“Yes. You’ll be my bridesmaids, right?” I close my eyes and feel tears seep down my cheeks. I imagined asking them that question to the tune of squeals and hugs and huge smiles on all our faces while showing off the sparkling diamond on my hand. But the lies feel so terrible, and I don’t think I’m capable of sounding ecstatic right now. I’ll settle for solemn and pray they interpret my quiet as me feeling the gravity of the situation. But if they could see my face, the jig would be up. Despite my being an actress, Eryn and Echo know me too well for me to hide much from them.
And I’m terrified that I don’t have long to figure out how I’m going to act my way out of this snarl. If I can’t, the ploy will be over before the wedding has even started.
“Yeah. Sure,” Echo vows to me.
Eryn takes longer to respond. “You know I’d do anything for you, but I need to meet this guy before he takes my sister from me.”
She doesn’t sound thrilled. I understand. If Carson and I find a way to be together after this wedding fiasco, I might have to give up the only home I’ve ever known. It’s pretty here. Charming…but different. Where will I work? What about my aspirations? And what will I do without my sisters?
“That’s the plan,” I say.
“Are you telling Mom and Dad?” Eryn asks.
“I will, but I don’t think they’ll come.”
“Sorry, sis,” Echo says softly. She doesn’t even try to tell me I’m wrong because I’m not.
Suddenly, Carson opens the door to the office and drags in a big breath. I can’t read his face except that he looks a little shocked.
“Can you two each bring a black dress when you come? We don’t have time for bridesmaids’ gowns now and—” Carson glances my way like he’s a man with something to say. “Hey, let me call you later. I need to talk to my fiancé.” It feels so weird saying that…but I better get used to it—at least temporarily. “He just walked in the door.”
“Where was he?” Eryn quizzes.
I could have lied that he was running errands or something, but I’m already in that pit too deeply. “I’ll get the plane tickets situated and let you guys know the details, okay? I love you both. Bye for now!”
“Bye. Love you,” Echo says.
“Damn it, Ella. I don’t understand—”
I hang up on Eryn and let out a shaky breath.
“Your sisters?” he asks. “How did they take the news?”
“About how I expected. Echo is seeing visions of me in a Scarlett O’Hara-type wedding dress, walking down the grand, sweeping staircase of Tara toward a southern version of Prince Charming. Eryn wants to know if I’ve lost my mind.” I sigh. “It’ll be fine…eventually.”
“I’m sorry this is rough on you.” He grabs my hand and squeezes it. “And your family.”
“Thanks. How did it go with Kendra?”
“She’s really happy for us. She’s going to drop her ring off at my office sometime this week. Then that will be that.” He rubs at the back of his neck and gives a self-deprecating laugh. “Actually, she couldn’t wait to get off the phone with me so she could tell Brayden that she was a free woman.”
“Does she worry that if she doesn’t marry you her father will withhold her trust fund?”
He shrugs. “She says she’s been giving that a lot of thought over the past couple of days. She’s decided she doesn’t care.”
Kendra stating that she’d rather be happy than rich is not the reaction I expected. I thought she’d gladly give up her new ROTC boyfriend for all that money. Wealth is all she’s ever known. Or is she simply hoping that she can wheedle and manipulate her father into backing down? I don’t know if she’s even more unrealistic than I’ve imagined or whether she’s matured enough to stand on her own two feet because she finally found something that mattered.
“Interesting,” I finally murmur. “I guess that’s good for us. And for her.”
“I hope so. I also called the head of the charity, Roger Clarke, and told him about you. He’s more than happy to have you join the organization.” Carson rattles off a salary that’s not cushy, but more than I expected from a nonprofit. And certainly more than I was making back home. “Roger said that he and the rest of the staff are taking Monday off to recover from Friday’s benefit, but he’ll look forward to seeing you on Tuesday morning at nine. I’ll forward you his contact information, along with the office address.”
“Perfect. Thanks.” I’m actually excited to start this position, but at the same time I’m sad I won’t be able to hang around long enough to really make a difference in the lives of the kids I’m supposed to be impacting.
As if he can read my thoughts, Carson assures me, “They’ll be happy for whatever time you can give them. I promise, it will be fine.”
I hope Carson is right, but he knows Roger Clarke better than I do, so I’ll do my best to believe him. “All right.”
“After that, I called Gregory Shaw and told him you and I will be getting married. He sent me the contact info for the wedding planner he hired. I met her once. Her name is Vasha. I’ll text her number to you, as well.”
“I’ll call her and find out the details. I guess we at least need to know when to show up.” Despite the weight of our dilemma, I have to laugh.
“The wedding is scheduled for August twenty-sixth at seven p.m. at the Aria. I know that much. But I don’t have any of the other details.”
