With an embarrassed startle, she stopped mid-sentence and closed the cover. “I like to think he can hear me,” she explained quietly, looking to the lycan medic. “The doctors say it’s possible with coma patients.”
“I’ll leave you to it,” the lycan replied, offering Lauren a kind smile before retreating.
“He’s in a coma?” I asked. I’d known he was unconscious and in a pretty dire state, but I hadn’t realized it had gotten this bad. He looked so peaceful, tucked beneath the hospital sheets, all three of his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling steadily. On his wrist, the blue nudus still glowed faintly, clinging to life.
She nodded. “He slipped into it early this morning, when I wasn’t around. If Angie had just let me come here last night, when I’d wanted, I might have caught him in a better state.” Her tone wasn’t angry or bitter, but desperately sad.
“You needed rest, too,” I said, moving over to sit on the edge of the bed.
“It could’ve waited.”
“I’m sure he’ll wake up again, and when he does, he’ll be so glad that yours is the first face he gets to see,” I assured her, fighting back tears at the sight of my best friend’s heart breaking before me. “Has he been conscious at all since you’ve been here with him?”
She shook her head despondently. “Not exactly. He murmurs things now and again and moves in his sleep, but he hasn’t opened his eyes. He seems to be drifting in dreamland right now.”
“What does he talk about?” I wondered, remembering how he’d thought only of her when I’d tried to treat him in the med bay of Commander Mahlo’s cloaked ship.
“Different things,” she replied sadly. “He talks about me sometimes. Other times, it sounds like he’s telling his nudus to leave him. I like to think they’re arguing, inside his head.” She managed a small smile, though it didn’t come anywhere near her eyes. “And then, in the rest of his more alert moments, he mumbles things about the Stargazers.”
My eyes went wide. “The Stargazers?”
“I thought he didn’t speak about them much,” Navan added, his tone curious.
“I don’t think he knows what he’s saying, or who he’s saying things to,” she replied. “All the time I spent on his ship, I pestered him to tell me more about them, but he wouldn’t—it was the one thing he refused to talk about in any detail. Honestly, every snippet he mumbles makes me wish I could get my hands on a book about the Stargazers, but everything about them is shrouded in secrecy.”
“What sort of things does he keep saying?” Navan pressed.
“He’s mentioned a mind map, and a planet with black lakes and crystal oceans. He talked about the person who rescued him from the brink of self-destruction,” she explained, her brow furrowing as she gazed at Stone. “The last thing he said about them was, ‘In times of great peril, find the Stargazers.’ He’s said it a couple of times, actually.”
It reminded me of what Galo had tried to say, just before the chip in his neck had exploded and killed him. He’d told us to “find the Star—” before death had silenced him. I’d already suspected, back on Killick’s cruiser while we were telling our stories, that Galo might have been trying to tell us to find the Stargazers. Lauren’s words only confirmed it, but it left me in the same predicament that it had back then—how could we find the Stargazers’ planet, when it took someone who’d been there to find it again? Stone had been there, but he was in no state to take us anywhere. The planet’s location was a secret for a reason, and we didn’t have the means to get there.
“What do you know about them?” I asked, turning to Navan.
“Not too much. They’re more like fables these days. Hardly anyone has ever actually met one in real life, although we know they do exist and have existed for far longer than any other species,” he replied thoughtfully. “They’re hailed as the oldest race in the universe—here from the very moment of its beginning, possibly even before, depending on which story you believe.”
Lauren nodded along. “Apparently, they used to police the universe before any kind of organization had been formed. When planets and galaxies were in their earliest stages, with species emerging, they kept an eye on everything. As races developed and expanded, branching out into the rest of space, they were there to keep the peace.”
“There are some people who think they’re the ones who created the Fed in the first place, to police the universe in their absence. I guess they got tired of fighting other peoples’ wars all the time and figured they’d get someone else to do it,” Navan mused bitterly. “You can’t exactly blame them.”
“Either that, or they wanted all of these species to work together, to keep the peace and take responsibility for the universe they live in,” I chimed in. “I mean, how would anyone ever learn anything if the Stargazers came to their rescue every time something went wrong?”
Navan frowned. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
“You know what, I think you’re probably right,” Lauren said. “It would explain why they only get involved when truly terrible things happen, like the wiping out of Stone’s people.”
“They came to investigate. They didn’t stop anything,” Navan corrected her.
“It’s like Riley says—maybe they just don’t interfere anymore.”
Navan pulled a face. “If that’s true, then it’s probably a good thing they’re impossible to find. I doubt they’d help us, even if we asked.”
“But Stone isn’t the only one who has said something about finding them, Navan,” I said. “Galo told us the same thing. He said we should seek them out, remember?”
“I know that’s what you suspected he meant, but why would he have suggested such a thing? How could he have possibly expected us to find, much less make allies of, a ridiculously elusive species? I’m still not convinced he wasn’t trying to tell us to hide near a particular star, instead.” Navan sighed wearily. “We’ll never know what Galo was really trying to say to us, and I don’t think we can jump to conclusions, however desperate we might be for a glimmer of hope.” He smiled, giving my hand a comforting squeeze.
