After making love one time, I asked where the clothes had come from since they all fitted me perfectly. He said he ordered them when I came to him at Octave. He had known even then that I would be with him. My response was to pull him back down to me and it hadn’t been long until he slid back inside of me.
Thinking about that night sparked desire within me. We hadn’t slept much.
“So are you going to tell me about the new man in your life?”
I almost dropped my mug. “Excuse me?”
Amanda rolled her eyes. “Please, Ems. It’s all over you. Even now you’re blushing. I’m not an idiot. Who’s the guy?” She shook her head. “Please tell me it’s not Ben.”
I grinned. “I’m going to have nightmares now. Can you imagine? Waking up and seeing him strutting around the apartment?”
She giggled. “With nothing on except his boxers?” She pretended to stick out her gut how Ben always would. He would rest his hands on the back of his hips and stand, trying to make his gut look bigger than it did. He was always trying to convince us that he wasn’t just skin and bones.
Both of us groaned. I shook my head. “I think I threw up in my mouth just now.”
“Me too.” She giggled some more. “Remember the time he told us he could join an MMA fight club but didn’t because he didn’t want to harm any of the other fighters?”
“You’re right. He said it wasn’t fair to the humanity of the MMA standards if he fought.”
As she sipped her coffee, she shook her head. “He was such an idiot.”
“Pretty much.”
Then she sighed, “Am I pathetic for missing him?”
All of the amusement fled and I was left feeling empty. “I miss Mallory.”
Amanda closed her eyes and lowered her head. She put the mug down on the table as she cleared her throat.
I heard the emotion there. I felt some of it as well.
She said in a quiet voice, “Mallory changed, Ems. What he did to her and what you did in front of her, I think it changed her. She wasn’t the same Mallory before they disappeared.”
Anger speared me. Mallory would’ve never left without a word before it happened. But I left first. I had no right to be angry with her. Then I admitted, “I think that changed all of us.”
She wiped a tear from her eye. “It’s never going to be the same, is it?”
Her eyes held mine. There was a spark of longing in them. She wanted me to tell her everything would be fine. The gang would be back to normal, but it wasn’t the truth. I couldn’t think of a way to lie to her and make it sound convincing. All I could say was, “We can still be normal.”
Her eyes closed in defeat. “You’re different, Ems. We can’t be normal. You’re not normal anymore. I think what you did changed you too.” She opened them again and frowned at me, chewing on her lip for a moment. “It’s like a part of you died.”
A part of me did die. “I think that happens when you kill someone.”
She wiped another tear away. The coffee had grown cold by then. “I’ve been thinking about moving, leaving this place.”
“Where?” A pang stabbed me.
She shrugged. “Maybe back home. They offered me a teaching position and I could take care of my mom. It doesn’t seem like there’s anything here for me.”
I didn’t want her to go. I didn’t want to lose another friend, another part of my old life.
She had been watching me. She asked now, “What do you think about that?”
I hesitated. “I don’t want you to go. I wanted us to be friends again.”
Pushing her mug away, she leaned back and sighed. “I don’t know, Ems. I really don’t know. Things are so weird now. I have to make new friends. I have no idea where-”
“I moved in with Carter Reed,” I interjected in a rush. Then I blinked, startled, at what I had just said. Oh god. She knew. I waited, biting my lip, for her reaction. What would she say? What would she do?
A confused look came over her. “Um, what?” Her eyes lit up. “Carter Reed? He’s hot!” She seemed awestruck then. “Wow. I mean-whoa. He’s hot and rich. You’re living with him? Holy shit, Emma. No wonder you didn’t say anything. He’s like the boyfriend of all boyfriends.” Her eyes narrowed. “Wait, you are boyfriend/girlfriend, right? He’s not tossing you around, using you for sex, is he?”
I shook my head, fighting back a smile. “No. I love him. I love him a lot.” It felt good to be sharing this, talking about him to someone who didn’t think he was brainwashing me. I admitted, “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.”
Her hand reached out and she placed it over mine on the table. “Me too.” A third tear slipped down her cheek. “Me too, Ems.” She let out a timid smile. “Maybe we should do dinner every Friday night or something. No, wait, that’d be date night. Okay, Thursday nights. Let’s do something then.” She sat up. “Hey! Does that mean we can go to Octave sometime? That’d be amazing.”
I laughed as my chest felt lighter. “He owns restaurants too. We can eat at any of them, any time.”
“Oh man. Wow, Ems. That’s great.” She nodded, her lip quivering from emotion again. “That’s where you went, didn’t you? To be safe from Franco. You went to him and he protected you.”
I nodded.
Her eyes grew thoughtful and she sighed again. She looked defeated now. “Ben didn’t get that money from his job, did he?”
