“Because it’s my plan,” I replied.
Just then Mum came into the room.
“What are you three up to now?” she said, her eyes narrowing.
“You’ll see, Mum.” I smiled. “You’ll see.”
Later that night, Anthony stood behind the curtains and Edward stood by the wardrobe, hidden from the door. I sat up in bed, waving my torch about in the darkness.
“How long have we got to stand here?” asked Anthony.
“Yeah! How long?” asked Edward.
“Until we catch Mum or the tooth fairy or both.” I yawned.
“My legs are getting tired,” said Anthony.
“My eyelids are getting sleepy,” said Edward. “I can hardly keep them open.”
“Well, you must,” I insisted with another yawn. “I’m just going to lie down here and pretend to be asleep so that when Mum comes in, she’ll not suspect anything.”
I snuggled down under my duvet whilst Edward and Anthony grumbled and moaned about how they always had to do all the hard bits. I struggled to keep my eyes open, I really did, but my pillow was soft and my bed was warm and my whole body was tired. So I thought, I’ll just close my eyes – just for a couple of seconds.
The next thing I knew – it was morning! And Edward and Anthony were nowhere in sight. I lifted up my pillow – and there it was. A bright, shiny one pound coin. Rats! Mum must have sneaked in after I’d fallen asleep and Edward and Anthony had gone back to their own bedroom.
I had a shower and went downstairs. Mum was already down there cooking breakfast.
“Morning, Maxine,” she said, grinning.
“Morning, Mum,” I said glumly.
“What’s the matter with you? Didn’t the tooth fairy visit?”
“I know you’re the tooth fairy, Mum, so don’t pretend you’re not,” I said.
And then Mum said something that completely threw me.
“Maxine, I give you my word that I haven’t been in your room since yesterday afternoon,” Mum said seriously. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“But you must have.” I frowned. “How did that pound coin get under my pillow, then?”
Mum just shrugged.
I had a long, hard think.
“Well? Have you solved the mystery yet?” Mum laughed.
“I think there are only three ways that money could have got under my pillow . . .” I began.
“Oh yes?”
“I put my tooth under my pillow yesterday afternoon when it came out. So either you guessed that I’d already put my tooth under my pillow and swapped it for the money yesterday afternoon . . .”
“Or?” prompted Mum.
“Or else Anthony and Edward were in on it and they swapped my tooth for the money when I fell asleep last night . . .”
“Or?” asked Mum.
“Or else there really are tooth fairies!” I said.
Mum creased up laughing. “And which theory do you believe?” she asked.
“I’m not sure,” I replied. “But one thing I am sure about – the next time one of my teeth falls out, I’m going to stay awake all night. All day and all night if I have to, until I solve the tooth fairy mystery!”
“We’ll see!” laughed Mum. “We’ll see!”
Edward’s Accidents
CR-RRUNCH! Edward raced into the kitchen and kicked the dustpan and brush flying.
“Edward! Watch what you’re doing,” said Mum.
“Sorry, Mum. I didn’t see that there,” said Edward. “I just came in for an apple.”
Edward ran over to the fruit bowl and stretched past the carton of milk on the work surface. SPLOSSSH! He knocked the carton of milk on to the floor. The milk sloshed about everywhere. CRAAASH! Edward knocked most of the fruit out of the bowl. The apples and oranges and plums bounced all over the work surface. Anthony came running in from the garden.
“Edward! What has got into you recently?” Mum asked, her hands on her hips. “All you seem to do these days is have accidents.”
“Sorry, Mum.” Edward scrambled to catch all the fruit before it fell on the floor.
“I’ll help!” said Anthony.
He ran over to help Edward catch the fruit – only Anthony didn’t see the milk on the floor. He went flying up in the air, landing with a SMAAACK!
Edward tried to help Anthony get up but he stepped in the milk and PLONNNK! He slipped over, landing with a thud right next to Anthony.
“Are you two all right?” Mum rushed over to them.
“I am. My bottom isn’t,” pouted Anthony.
I looked at Mum and Mum looked at me and we both burst out laughing.
“When you two have quite finished messing about, you can both put the fruit back in the bowl, get the mop and clean up that milk and change your wet clothes.”
“But it’ll be Christmas by the time we do all that!” Anthony protested.
“At least,” Edward agreed.
“Then the sooner you start, the sooner you’ll finish,” said Mum.
I grinned and grinned. I couldn’t help it. For once the twins were in trouble and I wasn’t!
“I’ll put the fruit back in the bowl. You can mop the floor,” said Anthony quickly.
“Oh, all right then,” said Edward reluctantly. “Where’s the mop?”
He looked round and round the kitchen.
“Edward, you know I keep the bucket and mop in the cupboard under the stairs,” said Mum.
“Oh yes, I remember!” said Edward.
And he ran to get them.
“The bucket’s not in here,” Edward called out.
I went over to him. “What’re you talking about? It’s right in front of you.”
“Huh!” Edward peered into the dark cupboard until his nose was practically touching the bucket. “Oh yeah! I see it now.”
