“You are?”
She nodded, so earnest. “I do. I am. I was hoping, anyway. I want to apologize for my behavior before. I was in your home and I acted atrociously towards you. You saved Emma’s life, in more than one way. The only thing I should be is grateful to you. So thank you.” She threw her hand out and waited.
Carter glanced at me from the corner of his eye, questioning, but shook her hand.
She pumped their hands up and down in one firm handshake. “Thank you for doing that.”
“For what?”
“For accepting my apology. That means a lot to me.”
“You must really like Emma.”
“I do.” Her whole face lit up. “I really do. She’s very loyal and she doesn’t use me for anything. Do you know how hard that is to find in a friend?”
Carter looked at me, as if to say ‘is she serious?’ before he remarked, “I have somewhat of an idea.”
“Oh, right.” She flushed again. “I forgot who I was talking to. You’re not that imposing in person, but I think it’s Emma. You seem, I don’t know, lighter? Maybe happier when you’re with her? Not like in the meeting or when we saw you without her. You were all dark and intimidating. I still laugh when I remember Allison’s reaction to you in that meeting. You’re all lethal and hot. I think she dropped her panties the second she walked through the door.”
“Theresa.” I was not in the mood for this.
“Hmmm?”
“My friend died and I have to tell my other friend the news. Can the Carter Fan Moment wait for another day? Maybe never?”
“Oh, sure. Sorry.”
Carter touched the small in my back. “Maybe we should head inside?”
When I pressed the buzzer for Amanda’s apartment, she let us in right away. She didn’t say anything over the intercom and as we got into the elevator, I couldn’t shake an odd feeling. That wasn’t normal. Amanda usually had something to say, but I pressed the button for her floor and shook it off. Maybe it was me. The entire day had sucked.
“You ready?” Carter asked me.
I nodded. She had to know, but I wasn’t ready to feel ripped down the middle again.
When we got to her floor, I knocked on her door.
After that, everything happened in fast forward. The door was swung open, but no Amanda. It was Ben. The only thing I had time to notice were that his eyes were wild before he jerked me against his chest, turned me around, and held a knife to my throat. He swung his other hand in front of me and pointed it in Carter’s face.
My nightmare was happening in front of my face.
He had a gun to Carter, who started to lunge forward.
Ben yelled out, “I don’t think so, buddy. I’ll slice her throat. Even if you can wrestle the gun from me, I’ll cut her open. You know I’ll do it.” A maniacal laugh came from him. It was high and shrill. “I believe you’ve seen my handiwork already, huh, Mr. Bigshot-Man-In-Charge! HUH?!”
Carter stood still for two seconds. His eyes narrowed as he looked at the barrel in front of him. Then his eyes slid to the knife at my throat before he barked over his shoulder, “Run. Now.”
Ben tightened his hold on me as he tried to see who was behind Carter, but as he did, Carter reached for him. He grabbed the inside of Ben’s wrist and slammed it against the wall. The gun fell free at the same time he ripped the knife from his other hand. Surprised from the speed, Ben froze for a second. In that second, Carter punched him in the face, shoving him backwards from me. Then he twisted the other wrist. As it snapped, he pulled me free. I was shoved behind him and he kicked at Ben’s chest. From the sudden pain and force, Ben fell to the ground. He only had another second to look up before Carter knocked him unconscious with one blow to the head.
I ran inside and found Amanda on her bed. Her hands were tied behind her back with tape. There was more tape around her mouth. Dried tears left streaks down her cheeks, but as she saw me, fresh tears burst forth. She started yelling something, muffled, and I ran to her.
“Amanda, are you okay?”
She turned to her side for better access at her hands, but I couldn’t tear the tape off. I cried out in frustration, feeling panic. This wasn’t right. He could’ve killed her too. As the panic started to blind me, Carter moved me back and used the knife he’d taken from Ben. He cut the tape free and pulled the other from her mouth.
She shot forward, scrambling into my arms.
I fell back onto the ground with her, and we held each other.
She was weeping as I kept her close. I didn’t want to let her go.
“Emma,” she sobbed. Her head was buried into my shoulder.
“Shhh. It’s okay. It’s over.”
Her arms shook. Her entire frame was trembling.
“Oh my god,” Theresa gaped behind us. She stood in the doorway with a hand over her mouth. Then she shook her head and resolve came over her. She came over and knelt beside us. “What can I do?”
I opened my mouth, but I had no idea. I was only holding Amanda. I had no intention of letting her go, but Carter plucked her out of my hands.
“Carter.” I jumped to my feet and wiped my palms down my face. They were wet, from either Amanda’s or my own tears. I tried to quickly dry them but gave up. I was covered in tears. “Don’t.”
