“Yes. Definitely.” Molly pulled a tissue from her purse and handed it to Wendy. Then she took one for herself and pressed it beneath her eyes. “Anything else?”
Wendy looked at Joey again, at his towheaded hair and his earnest face, his precious smile. “That’s all.” She took a step back. “Can I have a few minutes with him?”
“Of course.” Molly signaled to Allyson Bower, and then to Joey. “Mommy will be right outside, honey. Mrs. Porter wants to talk to you for a little bit, okay?”
“Okay.” Joey looked less nervous than before. “Then we go home, right? To Gus and Daddy?”
“Right, buddy.” Molly waved at him, and then she and the social worker left the room and closed the door behind them.
Wendy drew a slow breath. This was it. She crossed the room and sat on the sofa next to Joey. “Hi, honey.”
“Hi.” Joey still held the book, the one Allyson Bower had been reading to him. “Where’s the other daddy?” Joey peered around her, his eyes suddenly fearful.
“He’s not here. You won’t see him again.” She looked into his eyes, and suddenly she was back nearly five years ago, lying in a hospital bed, looking into those same eyes, her heart breaking. Trying to find a way to say good-bye. I’m doing this for you, child of mine. Only for you. She smiled at him. “You won’t be coming to Ohio anymore, Joey. Do you know that?”
He nodded. “I asked God for that.”
“Oh.” She felt the cut in her heart go a little deeper, but she smiled anyway. “I’m glad. You keep talking to God, okay?”
“Okay.”
She could still feel the way he felt in her arms that morning, hours after his birth, still smell his newborn smell and hear his little coos as she cradled him close. He was her son, her very own. She would only walk away now because she loved him—just like she’d told Molly Campbell.
Joey cocked his head and studied her. “How come you’re sad?”
“Well—” She caught her breath. The tears came, but she kept her happy face. “See . . . today I have to say good-bye.” She held up her good hand. “After today I won’t see you again.”
“You won’t?” He was so young, so unaware of the battle that had been raging around him. It hadn’t dawned on him that if he wasn’t coming back to Ohio, then he wasn’t coming back to her, either. He frowned, his eyes locked on hers. “Good-byes are sad.”
“Yes.” She wanted to hold him, hug him close and memorize the feel of him one last time. But that might scare him, especially with the Campbell woman out of the room. So instead she did what she’d done a few weeks ago when they sat on the couch and watched Bear in the Big Blue House.
She reached her hand out and took hold of his fingers.
He grinned and tucked his hand all the way into hers, the way he’d done before. “I like you.” His smile fell off a little. “I told my mommy you were nice.”
“We had a good time, didn’t we?”
“You rubbed my back.” He smacked his lips. “You told me, ‘Mama loves you, Joey.’”
Wendy opened her eyes wider. “That’s right, honey. I said that.” He’d heard her? Those nights when she thought he was asleep, he’d heard her words of love. It was something she could hold onto, a last memory.
With all her heart, she wanted to think that somehow he’d remember her. The chocolate-chip cookies and holding hands on the couch and her voice whispering, “Mama loves you, Joey.” But time wouldn’t be that kind. A year from now he’d be five, almost six, and the nice lady in Ohio would be only a dim memory. One more year and she’d be forgotten altogether.
She gave Joey’s hand a squeeze. God . . . don’t let him forget me. Please. It would take a miracle, but that was God’s territory. “I gotta go.”
He seemed to sense the significance of the moment. For a long time he looked at her, then he stood up on his knees and put his arms around her neck. “I’ll miss you.”
“Ah, sweetie.” She gathered his words to the most tender places in her soul. They weren’t words of love, exactly, but they were close. And they were the most she would ever get from her precious little boy. “I’ll miss you, too.”
They stood up, and once more Joey tucked his hand in hers. She led him to the door, opened it, and nodded at Molly and Allyson a few feet away.
Molly hesitated. “Are you . . . are you ready?”
She would never be ready. “Yes.” She closed the distance between them, and then she took Joey’s hand and slipped it into Molly’s. She bent down and kissed his cheek. Then, in a voice too pinched to be heard, she mouthed the word, “Bye.”
She gave a final look to Allyson Bower, and through eyes blurred with fresh tears, she found her way to her car. She had lost so much because of Rip. Her youth and her ability to stand on her own, her health and most of all her golden-haired son. She would never see him off to kindergarten, never see him ride a bike or play with his dog, Gus. She would never watch him excel in school or graduate from high school or marry his college sweetheart.
The tears came in torrents now.