“You don’t think they’d help us, if we found a way to get to them?” My hopes were dashed. I’d expected Navan to be on my side in this, but he didn’t seem convinced that the Stargazers were a viable solution to our problems.
It was Lauren who came to my rescue. “I think they might. Stone always spoke highly of them, whenever he did say something about them,” she insisted, reigniting my hopes. “In fact, just before we left to start building the nudus shield, he mentioned something about them to me. He was hugging me, saying goodbye, when he said, ‘If this all goes tits up, Ren, I’ll do it for you.’ I wasn’t sure what he meant, and I didn’t have much time to ask, but now I’m wondering if he was talking about finding the Stargazers and getting them to help us.”
“You really think so?” My heart was thundering with excitement.
Navan frowned. “I think that’s a bit of a leap.”
“Not when you know Stone the way I do,” Lauren replied, with a shy, secret smile.
“Well, even if you’re right, we can’t find them without Stone. He’s our only lead toward finding them, and he’s… well, he’s not in the best shape.” He sounded exasperated, and I shared in his frustrations. It seemed like, once again, we were so close and yet so far.
Still, I was determined to cling to one positive in all this mess. If the Stargazers were out there somewhere, shrouded in their ancient mystery and fabled secrets, perhaps they were watching us at this very minute. I allowed myself to believe it, because I needed to believe in something right now.
Chapter Nineteen
Another day passed in a flurry of military planning, ship maintenance, and gathering resources. Every hour was spent in endless meetings, peppered by silent, exhausted meals and the eventual collapsing into bed at the end of it all, knowing I was going to have to do it again the following day. The end of the ceasefire was approaching fast, and we
needed to know what we’d be facing when the treaty finally broke.
The nudus dome wasn’t like the invisibility shield; the Fed agents couldn’t clearly see anything beneath it, not even heat signatures. We were going into the retaliation more or less completely blind. There were still a few agents hiding within the dome who were feeding back information where they could, but the transmissions were fuzzy, revealing nothing much. Plus, it wasn’t as though they could get inside the alchemy lab, where all the rebel preparations were taking place. They couldn’t get onto either of the queens’ flagships, either, not without raising suspicions or risking the treaty being broken early. Warrior Anai had been forced to call away the Rexombran assassins who’d remained beneath the dome, knowing they would pose the biggest threat.
The only one still within the walls was Alfa. He’d promised not to strike against the queens or the rebels, but he’d reported that Gianne and Brisha were still there, on board their individual vessels, honoring the ceasefire. For now, at least. It was good to know he was still alive, though I had no idea how he was keeping himself hidden.
On the morning of the ceasefire’s final day, I found myself in the echoing hangar of Lunar HQ, helping Navan with final repairs on the ships that would be flying into battle. Bashrik had gone to fetch more supplies from the engineering department, Lauren had headed back down to the medical wing as soon as the sun came up, and Angie had gone to sit in on a meeting with Xiphio, Commander Mahlo, Agent Phocida, and Warrior Anai. She’d insisted on going instead of me, knowing I was too exhausted to focus on planning and numbers and endless organization. Besides, the Fed needed every engineer and mechanic they had to get the ships ready for the end of the ceasefire, and it just so happened that I was one such person.
“Riley, can you pass me that nano-connector?” Navan asked, reaching an arm out from under the belly of the ship.
“I’m just using it on the weapons drive,” I replied, grinning as I leaned down to kiss his hand. There was something therapeutic about fixing engines, focusing on the mechanical details instead of the upcoming battle that might wipe us all out.
He stuck his head out, snatching playfully at my hand and bringing it down to his lips. “I went to see Farl yesterday, by the way. I was going to tell you when I got back to the room, but you were fast asleep, and there wasn’t time to tell you this morning, with everything going on,” he said, unexpectedly. There was a note of guilt in his voice, as though he’d just gathered the courage to tell me.
“Oh?” I was pleased he’d made the step. Farl probably deserved a face-to-face meeting with the man who’d killed his brother.
“We talked about his brother and what happened to him in Alaska.”
I grimaced. “How did it go?”
“Badly. But I’m not sorry I did it. I thought it was about time I made amends for what I’d done,” he explained. “I won’t be able to say sorry to the families of everyone I’ve killed over the years, but I figured this was a step in the right direction. I want to be the kind of man who doesn’t rely on violence to solve his problems; I want to be a better man than that, once these wars are over. I want to keep making those steps… with you by my side.”
I gazed at him in complete admiration, feeling as though we were in our own little world. I couldn’t hear the clang of machinery, or the echo of engines whirring, or the shout of frantic mechanics struggling with a relentless workload. I wasn’t envisioning Ezra or Brisha or Gianne, or the fighting that would ensue. It was just Navan and me, and our hopes for the future. Until this moment, I’d forgotten a future could even exist beyond what was happening with Earth.
