tell you stuff then you tend to think they know what they’re talking about. They feed and clothe you don’t they? So why would you assume they are a couple of lying sons of bitches? So you tend to trust the stuff they tell you. If they tell you Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy exist then you act like a chump and you believe them. So when they teach you about religion, well, say your mama is a Muslim, then you become a Muslim because your mama is a Muslim, because you tend to think your mama is not a dumb-ass, because you tend to think that she knows what she’s doing when she lectures on the subject of religion. If your father is a Lutheran then you become a Lutheran, because it is natural for you to think your papa is not a dumb-ass on the subject of religion. Now when you get older you might want to involve your Ego - your intellectual ability - when you formulate your religious beliefs, and you might not want to rely exclusively on your Superego, which after all, when you get right down to it, is something which is telling you to act like a dumb-ass robot, because it is telling you to just believe everything that your old man and your old lady say. Your old man and your old lady might teach you some intelligent stuff. They might not be bona fide dumb-asses, but, nevertheless, you’re acting like a dumb-ass robot if you think everything they teach you must be true, and that everything they teach you can not possibly be a mistake. Let’s look now at the subject of Scenarios. Like in The Postman Always Rings Twice, you got that hot young Lana Turner married to that old guy, and then that young guy played by John Garfield comes along and the young hot Lana Turner and young guy played by John Garfield decide they want to eliminate the old geezer, but they got to make his death look like an accident, because if the Insurance Company learns he was murdered then they won’t hand over lots of money to the chick played by Lana Turner, and getting the money is whole reason for greasing the old guy. So we have these things called Scenarios. How do the movie makers want to make the movie? How do they want the movie to begin and end? Well, there are Various Scenarios. There are various ways to make the movie, for instance, there are different ways to make the old guy’s death look like an accident. In Scenario 1 Lana Turner and John Garfield could get the old guy drunk, and then John Garfield could run him over with a stolen car, making it look like he was killed by some stranger in a hit-and-run job. In Scenario 2 they could send the old guy on a fishing trip, but they could put him into a boat that tips over, so it’s death by drowning, or in Scenario 3 they could send him on a hunting trip with his buddies, where he would have a terrible accident, or in Scenario 4 they could rig up the fuse box in such a way that when the old geezer goes to check a fuse he gets a lethal dose of 10,000 volts surging through violently convulsing body. You’d be shaking like a wet dog shakes when he tries to dry himself, and your eyeballs would be busting out of their sockets, man, if you had 10,000 volts at high amperage surging through your body! So when we turn to religion and philosophy we can make use of this idea of Scenarios, such as when we evaluate books such as The Koran, the Old Testament and the New Testament. Like Scenario 1 might be the scenario where Jesus is God, or rather God is a Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit - Jesus being the Son - and you will go to perdition if you say Jesus is a bogus deity. Scenario 2 might be Jesus is a bogus deity and you will go to perdition unless you renounce Allah and Jesus and Buddha and every other deity who is not the God who dominates the Old Testament. Scenario 3 might say you must become a Muslim or else you will burn in hell. So, you have to make an intelligent assessment of the Koran, the Old Testament and the New Testament. John 15. 6, 2 Thess 1. 8, John 14. 23-26, Matthew 16. 13-19, Ephesians 4. 4, Galatians 1. 8-12 etc., etc. give one reasons to believe in a True Faith and a True Church. When you turn to 2 Thessalonians 2 you read about a ‘falling away’. What is this falling away? Perhaps it is a falling away from the True Faith and the True Church? That would be the natural assumption from the context of 2 Thess 2. If you have fallen away from the True Faith and the True Church, then you are in a lousy position to recognize the True Faith and the True Church, because you have fallen away! Now if you have not fallen away from the True Faith and the True Church, then you are in an excellent position, a very excellent position indeed, to recognize the True Faith and the True Church.”
Me continuing - ‘Well that’s enough from R. K. G. Taylor, LL.D., Ph.D. and his imaginary classic: Classical Dumb-ass Theory for Kids.
`Religious people say that Satan and the Antichrist must be a couple of dumb-asses. Worldly people think they are evil geniuses, not evil dumb-asses, but, religious people insist `Satan and the Antichrist must be a pair of huge enormous colossal dumb-asses, because they live their lives in such a way that a benevolent and merciful Deity finds it necessary and appropriate to torture them in hellfire forever, and, obviously, you have to be a huge enormous colossal dumb-ass to live your life in a way that will buy you punishment in hellfire forever and ever.
`The defenders of humanity, the proponents of Post-Modern, or Revisionist, Dumb-Ass Theory, have been insisting with some success of late that dumb-asses do not exist; they teach the doctrine that slow folks are merely late-blooming geniuses, people who are merely a little tardy to attain their full intellectual maturity and genius potential.
`The idea that undiscovered geniuses are more or less ubiquitous, arises, to my mind at least, from the logic which says Christianity is a religion for the masses, and, furthermore, at the heart of Christianity is some logic which runs as follows: True Christians have the Divine Law described in Jeremiah 31. 31-34 written on their hearts. Recall Christ’s words at the Last Supper - ‘this cup is My blood of the new covenant which is shed for many’. What is this new covenant? Turning to Jeremiah 31. 31-34 we find:
“Behold, the days come, sayeth the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers, in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of Egypt; which My covenant they broke… but this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days sayeth the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and I will be their God and they shall be My people. And they shall teach no more every man his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, sayeth the Lord: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”
`The above is also the subject of Hebrews 8. Long story short, we Christians are supposed to have this Divine Law written on our hearts. Some might be comfortable going so far as to say that the people who have the Divine Law written on their hearts are able to teach theology and ethical philosophy with the authority of the Creator of the Universe. If you’re not willing to go that far, still, if a person has the Divine Law written on his heart, then, you would think, he would be a great authority on the Highest Law in the Universe. You would think that he would never be a fan of unjust laws and idiotic government policies. You would think he would know the difference between good and evil, and the difference between justice and injustice.
`As I say, Christianity is supposed to be a religion for the masses. If the masses have the Divine Law written on their hearts, then it must follow that great geniuses are very common. But when the masses lap up the typical swill dished out by Hollywood, or when the masses lap up for the same swill from the same politicians mouthing the same platitudes year after year, then you start to wonder: are the masses really great geniuses? There would be a big discrepancy, you know, if millions of Christians thought they had the Divine Law written on their hearts, but where deluded, and didn’t have it written on their hearts. Nevertheless, if a person did have the Divine Law mentioned in Jeremiah 31. 31-34 written on his heart, and therefore if this person could teach theology and ethics and the Highest Law in the Universe with the authority of the Creator of the universe, then he would have to be something of a great great genius, don’t you think?
He certainly couldn’t be a dumb-ass!
`Classical Dumb-Ass Theory had its genesis in pre-history. The cave men, in their blind fanaticism, steadfastly maintained the existence of dumb-asses. Whereas, as we’ve seen, Revisionist Dumb-Ass Theory began in either the enlightenment or the madness of the 20th century, when various students began to question the fanatical certainty of those Atheistic professors and philosophers who insisted that one must needs be a dumb-as if one believed in God. A reaction to the obnoxious dogmatism of the Atheists was sparked in various students. Some turned inwards and began to doubt the very existence of dumb-asses.
`We might look at some examples from Mystery Science Theater 3000. In one scene we have the camera panning in on some clouds, and it lingers on them for maybe ten seconds. And then one of the robots says, perhaps in a woman’s voice, I can’t remember: ‘ok, I’ve seen this cloud from both sides now, it’s time to move on now.’ This is funny if you are aware of