When I start thinking about everything else wedding related, a light bulb goes off in my head. “I need a dress! I can’t wear Kendra’s.” And I wouldn’t want to. “We’re not the same size.”
Carson grimaces. “Can you find something in the next couple of days?”
Like that’s a simple task? I’ve never looked for one personally, but I’ve watched Say Yes to the Dress for years. Choosing never looks easy. I don’t really want to go dress shopping without my sisters. I’ll feel alone and lost, trying to wade through a sea of tulle and satin by myself. Then again, it’s not the dress I’m going to wear for the real ceremony at my forever wedding. I just need something that fits.
I scuttle the disappointment I have no business feeling. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Do you want me to…come with you?” He must be making this offer strictly to please me, because he looks like he would rather pull out his own molars with a pair of pliers.
“I’ll only get you involved if I’m striking out. How’s that?”
He looks relieved. “Good. Call me when you find something. I’ll come over and take care of the rest.”
I nod. “My sisters will bring their own dresses. I hope two bridesmaids are enough for the ceremony they had planned.”
“We’ll make it work. I, um…haven’t even asked anyone to stand up with me yet. But I should do that.”
“Yeah.” It already seems late. “Beyond that, I guess Kendra and the wedding planner should have everything under control. Right?”
“Everything…except this.” Carson reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little black velvet box.
My heart stops. Rings. Right. I completely forgot about those.
When he opens the box, I see a simple but beautiful emerald-cut diamond set in white gold. The inside lid proclaims the gem is from Tiffany.
I gasp. “It’s beautiful.”
“It was my mother’s. This is the ring Craig gave her when they got engaged.”
With just two sentences, our fake marriage suddenly feels very real.
“Oh, no.” Frowning, I take a step back. “I shouldn’t be wearing that.”
“Why not? You said you like it.”
“I love it. It’s elegant and timeless and…” I take a deep breath. “But what I think doesn’t matter. Your mother’s ring means something. It should only be worn by the woman you truly intend to marry.”
His face tightens as he watches me with softening blue eyes. “How do you know that won’t be you someday?”
My response is instant. I go warm and gushy insid
e. It’s so girly and stupidly, hopefully romantic, given the situation. I need to temper myself.
“But right now, do you really want to dishonor something so special with a lie?”
“Well, look at this as being practical. The ring is handy. Mom would understand. After all, she loved Edward enough to free him to be with Sweet Darlin’ because he needed it more than he wanted her.”
With two workaholic parents, I completely understand what he’s saying. “Why didn’t Kendra wear this?”
Carson hesitates. “It…didn’t seem like her, and she wanted something in rose gold. But you wearing my mom’s ring will make our engagement seem more real.” He pauses and caresses my cheek. “Most important, I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather see with it on her finger. Will you wear it?”
Something fluttery stirs in my stomach. Nerves. Excitement. I’m too afraid to call it anything else.
I look up at Carson, lost in his gaze. Some foolish part of me wishes he was proposing for real. Not that I’m ready to take that step with him…I don’t think. God, I’m confused. Everything is happening so quickly. My brain is telling me to slow down, think smart, do whatever I can to mitigate the damage to my heart later. My emotions are running wild, and every bit of me simply wants to say yes and fling myself against him, join with him. Stay with him.
Suddenly, I’m fighting the sting of tears, the trembling of my chin. “Are you sure?”
“Hey, don’t cry, sweetheart.” He leans in, kisses my forehead, my nose, my lips. He lingers there, not deepening the contact, just taking comfort from our closeness, as I am. “Please.”
Without meaning to, he pries open my heart in a way I can’t seem to stop. I can’t say no. “I’ll wear it.”
And I already know the day I have to take it off and give it back will hurt so badly.
Carson smiles my way as he plucks the diamond nestled in the box. “Give me your hand.”
This would be so much easier—and less real—if he didn’t put it on my finger as if I were really his bride.
“That’s okay. I’ll do it.” I hold out my hand to him, palm up.
He scowls as he spends a long moment glancing between the ring in his grip and the expression on my face. Finally, he sighs and gently sets it in the middle of my palm. The metal is cool against my skin. The diamond shines like white fire, brilliant and beyond lovely. As a symbol of eternal love, it’s absolutely breathtaking.
“It’s just under two carats, and my mother always said it was a joy to wear. It matched everything and connected her to the man she loved in a way that made her feel safe.”
As I ease it onto my finger, I suddenly understand. It fits perfectly. In the right circumstance, its weight would be a subtle reminder of my groom’s care and commitment. But this isn’t real, and I need to keep reminding myself of that. “I’ll take good care of it. I promise.”
