“Larry,” Penn growled under his breath. “Remember our discussion.”
Larry waved him off, taking my elbow and escorting me toward the bar and away from Penn. “This is a charity function. Every year Penn hosts it. He has since we started working together.”
“Working together?”
Larry nodded as if it was perfect knowledge. “I’m a lawyer. My firm needed a helping hand, and Penn offered. He’s smart with a quick tongue. He traveled with me to many cases—even helped provide the legwork on research when I got sick. However, while I was in recovery, he turned his hand to the stock market.”
His eyes focused on a memory with pride. “He invested in a small penny stock. With his luck, it should’ve tanked. But it didn’t. For the first time, he was rewarded for his risk and the stock took off overnight. He used the profits to inject into this charity and to day trade the same companies we took to court on behalf of some of its victims.”
There were tangles and knots in his revelation that I couldn’t work out. I needed a quiet room where I could write down what he’d revealed and mix them around on pieces of paper until I could rearrange them into comprehensible order.
“And what is the charity for?”
Larry beamed like any happy parent. “Homeless children, of course.”
I slammed to a stop.
Homeless.
Nameless...
My strappy heels pinched my feet. “What did you just say?”
Larry noticed my sudden pallor. His face fell. “He hasn’t told you yet. Has he?”
All I could manage was a shake of my head.
I felt sick.
I felt elated.
I felt terrified.
His face softened, looking over my shoulder as the electrical presence of the man I’d forever associate with heartache appeared. He’d lied and twisted my mind. He’d hidden honesty and made me crazy. He stopped me from learning anymore by interfering with our conversation.
Larry bent into me, murmuring, “I’ll tell you this, then the rest is up to him. He was homeless himself. It’s his way of giving back—to help other kids having a really hard time in life.” Patting my arm, he said louder as Penn sidled close, “I need a refill. Anyone else?”
“No.” Penn shook his head, wrapping his arm around my suddenly trembling body. “I think you’ve done more than enough.”
Larry merely shrugged, unapologetic.
I glanced up, taking in Penn’s profile. The way his jaw was sharp and strong and no longer covered in an unkempt beard. The way his eyes lightened and darkened depending on his mood but remained the same hue as the man in Central Park. How he’d asked me if I trusted him. How he had the same habit of jamming his hands into his pockets. How he’d kissed me with chocolate...
Oh, my God.
It’s true.
My knees wobbled as Penn muttered under his breath, “We’ll be right back.”
I gave a weak smile to Larry, falling into Penn’s fast stride as he guided me through the jostling ballroom.
I couldn’t tear my eyes off him. Forcing my brain to overlap his appearance with that of Nameless. I started seeing things that weren’t there. Or believing in things that had been there all along.
I couldn’t decide.
Without facts or declarations or any confirmation at all, I tripped into the teenage crush I’d never escaped from. I was stupid. I was hopeful. I was blind.
A woman placed herself in our path, smiling coyly at Penn while ignoring me entirely. “Oh, Penn. Fancy seeing you here.” She simpered. “Do you mind if I borrow you for a moment? I have a question about the Triple Segment Securities you recommended last week.” She flicked her dark brown hair. “I want your expert opinion.”
Rage and jealousy clawed me.
If Penn was Nameless, he was mine.
He’d been mine for three years.
I’d only just found him and now she wanted to take him away?
No.
She can’t.
Disappointment and confusion followed as Penn sighed heavily and let me go.
Whispering in my ear, he commanded, “Leave the ballroom. Head to the first-floor restaurant. You’ll see a family bathroom. Meet me there in five minutes. What I need to tell you should be done in private.”
“But I’m not tipsy.”
His gaze hardened then saddened. “It’s too late. You need to know. I can’t fucking lie anymore.”
I shivered as he let me go.
He gave me one last eternally long stare then walked away with the woman, leaving me with fantasies and fears and a joy I never dared believe in.
Chapter Thirty-Four
I MANAGED A few shaky steps toward the large archway that I assumed led toward the hotel foyer and a staircase or elevator.
I hated leaving him. But I wanted answers more. He’d promised he’d meet me. I had to trust he wouldn’t forget or disappear without fulfilling that promise.
Hopefully tonight, I’ll finally know.
The fear that he’d run and I’d never see him again escalated the further I traveled. I didn’t see Larry or anyone else I recognized.
I reached the threshold of the ballroom.
A gray bullet collided into me.
My arms flew out for balance, steadying myself and the kamikaze who’d run into me. I blinked as recognition flowed. “Stewie. Are you okay?”
He smacked his lips, nodding distractedly. “Yeah, sorry for running into you.”
“Don’t worry about it. As long as you’re good, it’s fine.”
He nodded, his face tight and not the usual happiness I’d grown used to. “Yep, all good.” He pushed past me to join the throng but something sparkly fell from his pocket.
Something blue.
Something that didn’t belong in a boy’s possession.
He didn’t notice, fighting his way past adults as I ducked and plucked the silver necklace from the ballroom floor.
My heart stopped.
The world closed in.
I couldn’t breathe.
