I wanted it to be real.
I want it to be real.
I wanted her to be happy, for us to live a normal life where we have a family without the constant threat of someone trying to take it all away. I long to give her everything she wants. But first, I have to find and eliminate those who wish to destroy it. The sound of Jacey’s barstool scraping across the floor as she gets to her feet brings me back to the present. She’s in one of her power suits and looks very much the Duchess this morning. She’s always been a blonde in my dreams. She thought changing her hair color could help her become someone else, but there is no magic pill. That can only happen from within.
“You’re very quiet this morning,” she murmurs as she pours out her remaining coffee and rinses the cup.
“Sorry.” I smile, attempting to put her at ease. It’s obvious that the distant Tony from last night has thrown her off. She’s unsure how to act around me now. She watches me warily as I stand and approach her. I place one hand on her hip and the other cups the side of her face. “I miss the blond hair,” I say truthfully.
She lets out a short laugh. “I hate to admit it, but I do as well. It has nothing to do with the whole blondes have more fun thing because believe me, that’s a myth.” She appears pensive for a moment, then admits, “I don’t know this person sometimes looking back at me in the mirror. I thought my hair would help…you know, give me a fresh start. But it’s a constant reminder of why I did it in the first place.” Shrugging her slim shoulders, she adds ruefully, “Leave it to me to simply make things worse instead of better.”
“I understand.” I pull the neckline of my shirt aside and point at the cross there amid the other tattoos that dot my chest. “I had that added after my father was killed. At the time, I sought comfort in what so many do when they suffer a sudden loss. You either turn to God or turn away from him when you lose someone you love in such a brutal fashion. I’ve never walked through the door of a church before, but regardless of the life my father lived, he still believed in a higher power. I think the idea that there was a hell gave him pause at times, but he believed he was living his destiny, and that it was the inevitable price he’d pay at some point. It was as if I thought having the cross so close to my heart would save him from purgatory or even make it more bearable to never see him walk through the door again. To never hear him laugh at his own jokes or to lose his shit when I blew off school for a few days and he got a call from the principal. Yes, I had an unconventional upbringing, but I didn’t really realize that fully until later. He wasn’t ever a Boy Scout leader, but he loved me. Yeah, he cursed, he smoked, and he drank. Hell, he did just about everything in front of me that the books tell you not to do around your kids.” I pause, running a fingertip along her bottom lip. “Maybe the hair helped you at the time more than you realize, just as the cross may have given me some comfort. If it’s doing the opposite now, then you change it. There are plenty of things we have no control over. But in this instance, you do. So, try it, beautiful, and see if it helps.”
She turns her face into my hand much like a kitten needing to be stroked. “I love hearing stories about your father. I know it’s weird, considering he had a thing with my mother, but I’m kind of fascinated by the man who built such an empire. His life sounds like a movie.”
“Much of it was,” I agree. “But like most people, he had his good days and his bad ones.” I lean closer and inhale the fragrance that is so Jacey. It’s delicate, floral, and utterly feminine. I could happily drown myself in it without complaint. I allow my lips to graze hers lightly, and her slight gasp has me instantly hard. I want her so much my fucking body hurts. Can’t hold out much longer. Now more than ever I need my house in order. She’s here where I’ve wanted her for so long and more than willing. Yet everything is such a fucking mess that I’m afraid to bring anything else into the fray that could cloud our judgment. If my head isn’t in the game, people could die—she could die. I keep the kiss light and unhurried. A leisurely sampling of her plump lips. I also keep a few inches between our lower bodies. The last thing I need is the head downstairs losing his mind and taking advantage of her proximity. Jacey was timid the first time I kissed her, and I put it down to nerves, but it hasn’t changed. Not that we’ve shared that many kisses, but I have the distinct feeling that no matter how confident she is in the business world, she prefers to follow instead of lead in the bedroom. We’ve never discussed our past relationships, so I have no idea about her sexual history nor do I really want to. No good ever comes from bringing up stuff like that. It could cause problems where there have been none. She’s a beautiful woman, and I assume she’s had her fair share of sexual partners, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll be immediately comfortable with me. Everyone is different, and I certainly have no problem taking the lead. In fact, I prefer it. When I deepen the kiss, things begin to spiral. Her tongue in my mouth has me ready to disregard every reason why this is a bad idea. I’ve bridged the gap between us, and we’re grinding against each other like a couple of horny teenagers. “Fuck, I want you,” I groan against the curve of her neck.
