BY CANDLE OR LAMP LIGHT
by Nobo13
Copyright 2015 Nobo13
*****
By Candle or Lamp Light
You are a fire. You must burn. Be a candle, and light the way for someone. Or be a firework and dedicate your entire life for a moment, for a smile. You are a fire, Sam. So burn your life away for someone.
*****
‘It’s not looking good, Amy’ I said from across the dark
‘Yeah’ she replied as normal. You wouldn’t think we were in danger from her tone of voice.
‘The ship’s been hit hard. It’ll hold, but the life support is down. It’s going to get cold’
‘Yeah”
‘Amy?’
‘Yeah’
‘Amy!’
She looked up this time. I caught a brief moment of shock in her face, before it returned to normal.
‘Sorry, Sam. I was just thinking’ she smiled
‘Go on,’ I rolled my eyes, ‘What’s the matter?’
‘You know, I’ve never written a story before’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘You know, a story. Like the ones we heard growing up’
I thought back to my childhood. God I hated it. Growing up in a cubical with that stupid holographic mother. I hated those stories.
‘Yeah, I remember’ I said
‘I want to write one’
‘Right now?’
‘Well, we’re going to die, right?’ she smiled brightly
*****
Across the hall, the Suns brightly lit the corridor. I was as strong as everyone else, as smart as everyone else. We were the factory babies, raised by machines since we were born. But I was different. I didn’t march like a soldier out the room, which was my whole world since I was born. No. I took a step out, and was filled with fear. Filled with joy. Filled with anxiety. Filled with excitement.
I watched as everyone marched towards the very end of the hall, miles away, while I stood there before wandering around.
Maybe I was a defective product. Maybe I was wrong. That feeling seeped into my heart and I was worried I’d be thrown away, or killed. In a desperate attempt, I began marching and following. But before I lent myself entirely to my up bringing, she waved to me.
From across those great marble floors, while being blinded by the sun light from the tall glass walls, she waved to me. Immediately, I left the sheep and walked towards her.
‘Hi, I’m Amy’ she smiled
I stared helplessly at her. She was just like me. She was just like me. I wasn’t the only one. I felt so glad then. I fell in love.
‘Samantha. I’m Samantha’ I cried
*****
‘I’ve booted up the comm. logs. You’re ready to go’ I said
‘Cheers, bob!’
I always hated that. Cheers, bob! It’s Sam god damn it! But, at the same time, I loved it. The way she thanked everyone the same. The way she treated everyone equally. If ever you needed a reason to stop the factory babies, she was it. She was the last real human alive.
‘Right, time to start…’ she paused
‘What’s up?’ I asked
‘How the hell do you start it?’ she laughed
For a moment I stared shocked before bursting into laughter.
‘What?’ I giggled, ‘You didn’t even have an idea?’
‘No,’ she cried in tears from laughter, ‘I thought I’d wing it!’
‘God,’ I calmed myself, ‘Just, write what you care about. Like you said, this is going to be the last thing you ever do. You want it to touch as many people as possible, no?’
‘Yeah…’
And with that, she began typing. I envied that about her. We weren’t the same at all.
*****
‘Candidate 071187: Amy. Please rise’
‘Yo, bob’ she smiled to the court
‘Candidate 250312: Samantha. Please rise’
‘Y-Yes sir!’
We stood before the council. Out of the few thousands that graduated today, we were the only two who failed the program. We really were defective.
I stood there just as my holographic mother taught me. Back straight. Feet shoulder length apart. Arms crossed behind my back. Chin up. And chest out. I was so nervous, shaking from the hours of standing like that. Then, I felt her hand grab mine.
I broke my stance and turned to her. She stood as she wanted. Her posture was a complete mess. Everything about her was so wrong. But why was it wrong? For all I could see was there was fire in her eyes. Fire that burnt away 14 years of brain washing.
‘We can’t dispose of her’ a council member said
‘I agree, candidate 071187 has the highest grades in history. She’s the product that whole program was designed to create’
‘But she isn’t!’ another waved his hand, ‘She has her own free will. We wanted a soldier, but another super human’
‘Is that so wrong?’ a voiced called
Even without being programmed, I knew that voice was important. Everyone went silent in the room as a tall beautiful woman came walking in. She stood twice the height of anyone I’ve ever seen. A true giant in the flesh.
‘You,’ she spoke, ‘071187’
‘It’s Amy’
‘Right, Amy… what do you want to do?’
‘Whatever I can’
‘Hmm,’ the giant woman smiled, ‘Excellent choice. And you… Samantha, what about you?’
I stared completely scared. Unlike Amy, I was not a perfect product. I was an average piece you could find anywhere. What do I say? What can I say?
