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“Give me more,” he snarled. “Give me everything. ”
She cried out at his rough invasion, the sounds of her pleasure only firing him up more as he filled his palms with her swollen breasts and pistoned his hips, thrusting wildly between the wettest, sweetest folds he could imagine on a woman’s pussy. Even while his heart bled.
“I feel like…” She panted, struggling, trying to hold the words back.
Liam stared into her eyes, so wide and pleading.
“Tell me!”
“Like you love me. ” It rushed out almost like a single word, then she drew in a shaky breath, coursing with emotion. “I don’t know why. I don’t deserve it, but—”
“You feel like I love you because I do. ”
He grabbed her hips until he felt sure they’d bruise and drove into her using every bit of his breath, every ounce of his strength, shuttling deep with every drop of determination. He’d put his stamp on her the best way he knew how. And prayed that something he’d done had reached her bloody stubborn heart.
“Liam!”
“Take me, lass. All the way inside you, to the places you don’t give anyone else. Take everything I’ve got to give you. Pleasure, pain, joy, sorrow. They’re all mine, just like you. ”
Under him, she whimpered. Her body surged and rolled, swelled and arched. He slid even farther inside of her, her flesh grasping and clutching him.
“Yes!” she cried out. “I’m so close. Please. . . ”
“I love you, Raine. No matter what, I love you today, tomorrow, always. Promise me you’ll not forget. . . ”
But her keening cry of impending orgasm was her only answer. He reached between them and stroked her clit to launch her ecstasy. He relished in her trembling beneath him. “That’s it, love. Come for me. ”
Liam closed his eyes and felt her release sweep through him like a shockwave as she wailed out her climax. He tried to hold his own for as long as he could, but his body would not be denied as he pulled free of her, tore the condom from his pulsating cock, and felt the surge of semen burst upward and out, covering her milky white belly and breasts. Liam marked her, roaring as he held on for dear life.
He rubbed his seed into her porcelain skin, determined to have his scent upon her, hoping it meant to her all that it did to him.
Liam had given her everything—mentally, physically, emotionally. He felt spent in every sense of the word as he sprawled on his back with Raine tangled in his arms. The fan above them lazily spun.
“Do you love me at all?” he asked, unable to stop himself.
Beside him, she tensed. He heard her swallow.
Rolling to his side, Liam pinned her with a stare. Her heart was in her eyes. She wanted to say yes, damn it. He’d felt it in her touch. He could bloody well feel it now.
“I—” Her mouth hung open, but she said nothing else.
Raine sucked in harsh breaths. She paled.
“Be brave. ”
“I need to go to the bathroom,” she sobbed and tried to roll from the bed.
As he grabbed her arm to stay her, agony gutted Liam. Weariness and crushing regret dashed the satisfaction spiraling through him just moments ago. He felt hollow. Destroyed. He gripped her tightly, willing her to look at him. Her whole body trembled. He felt her yearning, damn it. But she wouldn’t face him.
Maybe he wanted more than she was capable of giving. Maybe he wasn’t enough for her. He swallowed. Maybe she just didn’t love him enough.
“Wait,” he rasped.
The truth was, she was too afraid to tell him how she felt. Because of her father? No, she’d had no trouble telling Hammer. But his old pal had shoved her love back in her face over and over, bruising her ego. Breaking her heart? Yeah, probably.
His hopes of saving her dissolved. He’d been kidding himself that he could. It seemed he was years too late for that.
How ironic that he’d taken up with Raine to build her confidence a bit and prod Hammer with jealousy. But Macen was having the last laugh. Liam knew he’d never be the same.
With a heavy sigh, he lifted a finger and tilted her chin. The collar at her throat looked so lovely in the light. His heart clutched as he brought her mouth to his for a soft kiss.
As he brushed her lips with his own, he reached behind her neck and slipped the latch on the collar. The precious metal with its dangling ruby was warm from her skin. The catch fell open, and the piece slid into his waiting hand.
She froze—her kiss, her stare, her breath. Raine pulled back slowly, then looked at the collar in his palm, blinking with shock and confusion. Questions clouded her eyes. Anxiety tightened her face. He dragged in a sawing draught of air. He fucking hated hurting her.
“What are you doing?”
He set the collar on the nightstand. “I told you we needed to talk, Raine. ”
She tried to jerk away. “You used me before you decided to tell me to kiss off. ”
He held tight, not letting her move an inch. “I made love to you, hoping you’d understand. But you don’t. ” He sighed. “So I’m going to explain myself, and I want you to listen carefully. For this to work, I need you to communicate—”
“If this is about the migraine, I swear that I wasn’t keeping it from you on purpose. I just had so much else on my mind that I forgot to mention it. ”
“If you were thinking of me at all, you’d automatically share something like that with me. It would be second nature. You want my affection. You want my sexual domination. You don’t want to do the work necessary to truly submit. Hell, to have a real relationship. ”
“That’s not true. ” Her blue eyes pleaded, frantic. “I’m working on it. I’m not perfect, but I’m—”
“Still hiding big chunks of your heart and soul to yourself. You’re not ready to be collared. ”
“That’s not fair!”
“What’s not fair is that I’m your Dom in name only. I won’t fight you if you don’t want to give yourself freely. Only you can decide how important I am to you—if at all. But I can’t keep submitting to you while I try to give you what I know you need. I’m not oblivious to your fears, but you either trust me and love me…or you don’t. I’m done trying to pry everything out of you, only to discover you’ve not been bloody honest. I get half-truths and subtle lies designed to make me feel better. Is it because you think I’m too stupid to understand or too weak to handle them?”