Her hands are in my hair and never has that turned me on as much as it does now. Swear to Christ, if she touches my dick, I’ll probably blow my load immediately. “Yes, please.” Her voice is breathy and low as she moves even closer.
The sound of the intercom has us both jumping as if we heard a gunshot. The next beep is accompanied by Clint’s voice. “Hey boss, I’m here. I’ll wait in the car for Ms. Wrenn.”
As painful as the throb of my dick is, I still chuckle when Jacey grumbles, “You have to be kidding me.”
My hands ended up on her ass at some point, so I give it another squeeze and then shift them to her hips. I risk giving her one last kiss on her now-pouting lips before releasing her completely. She wobbles for a moment, and I reach out to steady her until she gives me a nod. “I more than share your sentiments, Duchess. But we’ve waited this long, and a quickie isn’t what comes to mind when I think of having you for the first time.” I don’t bother to hide my painful grimace as I adjust myself to keep my zipper from cutting my dick off.
She’s giggling as she turns away, and I can’t resist slapping her ass. Her gasp of outrage is purely reflex because the expression on her face says otherwise. My girl likes it a bit rough. She collects her purse and briefcase, and we take the stairs to the bottom floor. I’m so accustomed to the layout of the club that I have no problem moving around in the dim lighting, but after Jacey bumps into a barstool, I take her hand and lead her through the maze until we reach the back door. A black BMW sedan idles in the alley. The driver’s door opens, and Clint gets out to greet us. He’s former military and was hired by Lester, as were all the security personnel on my payroll. He’s tall and built like a fucking tank. He’s wearing his usual black suit, and I wonder idly where he has them custom made. We shake hands as he says, “Good morning, boss.” Then he turns to Jacey and inclines his head. “Ms. Wrenn, I’m Clint, and I’ll be accompanying you today. If you need anything at all, please let me know.”
“Thank you, Clint, and please call me Jacey. I’m not used to having a shadow, so it will take some adjustment.”
Clint darts a look in my direction, no doubt amused by her statement since he’s been watching her for some time now. It’s a credit to his skills that she doesn’t recognize him. I clap him on the shoulder and then put a hand on Jacey’s lower back, leading her to the car. I open the back door and set her briefcase and purse on the seat for her. Then I kiss her as if we’ve done it every morning for years. And it feels just like the dream. Right. “Have a good day, beautiful. Call me if you need me…or even if you don’t.”
Her eyes are soft and her lips still rosy from our earlier kiss. “I will,” she says before folding her long legs into the car. I shut the door behind her and rap on the top of the BMW to signal to Clint to go. As the taillights disappear, my chest feels unusually tight. I fight the urge to call Clint and demand he
bring her back. I feel almost panicked that she’ll be on her own for hours today without me there to watch over her, which is irrational since Clint is more skilled than I am in every kind of combat. He’ll protect her with his life; I have no doubt.
I’m in trouble.
It’s what I’ve known since the moment she passed out in my arms. There will be no in-between. Heaven or hell awaits, and it’s too late to stop the momentum. She will either be the center of my life or the predominant reason I lose it.
