‘Where do you think you are going?’
Nathaniel stood at the door, staring at me with a composed expression on his face. His hands were in in his pockets and he was wearing a suit. A surge of energy rolled over my back, making me aware of his presence. I should have known that he never left the hospital.
Chapter twenty - nine
Absurdity? What is she talking about?
‘Hi,’ I said, pulling the sheet over my legs. He walked over to my bed and sat on the chair.
‘How are you feeling?’ he asked, eyeing me intensely.
‘I’m better than I was. How about you?’
‘Getting there.’
Then there was a short silence between us. Nathaniel tightened his jaw breathing calmly, but anger radiated out of him.
‘Julia, do you even realise that you could have died?’
‘Yeah. I’d given up. I don’t even remember how I got out of there.’ I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut, bringing back flashes of memories from that night. I wasn’t sure if I dreamed about Nathaniel rescuing me from that fire, or if it was just my imagination. He exhaled, his nostrils flared, his hazel eyes narrowed.
‘I was worried about you so I hired a few people to keep an eye on you,’ he said, eyeing me intensely. ‘That was before you threw me away from your office.’
‘We were destroying each other, Nathaniel,’ I added, still thinking that I made the right choice.
’I asked them to follow you everywhere and I got concerned when they saw you with that wizard, your ex, on Oxford Street. You hated him, so this didn’t make sense, and I asked them to follow you, but Jasper lost them pretty quickly. They couldn’t explain to me what happened. In one moment they were following his car and the next you guys disappeared. I was slowly losing my mind. I had no idea if you were safe.’
I smiled to myself. Jasper knew that we had been followed, but he never said anything. Now I had no idea if he was alive or dead. Nathaniel continued to talk.
‘I paid them enough, and with a little help they tracked you back down to your parents’ house. They told me that you arrived there with a shifter, but apparently you weren’t in any distress. I told them to keep an eye on the house, to report to me if they saw anything out of the ordinary. For a long time I didn’t get anything and my patience was running out. I made some phone calls, wanting to speak to the elf that trained you, the one you told me about. Trust me when I say this, it wasn’t easy to find him, but I got lucky and managed to bribe someone in exchange for information about him.
Once I got to his house he nearly threw me out. After some convincing, I asked him about you. Apparently he had no idea about your recent blackout, Julia. You didn’t tell him about your encounter with Gordon, so we both got worried. Then I got a phone call from the guys who were watching your parents’ house. They reported the signs of fire. I ordered them to get you out of there, but magic prevented them from entering and they couldn’t help you. When Tron and I got there I thought that I’d lost you. No one could get inside, and it was already too late, but Tron used his own energy to break the shield so I could get you out of there. A few more minutes and you wouldn’t have stood a chance.’
Nathaniel stopped talking while my pulse raced away. I couldn’t believe that I’d been so stupid. People could have died because of me.
‘Thank you for not giving up on me,’ I whispered, caressing his hand. ‘I’d given up in there; I was ready to die.’
‘Julia, you’re the love of my life and I don’t want to lose you.’
My heart swelled with love for Nathaniel, but I had to ask about Quentin. I had to know what kind of monster I became. He came to my room, when I was sleeping.
‘Quentin was here, wasn’t he? You told him, about us?’ I asked, swallowing a large lump in my throat.
Nathaniel shifted on his chair and exhaled sharply. ‘He knew as soon as he saw me. I didn’t have to say anything.’
Quentin must have put two and two together. I’d lied to him about Nathaniel. I told him that we only had a professional relationship and all of a sudden he saw Nathaniel by my bed, holding my hand, while I was hurt. It wasn’t difficult to guess that I deceived him.
‘I need to talk to him. I owe him an explanation. God, he must think that I used him to get over you.’
Nathaniel lifted himself off his chair and sat next to me.
‘You have to stop talking, Julia. He is the past now, and we are the future.’
