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  We were on the other side of a thin wall. Sami spun around the doorway and fired her AK47 at the soldier, practically cutting him in half. Two more soldiers burst through the front door. I blasted them before they even saw me. Outside, there was a massive explosion.

  The last soldier had thrown a grenade inside our pickup. The back was full up with the pistols and ammunition. The bullets cracked off one after another, like a firework display. ‘Did you see where the last soldier went?’ Sami asked. I shook my head, ‘No.’ ‘Don’t let him get back to their car, Killer. We’re sixty kilometres from camp. I don’t know about you,

  but I don’t fancy walking home.’ I ran out the front door, shielding my face from the heat off the burning pickup. There was no key in the ignition of the Nissan, and no sign of the soldier either. Me and Sami walked around the building in opposite directions, fingers on triggers, looking for him. The heat got so bad, the exposed roof timbers of the house started burning. Flames flashed across the whole roof in about thirty seconds. I sprinted into he hallway and searched the pockets of the two soldiers I killed for the ignition key.

  The smoke was getting bad. The ceiling was starting to crack and looked like it could collapse on us any second. ‘Got the key,’ Sami screamed from the kitchen. I ran into the kitchen. Our eyes met over the old lady. She’d managed to crawl across the floor and

  prop herself against one wall. I don’t think she’d even realised there was a fire. ‘Grab her legs,’ Sami said. We carried her out of the building. I opened the back door of the Nissan and we slung her across the seat. She can’t have weighed more than thirty kilos. Sami climbed in the drivers side and started the engine. A burst of automatic fire ripped off as we reversed onto the road. I fired back at nothing in particular. The roof timbers of the house collapsed, crashing through the first floor and sending clouds of dust out of every window.

  The tyres screeched as Sami accelerated off down the road. The Nissan had a lot of grunt and the giant wheels gave a much smoother ride than the pickup. I leaned over the centre console and switched on the air conditioning. ‘This is a much better car,’ I said. Sami practically bit my head off. ‘Do you think this is good, you idiot?’ ‘We’re alive, that’s all I know.’ ‘For now, Killer. But everyone within twenty kilometres will have heard that blast. We could have army

  coming towards us from all directions.’ ‘Oh,’ I said. Sami grimaced, ‘That’s all you’ve got to say? And we’ve lost the pick-up.’ ‘It was a piece of crap; and we lost the guns in the back, but there’s hundreds of guns in the store room

  at camp.’ ‘Captain’s messages from Casino’s group.’ Sami said. ‘What about them?’ ‘Were they that important?’ I asked ‘You can ask Captain yourself, right before he gets Don to whip your arse.’ As soon as she mentioned Don, I started to get nervous. ‘It was intelligence,’ Sami said. ‘Details of who’s raiding what and where. Information about other parts

  of the war and what supplies are coming through. And on top of all that, there’s Grandma in the back there.’ ‘What are we gonna do with her?’ I asked. ‘What we should do is chuck her out of the car and let the leopards eat her. But my conscience isn’t up

  to it. Do you want to do it?’ ‘No,’ I said. ‘Besides, she might know more about what happened to my brother.’ ‘She might,’ Sami said. ‘But Captain isn’t exactly going to welcome her with open arms.’ ‘Can’t you sweet talk him? He is your Dad.’ ‘That counts for something,’ Sami said. ‘But it’s not gonna get us off the hook.’

  . . .

  Kids usually exaggerate: I’m in so much trouble, my Dad is gonna kill me, so I thought Sami was probably laying it on a bit. Was she hell.

  As soon as he found out what happened, Captain made us sit in his office in the darkness. The sun had only just gone down. It felt like there was no air and the heat was unbearable. He made us sit dead still, with our backs straight, ankles crossed and our palms flat on the table in front of us. Don sat behind, breathing right in my ear. Captain placed a gas lamp on his desk. As he spoke, he heated a metal teaspoon over the flame. ‘The explosion must have been very loud,’ Captain said. ‘Are you sure nobody tracked you back here?’ ‘I drove really fast,’ Sami said. Captain pressed the hot spoon against the back of Sami’s hand. She gritted her teeth as her skin sizzled. ‘Daddy, please, let me explain.’ ‘Don’t you dare call me Daddy. When you take command of a mission, all our lives depend on you. When you make a mistake, I cannot allow my affection to get in the way. You must be treated the same as all the others or I will lose their respect. Do you understand?’ ‘Yes Captain.’ Sami sobbed. Captain looked at me, ‘You said the pickup was burned and that there was no way my documents

