He was practically sleeping in the saddle by the time he reached London. He’d stopped a few times along the way to rent a new mount, though only after his own was showing signs of wanting to trample him and would probably balk if he ever approached him again.
He went straight to bed and slept nearly twenty-four hours. He really should have done so sooner, because sleep really did put everything in a different perspective for him, showing clearly what a complete ass he was to have reacted as he did.
He was doing it again, pushing aside the people he loved the most. But not this time. He’d been blaming himself for something a child had done, and he’d let that child live inside him too long. He’d wanted to protect Melissa from the child, but the child was gone. He’d wanted to punish the child, but the child had been punished enough. If it wasn’t too late, if Melissa wasn’t fed up with him, he was going to get her back.
It was the dinner hour when he came downstairs. Only his aunt was present for it.
“Where’s Edi?” he asked casually as he joined her at the table, aware that he was taking her by surprise.
“She’s spending the weekend with her fiancé and his family, to discuss their wedding plans—and what the deuce are you doing back here? Have you settled everything with Melissa’s family, then?”
“Probably made things worse with them, actually,” he replied.
“Oh, no.”
“At least her uncles will have cause to celebrate,” he added dryly.
Because Henriette knew of their objections, she surmised correctly, if incredulously, “Don’t tell me you’ve withdrawn your suit?”
He didn’t answer that yet, asked instead, “Did you know that my father was alive all these years, that he died only two years ago?”
Henriette gasped. “Good God, Lincoln, who told you such nonsense?”
“My mother—and obviously you didn’t know. Uncle Richard probably didn’t know either, for that matter. She wouldn’t have wanted to risk the chance that he might take pity on me and tell me.”
She stared at him hard. “You aren’t joking?”
“No.”
He went on to tell Henriette the whole of it, up to and including his last and biggest blunder, that he’d ended his pursuit of Melissa.
“So it’s true then,” she said when he was done. “You really are crazy.”
He knew what she was referring to. He even smiled. “No, just a complete ass. It was my first gut reaction, one I should have ignored but didn’t. The thought was to protect her—from me.”
“And punish yourself.”
“That, too.”
She tsked at him. “You’re lucky that girl loves you. I’m sure she’ll understand—if you don’t take too long to rectify the situation.”
“I intend to leave for Scotland in the morning. But I’m not sure she’ll want me back. She’s already been through so much with me, butting heads with her family over me, even her parents. And she was there to hear it all. She must be thinking there will always be problems of one sort or the other that will surface because of my past.”
“Will there be?”
He shook his head firmly, said, “No, but it won’t be easy to assure her of that, particularly when I just behaved like such a bloody ass.”
“Everyone’s allowed to be an ass a few times in their lifetime.”
He snorted at that philosophy. “Not everyone hurts those they love in the process though. Were I Melissa, I’d be saying good riddance.”
“Were I her, I probably would, too.” Henriette replied with a chuckle. “Fortunately for you, your Melissa is a very special lady. But you already knew that. It’s why you loved her from the start. And you do still love her, don’t you, m’boy?”
“With all my heart.”
“Then put away your doubts. Love always wins out, don’t you know.”
“I believe only women carry that view, Aunt,” he replied dryly.
“Nonsense. Well, maybe…oh, never mind. Let’s just say I have enough faith for the both of us. Now, about the rest, I’m sorry about your father. I simply had no idea—”
“No one did.”
“I’m just amazed that Eleanor never let on, not a single clue. Her letters were frequent, but always only about you. She wanted to know everything you were doing, how your schooling was coming along, what your interests were, who your friends were—absolutely everything. If my letters to her weren’t at least three pages long in reply, she’d think something was wrong. I imagine she read them to your father. He would have been starved for information about you as well.”
“Would he?”
“Now, don’t do that,” she said, because his tone had turned skeptical. “I would imagine his decision wasn’t just prideful, wasn’t just because he wanted you to have only good memories of him. That might have been part of it, but consider this—and he would have realized it as well—that for you to have any time with him at all when he was himself, you would have had to live in that sickroom with him, just as Eleanor did. Otherwise you might never have found a chance to speak with him. He wouldn’t have wanted that for you, didn’t want it for her either, but there was no help for that. And had you known, you would have curtailed your activities, would have tried to be there more often. Such a sad situation either way. But he had Eleanor. She loved him enough to be there always. You don’t still resent that, do you?”
“No, I’m glad he had her.”
He just wished they both could have had her, as it should have been.
Fifty-Five
LINCOLN rode back to Scotland at a normal pace. Perhaps not exactly normal, since he was still in a tearing hurry. But at least when the sun set he found an inn where he could spend the night this time.
He came upon the MacFearsons the second day on the road. He was surprised. He’d really thought they’d be collectively saying good riddance to him and never venture across the border again. But then, he didn’t think they were heading south because of him, even though they stopped when they saw him and lined up across the road, a solid wall. They were good at making walls.