I shivered, feeling a slow pulsation on my skin. There was a soft wind in the room and I breathed out the feeling magic circulating around us. Our love for each other was burning bridges, destroying lives, and putting others in danger. We didn’t talk about our last conversation in the office, and when the healers came to check on me, Nathaniel left. He didn’t come back and in some respect I was glad. My family was the most important to me. I had to talk to Mum before I could start thinking about myself.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to leave the bed at all that day, and a few hours later the girls arrived to check on me. Kelsie had a few burns on her arms, and her face was bruised and swollen. She started crying as soon as she saw me. I’d never seen Kelsie crying, so Kate and I were in quite a shock.
‘I can’t believe that Craig was such a scum. He nearly killed you!’ she yelled, shaking her head and blowing her nose.
‘Kelsie, hun, calm down. It’s over. He is dead and he will never ever hurt anyone else,’I said.
‘Yeah, but I should have known that he was up to something,’ she cried out. ‘And your mother, she saw everything. She’s never going to recover.’
We tried to calm Kelsie down, but she was having a little meltdown. It took her a while to settle. It turned out that Craig chose himself as a pack master. He brought his own people from Scotland and began terrorising shifters in many parts of London. From what Kelsie told me, Craig was planning to gather a number of followers and challenge other gangs in South London. He made a connection with werewolves and giants, but then something went wrong and he went a little mental. A few werwolves died when Craig used dark magic. Michael had many connections, and after the incident with werwolves, even Gordon got concerned. I didn’t know why I didn’t link Craig to my blackouts or visions. He was hungry for power.
At least there was one positive outcome that came out of this mess. A few days after his death, Michael and his pack challenged Craig’s people and forced them out of their district. Kelsie was eager to get rid of her past, so she joined Michael. They both mediated a peaceful agreement between werewolves and shifters. From that point, all the parties agreed that things should get back to how they were before Craig came into the picture. The idea of the pack master had been completely scrapped. Kelsie found a new pack of shifters that respected her, and Michael’s position in the community strengthened.
My friend went through a lot, but she managed to fix her life and finally let go of the past. On top of that, she found a decent shifter, a new love.
In some ways Kelsie was right about my mother. No one could take away Mum’s memories; she saw and experienced too much. When Dad didn’t come back to see me later, I had a really bad feeling about this. I tried to call him, but his mobile was going straight to voicemail. I was forbidden to get out of bed. My skin looked much better, but I was still weak and drained of power. All night I barely slept, wondering how Mum reacted when she saw Dad by her bed.
In the morning I couldn’t take the silence any longer, so I snuck out of my room to visit my mother. I looked like a monster covered in a green and sticky paste, but I felt stronger. Mum was lying in bed staring at the ceiling when I entered. Dad wasn’t around and I wondered what I’d missed. Ella went crazy when she found out my real magical life. My mother had never even been to see a fortuneteller.
‘Hi, Mum, how are you feeling?’ I asked, approaching her bed. She was in much better shape than me, although her arms were in covered with thick layers of bandages. Magic coursed through the air, prickling th
e skin at the back of my neck. Mum didn’t acknowledge me at all. I sat down on the chair next to her bed, watching her. During that evening everything went so wrong, and I couldn’t do anything to protect her. I should have searched for the answers. I should have known that Craig had been involved.
‘I need to stay in your apartment for a while,’ Mum said, unexpectedly looking at me, her eyes flickering with hope.
‘Mum, listen, I know that you’re confused and probably angry, but you were never supposed to find out about magic. It was easier this way, less complicated,’ I said, fiddling with my fingers. I didn’t expect her to be so calm, and Dad wasn’t here. Something was wrong, very wrong.
‘I always sensed that your father was different, always involved with all this absurdity.’ She sighed heavily.
Absurdity? What is she talking about?
‘It’s just magic and spells. We aren’t very different from humans, Mum. Dad has a lot of power, but he doesn’t use it around you. He knew that you wouldn’t tolerate it.’
