as I loved my dad, and we’d only just met.
Gratefulness quickly overshadowed the love, and I placed the kitten on its feet, crawled as fast as I could toward Dad, and barreled into his arms.
“Thank you.” I kissed his rough cheek. “Thank you!”
He laughed. Wrapping me in a tight embrace, he smelled so comfortingly of lavender soap. The same soap Mom used to make and stank up the house with while cooking a new batch.
“Thank you so much. I love him.”
The kitten padded toward us and mountain climbed onto our joint lap.
Dad shook his head. “It’s a girl. She’s twelve weeks old just like you’re twelve years old.” He unwound his arms as I plucked the little kitten and buried my face in her sweet smelling gray fur.
“What are you going to call her?”
I frowned, taking the question seriously. “Silver?”
“Silver?”
I kissed her head. “Her fur looks like silver.”
Dad chuckled. “Well, it’s a perfect name.”
“No, wait. Sage.”
“Sage?”
“I want to call her Sage.”
He didn’t need to know I remembered most of the herbs and aromatherapy oils Mom used to make lotions and soaps. Sage was the last herb she’d given me a lesson on, and the leaves had a silver fuzz over them. Whenever I thought of that day, Mom felt closer and not so far away in Heaven.
I nodded firmly with my decision. “Yes, her name is Sage.”
He gathered me close again, kissing the top of my head. “Whatever you decide, I hope she looks after you, like you’ll look after her.”
I rubbed my nose against the kitten’s cold, wet one, shivering against the weird sensation. “She will. She’s going to come to work with me every day.” I hunched, cradling my new best-friend. “Is that okay? Can she come to work with me?”
Dad’s face fell again. What he said was true. He was strict with me, but he was strict with himself, too. He missed Mom just as much as I did. Did he think I wouldn’t love him as much now I had a pet?
I reached up and touched his sandpaper cheek. “I love you.”
Light returned to his gray eyes. He hugged me tight on his lap, our little trio squishing into one entity for a second. “I love you, too, Elle. And you don’t have to ask if you can bring Sage to work. She’s yours. As long as she’s not on the shop floor, you can take her to the offices and do whatever you want.”
I sighed in happiness as Sage navigated the cliff-top created by our legs. “You’re the best dad ever.”
His smile faded, the joy of the moment lost as he shook his head. “I’m not, Elle. I know I can never replace your mother and I know I’m asking so much of you to pick up the mantle of this company so young, but I love you more than anything, and I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”
His words were heavy for a twelve-year-old. And they remained heavy even years later.
That birthday was ingrained into my memories for two big reasons.
One, I would never be lonely again thanks to Sage being in my world.
And two, Dad knew what he was sentencing me to and did it anyway.
I thought Belle Elle already owned me.
I was wrong.
Chapter Two
SEVEN YEARS LATER
WHO KNEW TURNING nineteen would be such a sad day?
I sniffed back a stupid tear as I inputted end-of-the-month financial figures into the spread-sheet to prepare for the M.M.M.—also known as the Monday Morning Meeting.
I’d been at the office since seven thirty—just as I had every morning since I left high school at sixteen. I’d left because I’d learned all the generic life hacks the teachers had in their arsenals and didn’t have the time, or the need, to go to university before my birthright gobbled me up entirely.
Belle Elle was my university, and I’d been attending nights and on weekends my entire life. As far as my knowledge and skills went, I was capable of running this company even before I hit twenty.
My father had made sure of it.
I was no longer a lonely little girl craving the freedom of her peers. But a resigned young woman who carried the livelihoods of thousands of staff upon her shoulders. It was up to me to ensure Belle Elle ran smoothly and made a profit to fill the pay packets and make sure employment continued.
My hard work and long hours were rewarded with positive yields and exciting business expansions. I earned satisfaction from new contracts and cheaper production costs. I’d never been to a party or acted out because work began too early to stay up late.
I lived and breathed merchandise and balance sheets.
And I’m fine with that.
I knew no other life. I had no right to feel so trapped. I had an amazing father, an incredible future, and everything I could ever want. I’d been given so much, but the price of such power and greatness was the removal of so many things I’d never enjoyed.