“Lost?” he asked as he drew up in front of them.
“Coming to fetch ye back to the altar,” Johnny said.
Lincoln raised a brow. “You mean I’m actually saving you the trouble?”
“Ye’re going back to Meli?”
“Certainly—if she’ll still have me. Does your task mean she will?”
“We canna answer that,” Ian One said.
“We left her crying her heart out,” Charles said.
“She was done crying, Charlie,” Malcolm corrected in a chiding tone.
“It was Kimberly who ordered us tae drag ye back,” Ian Four explained. “She was in a fine snit.”
Lincoln flinched. Melissa’s mother would be sorely displeased with him for running off, since she was aware that he’d compromised her daughter. And why hadn’t he recalled that before he went off to brood?
“I will endeavor to make it up to your womenfolk,” Lincoln said.
“Aye, we hae no doubt ye will.”
Another surprise—confidence in him? He began to frown. They were being far too amiable.
“Has something happened that I’m unaware of?” he asked.
“We hae some apologizing tae do.”
Ian One had said it, but there were too many nods of agreement from the rest of them. And he finally noticed that more than a few of them were quite battered.
“If you had to fight over it, don’t bother,” he said.
“Nae, the fight was needed. There was too much guilt, ye ken, when we heard it had been a fever that had made ye seem crazy back then.”
“So you tried to beat the guilt out of each other?”
“Something like that.” Jamie grinned.
“Did it work?” Lincoln asked curiously.
“No’ really, but then we dinna need much excuse for a good fight,” Jamie replied.
Adam interjected, “I speak for all o??
? us, Linc, in saying we’re sorry for the grief we caused ye. It ne’er should hae got sae oot o’ hand, but when it did, we should hae used some common sense of our own, in realizing something wasna quite right wi’ ye.”
“I was wrong myself in blaming you for my being sent away, when that had nothing to do with you, as it happens,” Lincoln allowed, then suggested, “Why don’t we do each other a favor and put it to rest? Water under the bridge and all that.”
“Let’s get ye home, then, afore Kimberly pulls oot too many hairs,” Ian One said.
Home? How nice that sounded. Yes, Scotland was going to be his home again—he hoped.
But as they opened “the wall” for him to pass through, Charles was heard to say, “Ye were too easy on us, Linc. I would’ve made us grovel a bit more.”
“Shut up, Charlie,” they almost all said unanimously, Lincoln included.
They arrived at Kregora late the next afternoon. They’d been seen coming, yet Melissa wasn’t in the hall when Lincoln entered it. And then she was, standing in the doorway to the parlor, breathtakingly beautiful with her joyous smile that told him so much, told him she was still his.
He held out his arms to her. She flew into them. Her uncles tactfully turned their backs. Her father didn’t.
Coming down the stairs to witness their reunion, he said, “Ye run off on m’daughter again and I’ll bloody well tear ye apart.”
He didn’t sound like he was joking, yet Lincoln wasn’t concerned. He was rather pleased actually. Such a statement meant he’d been accepted into the family.
“That won’t be necessary, sir.”
“Good. Now, where’s that kirkman?”
Lincoln laughed, but he was to find that Lachlan wasn’t joking about that either. It was fine with Melissa’s family now for them to marry that day, right then and there for that matter. Lincoln still had some amends to make, however, with his wife-to-be.
He pulled her aside to do just that, into her father’s empty study. He immediately got down onto his knees. She immediately tried to tug him back up. He couldn’t be budged. “I’m so sorry, Meli. Can you forgive me for—”
“Stop it, get up,” she interrupted.
But he persisted, “Can you forgive me for—”
“Aye, aye, now, get up,” she admonished.
He didn’t. “You don’t make it easy to apologize.”
“I’m glad you noticed. When you’re really needing tae apologize, I’ll make you do sae, dinna doubt it. But what you did, I understand, Linc. I know you needed some time tae digest all you learned. And I ne’er doubted you’d be back.”
“Liar,” he said with a tender smile, and instead of getting up, he pulled her down to her knees.
The door was closed. He was amazed her family was allowing this, though he was sure they wouldn’t allow it for long. But he wasn’t going to waste a moment of their privacy. He kissed her, gently, but with a wealth of passion, telling her just how much she meant to him.
“I love you so much, Meli. As soon as I got to London, I knew what a jackass I’d been, that in turning you away I was just trying to punish myself for all the mistakes I’d made. And in doing so, I was making the biggest mistake of all.”
“Shh, I told you I understand. So does your mother. She came here that day, thought you’d be here. She’s realized her own mistakes, too, and isna going tae repeat them.” And then she grinned. “You’ll find her changed, and maybe a wee bit pushy, if you give her any more cold shoulders.”
“I won’t say she should have got pushy a long time ago.”
“Good, I’m glad tae be hearing you willna say it,” she replied, tongue in cheek.