* * *
TONY
I spend the morning working out some of Jax’s issues. Then he leaves to fly to Florida. He’ll visit the club there first before stopping at the other locations in Georgia and South Carolina. Normally, I would make the rounds myself, but this is not the time for me to be away from North Carolina. Jax is single and has no obligations here, so he can easily handle the traveling for now. I glance at my watch. Lee should be here any time, so I walk out the front door of the club and await his arrival. Fuck, I need a smoke. I have once again given up smoking, and it’s been rough. Stress makes me want nothing more than to feel the calm that inhaling and exhaling brings. But it’s a nasty habit I’m determined to break. Plus, there’s Jacey to consider. She made it plain when she stayed before that she can’t stand cigarette smoke, and I don’t want to subject her to something that could harm her. When I throw open the door, Lee is climbing out of his Porsche. Bet there’s no car seat in that. It’s still hard for me to reconcile the Lee I’ve always known with the family man he is now. Oh, I know with a certainty that he could and would still kill a man with a toothpick if necessary, but still, I never expected him to marry much less have a kid. For anyone wanting a little payback, Lee now has several weaknesses to choose from. His wife, his son, a daughter, and a granddaughter. Each one of them with a target on their forehead for the right person. I’m no better. “Tony,” he says as we give each other a brief hug. “Out taking a smoke?”
“I wish.” I sigh in irritation. “Trying to quit again, but couldn’t have picked a worse time. I’ll probably need to drink more now to offset it.”
I lead the way inside, and we go directly to my office. I’ve been too lax with sensitive conversations as of late. Now more than ever, as many as possible need to be held in a safe environment. I bypass my desk and take a chair in the seating area, and Lee does the same. I quickly bring him up to date on Marco along with Nina Gavino. His expression changes very little, which is what I’ve come to expect from him. A sign of panic on his part would probably freak me the fuck out. The most emotion I’ve ever seen from him was the night Jade was abducted, and we were following her cell phone signal. He kept his cool for the most part, but I knew he was deathly afraid for her. “A few days have passed, and things appear to be the same here. So I know you haven’t informed the family of the attempted hit on Marco. Otherwise, the club would be crawling with Moretti men.”
I lean forward and clasp my hands between my knees. “I decided against it. A shake-up of that magnitude would put everyone on high alert. If the person responsible is one of ours, they’ll go to ground for a while. No one would be foolish enough to make another move until the heat dies down.”
Lee studies me for a moment before inclining his head in agreement. “Very true. Apparently, Marco wasn’t meant to die, but the act was merely to get your attention. Otherwise, they would have dosed him with something more lethal. It wouldn’t matter to Rutger, though. Marco is his son, and there would be hell to pay. He will view this as an act of war, which is quite possibly the goal of whoever the hell is involved. Get the Morettis gunning for another family—more than likely the Gavinos since Nina was involved—and there is mayhem. Easier for things to slip through the cracks. Plus, a fatal hit on you would be blamed on them. Ties things up nice and easy.”
“My thoughts exactly. I’d like to avoid that. I refuse to give this bastard an easy road to taking me out. If he wants it, he’ll have to fucking outsmart me to get it.” I snort in disbelief as I say wryly, “I can’t believe all that just came out of my mouth. Fuck, we don’t even know if anyone in the family murdered my father, much less tried to take Marco out. It could be a Gavino, for all we know, or Hunter Wrenn’s claims that he engineered and executed the whole thing is a possibility as well.”
“All valid points,” Lee says. “But you don’t buy that any more than I do. We’ve both always had a gut feeling that nothing was as it appeared to be even before Wrenn and the Gavinos came into play. Don’t get me wrong. I believe Hunter did everything he fucking boasted about including taking down Draco and Victor. Yet there are things that simply do not add up. As we’ve both said many times, Draco and Victor were not careless men. Overconfident at times but not sloppy. Letting a junkie get the jump on not one but both is an anomaly that cannot be explained rationally.”
“Same. The uneasiness has only increased. Even if I wanted to let this go now, I don’t think the party or parties involved would. I’m a marked man, and my only choice is to eliminate them before they get to me or someone I love. I know this goes without saying, but for the foreseeable future, be very diligent about your family’s security. I have no reason to believe they’ll go after you, but don’t relax your guard.”
