He grasped my knees and eased them apart, slamming into me fast, without warning. I was so wet and ready. A light bulb somewhere above my head exploded. His chest was next to mine, and energy convulsed through our naked bodies. Nathaniel was moving inside me, staring into my eyes. I panted, arching my hips as he moved faster, saying my name. I expanded for him, as he continued thrusting, plunging into me, losing control. His face twisted and his fangs extend with a silent gasp.
He pressed his lips to mine, his greedy mouth took possession as he pushed himself harder, until I gasped and moaned. I tried to match his rhythm, panting, but he was taking control, driving me to the edge. It wasn’t long before we both came, climaxing as our bodies slammed into each other, our breaths hard.
I fell asleep in his arms for a minute or two before he rolled me over underneath him, whispering into my ear that he would keep me up all night to prove that he truly was in love with me. He wanted to possess my body, leaving his scent on every inch of my skin. Then his hot mouth was on my wetness, and his tongue drove me wild and the throbbing between my legs kept pulsing. He didn’t stop until dawn, even when I begged and pleaded. He was master of my soul, even though I thought this love was tainted by other people’s pain.
My room started vibrating all over and waves of energy were thrumming through my whole flat, crushing glass. But we couldn’t stop. We both were starved for each other and wanted to chase away the gloom.
I couldn’t remember how many times I came, but he never stopped, arousing me with himself, pumping magic out of me constantly. His lips brought back memories that I tried to push away.
When I opened my eyes the next morning he wasn’t lying next to me. I was all alone and he was gone, but his scent was all over me, so I knew that this wasn’t just one of those dreams. I was again the cheating girlfriend.
I should have known that if I called him to my apartment to talk we were going to have sex instead. Quentin was coming over tonight and I had to confess my sins. There was no point dragging this out any longer.
I was afraid to tell Kate. I respected her and dealing with her disappointment would only make my life more miserable. On the contrary, Kelsie would probably congratulate me first for seducing Nathaniel. After that she would probably yell. I had to take responsibility for what I did, but I had to talk to someone, and the only other person was Nicky.
‘I’m cheating on Quentin. I’m sleeping with Nathaniel again.’
A couple of people on the street looked over at me, but I didn’t stop walking. I was on my lunch break from work. For a minute or so there was a silence on the other side of the phone. My pulse was racing and I clenched my teeth waiting for my friend’s judgment.
‘What did you just say?’ Nicky asked.
I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. ‘You heard me, I’m cheating on my perfect, loving boyfriend with my ex-boyfriend, who is engaged to someone else,’ I repeated.
I didn’t expect Nicky to start shouting or crying, but she was totally silent, this wasn’t the reaction that I was expecting.
‘How did this happen? I mean you are pranking me right?’
Then I went on and started explaining how I bumped into him in the gallery first, then on the street, then outside my apartment.
Nicky told me straight to end this before anyone else got hurt. ‘Oh my God, Julia, he is doing this to you because you are unavailable. Giving you all this bullshit about love because he knows that nothing is going to happen between you two.’
‘I was going to do that last night, but then everything went wrong when he started taking his clothes off and before I knew it we were having steamy sex, again!’
‘Meet with him in a public place and talk to him. I know that you still love him and all this time you wanted to hear him say–’
‘Nicky I’m going to tell Quentin tomorrow. I can’t do this. Nathaniel and I are screwed up. I’m better off alone.’
‘You have to do one thing at the time. Julia, I’m your friend and I’m not judging you, but you are a fool. Nathaniel was never available. He has commitment problems. I can’t tell you what to do, but you will know when to make the right decision.’
I thanked her and promised that I would also sort something with Ella. I couldn’t use the excuse with the virus anymore. Ella wasn’t too bright, but she wasn’t that stupid. I had to see her and tell her about the blackouts.
I felt a little better because I got this off my chest, but I had to get a grip and call off this stupid affair.