  could survive.’ ‘Yes,’ I said. Captain moved the hot spoon over my hand, so I could feel the heat. I was shaking so bad I couldn’t

  breathe. ‘Is there a chance that the papers were removed before the car was detonated?’ ‘I don’t think so.’ Captain pressed the spoon against my hand. I could have moved my hand away, but I’d have got

  something even worse if I had. ‘Answer my question accurately. Could you see the pickup from the moment the soldiers arrived until

  the vehicle exploded?’ I shook my head, ‘No.’ ‘So my documents could have fallen into enemy hands?’ ‘Yes, I suppose’ Captain looked at Sami, ‘Why didn’t you go back and try to kill the fourth soldier, when he might have

  the documents?’ ‘I made a judgement,’ Sami said. ‘I don’t think he got the documents and we could have both been

  killed if we’d gone hunting for him. I think it was the right decision under the circumstances.’ Captain nodded, ‘On balance, I agree. It seems unlikely the documents were stolen… Now Sami, I want you to think carefully and tell me everything you did wrong. ’

  ‘I should have obeyed your orders and driven straight back to camp,’ Sami said. ‘I should have taken your documents with me when I left the car. I shouldn’t have brought the old lady back with us. I should have gone into hiding overnight in case anyone was tracking us.’ Captain nodded, ‘Do you think you deserve to be punished for this?’ ‘Yes,’ Sami said quietly. ‘Of course I do.’ ‘What about you Jake?’ Captain asked. ‘What did you do wrong?’ I couldn’t think what to say. The end of the spoon was getting so hot the metal was turning orange. ‘Sami was in command,’ Captain said. ‘Did you disobey any of her orders?’ ‘No,’ I said. ‘Was it your idea to go and look for your brother?’ ‘Partly,’ I said. ‘It wasn’t,’ Sami said. ‘Jake didn’t even know we were near to where we found him.’ Captain quickly dabbed the back of my hand with the spoon. Don laughed in my ear as the smell of

  my burned skin wafted upwards. ‘Never lie to me,’ Captain shouted. ‘Mistakes are understandable and will be punished lightly, but I

  cannot tolerate liars.’ ‘No,’ I sniffled. ‘It was Sami’s idea.’ I felt really bad that all the blame was getting put on Sami. ‘So,’ Captain said, looking back at his daughter. ‘Am I correct in saying that Jake did nothing wrong

  that wasn’t because of an order from you?’ ‘Yes,’ Sami said. Captain flicked me away with his hand. ‘In that case Jake, you’d better go.’ ‘It’s not fair for Sami to get all the blame,’ I said. ‘It’s at least partly my fault.’ Captain looked at me coldly, ‘It’s very noble of you to defend my daughter. But the matter is closed

  and I want you to leave.’ I walked to Amo’s hut, to get the burns on my hands treated. Amo had washed and fed Grandma and dressed her in a set of clean camouflage that was way too big for her. She was sleeping in the back of the hut with Becky curled up beside her. ‘Did you get any beats?’ Beck asked. ‘No. Captain says it’s all Sami’s fault.’ Beck laughed, ‘I hope she gets whipped.’ I dived inside the hut and grabbed Beck by his t-shirt. ‘Do you want a punch in the mouth?’ Amo pulled me off him, ‘Cool it boys. Beck, that’s not a nice thing to say.’ Beck shrugged, ‘I got beaten when Edo died. Sami laughed.’ ‘Show me your hands,’ Amo said. She look
ed at the oval marks under her gas lamp. ‘It’s nothing much,’ Amo said. ‘It’ll sting for a couple of days. Stick your hands in cold water if it starts to hurt.’

  . . .

  Sami was in with Captain for another hour. I walked to the water barrel and listened at the office door. I couldn’t understand what was being said, but Sami was definitely crying. I went back to our hut and waited in the darkness.