“I’d like to be a better woman, too… to make amends for the things I’ve done,” I murmured, pulling him out from under the ship. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips fiercely to mine, running his hands through my hair, holding me against him. It had been a while since we’d had some alone time, given how exhausted I’d been since arriving at Lunar HQ, but I felt my passion flaring as our kiss deepened.
“You don’t need to make amends,” Navan whispered against my lips. “You haven’t done anything that you weren’t made to do by the terrible acts of others.”
I wished I could believe that, but I wasn’t naïve. I knew I’d done some terrible things since leaving Earth, which were going to take some atoning for. And I knew there was going to be more I had to do to protect my planet, after this war had come to an end, one way or the other. It wasn’t going to be easy, but, ultimately, I knew my heart was in the right place—I just wanted the chance to be good again.
“What the—?” My attention was distracted by a large group of agents escorting a figure out of the front entrance of Lunar HQ, onto a waiting ship. I didn’t need to be close to know it was Orion, with Commander Mahlo trailing behind them, her shoulders sloped in defeat.
“What’s the matter?” Navan asked, leaning up to kiss me again. I pressed my palms to his chest, pushing him gently away as I took off across the hangar, heading toward the leaving party of Fed agents. There was a silent pause, until I heard him run after me.
“What the hell is going on? Tell me you’re not thinking of going through with that ridiculous deal,” I snapped as I neared the group, coming to a halt in front of the commander. Orion was already halfway up the loading ramp of the waiting ship, his entire body clad in electrified chains and magnetic cuffs.
Commander Mahlo’s face looked hollowed out, her eyes dim. “I have no choice, Riley.”
“Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“If it can save the lives of our agents and the humans who are trapped in the base, then we have to risk it,” she insisted. “A vote has been taken, and the majority has spoken.”
I gave her a hard stare. “What, and just hope it doesn’t turn around and bite us in the ass?”
“Your hunch might be wrong, Riley. Ezra might not be betraying Orion. He could be telling us the truth and mean well with this deal,” she said, though her voice was too resigned to be convincing. “Even if he has betrayed Orion, he may still wish to have Orion back, regardless.”
“This is a terrible idea, Commander. You’ve got to see that this is beyond stupid!”
Navan put his hands on my shoulders, squeezing lightly. “Riley…”
I ignored him, intent on getting a straight answer out of Commander Mahlo. “Have they made you do this?”
“A vote has been taken,” she repeated.
“They have, haven’t they? They’ve forced you into handing Orion back, even though you know Ezra is up to something!” I tried to get her to look at me, but her gaze had moved past my shoulder, toward Orion. “This is only going to end badly.”
“It’s a risk we have to take.” Her voice was practically robotic, reciting the party line.
“Well, let him come to you or meet in neutral territory, at least. Use this opportunity to get him to take down the shield for a moment,” I urged her, but it was too late. They had already loaded Orion into the ship, with only two agents retreating down the gangway.
“We’ve already thought of that. He has promised to meet us outside the dome,” she said.
“That doesn’t mean anything, Commander. If he’s promised to meet you outside the dome, then he’s definitely got something planned. He wouldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable without having a contingency plan.” Panic rose through me. “Either he’s going to attack you, or he’s got a way of snatching Orion and making a run for it.”
“You should know by now that I would not put my people in harm’s way without having looked at the problem from every angle,” she said, her tone cold. “We have accounted for an attack. The unit is heavily armed in case the situation goes south, and we have plenty of soldiers who will form a guard around Orion. No exchange will be made until we get our hostages back. Besides, we have several soldiers wearing nudus. They will protect our ship from any damage.”
“Ezra has nudus-wielders, too, Commander.” I
paused uncertainly. “Well, he has one wielder, but he might have found a way to coax the nudus onto other bearers. He’s sneaky, and I wouldn’t put it past him. If he’s managed to do that, then the rebels could easily bypass any shields you make, not to mention the fact that they can snatch Orion and run back into the base with him.”
Commander Mahlo sighed impatiently. “I am aware that neither group has the advantage in this scenario, but we have accounted for every eventuality. I assure you, we will be fine. He will not escape us, and he will not take us by surprise. If this works, we will have our people back, and we will have saved a large quantity of the humans. That can only be deemed as a win.”
I glanced around frantically, wondering what I could do to help. If they were doing this, against the commander’s better judgment, then I wanted to be part of it. More than anything, I wanted to make sure Ezra didn’t get away with any of his usual underhanded tricks.
“Might I request permission to escort the transport ship, in a smaller vessel?” I asked, catching sight of the ship we’d arrived in with Orion. Given that it was a rebel ship, I figured it might offer us a small advantage, confusing the rebels for just long enough if they saw it on any radar.
She shot me a weary glance. “You may form a team if you wish, though you will have to be quick. The transport leaves in fifteen minutes.”
Without wasting another moment, I turned to Navan. “Let’s go and get Angie, Bashrik, and Xiphio. I’m sure they’ll be willing to come with us.”
“What about Lauren?”
“Let her stay with Stone. Right now, she’s probably too full of vengeance, and I don’t want her doing anything she might regret.”