I’d never had friends because who wanted to hang around a geek who didn’t know how to play? I’d never walked around the city on my own because the world was far too dangerous. I’d never gotten into trouble or done anything reckless. My days were surrounded by bodyguards, drivers, and managers.
The girls I knew from school only pretended to like me when I gave them discounts on dresses and shoes. In fact, the week before junior prom, I’d suddenly become the most popular girl in school, only to hear them whispering in the changing rooms at Belle Elle about how much they were saving thanks to lying to my face about friendship and the discount I’d given them.
And the boys were afraid of me because I spoke like an adult and crunched real-time spread-sheets in math rather than solved the basic algebra equation on the whiteboard.
I was never alone but forever lonely.
If it weren’t for Sage, I’d probably have run away by now. But I couldn’t leave her, and I definitely couldn’t leave my father.
They needed me.
Everyone needed me.
Thinking of the little fluff ball made her appear. The sleek, pretty cat hopped up onto my desk, deliberately knocking over the old Tic-Tac holder full of paperclips. She swatted it again for good measure.
Instantly, the stress of the day and ache in my back from hunching over a desk for too long receded. “Hello to you, too.”
She meowed, her cute gray face scrunching up as if she disapproved of me working past dark once again.
Ever since Dad gave her to me, she’d never left my side. The only time she wasn’t with me was while I was at school, but seeing as that was over a few years ago, she was now my silent silver shadow. She traveled on my neck like a living scarf and trotted after me when I hosted meetings with men three times my age—who tried to trip me up and belittle me at the start of my reign. They soon learned I might be young, but I knew this company better than any of them.
Belle Elle was my mother, my best-friend, and boyfriend.
It was my world.
Taking off the black framed reading glasses I’d taken to wearing after staring at a laptop for hours at a time, I scooped Sage up by her middle and dragged her onto my lap.
She purred loudly as she head-butted my chest. I kissed the back of her neck, nuzzling into her. Her fur was as soft as spun moonlight; her purr the only thing that made me shed the constant feeling of anxiety and despondency.
“You know how I feel, right?”
She purred louder.
“Am I a horrible person for feeling trapped?”
/> She pulled a face.
“I do everything that’s asked of me. I take over more and more elements of the company with no refusal. I love my father with every bone in my body. I’ve dedicated my life to making him proud. I have self-worth, wealth, and the knowledge that I’ll never have to ask for anything.” I pressed my face deeper into her fur, doing my best to stem the unwanted self-pity. “So why do I feel so lost, Sage? Why can’t I shed the idea so much more is out there besides work?”
She meowed, jumping from my arms to my desk and walking across my keyboard to scatter qwerty keystrokes in boxes where only numbers belonged. I tried to get mad, to yell at her because she’d just caused another ten minutes’ worth of work to delete her tampering and ensure the numbers I’d inputted were still correct.
But I couldn’t.
Because work was my life, and life was my work. I had nowhere to be, no one to see—nothing demanded anything of me but Belle Elle.
“Maybe that’s my problem?”
Sage flicked her tail.
“Maybe I need to forget about work for a change and do something completely different.” Standing, I moved toward the floor-to-ceiling glass windows and looked upon New York below. Twinkling lights, cars, and pedestrians appeared and disappeared beneath streetlights like different bugs—some large, some small—but all of them moving with purpose.
What would it be like to be down there with them? To wear jeans (gasp) and eat food from a street vendor (oh, no)? To be on my own, rather than watched by a driver and bodyguard.
Don’t I deserve to know what else is out there before I give up everything?
Today, I’d turned nineteen.
I was old enough to have sex but not old enough to drink. I was old enough to run a billion-dollar company but not old enough to wander alone in a city promising such adventure.
My fingers flew to my neck, clutching the beautiful sapphire star necklace my father had presented me with this morning. We’d both been pressed for time but he’d sent the cook away, and together, we’d whisked up buttermilk batter and created a mismatch of blueberry pancakes before he gave me my gift.
It’d been a wonderful morning, and I’d treasured his company, the pancakes, and my necklace, but I couldn’t help feeling like something was missing.