Then Edward bent to pick up the bucket. Only he forgot the mop was in it. Before I could even so much as squeak to warn him, the mop fell with a THWACK! Right on Edward’s head.
“Ouch!” Edward exclaimed. He rubbed his sore head and pulled a face.
“Edward, are you OK?” Mum asked.
Edward nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again. I almost didn’t hear Mum’s question because Anthony was so busy laughing.
Edward scowled at him, and me, and Mum!
“I’m going to change my trousers,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll come with you,” said Mum, a deep frown on her face. “Before you get lost in the wardrobe.”
As Edward and Mum went upstairs, I turned to Anthony.
“What’s the matter with Edward these days?” I asked.
Anthony shrugged. “He’s just having a lot of accidents, that’s all.”
I shook my head. “It’s more than that.”
“You think so?” Anthony looked worried.
“I know so,” I said.
“So what’re we going to do about it?” Anthony asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “But this is a job for Girl Wonder . . .”
“And the best-looking Terrific Twin!” said my brother, modestly.
And just for a change, Anthony and I did somersaults up and down the carpet instead of spinning around.
“So how are we going to find out what’s wrong with Edward?” I asked.
“Hmm! Maybe we could follow him around?” Anthony suggested.
I thought for a moment. “D’you know, that’s a good idea!” I said, surprised.
“I do have them sometimes.” Anthony sniffed.
“OK, Terrific Twin,” I said. “We’ll watch him for the rest of the day and see if there’s a reason why Edward is suddenly bumping into things and having accidents.”
“Right!” said Anthony.
“But we’ve got to make sure that Edward doesn’t see that we’re watching him,” I said.
“Right!” said Anthony.
“So we’ll have to be careful,” I said.
“Right!” said Anthony.
“And stop saying ‘right’!” I said.
“Left!” said Anthony.
Honestly!
When Edward came downstairs again, Anthony and I helped him to clean up the kitchen. And all the time we kept a very careful eye on him. We studied everything he did, looking for possible clues. I soon noticed we weren’t the only ones who were watching him. I caught Mum looking at him as well.
And there was definitely something wrong with Edward. It was as if his arms had shrunk! He kept reaching out for things in the wrong place. His hands wouldn’t reach far enough and then he’d stretch out some more. That’s why he kept knocking things over. I thought we were being carefully cautious as we watched Edward, but I don’t think we were quite carefully cautious enough.
“STOP IT!” Edward suddenly shouted. “You’re all watching me. Stop it!”
Edward sniffed and looked very close to tears.
“It’s OK, Edward,” I said, putting my arm around him. “I’ve solved the mystery. Your arms have shrunk and you haven’t realized it. That’s why you’re always having accidents.”
“My arms haven’t shrunk,” Edward protested.
“No, that’s not right, Maxine,” said Anthony. “The reason Edward’s knocking things over is because the light in the kitchen isn’t bright enough and he can’t see what he’s doing.”
“It’s bright enough for the rest of us,” I pointed out.
“Edward, go and put on your jacket. We’re going out,” said Mum quietly. “Maxine, Anthony, you can stay with Miss Ree next door until we get back.”
“But where are you going?” I asked.
“And why can’t we come with you?” asked Anthony.
“Never mind that now,” said Mum impatiently. “Get your things together.”
And no matter how hard we tried, Mum just wouldn’t tell us where she was taking Edward.
We stayed in Miss Ree’s house and played cards and Scrabble. Then we helped Miss Ree weed her garden. Anthony was just about to dig up Miss Ree’s forget-me-nots when Miss Ree turned round and told him firmly that forget-me-nots were flowers and not weeds.
“Where d’you think Mum and Edward have gone?” Anthony asked.
“Don’t know. Don’t care,” I shrugged.
But it was a lie. I was itching to know.
Time crawled by. One hour turned into two and two hours turned into three. At last Miss Ree’s doorbell rang. We rushed to the door. It was Mum. Edward was standing hidden just behind her.
“Where were you?”
“What did you do?”
“Where did you go?”
“Why couldn’t we go with you?”
“Did you go somewhere nice?”
Anthony and I were full to bursting with questions.
Mum raised a hand. “Edward and I went to get him something he needs. Come on, Edward. Show them what we went out for.”
Edward stepped out from behind Mum.
My mouth fell open. Anthony’s eyes were as huge as dinner plates. Edward was wearing glasses!
“Edward, you look brilliant,” Anthony said. “Mum, can I have some glasses too?”
“No! You don’t need them, Edward does,” said Mum. “That’s why he kept bumping into everything.”
“Edward, they really suit you,” said Miss Ree, impressed.
“I know!” Edward grinned.
Already his head was so big, it was only a matter of time before his new glasses snapped in two!
“It was you two who put me on the right track,” Mum said to Anthony and me.
“Yeah! I’m short-sighted! Mum realized what was wrong, thanks to your silly-stupid-senseless suggestions,” said Edward proudly.
“But our suggestions worked, didn’t they? They couldn’t have been that silly-stupid-senseless if they helped Mum to find out what was wrong with your eyes,” I said smugly.
“Yeah!” agreed Anthony. “It’s just a shame Mum couldn’t fix your head at the same time!”