Carson takes my hand, looking a little choked up at the sight of his mother’s ring there. “I know you will. It looks perfect on you, by the way. I have the matching wedding band in my safe, along with my stepfather’s ring.”
Breaking his gaze, I nod. I can’t look at him anymore without wishing circumstances were different, despite how illogical that may be. If I don’t change the subject or lighten the mood, I’m going to be sucked down into this whirl of hope, desolation, and yearning that hurts too much.
“I’ll…um, call this wedding planner and leave her a message. Hopefully, she’ll get in touch with me on Monday.”
He nods slowly, as if he’s reluctant to accept the change in subject. “How about on Friday we head down to the venue so we can see it together. We should also go apply for a marriage license since it’s only a few blocks away.”
I gulp. I suppose we have to go through the motions to make it look real, but… “Do we have to do it in person?”
“I assume so. I don’t know for sure. Both Kendra and I were dragging our feet, so we never got around to it.”
That doesn’t surprise me. “I’ll talk to the wedding planner, but you’re probably right. I…um, guess Friday would be good. If Roger is all right with it.”
He nods as if the matter is settled. But nothing else is. “You going to be all right, Ella? Is this too much for you?”
It can’t be. He needs me. “I’m fine. It’s just more emotional than I thought.”
“It is.” He hesitates. “But I’m here if you need anything.”
“Space,” I say finally. “I need some time to process all that’s happened. Alone.”
Carson gnashes his teeth and looks hesitant to leave me, but he nods. “I’ll head into the office for a few hours so you can have the place to yourself. I’ll pick you up about six for dinner.”
“I’ll be ready,” I promise as he retreats into the bedroom to get showered and dressed.
I sit on the sofa, feeling shocked and overwhelmed and staring at the winking engagement ring on my hand, wondering how I’m going to make it through this without falling apart.
CARSON
Friday rolls around. The six days between the moment Ella and I got “engaged” and this afternoon have flown by. She’s been settling into her new job and coming back to my place every night with a glow in her eyes and a smile on her face, talking about the great holiday programs for kids the organization has in store. They’re even planning a rendition of A Christmas Carol, as well as story time with Santa every Saturday in December.
The past few evenings, we’ve been eating her healthy dinners and drinking wine while I listen to her excitement…only to see the light die from her eyes the moment she remembers she won’t be around to witness any of her plans come to fruition.
The nights are, in some ways, worse. Oh, they’re full of pleasure—desperate, ravenous, blistering ecstasy that’s undoing me and bending my soul. I fall asleep in the wee hours of the morning panting, drenched, and completely wrung out…only to roll over again every morning and take Ella hungrily before I drop her off at work and head to the office myself. It’s as if we both feel the countdown of the ticking clock and don’t know how to stop it.
I glance at my computer screen. Why is it barely after one? Because I’m eager to be out of here, to see the venue where Ella and I will marry—or pretend to—while I try to think of some way to convince her that maybe we should consider exchanging vows for real. It’s soon, I know. I don’t want to rush her. She deserves to feel certain, and we’d have to talk long and hard about how we would be married when we live on opposite coasts. But I’m not ready to let this woman slip through my fingers. If I do, I’ll be losing the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
And deep down, I fear I’ll be making an irrevocable mistake.
Suddenly, I hear a knock on my office door.
“Come in,” I call. I may as well stop pretending I’m studying this spreadsheet, trying to draw any relevant financial conclusions.
The handle turns with a little click, and Cora peeks her head in, her silvery hair making her green eyes all the more vivid. “You have a guest. Kendra Shaw is here with a…friend. Are you available?”
She must be here to return the engagement ring I bought her. No idea what I’ll do with it. eBay, maybe? I also have a suspicion I know who her “friend” is. This should be interesting…
“Show them in.”
I try to close down the worksheet with sensitive financials, but the computer freezes and I can’t seem to get the file saved before I hear Kendra’s high-pitched, southern-flavored voice. “Hi, Carson.”
I turn and swallow a curse, using my body to block my screen. I already know that Kendra has no interest in anything that involves Sweet Darlin’—or her father’s company, Dulce Lama. She’s not interested in business at all. But I know nothing about the hulk beside her wearing a uniform that bears a striking resemblance to dress blues. His hair has been shaved so short I can barely discern it’s some sort of brown. He has dark eyes that observe everything and wears an expression that’s no-nonsens
e.
“Hi, Kendra. You must be Brayden.” I extend my hand in his direction.
He shakes it with a firm grip that’s a tad too close to crushing for comfort. It’s a subtle warning to stay away from his girl. I hold back a laugh. He has absolutely nothing to worry about from me.
“I am.” His voice is as clipped and unwelcoming as his expression.