I went to work that day with daunting feelings in my mind. The day at the agency wasn’t one of the easiest and Nathaniel kept sending me emails saying that he was planning to talk to Meredith soon or tonight. I panicked and emailed back saying that we wouldn’t want to make any hasty decision.
This is what you always wanted. Me and you together as a couple. I love you and I won’t stop fighting for you!
I covered my head with my hands trying to understand how I got myself into such a horrible situation. Yeah, I wanted him and I still loved him, but not like that, not through other people’s pain.
A few vampires arrived asking me about work at La Caz company. Throughout the night I tried to erase the images of Nathaniel and me, but his name was everywhere. The night we spent together was so vivid in my mind that I didn’t even know when I was walking through a dream or reality.
In the early hours in the morning I left the agency and stepped into a dark night, wondering what to do. I always promised Dad that I would take a taxi, but tonight I felt like I needed to clear my head and just walk. The streets of Croydon were deserted and I knew that this was stupid, walking into the night alone with unpredictable magic after the night with Nathaniel. He triggered it, but I needed some space. I wanted to dig a grave for myself because I felt so incredibly guilty sleeping with him behind Quentin’s back.
For a few minutes I was completely lost in my thoughts, but I heard steps behind me. In a moment of deja vu, I turned around expecting some junkie.
‘Let me tell you Julia, this was silly,’ said an unfamiliar voice. Thoughts and feelings began racing fast and I considered running, but it seemed like my legs went numb. No one was near me. I was alone. Then out of nowhere Tron appeared, knocking me off my feet. Somehow I didn’t fall on my bum, because he caught me.
‘Oh My God, are you insane? Do you want to me have a heart attack?’ I shouted as my heart pounded at abnormal speed.
‘You are really testing your magic now. You shouldn’t be walking around here in the middle of the night.’
Tron was like my father, intense and always worried.
‘I needed to clear my head. I’m really tired and I was just on my way home.’
‘It’s time for another session. The vampire was with you last night. Your power is unbalanced and you need to practise. I thought you wanted to stop blacking out.’
Oh God, this is embarrassing. Why does he have to read me so well?
I was glad that it was dark because heat crept over my cheeks. Tron was doing well humiliating me.
‘I don’t think I’ll be any good right now. I’m not focused and I have a lot of my mind.’
‘Nonsense, you’re stronger than you think. La Caz, the vampire, he not only infects your magic but he also calms it in some respect,’ Tron muttered. ‘Let’s go, we have a long drive ahead of us.’
I opened my mouth to protest, knowing that I had to get some sleep at home before my next shift, but Tron shook his head. He silently let me know that there was no point arguing with him. His limousine was a few blocks away and reluctantly I got inside. He didn’t talk to me while we drove and I remained silent, although I wanted to know what he planned for me tonight.
I must have dozed off because all of a sudden I was wakened by Tron and we weren’t moving anymore. The clock on my phone showed just after 4:00 a.m. I finished work a bit early today, but it was going to be a while before the sun rose.
‘So, is anyone going to tell me where a
re we?’ I asked as we sat in the car. We weren’t in the city anymore, and outside there was just blackness, shaded by trees.
‘I am hoping that you can cast a very specific spell, Julia. It’s complicated, but I’m certain you are capable of doing it,’ Tron said, stroking his chin. His eyes shimmered with excitement.
‘Care to explain more?’ I asked.
‘Pulsing. I would like you to start pulsation charms,’ he muttered without giving me any more details. I pinched my eyebrows together with the expression that I still had no idea what he was talking about. However, he was already getting out of the car.
‘What the hell is pulsing?’ I asked.
‘Always so impatient,’
Tron’s tone of voice calmed me down a little, but I was curious to know what he wanted me to do. He made me stand further away from the car, and a couple meters away from him. This whole idea was outrageous, but his thoughts were calming me down.
I walked through the wet grass until he told me to stop. Sparks started flying through my fingers and tingling in my back was apparent, getting stronger as the seconds passed. My magic was calm when I was in the car, but now all of a sudden I was getting these impulses, streaks of colours all in front of my eyes.