‘We, what do you mean by we?’ she asked, lifting herself up. Her eyes shimmered with confusion and anger. ‘You were never like your father.’
I was stunned, staring at her, trying to understand what she meant. I brought my chair closer to her bed.
‘Mum, listen to me. You saw what I can do. Dad is much stronger and more advanced in magic. He came to visit you yesterday, didn’t he? You guys talked about this?’
‘I’m being discharged today and I want to stay in your apartment,’ she said, folding her arms together, ignoring my questions. I exhaled, scratching my head.
‘But, Mum, what about Dad—’
‘I’m going to stay with you,’ she cut me off. ‘Is that okay? You won’t mind, would you?’
I tried to talk to her about Dad and magic, but it was like she was ignoring me purposely. She refused to listen when I mentioned Craig or Kelsie. I left her room frustrated and angry, as she continued to insist that I wasn’t magical, stating that Dad must have tricked her into a marriage. Instead of going back to my own room I went to see the doctor.
‘Your mother is recovering well, she should be discharged fairly soon,’ said doctor who was looking after Mum.
‘What about her mental state?’
‘She is herself, Miss Taylor, in her body and spirit.’
I couldn’t quite catch my breath after I got back to my room. My life had crashed down on me like heavy bricks. I called Dad multiple times, but he was out of reach, ignoring me completely.
Two days later, I insisted on being discharged. Instead of going home, I headed straight to the police station. It was all my fault that Mum had discovered magic, and I had to do everything in my power to change her perspective. Dad didn’t look particularly happy when he saw me. The lines on his forehead were showing more than usual, and he looked like he hasn’t had a shower for almost a week.
‘I haven’t got time to talk to you, Julia. I’m investigating everything that we have on that shifter who abducted you. I need to get to the bottom of who he was working with,’ he snapped, tossing the papers on his desk.
‘What about Mum? Have you even spoken to her? She thinks that you’re some sort of monster, not acknowledging my own power at all.’
Dad’s vein started throbbing dangerously fast in his neck. He squeezed his knuckles around the chair. I had never seen him so dejected about everything, like he didn’t care anymore.
‘She doesn’t want to even look at me. I was with her all day. I tried to talk to her, but she was silent for four full hours. Maybe I should give her some space, so she can get her head around what we are.’
I flopped down on the chair, feeling nauseous. The house that I grew up in had been destroyed, burned to the ground. It was clear that Mum might end up in a mental institution, and a person who worked with Craig was still after me. It was a mess and all because of me.
‘I didn’t expect her to react like that. I thought that she wouldn’t want to see me like Ella,’ I said. ‘But she pretends that it’s all your fault and you weren’t even there.’
‘She is overwhelmed and probably scared, and you have to stop worrying,’ Dad said. ‘I’m in the process of sorting out the details with the insurance company. I can crash at Aunt Dorothy’s. It will be better if your mother stays with you. She needs time to adjust. She loves you, so she will listen to you.’
Dad was optimistic and I wanted to be, too, but my heart was in pieces. He didn’t want to talk to me about Mum any longer, pretending that he was busy. He was hurting and I couldn’t bear the fact that Mum didn’t want to listen. I asked him about Jasper, but the police didn’t find his body in that forgotten district. I had to tell Dad about his involvement and the fact that he was willing to use magic thieves.
I didn’t want to hide anything anymore, and as I expected, Dad was furious with me. He gave me a long lecture and ordered Dannika to take me home. In some ways I was relieved that my Dad knew what I’d done. I hated all the secrets and lies. I tried Jasper’s phone, but it was out of order. I called a few of his friends, but no one had heard from him, and even though we had our differences I was worried. At home I stayed up until late, afraid to fall asleep. Dad sent the unit over, and eventually I drifted to sleep thinking about the master, wondering if the blackouts were behind me.