Wendy climbed into her car and let her head rest on the steering wheel. Saying good-bye to Joey was the hardest thing she’d ever done. This time more than right after his birth, because now she knew him. And she would never, ever forget him. Yes, she had lost more than she would ever be able to count. But the important thing was this.
Joey had won.
And because of that—in some sad, heartbreaking way—they had all won.
Even her.
Molly spent another fifteen minutes visiting with Allyson and talking about Joey. The last few weeks had been an emotional rollercoaster—signing adoption papers for Joey, knowing he was theirs forever, but then realizing the sacrifice of Wendy Porter, the gut-wrenching sadness of her good-bye.
Allyson had brought all the pieces together, and now the woman looked happier than Molly had ever seen her.
“I need to say one thing before you go.” Allyson crossed her legs and leveled her gaze. “I don’t blame you for what you were going to do.”
This was touchy territory. No question, she and Jack had been planning to break the law. If they’d done it and been caught, they would’ve gone to prison for many years. Molly didn’t want to admit to anything, even now, when the entire plan was nothing more than a bad memory. Instead of responding, she only nodded, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
“I was prepared to go to the police, because that’s my job.” Allyson brought her lips together. She tapped the spot above her heart. “But in here I would’ve been cheering you on.” She looked at Joey. “This case, the situation, it worked out like it was supposed to work out. That doesn’t always happen.”
Joey looked up at her. “That’s ’cause God made it happen.” He grinned. “I asked Him.”
The women exchanged a look, and Allyson laughed. “Well, that settles it.”
After a few more minutes, their visit ended. Allyson wished them well, and they set off in their rental car back to the airport. They had done the trip in one day, and Jack would be waiting for them back in West Palm Beach when their plane landed.
Somewhere, headed back to her house in Cleveland, Wendy Porter must still be crying, Molly had no doubt. Knowing Joey, spending time with him, would’ve made the sacrifice all but impossible. She thanked God every day that the woman had found the courage.
Wendy’s broken arm told Molly pieces of the story the social worker wasn’t able to tell. Rip must’ve gotten violent again, and that would’ve been enough to convince Wendy. She couldn’t expose Joey to that sort of abuse. Never. Because she really did love him.
Molly and Joey walked hand in hand, and they were almost to the car when Joey gasped and pointed. Across the street was a field and something Molly hadn’t noticed until now.
“Dandelions, Mommy!”
She stopped and looked. The field must’ve held a million dandelions—just like Fuller Park. How close had they come to making a crazy decisi
on, to doing things that went against the law, and their consciences, and most important—against God Almighty? She shivered and held a little tighter to his hand. “Yes, buddy. Lots of dandelions.”
They climbed into the car, and as Molly buckled Joey into his booster seat, she rubbed her nose against his. “Eskimo noses.”
He did the same and giggled. Then he batted his eyelashes against hers. “Butterfly kisses.”
“I love you, Joey Campbell.”
He giggled louder. “Love you, too, Mommy Campbell.”
Before she pulled away, she looked at him. “You know something, buddy? I can almost feel God with us right now, making everything work out.”
“He is, Mommy.” He gave her a silly smile, as if surely she must know this. “He’s always with us now. I used to ask Him to go with me on trips ’cause I was scared. Now I ask Him to always go with us.”
“Oh.” She nodded. “No wonder.”
She shut the door and climbed into the driver’s seat. But before she started the car, he called to her.
“Mommy, can we talk to God? ’Afore we go?”
“Sure, buddy.” She bowed her head and wondered what was on his mind.
“Hi, God . . . it’s me, Joey. I’m happy that we’re going home. But I’m sad for that nice lady. Jonah says since You’re God, You can be with more than one person at a time.” He stopped for a second. “I think that’s true. So could You please be with that nice lady? ’Cause she was crying, and I think You would make her feel better.”
Molly could hardly believe her ears. Here was her son, the one who had prayed without ever giving up—even when the adults around him were going about things their own way. And now—even though he was happy—he was worried about Wendy Porter. Because she’d been crying.
Thank You for this child, God. . . . Teach Jack and me to listen to him, that we might learn to have a faith like his.
In the backseat, Joey finished his prayer the way he always did.
“Gee this name, amen.”
Author’s Note
Dear Friends,
Always at the end of a book, I stand back amazed. Awed that God would give me another story—one that grew first in the soil of my heart, and then on the pages of this book. But also amazed at the lessons I learned along the way.
I knew, of course, that Like Dandelion Dust would be the story of two mothers, and the love that both women had for a single child. But I wasn’t prepared for the lessons of faith that would come by way of four-year-old Joey. I don’t know why I was surprised. The lessons were there because they are also that vivid in the lives of my own six children.