‘What is going on, Tron?’ I asked, staring at him.
‘I want you to pulse your magic and create thunder and lightning,’ Tron requested, leaning over the limousine.
My head was splitting with the surging energy. I looked at him wondering what the hell he was talking about. Fairies were the only creatures that could produce this sort of power. I was only half elf, and most of the time I didn’t even know what I was doing with my lethal energy.
‘You are kidding me, right? I can’t do this,’ I said, creating a ball of light that stayed with me for couple of seconds. ‘I can’t create pulsation, not with my unsettled energy.’
‘Julia, Julia, stop showing weakness and concentrate. Focus on pulsing your energy away from your body.’
I wanted to laugh out loud, knowing he was only teasing me. This was my punishment for not sticking with the training and sleeping with my ex behind my current boyfriend’s back.
Not arguing anymore, I closed my eyes and started talking to myself, imagining the pulsing energy. My skin was hypersensitive, but I imagined warm rain on my skin, dense, steamy air that I felt like just before a storm. The silence was stimulating and I felt the wind on my skin, as waves of ticking energy jetted over my body. I had no idea what I was doing, but at this point I had to let go. My pores were closed, tingling and burning, increasing my heartbeat. I stretched my neck, hearing Tron’s voice nearby. His words seemed far away, but when my breathing became laboured I pushed my magic away. My feet left the ground and I spread my hands, opening my eyes. The small pulses started cracking through—and then it started raining. It was a light rain at first, but then it got heavier and soon I was soaked right through.
‘Julia, don’t open your eyes.’
It was Tron again and this time his voice reached me, and I was ready to respond when I opened my eyes and saw lightning. The roaring sound of thunder followed through, shaking the earth underneath my feet. As I dropped my hands, everything stopped and silence started ringing in my ears. Taking long pulls of air, I had this thrilling feeling in my chest. My power was gone, but I had just brought up thunder and lightening all by myself.
It took me a moment to get back on my feet, but when I did I saw Tron standing by the limousine staring at me with a staggered expressions on his face.
‘What? What’s wrong? I thought that you wanted me to do this.’
Tron snapped out of that dreamy look and approached me. ‘Your first pulsation; you are learning fast,’ he announced proudly.
I wiped the sweat off my forehead, shaking my head. ‘I think you helped. I don’t think I could do this myself,’ I stated, laughing.
’Julia, you are more powerful than you could ever imagine. Stop isolating your magic. It’s been years. It’s time to let go of those insecurities and embrace—’
‘Hold on, so what are you saying? That I did this? I called out the storm? No, that is impossible,’ I whispered, looking at Tron with utter disbelief.
‘You always had it in you, but you never believed much in yourself.’
I felt as if fireworks exploded in my brain. My chest wasn’t tight anymore and the guilt that I’d been carrying with me kind of eased. Okay, I still felt pretty crappy about sleeping with my ex, but I was pumped, knowing that with this sort of power I could gain control of my blackouts.
‘What does this mean?’ I asked, pacing around. ‘Will my blackouts stop? Will I stop hurting other people now?’
‘Yes, as long as you keep practising, blackouts shouldn’t occur anymore. It’s all about releasing that excess energy, but your visions are keeping me up at night. Keep using the potion and the Latin spell. I’ll let you know if I get anywhere with my research.’
My body felt as if I’d just gotten injected with an unstoppable source of lightning power. I could visit Ella now. I didn’t have to lie to her anymore. There was at least one positive outcome from Tron’s lessons.
On the way back I kept asking about the next steps, worrying that maybe this was one time only, feeling that if I couldn’t get my blackouts under control my dream would become a reality and my mother would die. Tron assured me that the blackouts occurred because I condemned my magic, afraid to use it, but as a fully grown elf I had to release it. He said that as long as I continued to cast charms and train, I could keep my energy in shields. That was good enough for me, even after that day that I had.
Chapter nineteen
Crap, crap, crap. Why does this keep happening to me?
