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For the first time since I found out what I really was, I felt the hard knot inside of me ease. It was such a relief, like sinking into a warm bath on a chilly day. I didn’t have to hate myself anymore. I could just . . . be me again, even though “me” was so much more than what I’d once thought.
Alex stirred, his embrace tightening around me. We lay in each others’ arms, our breathing rising and falling at almost the same time. Around us, the night was so still, so utterly peaceful.
I was a half angel — and for the first time, that seemed like something that might, just possibly, be OK.
“We’re expecting at least sixty thousand people on the day,” said Jonah. “I’ve arranged for security to help with crowd control, and we have permission to use the fields to the south of the cathedral for extra parking. I’ve gotten a team of devotees to help guide people in. ” He put a plan for the extended parking areas onto Raziel’s desk, pointing out the location. “All the other details are coming together, too. We’re having a full dress rehearsal on Friday night, and then the flowers are being delivered early Saturday morning, and —”
Raziel sat listening with his head propped onto his hand. He was wearing dark pants and a crisp blue shirt open at the neck. Idly, he picked up the plans and glanced at them, then tossed them back onto his desk. “Fine, it all sounds like it’s in hand,” he said. “And what about the half angel? Is there any news?”
Jonah had been dreading this question. “She . . . hasn’t been found yet. ”
Irritation flickered across the angel’s face. He tapped his silver letter opener against his desk. “Yes, thank you, I’m aware of that. Almost a month now with nothing at all. Are you saying you have no updates?”
Stalling, Jonah drew the parking plans back across the desk and put them with his other papers. For a panicked moment, he wasn’t sure what to do — and then, his heart thudding, he told the truth. “No, there was something this morning. One of the remote viewers thinks he’s close to finding them; he’s picked up the half angel’s energy in the Sierra Nevada. He just needs to pinpoint the exact location. A day or two at the most. ”
Raziel stared at him. As always, Jonah felt slightly dizzy looking into the angel’s eyes, though it had never really bothered him before. Now his muscles tightened, and he glanced away.
“We finally have news, and you sat there prattling on about parking plans?” demanded Raziel scathingly.
“I . . . ” Jonah stopped, his cheeks hot.
“A day or two,” muttered the angel, running a finger along the letter opener’s blade. “Finally, we’re getting somewhere. All right, the instant their location is found, get someone out there to dispose of them, do you understand? The Second Wave will be here soon, and I want them both destroyed by then. Is that clear?”
Jonah nodded, his fingers icy. “Yes, sir. I’ll make it happen. ”
Raziel dismissed him, and Jonah went back to his own office, shutting the paneled wooden door behind him. He sank down into his chair and buried his head in his hands. It was true; the half angel was close to being found. And when she was . . . Jonah felt his stomach swing with dread.
He still didn’t know whether he had made the right decision.
“HOW ABOUT THAT ONE? Is that a constellation?” I asked, pointing upward. We were down in the small valley where the truck was parked. Alex sat leaning against a rock; I was between his legs with my back against his chest, his arms around me as we stared up at the stars.
“Yeah, that’s the Seven Sisters, the Pleiades. ” He bent his head, and I caught my breath as his warm mouth nuzzled at my neck. I hadn’t gotten even remotely used yet to how good it felt to be kissed by Alex.
“It’s so sexy how you know all of this,” I said when I could speak again.
“Yeah?” I heard the grin in his voice. “I know the summer constellations, too. Will that get me bonus kisses?”
“I think it might, actually. ” A cool wind swept us, and I shivered. Alex arranged his leather jacket snugly around me and folded his forearms over my stomach, holding me close. Above, the night sky soared — a glittering sea of light.
“So . . . I did what you suggested that time,” I told him after a pause. “I contacted my angel. ”
Alex leaned sideways, looking down at me. An amazed smile lit his face. “Really?”
“Yeah, the night of my birthday. ” I felt a small glow of pleasure inside, remembering. “I just sort of wanted to keep it private for a while. ”
He nodded. “Do you want to tell me about it now? Or not?”
“No, I really do. ” I swiveled to face him, sitting cross-legged on the ground as I described everything that had happened — finding my angel within me, feeling her warmth. “I knew that I don’t have to be afraid of her anymore,” I finished finally, “that I don’t have to hate myself for having something like that inside of me. ”
Taking my face in his hands, Alex kissed me softly. “Are you going to contact her again?”
“Yeah, I will. I — well, I sort of want to try flying again. ” My cheeks heated.
He shook his head in wonder. “I would, too, if I were you. ” He hesitated, and then said, “Why don’t you try it now?”
“Now?”
“Yeah, why not? I’d really like to see. I mean, unless you’d rather be on your own. ”
The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Excitement tickled through me. “OK, I will,” I said. Holding his hands, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could feel Alex centering himself as well, preparing to rise up through the chakra points. Relaxing, I went deep inside myself, searching for the light that I now knew was there.
I found it at once — sped toward it this time. A burst of light enveloped me. There was my angel, smiling, her face just as lovely and serene as before. I drank her in — a radiant, shining white, like sun-touched snow. And then, with a slight mental flick, I moved my consciousness to hers.
I was lifting, growing taller, leaving my human body behind. But at the same time, I was still seated on the ground, with Alex’s hands holding mine. I opened my eyes and saw my angel hovering just above us, her wings moving against the stars.
“Alex, I can see her,” I whispered from beside him. “I mean — I am her, but I’m here, too. ”
He glanced at me, startled, and then back at the angel. “But how —?”
“I don’t know,” I said, not taking my eyes off her. “I think she only came out before because I was in danger and she could help. But now I’ve bonded with her, so it’s different this time somehow. ” Closing my eyes, I became my angel as she turned and took flight over the valley.
The stars shifted, came to meet me as I flew up and up. I felt the wind stroking my wings, stirring my hair, and far below, I saw the energy forces of every living thing in the valley. The plants were all turned into something magical, with gleaming white outlines that moved with the wind. Creatures that I hadn’t even known were there suddenly appeared: a mouse crouching in the grass, a pair of deer moving through the pine trees. I saw Alex’s life force down there — a rich, vibrant blue with flashes of gold. And I saw my own beside it: bright angelic silver with lavender lights. The two energies were so close that they mingled like smoke, completely right together.