He handed Amanda to Theresa, then pointed to the door. “Take her. I have a man in the hallway. They’ll get you to the safe house.”
“That place from before?”
“That place from before.”
“Okay.” She tucked Amanda under her arm and asked, “You got everything you need?”
Amanda turned to me.
My heart melted. She looked lost and fragile. It was a six-year-old version of my friend that stood in that doorway. I nodded. I already knew what she needed. “I’ll pack a bag. I’ll bring it with me.”
Theresa chewed on her lip as she eyed Carter up and down. “That might be awhile, but I remember that there were other clothes at that place. We can use something there until you come.”
When they left, Amanda held my gaze the entire way. At the last second, before Theresa pulled her through the door, she glanced at Ben who was still unconscious on the ground. She hardened then and stopped in her tracks. She gazed down at him, almost in a sad way though. “I know what he did. He told me.”
Theresa whirled back to face me. I knew she was unsure what to do. But I knew. I stepped forward and touched Amanda’s hand. “Did he tell you that she was pregnant?”
“She was?”
I nodded. Everything seemed so bleak. Mallory shouldn’t have died the way she did. I should’ve saved her, but I didn’t know. Carter was right. I hadn’t known. “They think it was Dunvan’s baby.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered.” Amanda was insistent. “It wouldn’t have mattered, not to Mallory. She would’ve loved that baby so much. I bet she was happy when she found out. She wasn’t alone. She had someone to love...” She grasped my arm tightly. “Make him pay. I don’t care if he was our friend. He killed her. You make him pay, Emma.”
“I—”
“Promise,” she hissed.
Carter took her hand from my arm and transferred her to Theresa again. He moved so he stood between us. “Take her to the safe house. Emma will follow in a few hours.”
Amanda’s eyes still held mine as Theresa dragged her out. “Promise, Emma. Promise!”
Mike was in the hallway. He reached to close the door, but his eyes flashed me an apology before he did.
I was frozen once they were gone. A new storm had been awakened inside of me. Amanda wanted vengeance, but didn’t she understand that I was the one who messed up. I brought Mallory to him.
“Emma.”
I looked up. Carter had been watching me. He had an unreadable mask over him again. I shivered as I knew I was in the room with the Cold Killer again. He gestured to Ben. “What do you want?”
I licked my dry lips. “What do you mean?”
“What do you think?” He kicked Ben’s feet. “This is your decision. What do you want done?”
“I...”
The memory of walking into my apartment rushed back to me. I was back there, all over again as Dunvan was raping Mallory. She was whimpering, trying to fight, but he only hurt her more. He wouldn’t stop. So I had to do it.
I made the decision then. I wasn’t sure if I could make it again.
“Carter,” I rasped out. “I...”
“What do you think would’ve happened to Theresa had she talked?”
My eyes snapped to his. A surge of possession rose in me. “That was different. That was you. This is-”
“He’s already killed her. He sold you out and then he got out of Dodge. Franco got him hooked. I bet he needed something to take the edge off, he was ramped up from selling you out and everything. Franco gave him something, said it was free and it’d calm him down. Stupid shit. He was hooked after that. When he wakes up, he’ll be off his high. You’re going to have a different Ben then. He’s going to be crying. He’s going to be begging for your forgiveness. What are you going to do?”
I flinched from his tone. “Why are you talking to me like this?” He was so harsh.
Carter reached down and dragged Ben further inside. He threw him into the middle of the living room. “Because when he wakes up, he’s still going to be the son of a bitch that killed your friend. He came here for a reason. Why do you think he came here?”
“I...” I shook my head. I didn’t want to know. I really didn’t. “He’s sick, Carter.”
“Yeah,” he laughed. It was an ugly sound. “He is, but he’s smart. He’s a survivor, Emma. He survived that whole situation with Franco breathing down his back. He prospered, getting money out of the deal. What does that tell you?”
“Stop it.”
“No. You need to see the real Ben. He’s going to wake up, blubbering like a baby and you can’t buy into it. He’ll say a lot of pretty words, how he’s sorry for what did he do to his woman, but you can’t fold. I’m trying to help you see the real Ben here.”
I turned away, but he was there. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me over Ben’s body. I tried kicking, but he shifted his hold so I couldn’t move anymore.
His voice came from behind my ear. “You need to stop blaming yourself for everything that happens to your friends. You need to know what kind of animal this guy really was. Now look at him. Look at him, Emma.”
I refused.
He jerked my head down. Fine. If this is what he wanted, fine. I didn’t see anything, just Ben. He was unconscious, but I couldn’t shake the image of his wild eyes. He wasn’t moving. He was just lying there.