‘What do you mean that you don’t know how long we’re going to be there?’ Quentin asked when he picked me up on Sunday afternoon. His close friend was hosting an auction for some well-known painter and Quentin wanted to go. He hoped to buy a very rare painting that he’d searched for quite some time now. I agreed because I wanted to talk to him, looking for the right moment to break the news of how I cheated on him.
A couple days passed since the meeting and my extraordinary performance of magic. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Quentin the truth. Whenever I tried to talk to him, he kept showing me the brochure with the apartment that he wanted to rent for both of us. In the end I gave up, waiting for the right moment—knowing that I might never get one.
‘Couple of hours max, it’s a great opportunity for you to network. I’m sure your regional manager would love to hear about all these contacts that you manage to gain during one Sunday afternoon,’ Quentin said, smiling widely.
‘Okay, you might be right. I need to get out and socialise,’ I muttered.
My head wasn’t in the right place. Nicky gave me great advice. She trusted me to do the right thing, so I had to tell him before someone got hurt. Before I shattered all his dreams. He deserved to find a woman who shared the same passion and didn’t cheat.
‘I was thinking, since our romantic weekend away was disturbed, we should go away again. I promised that I would make it up to you and I’ve seen an amazing deal to go to Greece,’ Quentin suggested once he stopped the car in front of a large semi-detached home. We were outside London, somewhere in Canterbury near my grandmother’s home. I was weighing my options, imagining how he would react if I admitted that I slept with someone else. In all my scenarios Quentin walked away. I couldn’t expect him to just to forgive me. I was the girl that he wanted to create a future with, not a girl who was sleeping with her ex, and who was probably a killer.
You have to tell him, right here, right now!
‘Quentin wait, I’ve to tell you something before you go in there with me.’
‘I know what you are going to say,’ he said, tightening his hands on the wheel. I felt like a bucket of ice cubes cascaded down to my stomach. Air in the car thickened, making me nauseous.
‘You do?’ I gasped.
‘Ye
ah, you think that the next trip is going to be all about the business,’ he said ‘Don’t worry, I’ve planned everything already. The next trip will be all about you. But we can’t talk about this now, people are waiting for us, right?’
I sat there speechless, breathing deeply. How could I just say that I was a scumbag without hurting his feelings? I looked at his brown eyes, plastering a smile on my face.
‘Yes, you’re right, let’s go.’
Crap, I’m pathetic. I should be burning in hell.
The house looked as I imagined: wooden floors, white furniture, expensive paintings and a lot of wealthy people nibbling on fine food and drinks. A few of them started greeting Quentin. I pretended that I was happy as usual, wondering if there was a chance for escape, but someone shoved a drink into my hand, and I had to follow Quentin and greet his friends. He was in heaven, admiring and talking about all the antiques.
‘Quini, there you are. I thought that you wouldn’t make it,’ said an obese troll in a white suit. He didn’t have any neck and as he approached I kept asking myself how he managed to kill off the normally outrageous smell that was so characteristic for trolls.
‘I promised to show up, so here I am, ready to bargain over that painting from nineteen sixty.’
‘And this must be your girlfriend, the famous Julia Taylor.’ The troll beamed. ‘I’m an old friend of Queni’s, Joshua Preston.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ I said, hoping that no one would recognise me here, since I’d dated Nathaniel La Caz, a pharmaceutical tycoon that half of those people probably knew. People didn’t forget the gossip that he broke my heart, and the fact that we broke up again the second time around. I shouldn’t have come to this party. It was a bad idea.
The three of us talked a little and then I stopped by the buffet, scanning the place carefully. My stomach was growling as I stuffed my face, thinking intensely about my confession.
I knew that I should have brought Kate with me. She would have known what to do. We were here for an auction that started half an hour later. My magic came on the alert again and I was sure that this time it was because I was in the company of paranormals. Witches, wizards, fairies, elves and other creatures were at this party. I could smell spells in the air, gracefully hidden by two witches who were giggling by the stairs.