The image of my eight-year-old Austin sleeping with his snow leopard under one arm and his Bible under the other.
My little EJ telling me that he slept great because, “I just remembered all my Bible verses and God gave me sleep.”
My precious Sean coming up to me, all smiles, after his champion soccer team lost badly in the first round of the state playoffs. “Did you see me, Mom?”
“Yes, Sean,” I told him. “You played very hard. I’m proud of you.”
“No, not that.” He pointed to the empty midfield. “Before the game I got everyone in a circle so we could pray.”
The examples in my own life are without limit.
Big, strong Josh, taking half an hour to gather five packs of his own gum and write his sister and brothers each a note with a little cross on it. Josh taping the notes to the packs of gum, and secretly delivering one to the foot of each of his siblings’ beds.
“I felt like God wanted me to share.”
There’s Tyler at thirteen years old, stringing a sign up on his bedroom door that reads, “I believe!” and telling me, “I just want everyone who comes here to know where I stand.”
And finally Kelsey, who at sixteen is in the middle of strong peer pressure, finding her dad and me and saying, “You know what makes my day absolutely perfect? When I start out by reading my Bible.”
Our kids come up with things like this, and my husband and I find ourselves wanting to memorize Scripture and strengthen our faith and wake up early enough to start our day right, too.
Like Dandelion Dust raises interesting questions, questions about what makes someone a mother, and what it means to truly love a child. You’ll find more of these questions in the Reading Group Guide at the end of this book.
I realize that there are many true-life stories that start out like the Campbells’. But sadly, many do not have miracle endings—at least not the endings adoptive parents are praying for. In those cases, my heart and prayers are with you. I can only believe that we—like children—are in the backseat however long the journey lasts. God is driving, and we must trust that in the end, if we stay with Him, He’ll get us safely home.
As always, I’d love to hear from you. You can contact me by visiting my Web site at www.KarenKingsbury.com. The site has a new look and many more reader features, including a running blog of my life as a wife, mom, and author, a section for book clubs, and a place where you can connect with other readers.
If you are part of a book club, take a minute and register your group. That way you can connect with another reader group—perhaps in your state or across the country. You can agree to read the same book, and swap e-mails in the process. It’s a great way to make new friends!
I pray this finds you filled with joy and peace. May God always be at the center of your families, and may you learn from the children He has placed in your lives. Remember—we have much to gain by watching the faith of our children.
In His light and love. Until next time,
Karen Kingsbury
Reading Group Guide
1. Have you ever known someone who adopted a child and then had that child taken away because the adoption fell through? Describe that situation. How did the adoptive parents handle the loss?
2. What did you think of Molly and Jack’s decision to leave the country?
3. Is there any way to justify the decision Molly and Jack made?
4. Read the story of Mary and Joseph’s escape to Egypt in Matthew, chapter 2. Did this give moral precedent for Molly and Jack to take Joey and flee the country? Why or why not?
5. What Molly and Jack wanted to do was illegal, no question about it. If you were Beth, would you have turned them in? Why or why not?
6. Molly and Beth shared a special relationship. What were some of the reasons they were close?
7. Describe a close relationship you have with a sister or a friend. What makes that relationship close?
8. Have there been times when you have had to make a difficult decision—like the one Beth made—for the good of someone you love? Describe that situation. What was the outcome?
9. How might God have blessed Molly and Jack if they hadn’t tried to defy the law?
10. Why was Jack so closed to the possibility of God’s help while he looked for a way to keep custody of Joey? Explain your answer.
11. What did Beth mean when she said that God’s will is always accomplished if you ask Him? Can you give an example of this in your life?
12. Wendy Porter was a woman caught up in abuse. Do you know anyone in a similar situation? Why do people stay in harmful relationships?
13. Read 1 Kings, chapter 3. How does the story of the two mothers relate to the sacrifice Wendy made on behalf of her son? How is the Bible story different?
14. Who was your favorite character in Like Dandelion Dust? Why?
15. Which character are you most like? How?
16. Do you think Molly and Jack would’ve gotten away with their plan? Why or why not?
17. Do you think they would’ve been happy in their new life in the Cayman Islands? Why or why not?
18. What would you do if a judge ordered that one of your children had to be taken away?
19. If you could make any change to the adoption laws in this country, what change would you make? Do you think the current system protects childre
n most of the time, some of the time, or all of the time?
20. What did you learn from reading this novel?
Karen Kingsbury, Like Dandelion Dust
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