Horror crossed Raine’s face. “Neither! I told you before; I just don’t want to upset or trouble you. ”
“Or have to risk my wrath, admit you’ve fucked up, and truly give yourself to me. I know the game, Raine. I’ve seen it played many times. And I won’t play it with you anymore. I want you back…but not until you learn to communicate. Be honest with me. Trust me. And surrender your control to me. I see the real you, no matter how much you try to hide. And I still want you, still love you. I always will. ”
“You’re punishing me for Thanksgiving day,” she accused, her voice thickening with emotion.
“This isn’t any sort of discipline. But I’ve finally got your attention, lass. The pickles I fed you back at the lodge to coax you to open up just weren’t working anymore. ”
That seemed like a lifetime ago.
Tears filled her eyes, and she struggled from his embrace again, this time with all her might.
Still, he held strong. “Stop. ”
“You’re leaving me,” she accused.
“I’m not. I’m giving you a wee break so you can decide whether you want to go through life alone or open your heart and be loved. I can’t make the choice for you. ” Finally, he released her with a sigh.
She scrambled away and jumped from the bed, spearing him with a teary accusation. Betrayal narrowed her eyes. “I knew you were going to do this eventually. I told you from the beginning that you’d give up on me and leave, just like everyone else. I knew I wouldn’t be good enough for you. I told you… I’
m so stupid for hoping you’d be different. ”
As she made a mad dash for the door, his heart sank. He ran after her and slapped his palms against the door on either side of her so she couldn’t open it. “Raine, hear me well. I’m not leaving you. I’m giving you some space so you can figure things out. You won’t have my expectations hanging over your head to cloud your thoughts. I’m always here to answer questions or reassure you. And don’t you dare be thinking about running away. But you have to search your own soul. If you’re willing to do the work to be whole and want what we could have, come back to me. If not…” His fucking heart was breaking, and he could barely choke the words out. “Then this is the end. ”
Chapter 7
Raine stood under the hot spray of her shower, sobbing so hard she could barely take a breath. For the last month, Liam had quietly and solidly supported her, keeping her balanced and almost happy. He’d treasured her in a hundred ways. He’d shown her every day that he wanted her.
Until today when he’d left her.
How was she going to survive when she felt as if her chest had been torn open and everything inside yanked out with a few brutally soft words?
She reached for her favorite shampoo. But it was with Liam, in his room, in his shower. He also had her body wash, a bunch of her clothes…and half her heart. He didn’t want that half anymore.
And Hammer wouldn’t take the other half.
Crossing her arms over her chest, she curled her hands under her chin and bowed her head. The absence of her collar stabbed her with agony again. And remorse. Falling back against the cold tile, she let the tears flow. They mingled with the water, pelting her unrelentingly.
Liam had left her.
The thought razed through her brain again. Her knees buckled. Another sob robbed her of breath. More tears joined the cascade of water. She could barely think past the pain.
On autopilot, Raine shampooed her hair, scrubbed Liam’s seed from her body, washed her face, then stepped out. The towel smelled like fabric softener, not Liam. She’d become so accustomed to sharing his, smelling his musk on the damp terrycloth. It made her feel safe. Why hadn’t she realized that before now?
Why hadn’t she been able to tell him that she loved him when she did, so very, very much? The disappointment on his face had seared itself into her memory.
Maybe it didn’t matter. He’d made himself clear that he would welcome her back, but only if she was a different person. Raine didn’t know how to be that.
She dredged up an almost superhuman effort to slather lotion on her skin, braid her hair, and apply lip gloss. Raine gave up then. She just didn’t care about the rest.
Leaving the steamy bathroom, she wriggled her way into some panties, a bra, a pair of sweatpants, and a sweatshirt. Lying in one of her drawers, she fingered an old T-shirt that had been Hammer’s once, long ago. She’d taken it from him and slept in it for months, just to feel close to him. Shortly after turning twenty-one and realizing that he still treated her every bit like a child, she’d tucked it away.
Raine knew now that his attitude had been a front…but nothing had really changed. He would never love her in return. Sure, he might want to fuck her for a night or two—and yes, she could run to his room and seduce him now—but she loved Hammer too much to make him the instrument of her revenge. And regardless of the hurt Liam had inflicted, she just didn’t have it in her to stab him in return.
Shoving the shirt back in her drawer, Raine looked around the room she’d called her own for years. She didn’t belong here anymore.
So where did that leave her? More to the point, where did she belong? Liam had released her because she couldn’t be what he needed. Hammer had refused her for so long, and after their torrid night of passion, he’d let her go for the exact same reason.
Her dad had been right all along. She wasn’t good enough.
Maybe if she left, Liam and Hammer would finally repair their friendship. That would make them happy someday, and then she could say she’d done at least one thing right.
Of course Raine recognized that running was an old pattern of hers, one both men had chided her about. But in this case, she just didn’t see any way for the healing to begin if she was constantly underfoot to provide the friction between them. Besides, if she had to look at them every day and know they’d never be hers, it would eventually destroy her.
Leaving was best.
That would probably seem unfathomable to Liam. He’d been nudging her to leave Shadows with him since he’d collared her because it would be good for her. She hadn’t agreed and had refused to go. But everything was different now.
As much as she hated to leave her home, she’d do it for both men. For their friendship, which had deteriorated drastically since they’d torn apart the kitchen on Thanksgiving. She didn’t know exactly what had happened, but the tension was tangible and thick between them now. Ugly. The blame for that rested squarely on her shoulders.