She didn’t have to look at me. She already knew the answer.
“I’m sorry, Emma. I’m so sorry.” Then she asked the question I couldn’t answer, one that I wanted to know, too. “Where’d they go? Where did Ben and Mallory go?”
I didn’t know, but I hoped against hope that Mallory was okay.
Carter came back the next night. He woke me when he slid into bed and I glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning. When his hand curved around my thigh, he tugged me close and rested his head into the crook of my neck. He pressed a kiss there and his hand explored my waist before it slid upwards. When it came to my breast, he spread his palm out and held me. His thumb rubbed back and forth over the peak as he murmured, “Japan was exhausting.”
Desire pulsed through me. He felt my tip hardening under his ministrations. “I’m glad you’re back.”
He moved up and gazed down at me. His eyes darkened with lust and his gaze lingered on my lips. “Me too.”
He lowered his head and my heart fluttered, ready for his kiss and ready for the hunger that always enslaved me. When he slid inside of me, I hoped that I’d never get used to how alive he made me feel. All of it took over me. It was later as he held me close and he had tucked himself around me that I wondered if he was healing that part of me that had died.
It was the next morning when he asked if I was alright.
I lowered the orange juice in my hand to the counter. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I know you. I know something’s wrong.”
A fierce surge of love rolled through me. It was overwhelming and sudden. I gasped from the intensity and couldn’t speak for a moment. I wanted to protect him. I wanted to protect us and I would do anything it took to do that.
His saw what was in my eyes and took me back to the bedroom. As he lowered me to the bed, he gazed down at me for a moment. His hand slid through my hair and cupped the back of my head. “Do you know much I love you?”
The same feeling of protection washed over me again. I could only jerk my head in a nod. My throat was thick with emotion. It was suffocating me and I gasped as I pulled him down to me, “As much as I love you.”
The next night he took me to one of his restaurants. It was one of his more exclusive ones and as he led me through to a back section, I wasn’t surprised when I saw celebrities spread through the dining area. It seemed that everyone in the restaurant emanated money. When we passed by the restrooms and three women walked out, my mouth dropped open from how beautiful they were. One called to Carter, but he ignored her and pulled me to a small set of stairs. We went to a second level that I didn’t know existed. I realized the second level was the most private area in the whole restaurant. There was only one long table for the entire level. We were able to look down over the main floor through a glass floor beneath us, but no one could see us. I remembered seeing a mirrored ceiling when we were below.
As we sat, the chef came to greet us. Carter did the introductions, but I was surprised as I watched him talk with his employee. He wasn’t faking the warmth. He genuinely liked the man. After he left us and a server brought over a bottle of wine, I asked, “How do you know him?”
He waited until the server had left, after filling both of our glasses. “Remember when I told you when I went to the Mauricio warehouse? That was Farve.”
Shocked, I murmured, “You said he was drinking buddies with your dad?”
Carter’s smile thinned. “He never approved of what my dad did. I think he took me in to make up for not stopping my old man.”
I shivered as I remembered some of the worst times Carter came over for our couch. “He could’ve protected you from him.”
His eyes shot to mine. “You protected me from him.”
I held my breath, captivated by him.
“So did AJ. You gave me a home when I needed one.”
“You kept going back.” The bitterness was still with me.
“Because I loved my father.” Darkness flickered in his depths. “I was a fool, but because of him, Farve saved my life. He gave me a third home after I lost you and AJ.”
“You never lost me.”
His eyes held mine steadily. He said, softly, “I did. I let you go so you could be normal. I never wanted this life for you.”
“This life?” I gestured around the restaurant, teasing.
“The life you would’ve had then, if I had brought you with me. For awhile there, it was hard. They had me do horrible things, Emma.”
I knew what he was doing and I didn’t care. I never flinched. I never looked away. Instead, I picked up my wine and sipped it before I replied, “I wouldn’t have cared. I don’t care now.” He was warning me away, testing to see if I was scared. “I know who you are, Carter. I’m the only one who knows you.”
I told him about Amanda that night in bed. He nodded, replying, “That’s good. You met her in college?”
I shifted down in bed, surprised that he knew that, but knowing that I shouldn’t have been. He had men watching me all my life. He probably knew more about me than I knew myself. “No, not really. I didn’t have a lot of good friends in college, none that stuck. I knew Amanda from freshman year. We were in this social club they did. They grouped a bunch of freshman together. I think it was to help jumpstart a social life. I stopped going to the club outings after the first night when I realized we didn’t actually have to be there.”
He trailed a hand up my arm, sending tingly sensations in its wake. “You didn’t become good friends with her then?”