In my hands sat the very thing I’d lost the night Nameless had saved me. The sapphire star glimmered under the bright strobes of the hotel, the white gold chain snapped in half where one of the muggers had yanked it off my neck.
I stumbled, crashing into a man who cursed as a splash of his orange cocktail tipped onto his silver tuxedo. “Hey!”
I vaguely remembered how to apologize while my mind was no longer here but there.
Back in the alley.
Back where it all began.
In an awful twist of fate, Stewie looked back, his gaze latching onto the necklace dripping through my shocked fingers. He slammed to a halt, looking around feverishly as if searching for Penn. Hoping to undo this minor, inconsequential action that’d ruined all Penn’s lies. Destroyed his stories. Revealed every fact.
I’d believed in a fantasy.
And it’d just crumbled into dust.
I know the truth.
The awful, terrible, sickening truth.
Coming toward me, Stewie sheepishly held out his hand. “Can I have it back?”
My fist curled tightly around the chain. “This is mine.”
“No, it’s not.” His forehead crinkled. “My brother gave it to me.”
My heels were no longer stable or capable of holding me up. I swayed. “Your brother?”
Penn’s voice entered my head, sounding far away. “Larry is family. Stewie will be his adopted son soon. Which will make him my brother.”
No.
If Penn gave Stewie my necklace...that meant he couldn’t be my tragic hero.
He couldn’t be my savior.
He couldn’t be Nameless.
It’s not possible.
This can’t be happening.
Nameless had never retrieved my necklace.
I’d never asked for it back.
The last I’d seen it was in the alley, ripped off my neck, and pocketed by thugs.
My heart palpitated, threatening to faint.
Don’t let it be true...
Only two scenarios existed as to who Penn could be.
The sapphire had shortlisted them.
My life had made a mockery of my heart.
The truth laughed in the face of my moronic trust.
My voice struggled to stay low so as not to attract attention when all I wanted to do was scream. “Why?”
“Why?” His face crunched.
I swallowed hard, pushing down my heart where it hyperventilated in my mouth. “Why did your brother give you this necklace? It’s not something a boy would normally play with.”
He scuffed his shoe on the ballroom floor. “I’m looking after it for him.” His eyes blazed. “I would never play with it.”
“You didn’t answer me, Stewie.” My panic made me sharp. “Why do you have this?”
His attitude prickled. He crossed his arms. “Because if he was caught with it, his sentence would’ve doubled.”
My legs turned to liquid.
My knees to chocolate mousse.
“What sentence?”
His lips thinned. “I dunno if I should be telling you this.”
“Yes, you should.” I moved forward, towering over him, commanding my fingers to stay locked around my necklace and not reach for his throat to strangle the answers from him. “Tell me, Stewie. Tell me right now.”
He puffed out his cheeks, as if doing his best not to reply but unable to ignore the order from an elder. “His prison sentence, all right? He got done for robbery. He asked me to keep it, so they didn’t have evidence.” Fear turned his face red. “I know I should’ve hidden it somewhere, but I liked it, okay? I like blue, and I like stars.” He kicked the floor. “I want to be an astronomer when I grow up. I know it’s girly, but...I love stars.” His hand came up. “Give it back.”
My body obeyed before my mind caught up.
In a daze, my arm reached forward. My fingers opened, letting the sapphire slip from my grasp to his.
I was numb.
I was dead.
Two choices.
Two men I’d cursed their very existence.
Two men tried to rape me.
One man had succeeded.
But it wasn’t rape.
It was consensual.
It was wanted.
He’d stolen more than just my necklace but my innocence and goodness too.
How could I move on from this?
How did I ever come to terms with what he’d done?
Who is he?
Which one?
Stewie clutched the evidence of Penn’s heinous crime. He didn’t wait for more questions. He didn’t even thank me for returning what was rightfully mine.
Taking off, he vanished into the silver throng, leaving me destroyed and heartbroken.
Truth was a fickle thing. I’d believed I wanted it. I’d begged and cursed and demanded to receive it. And now that I had it...I wanted nothing more than for it to delete what it’d caused and choose a different ending to the one I’d been given.
I’d gone from euphoric joy believing Penn was Nameless to finding out my worst nightmare.
Penn wasn’t Nameless—the boy who’d protected and kissed me in the park.
He was one of the muggers who’d tried to rape me.
They’d known my name from my I.D badge.
One of them had come after me.
I’m going to throw up.
Chapter Thirty-Five
I RAN.
How could I not?
I didn’t know what was worse.
The fact he’d lied so effortlessly. Or the fact I’d believed—that despite being so dishonest—he was a good person underneath.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
He was a thief, a rapist, a scam artist.
And he’d successfully used me for whatever mind games he wanted to play.
He’d lied from the moment he’d coerced me into saying yes at the Palm Politics. Any truth I thought I saw in the split seconds of tenderness were rust-covered and full of counterfeit honesty.
Oh, my God.
How could I let this happen?
Tears gathered like vinegar in my eyes, stinging with disbelief.
The taxi bumped through the arteries of the city, carting me away from Penn and his empire of fibs. I hadn’t called David because I didn’t want anyone who knew me to see me like this. See how far I’d fallen.