He chuckled, drew her closer, began kissing her again, her mouth, her neck, lower. He quickly got carried away. Because she was so acquiescent, it was easy to do so. She’d never deny him anything. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. It was balm and bane, knowing that, and would be until they were married in fact, not just in their hearts. But before he got too frustrated, aware that the door could open on them at any moment, he took his mouth from her and just held her close until their breathing quieted.
“Soon, Meli, just another day or two. I can be patient, now that I have no doubt you will be mine.”
“And what makes you think I can be patient?” she replied, then clasped his cheeks and began kissing him again.
Lachlan’s cough interrupted them. Lincoln started laughing this time. “I believe that answers your question.”
Fifty-Six
THEY were married two days later. Lincoln didn’t mind waiting this time—he was even the one to suggest it—since he wanted the wedding to be as perfect as Melissa had hoped for, and that required giving the guests time to get there. He had in fact sent a note to the duke and duchess of Wrothston before he left London, suggesting they go to Kregora soonest if they wanted to attend their goddaughter’s wedding. A presumption on his part, but then, like her father, Lincoln had had no intention of waiting until the end of the month to marry—if Melissa would still have him.
Megan and Devlin St. James arrived the day after he did. Their son, Justin, was with them. It was Lincoln’s Aunt Henriette who held up the wedding. Though she’d left London only an hour after he did, she’d had to detour south to pick up his cousin.
Ian MacFearson senior showed up for the wedding. What a treat, to finally meet the legend after all these years and find that he was just an ordinary man—if a little gruff around the edges. Big, barrel-chested, his hair completely gray, but still robust, he had a booming voice that couldn’t be ignored. And a seriously large family. The few wives but many children of his sons were all present. Lincoln had to wonder what he’d got himself into, until he looked at Melissa and knew exactly what he’d got himself into—heaven.
His mother was there also. There had been one awkward moment when they faced each other for the first time after her revelations. So much had held them apart for too many years, yet it took no more than her putting her arms around him for the gap to close.
“Welcome home, Lincoln,” he heard her say against his chest.
His heart wrenched. Moisture gathered in his eyes. No words were needed. All the years of pain and bitterness flowed away with that simple embrace.
But with everyone present and accounted for, the kirkman was fetched and their vows were spoken before all. It was a humbling moment for Lincoln, the culmination of his dreams, the righting of a life gone wrong. Fate had stepped in to give him all he could ask for. He now had a purpose in life—making his wife happy.
They sealed their vows with a kiss. Considering how long they’d been denied each other, it wasn’t all that surprising that the kiss became rather passionate—and didn’t stop. Nor was there any indication that it would stop. Lachlan coughed. Kimberly coughed. The kirkman coughed. Soon most of the MacFearsons were coughing and clearing their throats as well, but the newly married couple was oblivious to them all.
It was Melissa who finally pushed herself away from her husband and, with a chuckle, said to her family, “You’ve all caught colds again, aye?”
A round of general laughter followed. Lincoln didn’t blush, but he didn’t join in the laughter either. In fact, if Melissa hadn’t been immediately whisked away and passed around by her family for their congratulations, he would have dragged her off to bed and wouldn’t have felt the least qualm about telling the assemblage that they’d join the celebrations later.
He was saved a great deal of ribbing from the MacFearsons by restraining himself. Not that he cared just then. He’d much rather have his wife to himself. But the well-wishing and celebrating their joy were part of her dream. He couldn’t deny her that. And he was able to satisfy himself with the knowledge that he would have her to himself later. His pursuit was finally at an end.
Thirty minutes later Melissa dragged him off. God was good to him.
About the Author
With more than 54 million copies of her books in print and translated in
to twelve languages, Johanna Lindsey is one of the world’s most popular authors of romance. Her first novel, Captive Bride, was published in 1977 by Avon Books. Ms. Lindsey is best known for the Malory Family Series: Love Only Once; Tender Rebel; Gentle Rogue; The Magic of You; Say You Love Me; The Present; and The Sherring Cross Series: Man of My Dreams; The Pursuit; and Love Me Forever (the latter two of which are available from PerfectBound). Every one of her thirty-nine novels has been a national bestseller, with several reaching the #1 spot on the New York Times bestseller list. Ms. Lindsey lives in Hawaii with her family.
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By Johanna Lindsey
All I Need Is You
Angel
Brave the Wild Wind
Captive Bride
Defy No the Heart
Fires of Winter
A Gentle Feuding
Gentle Rogue
Glorious Angel
Heart of a Warrior
Heart of Thunder
A Heart So Wild
Hearts Aflame
The Heir
Home for the Holidays
Joining
Keeper of the Heart
Love Me Forever
Love Only Once
The Magic of You
Man of My Dreams
Once a Princess
Paradise Wild
A Pirate’s Love
The Present
Prisoner of My Desire
The Pursuit
Savage Thunder
Say You Love Me
Secret Fire
Silver Angel
So Speaks the Heart
Surrender My Love
Tender is the Storm
Tender Rebel
Until Forever