“No, it wasn’t until I was hired at The Richmond. She teaches, but works at the café next to it during summers. We reconnected. I met Mallory before that. She was my only friend since college.” I sighed, feeling some of the emptiness from those years again. “It took me awhile to learn what good friends were like. I never pledged to a sorority but I was friends with a bunch of them during college. We went to fraternity parties, and those were the worst. To be fair, I think it was just the girls I had become friends with. They were the stereotypical stuck-up girls. I don’t even know why they were friendly with me.”
His hand moved to my hair. He started brushing it back from my face. The light touches were comforting and the old emptiness started to ease away. He murmured, “Do you not know how beautiful you are, Emma?”
Jolted, I looked up and saw the somber expression on him. My chest rose, full of warmth again, and I couldn’t speak for a moment. I saw the love from him and it took my breath away.
His thumb rubbed across my forehead and down my cheek. He cupped my chin and smiled down at me. “You have always been beautiful, Emma. I worried about you when you were in those foster homes. I was glad when they placed you with that last couple. The Jones were nice to you.” When he saw my surprise, his smile widened. “Yes, even then I was watching and trying to help you. I asked the judge to move you to their home. He agreed that it would be beneficial for you. That was the only reason he approved the transfer.”
I let out a shuddering breath. Nothing should’ve surprised me anymore, nothing when it came to him. Then I murmured, my voice hoarse, “You thought I was beautiful?”
He flashed me a grin. “If AJ wouldn’t have killed me, I would’ve kissed you a long time ago.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
The hunger started in me and I opened for him. It wasn’t long until kissing wasn’t enough and he was shifting to lie on top of me. It was later, much later, that he asked about my friends in college. I curled against his chest and pulled the sheet to cover me. His hand caressed my stomach, running in small circles.
Feeling content, I murmured against his skin, “I don’t even talk to anyone I knew from college.”
He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “You became friends with Mallory after you graduated?”
I rolled over and looked up at him. “What are you doing?”
He laughed. His hand traced down the side of my face and his thumb rested on my bottom lip. “I’m trying to understand your life, Emma. I was given reports, but that didn’t tell me what you were feeling or what you were thinking.”
“I think you have the more interesting life.”
His eyes fell flat. “No, no I don’t. I took a lot of beatings from my old man, but I never left. I didn’t want to leave my best friend and his little sister. They were my family. When someone took that away, I did what I knew how to do. I beat them up. When that didn’t make it feel better, I killed them and you know the rest. My life’s not interesting at all.”
“I think you’re underestimating yourself.”
His thumb rubbed back and forth over my lips. He murmured, “I’d rather hear about you.”
As his hand ran down my neck and in the valley between my breasts, I closed my eyes as he cupped one of my breasts and caressed me there. I murmured, “I met Mallory at my first job after school. I got hired at The Richmond later and saw Amanda again.”
“Tell me more.” He moved down to kiss the valley between my breasts.
Desire flooded me. My heart pounded against my chest. “Uh…we used to talk about guys a lot. All three of us. Mallory dated a lot of guys. Ben worshiped her, but she never gave into him. And Amanda,” my breath hitched as his tongue swept the underside of my breast, “uh, Amanda liked nerdy guys. She said it was the curse of having a wimpy dad.”
He moved further down my stomach. My hands slid into his hair and held on. I gasped, unable to speak. The ache between my legs grew with each nibble from him.
“It sound like you had fun with her?” His hand moved to my hip and he urged me to my side.
As I did, he settled behind me. My leg was lifted and he fit between them. His arm reached around me so I was held against his chest. He started to nudge inside of me. I couldn’t talk. The sensations were overwhelming me.
He murmured into my ear, pressing a kiss there, “Tell me about your friendship with her.”
I struggled to concentrate and gasped, “We laughed about our dates. And Ben.” He pushed further into me. My eyes closed and I rested my head against his. He began a slow rhythm.
His voice was husky as he murmured, “Why did you laugh about him?”
“Because he’s funny.” My throat closed off. I could only lie there as his fingers moved over my body and his hips thrust into me. “Carter,” I gasped again.
“What’s wrong?”
I heard his amusement. Twisting my head to the side, I caught his gaze. They darkened and a primal hunger burst over me. Pushing at his hips so he slipped out, I started to turn, but Carter grasped my waist. He lifted me over him and slammed inside of me in the same movement. There were no words after that. I folded over him, bending down so my chest was pressed against his as he urged my hips into a faster pace.
It was later, after we both exploded together and I was still curled over him. He was tracing my hair back, skimming his hand over my body in a soft caress before he’d move back to my hair and repeat the same motion. I was falling asleep when a thought came to me. “Do you have men watching Amanda?”
His hand tightened around my breast for a second. Then it relaxed. “No. Are you worried about her?”
“No.” I had no reason to be. Then I looked up at him. “Could I invite her to Octave one night? It’d be fun.”