  When Sami came in she was all stiff shouldered. She sat on our sleeping mat and pulled off her boots, without saying a word.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘For what?’ I shrugged, ‘Everything.’ She unbuttoned her jacket, threw it on the floor and laid face down on the mat. Her back glistened

  with blood. There were six deep welts where she’d been whipped. I reached for my gun. ‘I’ll kill him,’ I shouted. Sami grabbed my arm, ‘Don’t be a moron.’ ‘What kind of Father does that to his daughter?’ ‘Don’t you get it?’ Sami shouted. ‘He’s right. We broke orders and took a stupid risk. We could have been tracked back here. They could have killed everyone. Not just the fighters, but Amo and Beck and all the little kids as well.’ ‘But what good does whipping you do?’ ‘If you’re stupid, you get punished,’ Sami said. ‘It’s called discipline. The commander we had before Dad took over this unit would have smashed all our fingers for a stunt like that. If Dad wasn’t here, Don would run the unit. Do you think you would have walked out with a couple of little burns if he was in charge?

  ‘You’re right, I suppose. It just doesn’t seem fair. You tried to do something nice for me and you got punished.’

  Sami smiled, ‘Don’t worry about it. I stopped expecting anything in life to be fair the day I came home from a piano lesson and found my Mum’s head cut off and stuffed in the kitchen sink.’

  . . .

  Sami kept sobbing from the pain. Neither of us could really sleep that night. ‘I’m not going without you,’ I said. Sami had been dozing off, ‘What?’ ‘You know earlier, in the village? You said you’d be sad if I left.’

  ‘Yes.’ ‘I’m going to find Adam. Then I’m going to find a way out of here and you’re coming with me.’ ‘OK,’ Sami said, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. ‘I swear on my life. I won’t go without you.’ Her hand glided gently over my thigh. ‘Maybe none of us will ever get out of here,’ Sami yawned. ‘Try and go to sleep. I’m sick of thinking about stuff.’

  13. FISH

  All the rebel leaders had code names. Captain, Blink, Dickens, Sunflower and Casino were the ones I’d heard of. Messages went back an forth all the time. When someone went off to meet with another group, gossip always travelled with the messages: who’d been killed, where the mercenaries were, who was shagging who. I’d never met any of the people they spoke about, but I’d heard so much about them, it felt like I did.

  At afternoon briefing, Captain announced he was having a face to face meeting with Casino and Sunflower in a few days time. It almost certainly meant a big raid was going down. Everyone reckoned it was linked to the rebel push we kept hearing about.

  Everyone sat in their normal spots under the trees, tossing around theories about what the mission might be. Nobody would admit to being scared, but you could sense it in people’s voices.

  . . .

  Grandma spent all day sitting under a tree watching the world pass by. The baggy camouflage with rolled up cuffs and ankles hung off her like a clown suit. She’d been motionless for hours, with an insect covered orange resting in her lap. She seemed happy and I was proud we’d rescued her. It was the one decent thing I’d done since I got here. I crouched in front of her. ‘Do you mind if we talk now?’ I asked. She smiled, but didn’t open her eyes. ‘It’s a big joke to them,’ she mumbled. ‘They spat in my food.’ Sometimes Grandma made sense. Other times she mumbled out of control, trapped in her own

  nightmares. ‘The man who took my brother,’ I said. ‘What was it you called him?’ ‘The fish soldier,’ Grandma said. ‘The most beautiful silver fish.’ ‘Why didn’t you hide Adam from him?’ ‘I couldn’t keep Adam safe. Fish soldier could.’ ‘Do you know what base he would have taken my brother to?’ ‘He came to see me with fish. He didn’t hurt me like the others. It’s a big joke to them.’ Grandma started to cry. She slumped forward and I put my arm around her. ‘I asked them not to hurt me,’ she sobbed. ‘It made them laugh when I cried.’ ‘We won’t hurt you here. You’re safe now.’ ‘You and Adam are nice boys. You wont hit me, will you?’ I took the half eaten orange out of Grandma’s lap and replaced it with a fresh one, then I wandered into the trees to Sami. She was depressed and didn’t want to sit with the others. Her cuts had scabbed over, but she was still in pain and ashamed that she’d lost the messages. ‘Got you an orange,’ I said, kissing her on the cheek. ‘Fantastic,’ Sami said sarcastically. ‘All my problems are solved.’ ‘Does your Dad have a map?’ I asked.