Anthony and the Rap Attack
“What’s the time, Mum?” I asked, wondering what had happened to our dinner. Mum had given us an apple each to keep us going until our dinner had finished cooking.
“Maxine wants more!
She’s big as a door
And wide as the floor
So it’s half-past four!” rapped Anthony.
I gave my brother a dirty look.
“Maxine, it’s ten past six,” sighed Mum. “Anthony, how much longer are you going to say everything in rhyme?”
“If I’m a poet,
I’ve got to show it!
But I won’t blow it!
You know it! You know it!” said Anthony.
“Mum, tell him!” said Edward, covering his ears with his hands and pulling a face.
Anthony was driving us all up the wall and on to the roof! For the last three days, all he’d done was talk in rhymes and raps, raps and rhymes. At first it was fun. Now it was getting on every single one of my nerves.
“You’re just jealous,” grinned Anthony.
“Pinch me, someone! I must be dreaming. I thought I heard Anthony say something that didn’t rhyme!” Mum collapsed back on the sofa.
“I just suggest
That I’m the best.
I beat the rest,
So put me to the test!” rapped Anthony.
“How about if I beat you over the head with this cushion?” I scowled at him.
“Mum, tell him!” said Edward.
Mum closed her eyes and put her hand to her temples. She stood up.
“I’m going to my bedroom to read,” Mum said very quietly. “And you three are going to stay down here.”
“Don’t leave us with him,” I begged Mum.
“Yeah, you can’t leave us alone with him,” Edward pleaded.
Anthony started blowing raspberries and patting his cheeks.
“My name’s not Freddy,
The dinner isn’t ready!
It’s got to cook.
Mum’s off the hook.
She’s going to her bed to read her library book!” Anthony told us.
“I’ll see you three when the dinner’s ready,” said Mum, even more quietly than before.
And before I could even blink, she was out of the room. I looked at Edward. Edward looked at me.
“Maxine, do something. Save me!” Edward put a cushion over his head, bending the corners down to cover his ears.
I turned to Anthony. “If you make up one more rhyme, I’ll . . . I’ll . . .”
“I’m off to the loo!
But don’t worry ’bout that.
’Cause before you know it,
I’ll be back!” said Anthony.
And off he went.
“Maxine, do something – please,” Edward begged me.
“Come on, Edward,” I said. “This is a job for Girl Wonder . . .”
“And one of the Terrific Twins who’s getting a headache,” Edward complained.
We whizzed-whirled around until we fell over.
“What’s your plan?” asked Edward.
“I haven’t actually got one yet,” I admitted.
“Then think of one – fast,” Edward ordered.
I thought and thought and thought. And at last a plan leaped into my head. I told Edward, just as Anthony came running down the stairs. Anthony burst into the room, but before he could say a word, I got in before him.
“Until you stop rhyming . . .” I began.
“Yeah, until you do . . .” said Edward.
Then Edward and I said together:
“We’ve decided
Not to talk to you.”
Anthony frowned at us.
“But there’s nothing finer,
Than to be a rhymer . . .” he began.
Edward and I didn’t let him finish. We said again,
“Until you stop rhyming,
Yeah, until you do,
We’ve decided
Not to talk to you.”
&n
bsp; “Come on, Edward. D’you fancy playing a video game?” I asked, ignoring Anthony completely.
“Yes, all right,” said Edward.
Edward switched on the telly and put our favourite video game into the game console.
“Me first,” I said, picking up the controls.
“If you’re no good at this
It won’t be much fun.
So let me show you,
How it should be done!” said Anthony.
I looked around the room, puzzled. “Funny! I thought I heard something,” I said.
“So did I,” said Edward. Then he shrugged. “We must be imagining things.”
It was really mean, I know, but Anthony was driving us bonkers!
Anthony looked at us.
“Can I play?” he said at last.
I looked at him. “No more rapping or rhyming?” I asked.
“No more rapping or rhyming,” Anthony said glumly.
“Thank goodness.” Edward breathed a sigh of relief.
“You two just don’t appreciate talent,” said Anthony.
“If you had any, we’d appreciate it,” I answered.
“Hhmm! Well, you’ll both be sorry,” Anthony told us. “You’re going to miss all my rhymes.”
Edward and I fell about laughing.
“You must be joking!” we told him.
And we each took it in turns to play our video game. Our plan had worked. We’d finally got Anthony to shut up!
For the rest of the day Anthony was very quiet. I think he missed making up his rhymes. I didn’t!
But the very next day, Edward and I were forced to eat our words.
The Zappers!
The next morning, the moment we walked into school, we knew that something was going on. Charlotte, my best friend, dashed over to me.
“Have you heard the news?” she asked.
“What news?” I said.
“There are notices like this all over the school.”
“Are you going to try for it, Maxine?” Charlotte asked me, very excited.
“I don’t know. A talent show . . . That’ll be fun,” I said.
“Maxine, we must go for it,” said Edward, excited. “Wow! A talent show.”
“We’ve got to try,” Anthony agreed.
“But what are we going to do?” I said. “Has anyone got any ideas?”