My cheeks still glowed from limousine sex. My dress rumpled. My hair tangled. My lips red from throwing up in the hotel bathroom before bolting to the street and hailing the first cab I saw.
I didn’t wait for Penn to confirm the hideousness of Stewie’s revelation. I didn’t meet him at our rendezvous for yet more lies. I could never have sex with him again.
I clamped a hand over my mouth, holding back another wash of nausea.
I slept with him.
I climaxed with him.
I have—had—feelings for him.
The vinegar in my tears pickled my insides, fermenting my heart, marinating my blood until my entire body turned acidic.
I just wanted to get home, shower away his touch, and sleep so I could forget what I’d done and who I’d done it with.
I couldn’t think about who Penn was.
I couldn’t let my mind poke at such appalling conclusions.
It’s not real.
I can’t let it be real.
The drive took forever, but finally, the taxi dropped me outside my building. Climbing unsteadily from the cab, I refused to think about what explanation I’d give for breaking off the engagement. Why I’d inform security that Penn was no longer permitted to step foot inside Belle Elle. Why I would get a damn restraining order if he pursued me.
How would I tell Dad that the man he believed was suitable—the successful entrepreneur who pretended to be an old-world romantic—was truly just a clever deceiver?
Thank God, I never told him what happened that night in the alley. Thank heavens, I kept the robbery and almost rape a secret because he would hunt Penn down and kill him for being one of those men who’d tried to take me.
A man who successfully got what he wanted in the end.
I swallowed a sob.
I only had myself to blame. I should’ve dug deeper into his past. I should never have trusted him.
Entering the exclusive foyer of my building, I swatted at a tear that had the audacity to roll and marched to the elevators.
The doors opened immediately, and I climbed in. My heart plummeted, remembering Sage wouldn’t be there to patch up my worries or lick away my hurts like normal. She was with Dad. Safe and secure.
Not like me whose world has just imploded.
My awaiting apartment was suddenly a cold, lifeless entity as the elevator zoomed me skyward. I wanted nothing more than to return home to the brownstone where Dad refused to decorate over Mom’s last designs and constantly lived in the past with a broken heart.
Would that be me now? Had Penn ruined me for others? Had his lies destroyed whatever trust I had in men? How could I ever tell anyone I willingly slept with a man who’d tried to rape me three years prior in a dirty alley?
Stop.
Just stop.
I can’t...I can’t think about it anymore.
Unlocking my door, I kicked off my heels and headed straight for the sleek white kitchen. None of my lights were on, leaving the view to speak for itself as the skyscraper-filled horizon twinkled with bright orbs of light. The illuminated buildings seemed so happy, sheltering their chosen families. So sarcastic with their comforting glow.
I hated them.
Padding toward the pantry, I pulled out a bottle of wine I occasionally cooked with.
I never drank. But tonight was a night of firsts, and the liquor in my belly from a few champagne sips weren’t enough.
I needed to drown every memory before they became long-term recollections. I needed to reset my life,
so tomorrow I could be free.
Tipping the bottle, I swigged tart shiraz straight from the glass.
“Wow, I never thought I’d see the day.”
The masculine voice terrified me.
Gulping my mouthful, I spun in the kitchen, facing the open plan living room. A figure sat on the leather couch.
He tutted, shaking his head. “Pity. I thought I’d be the one to drive you to drink.” Greg chuckled then stood. His deliberate slowness reeked of mayhem and hazards.
He smiled coldly, his dark blond hair swiped back off his face. “Hello, Elle. Tough night?” He stalked toward me. “Should’ve gone out with me instead—like I said.”
I froze; the wine bottle became more than just liquid friendship but a heavy weapon. “What are you doing in my apartment, Greg?”
This wasn’t the first time. He’d been here for dinners and birthdays—even last Thanksgiving when I’d stupidly said I’d host it and burned the turkey. But he’d never been here alone, and he’d definitely never let himself in uninvited.
“How did you get in?”
He cocked his head. “The doorman. It’s handy already having a relationship. It’s allowed me to do things I wouldn’t have been able to do if we were strangers.”
What things?
My toes curled into the tiled floor, begging to run while I told them to stay put. I couldn’t show weakness. This was my house. Mine.
“You’re trespassing.”
He sighed. “I was worried about you.” He dragged a finger over the kitchen bench. “I wanted to make sure you got home safe and that prick didn’t try something when he dropped you off.” He grinned. “He doesn’t deserve to fuck you, Elle.” His face tightened. “I do.”
I brandished the bottle. “You deserve to get your ass thrown out of my apartment or arrested. I’d prefer the latter. Now, get out.”
He shook his head, smiling. “Yeah, see? That’s where you’re wrong, Elle. I deserve what I’ve worked so hard to get.”
“You haven’t worked hard your entire life. You’ve coasted by on your father’s goodwill and mine.” I narrowed my eyes. “In fact, showing up here just gave me credible reason to fire you. Consider yourself unemployed.”
I steeled myself for his retaliation.
I expected an outburst. A strike.