  ‘What of?’ ‘Around here; like where all the military bases are. I want to work out what base the soldier who took

  Adam came from.’ ‘Sure he’s got a map. But there’s loads of roadblocks and bases.’ ‘It’s a start though,’ I said. ‘Will you help us look for Adam?’ ‘Why not?’ Sami said. ‘It’s only everyone’s life you’ll be putting at risk. Plus Grandma’s half off her

  rocker. This whole fish thing is probably just in her imagination.’ ‘She remembered Adam’s name.’

  ‘I suppose.’ ‘I’ve got to try and find him. I bet you’d keep looking if it was Edo.’ ‘See Captain,’ Sami said. ‘He might have some ideas.’

  . . .

  I waited until Captain went off to smoke a cigar. I stood in front of him, not sure if I was going to get yelled at. ‘How’s Sami?’ Captain asked. ‘Pretty upset.’ ‘I don’t like being a tough guy, Jake. But I’m in charge of a bunch of kids with guns and grenades. You

  need strong discipline or we end up fighting ourselves and getting killed.’ ‘Sami knows that,’ I said. ‘I feel guilty she got punished when she was helping me.’ ‘She’s got it for you, big time,’ Captain said. ‘I suspected as much the first day she dragged you back

  here.’ I smiled uneasily, ‘She’s beautiful.’ ‘My wife was sixteen when I married her. Sami looks a lot like her.’ ‘That’s young,’ I said. ‘It’s not like in Europe. A lot of girls out here get married at fourteen or fifteen and have a litter of kids

  by the time they’re twenty.’ Captain took a long drag on his cigar and stared up at the sky. ‘Sami was such a sweet kid before the war. Very feminine: dolls, prams, all the girly stuff. I remember her going to her first party. I got her one of those dresses with angel wings on the back. You couldn’t get her to wear anything else. Her Mum had to wash and dry it after she went to bed, so she could put it back on when she got up the next morning.’ ‘I can’t imagine her like that.’ ‘Anyway,’ Captain said. ‘They say nostalgia is a refuge for the weak minded. What is it you want?’ ‘What makes you think I want something?’ ‘Because you can’t look me in the eye, you’ve got your hands in your pockets and your trainers scuffing in the dirt. It’s common knowledge that if you want to ask me for something, I’m always in the most relaxed mood when I’m sitting on this rock smoking.’

  Captain might have had a psycho thing going on, but you couldn’t help admiring his intelligence. I told him what Grandma said about the fish soldier. ‘Soldiers don’t go fishing,’ Captain said. ‘And they never travel alone.’ ‘You think Grandma’s lost the plot?’ ‘Not necessarily. I’d bet a few dollars that the man who took your brother away is a deserter.’

  ‘What’s that?’ ‘There’s a lot of bullying and cruelty in the army. Some soldiers can’t hack it and run away. Most deserters try and find their way home and end up getting caught, but a few go native. They hide in the jungle and live by hunting.’ ‘So you think Adam’s probably safe?’ ‘The soldier was regularly bringing fish to Grandma, so it sounds like he’s a caring person who’s not short of food. He’s probably built himself a decent shelter. It’s not an e
asy life out there, but tribes have survived in the jungle for hundreds of thousands of years.’ ‘Do you think we’d be able to find them?’ I asked. ‘We know he brought her fish, which doesn’t stay fresh long in the heat. He probably lives near to the water, or spends most of his time there. If you looked on the map, found the nearest decent sized river or lake to where Grandma lived and spent some time poking around, there’s a chance you’d either find where he lives or see him by the water fishing.’ ‘Can I go and look for him?’ ‘After the explosion and the house burning down, that area will be crawling with army for the next few days. But I did promise that if you fought for us, I’d help you find Adam. Every report I’ve had says you’ve shown courage and done good work. We’ll give it a week for things to calm down, then I’ll let you and Sami go up there and take a look.’

  14. MONEY

  The rumour was, Casino lived in grand style in a secret camp that had electricity and running water. Some claimed he received deliveries of weapons and luxury goods by helicopter, paid for out of a personal fortune stashed in an overseas bank. It’s hard to say what was true and what was tenth hand myth passed around on hot afternoons. One thing was for sure, Casino got good information from his network of spies and all the other rebel groups relied on it.