Carter held me tighter. “What do you see, Emma?”
“Nothing. Him.”
“Look at him. What do you see?”
What did I see? Nothing.
“Tell me what he’s wearing.”
“What? He’s wearing baggy pants. So what?” I tried wiggling out of his hold again. “Carter, stop this.”
“What’s in his pants? Look, Emma.”
Anger rose in me, but I looked. Then I saw it. There was a bag in his back pocket. “Is that what you’re talking about?”
“What’s in it?”
“I can’t see it.”
“Look. Yes, you can.”
“Fine!” Then I saw the corner that peeked out of his pocket. “White stuff. You already said he was on drugs.”
“Keep looking.”
I noticed a bulge in the same pocket and moved to get free. Carter let me go this time and I knelt closer to Ben. I pulled the bag of white powder out. Another knife came with it. His phone was in the other pocket, along with a set of keys. “What does this all mean?”
“Why did he come here?”
“What are you doing?”
“He butchered your friend, Emma. He should’ve run, but he didn’t. He came here. Why? To break the news to your friend? I doubt it. Open his phone. Look at the last number he dialed.”
I didn’t recognize it. “There’s no name saved to it.”
“Read it to me.” When I did, he said, “That’s the same number Graham dialed. My guess, it was his last connection to Franco.”
“Franco’s dead.”
A groan came from Ben and Carter hit him in the head again. No more sounds came again.
“I want to talk to him.”
He shook his head. “You’re not ready.”
“Why are you doing this?”
His nostrils flared as he pierced me with his eyes. “Are you kidding me? All you do is blame yourself for your friend’s death. I get it. You just found out today, but I’m not going to let you keep blaming yourself. That’ll screw with your head. I want you to mourn your friend, but you have to have the facts straight. You need to start doing it in a healthy way and your head’s not clear, not when it comes to your roommate. I’m trying to help you with this guy. He’s scum, but he was scum that your roommate brought in. You had no say over him. She brought him in. She stayed with him. She chose to go to him. Not you. I want you to be clear - you couldn’t have stopped her from going to this guy. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
“And making me take inventory on Ben is going to help that?”
He lifted his hands. “It’s a start. You need to really look at him for who he is. You never did. I heard you interact with him before. You thought he was annoying and stupid. You laughed at him. You never took him serious. You did what most girls do, you only see the surface. Every person gives you an image of what they want you to see. This asshole looked pathetic to you, maybe lovesick?”
Everything was swirling inside of me. I was confused by what he was saying, but I only wanted to yell at Ben. He took her from me. He shouldn’t have taken her from me. “Make him pay, Emma. Promise!” Amanda’s shout came back to me and I shook my head. She was right. I was tired of Carter’s lesson.
I started forward for him, but Carter hauled me back. His hand stayed on my arm. “What were you going to do?”
“I...” I had no idea.
He sighed in frustration, raking a hand through his hair. His shoulders bunched as he lifted his arm and the sleeve of his shirt slid down. His bicep doubled in size before his arm went back down. For some reason, I couldn’t look away from his arm. His muscle folded back into place, but every part of him was sculpted to perfection.
“Are you checking me out?” His tone held a trace of amusement.
“What? No.” But I was. My cheeks warmed and I hung my head. How could I do that? At this time, at this place?
He chuckled, “Don’t beat yourself up. You’re stalling. I’d stall too.” He sighed as he hooked a foot underneath Ben’s stomach. He flipped him over. One of his arms hit the couch and stayed there. It couldn’t slide back down from its awkward angle. Then Carter gestured to him and stepped back again. “Okay. Look at him again. Tell me what you see.”
I had no idea. Nothing. He had on a nice shirt. There was cash in his front pocket. His jeans didn’t look as baggy from the front and there were no stains. Even his shoes seemed new. Wait. His shoes were new. He was clean-kept. He had money. He had a working phone. He had drugs. My mouth dropped open.
“Getting it now?”
“He was high. I thought-”
“You thought what?” He was calm.
“I thought he was desperate and sad. Maybe he didn’t know what he had done when he...” I couldn’t say it. I should, but I couldn’t. It was too soon.
“He gutted your roommate. He murdered her and he’s not desperate, Emma.” Carter grabbed the phone, pulled out the money, and picked up the knife. “He’s got keys. That tells me he’s got somewhere to go. He’s got money, so he’s not here to score quick cash. He’s got drugs. That means he’s got his next hit already with him. And he’s got a second knife. My guess is that this is his favorite one. He used Amanda’s knife on you, and he came with a