Next day I went to hospital and brought Mum home. She was acting like everything was perfectly normal, talking about her work and what she was going to cook for dinner. When I asked about Dad, she pretended that she hadn’t heard me, changing the subject straight away. Ella was my only hope. She could talk to Mum, help her to adjust to this bizarre new perspective. This way Mum would understand that magic wasn’t dangerous and she could let Dad back to her life.
However, after a few days I understood that Mum wasn’t planning to speak to Dad at all. When I tried to talk to her about the fire and Craig, she kept shutting me down, shouting that she didn’t need to remember. Mum didn’t believe in magic, insisting that I was deceiving my own self, and my power was just an illusion. Soon I ran out of ideas, and stopped talking to her about magic. I felt so hopeless and Dad didn’t offer his company, keeping away from her.
Thoughts about Quentin were also driving me insane. I left him a million messages, but he wasn’t returning any of my phone calls. I owed him an apology, an explanation, but he vanished out of my life completely. Nathaniel also stayed out of my life. I missed him desperately, but I thought that it was better for us to be apart. We both needed time to adjust to changes that crashed into us, suddenly and unexpectedly.
Two weeks after the fire, I kept working late, staying away from the house. Mum continued to live like she had never gone through any trauma, pretending that we were still a big happy family. I couldn’t even bring myself to see Tron again. It was too soon. I locked myself into a small box, blaming myself for everything and drowning in misery.
When I finally decided to go home, it was late. My shift ended four hours ago and when I stepped out of the office, I clenched my muscles, feeling paranoid that I was being watched. After a few seconds I started walking, blaming my wild imagination for the newly inflicted fear. Then, out of nowhere a man stepped from the shadows, frightening me. I wanted to scream, but soon I recognised Jasper. In the darkness and light from the street lamps he didn’t look like himself. Bruises on his face were still deep and fresh, like he wasn’t healing quickly enough. He’d lost weight, and his clothes hung on him. My heart pounded in my chest when I started wondering what he went through during that night.
Chapter thirty
How could I ever think that this was okay?
‘You’re alive. Oh my God, are you … all right?’
‘Just about,’ he said, sighing deeply. For a long time he wasn’t saying anything, just watching me, studying my emotions like he used to.
‘What happened out there that night?’ I asked finally.
‘We were followed, but I lost them. Well, I thought I did. Those wizards
knew how to block out my spells. They were waiting for us, knowing that we would be there. They caught me by surprise and turned my energy against me,’ he said, sounding tired. ‘I was left to die up there; they wanted me dead. Magic thieves took away the last strength of my power. I thought that it was the end of me.’
‘So, how did you get out? How did you escape?’
‘Someone came.’
‘Someone?’
‘I don’t know who it was, but for some reason he knew that I was there. He made them go away, scared them into hiding. He brought me back to my lab, forced me to drink something and then he left me there.’
I wondered if we both had a guardian angel, someone who looked after us, because we were both snapped out of the hands of death, unexpectedly and very suddenly.
‘God, I don’t think that I could forgive myself,’ I said, swallowing the tears, thinking about magic thieves, about these soulless creatures, locked up away from civilisation. ‘I should have never asked you to help me.’
‘I heard what happened. I heard about the fire,’ he said, brushing the hair away from my face. ‘Are you all right? Do you know why that shifter abducted you?’
‘He wanted my power, my magic, and now I wish that he took it all,’ I said quietly, looking away.
‘Julia, you deserve your magic. Don’t ever regret being blessed with it.’
‘I was selfish and you were right. I should have told my Dad about everything.’
‘You’re safe now, and that’s what matters.’
‘Please, Jasper. I know why you’re here and what you want, but I can’t do this now. My life is falling apart.’
‘I told you that I’ve changed. I just wanted to check if you were all right, that’s all.’
I thanked him and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, then walked away. He didn’t stop me and I was glad that our conversation ended. There was going to be a time when Jasper would come back to my life, but for now I was too confused and worried about everything. I promised him friendship, but he had to wait.