‘A fire’ I said under my breath
‘Hmm?’ the woman leaned in interested in my responce
‘A fire. I want to burn’
*****
I stared back to her before looking back at the computer. No. No, no, no, no! My hand grabbed my face as I shook with anger. With despair. With helplessness. The power was going quick. We’ll have another hour maybe.
‘How’s the story coming along?’ I asked
She didn’t turn to me but waved three fingers. 3 hours huh? We weren’t going to make it. She wasn’t going to make it. The story wouldn’t make it.
I sighed. I didn’t have the heart to tell her. I didn’t have the courage to stop her. Since long ago, I was always the shadow following behind her. The one who wanted to be by her side the most, but never could. All those feelings I had for her, what good were they if they couldn’t help her now?
I sighed as my breath came out as condensation. The heat was going too. Soon, this room would be as cold as space.
‘Hey, Amy! Suit up’ I said as I passed her helmet
She didn’t reply but before I knew it, she was already in her space suit. I put mine on as well before noticing my power pack connectors. Could it be? I pulled out some wires before smiling to myself.
‘Amy?’
‘Yeah?’
‘I can’t wait to read it’
‘Thanks, bob’
*****
‘Sam?’ I heard a voice
‘Y-yeah?’ I opened my eyes
‘It’s done’
‘What?’
‘It’s done’
I tried to rotate my body round. Man, it was hard. I didn’t realise it would be this painful dying.
‘Sorry, Amy… could you read it to me?’
‘Sure… Once upon a time-
I felt her words linger in cold air. I floated as space took my mind further into the dark. All my senses left me. All but my hearing.
In that darkness, I travelled to her world. She was god, and I was the witness. Following her emotions, I found myself in a world filled with others like Amy. They weren’t geniuses, they were… huma
n. And I saw their lives, I saw their worries, and their frustrations. I saw the darkness in them all. But, I also saw their hopes, their dreams, the bright goodness in that dark little world. It felt so familiar, as if I was remember something I forgot. All I know though, was I saw a girl guided by a faint fire.
‘Sam? Sam? Sam!’
‘Y-yeah?’ I came to
‘God, why are you so cold? What’s wrong with your suit? It’s out of power?’
‘Oh,’ I laughed weakly, ‘I can explain that… Amy… I love you’
‘Sam?’
‘I’ve always loved you… I was just too much of a coward to tell you though… I… I wanted to be a fire… remember?’
She nodded
‘I can’t remember where… but I heard a story once… not from the holographic mother… from someone else. Someone outside my cubical. They told me I was a fire… I needed to burn. Be a firework or a candle, something like that’
‘The rebel message!’ she gasped
‘Yeah… the Fires’
“I heard it too’
‘Yeah…,’ I laughed, ‘I know… I believed in it. I believed it. Amy, I wanted to be your firework… but I couldn’t. I choose to be your candle light instead’
It was then I pulled up the wires from my power pack. Amy’s eyes followed them into the wall. Being the genius she was, it didn’t take her a second to know what I did. The power to her comm. log would have run dry ages ago, but with me powering it, she was able to finish her story. I was able to do something for her at last.
‘You stupid girl,’ Amy cried, ‘You stupid, stupid girl’
‘I know’ I smiled weakly
‘The story…’ Amy leaned in closer, ‘It’s our story…’
Oh. So that was it. It was familiar. But, it wasn’t from my perspective. It was from hers. The girl I saw, it was you, wasn’t it Amy. Then… was I the faint fire? I smiled as we kissed for the first and last time.
###
About the author
“We live a imitation of life. What we do, it’s a complete forgery of what we are suppose to do.
It may not seem like it, but we too have been brain washed. What is normal, and what is not, has been decided for us by people who do not deserve that right.
Though I’m trying my best to live my life, even I’m living in this fake world. I’m trying my best to be that fire for someone, for anyone. But sometimes, I can’t fight against the world.
If I could give advice to anyone, it’s this: the world is a part of you, not the other way round. Fight against the world and tame it, otherwise the world will tame you and make you its pet. Be that fire. And burn your life for a reason”
For those who are tragically obsessed, Nobo13 was born 1987 in Cambridgeshire. He spent four years doing a Physics degree but spend most of the time doodling and writing. Currently he is somewhat of a teacher.
Nobo13’s pen name is derived from using his surname, just look above! His more unusual hobbies are collecting headphones, yoyos, staring aimlessly out the window (which consumes much of his time) and messing about with musical instruments- at the moment these are ocarinas and ukuleles.
Please check out my website and my other works, thanks for reading!
More from this author
Please check out the following links:
The Man in the Desert:
Lost in the Painting
Fixing Broken Promises
The Empty Necklace
Time left over
You can also search ‘nobo13’ in the iBooks store!
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Connect with me online
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