“Jade and Victor are more than covered, and in addition to the men I have on Lia and Lara, Lucian also has some as well. No one is getting close enough to touch a hair on their heads.”
I notice he makes no mention of Jacey. I know there are a lot of unanswered questions about her role in Jade’s abduction, but I’ve always believed there was something more there than we knew. “I assume you have men on Jacey as well? She’s as much of or more of a target than anyone right now.”
I see the look of distaste on his face for a split second before it once again becomes expressionless. “Of course. They stay on the sideline, but if she’s in distress, they’ll step up. You also have her covered, so I don’t see any need for concern there. She’s staying with you?”
Anyone who believes that women are the only ones who gossip amongst themselves is deluded. Men may be more covert about it, but word still gets around. And considering we have the same ties, it would be strange if he wasn’t aware. On the outside chance Jade hasn’t told him about the baby thing, which, again, is unlikely, I decide to keep my response brief. “For now, yes. I’m not comfortable leaving her on her own until I have more information.”
Lee is quiet for a moment, but he has something more to add. Finally, he says, “I never thought what happened that night would create this type of bond between you and her. Granted, I have spent very little time around her, but that’s largely by choice. My wife might be able to forgive and forget, but I cannot. She probably didn’t have an easy time as Hunter’s right hand, but she chose to remain in that role, siding with him in every instance against Jade. My wife would grieve if harm came to her, and that’s why I’ll always protect her if possible. Otherwise, I’d leave her to fend for herself.”
His words are emotionless and flat. I want to defend Jacey, yet I don’t have a leg to stand on. Anything I offer would be based on feelings, not facts. To a man like Lee, I might as well save my breath. Considering I would normally be the same, I can’t play the hypocrite and rip into him over it. When this is over, Jacey and I are having a long talk. She’s given me enough to know that she had her reasons for what she did, and I doubt they have anything to do with hating her sister. On the contrary, if my hunch is right, it’s the opposite. The only question is why? Even if it’s necessary I find out, with a monster like Hunter as a father, I really don’t want to know the answer. Lee is waiting to see how I respond. He’s always been a man who enjoys baiting people for a reaction, and it’s served him extremely well in the past. “That’s not exactly news to me, brother,” I acknowledge. “We all play the part we’re given. I believe Jacey is no exception. But I have no proof to back that up, so we’ll leave it at that. I appreciate the added protection you have on her. Regardless of our differi
ng personal feelings, any kind of loss within our circle is unacceptable.”
“Agreed. Keep me informed.”
I relax as we move past the subject of Jacey. I don’t want to be at odds with Lee, but I won’t side with him against her without a helluva lot more proof. Although if our positions were reversed and Jade was my wife, I’d undoubtedly feel the same way. “By the way, I appreciate that information on Caulder Construction. They’re starting next week. The fucking fire marshal is making us jump through hoops. Don’t get me wrong, I want my clubs to be safe, but it’s like they’re constantly adding to or amending their requirements. Anyway, if Caulder does a good job here, I’ll use them at the compound next. Lester has a list of things that need to be taken care of. Fuck, it’s always something.”
“You should try being married,” Lee quips before getting to his feet. “I need to get back to the office.” I accompany him downstairs, and we embrace once more. Fucking thankful for the man. Wonder if my world will ever come full circle like his has? Lucky bastard.
I remain in the doorway for a long time. The hair on the back of my neck prickles, and I know it’s coming. A reckoning over twenty years in the making. Outside of my small circle, who is friend or foe? A wise man would run, but the son of Draco Moretti is no coward. Never has the weight of responsibility that I carry been heavier. To be victorious, my friends and brothers in arms will have to let me fight beside them. For a war such as this cannot be won without each of us playing our parts. And I will not allow them to shield me. A fleeting image of Jacey comes into my head. I’ve never had as much to lose as I do now. And even though it fucking infuriates me to think her life is in danger because of me, my heart feels some unexplained peace.