I skim the words over. “So it brings someone to life instead of killing them?”
“Well, you give them some of your life, which is pretty much the same thing. Only, you risk killing yourself in the process if you give too much, and it only works on the otherworldly. The osculum vitae simply becomes death when used on a human since you’re feeding them some of your own self, which is a deadly combination of life and death that only an immortal can withstand.”
I stare down at Asher and whisper, “How do I do it?”
“The same way you suck the life from someone except, instead of taking, you give.” He scrambles to his knees and snatches up his book. “I’m sorry this happened, but I warned you to come alone. They’ve been watching me for a while, hoping you’d come to me.”
“Who was watching you?!” I shout as he turns and scurries down the path.
Even though I want to chase after him and wring his beady little neck, I fix my attention on what’s most important—Asher. Glancing around, I notice the park has been cleared out, and sirens ring in the distance. Someone must have seen what happened and called the police. If I don’t bring Asher back now, I’ll be hauled off in handcuffs and won’t be able to save him at all.
Sucking in a deep breath, I concentrate on giving life instead of taking as I lower my mouth to Asher’s. His lips are like ice, not a single ounce of breath or life. I summon another breath and try again.
Give, give, give...
As the feather reaches the sun,
It sees its death in the light.
Afraid, the feather starts to float back,
But as it fights the power of the water,
It turns back around
And decides it’s time
To fly away into the sky.
Chapter 10
Ember
Darkness blankets over me, engulfing my body in both cold and warmth as I tumble blindingly into a state of slumber. From somewhere, I hear my mother begging me to hang on, that I can’t die just yet. My eyes feel open, but I can’t see. My chest is moving, but I don’t feel like I’m breathing. Am I dying? Is Asher alive? The latter question matters the most to me.
When Asher sucks in a huge breath, I crumple to the ground. My body throbs in pain, and my muscles feel weak, yet in that moment, I feel more content with myself than I ever have.
I gave life instead of death.
Death doesn’t own me.
I do.
“Holy shit. Ember, are you okay?” Asher hovers over me as my eyelids start to drift shut.
I’m so tired. So very, very tired.
His fingers spread across my cheeks, his flesh so warm against the chill in my body. “No, don’t go to sleep. Fucking open your eyes,” he begs.
The light is better than the feather ever imagined,
Like sunshine and warmth all mixed into one.
It gives the feather strength
And the pain,
It’s gone,
Left behind in the sea.
I open my eyes, gasping for air, then squint against the sunlight until I see his beautiful face.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmur, feeling a little bit woozy and dizzy.
“You’re okay.” He breathes in relief, relaxing back on his heels.
“I think so.” I start to sit up, but he guides my head back down to his lap.
“How did you know to do that?” he asks while sketching a finger across my bottom lip.
“Cameron ... He warned me what was going to happen and what I could do to fix it, kind of like he did with my father. Only this time … This time I did things right.”
“He must really care about you, then, to give up stealing my soul.” He doesn’t look angry, just mystified.
“Maybe he didn’t want to steal your soul.” I trace my fingers across his cheekbone. “Maybe deep down, beneath all the crap he puts you through, he really does care about you because you’re his brother.”
He frowns, doubtful. “You really believe that?”
“A few minutes ago, I would have said no, but now … I’m not sure I understood him as well as I thought.” My eyelids flutter as he combs strands of hair away from my dampened forehead. “Whatever the reason was, I’m glad he did it.”
“Me, too,” Asher whispers. “I can feel you in me now, like you feel my life in you.”
I bite on my bottom lip, anxious about the idea. “Is it weird?”
“No.” He delicately cups my cheek. “But I think you might be underestimating how truly good you are. I can feel it—you’re good inside me.”
I want to argue, but considering what I just did, it seems pointless. “We should go,” I say as the sirens grow louder. “I think someone called the police.”
He gives a quick glance around as if just remembering where we are then scoops me up in his arms and hurries up the path toward the exit.
“Asher, wait,” I say as he rushes out of the gate, a sudden memory slamming against my skull. “Raven … She was by the trees.” I squirm in his arms, but he holds me tight. “Asher, we have to go back. I sucked some of her life from her then left her there. Maybe, if we can get her back to the motel and tie her up … at least I’ll know she’s safe.”
He hesitates, glancing at the trees and the exit with confliction. “It’s not safe.”
“I can’t just leave her, Asher. She may be possessed, but she’s been my best friend since I was born.” Desperation floods my voice. “I’ll hate myself if I leave her behind in the hands of the Reapers.”
His body stiffens as he curses then reels around, hurrying across the grass toward the trees. “If she so much as touches a hair on your head, I’m going to make her pay.”
“Noted.” Of course, if I asked him not to harm her, he would, so I’m not that concerned.
When we step down the shallow slope and duck back behind the trees, my heart sinks in my chest. The area has been sucked dry, the grass yellow, the branches leafless, the bushes brown and dying. In the midst of the lifeless plants lies the broken heel of a boot.
“She’s gone.” I press my hands to my lips. “I took some of her life to stop her from hurting me, but I made sure I didn’t kill her … I don’t understand.”
Asher offers me a remorseful look. “More than likely, the Reapers came back for her.” His body goes as rigid as a board as his gaze skims the bushes, trees, and field around us. “We need to get you out of here…” He dashes back up the shallow hill and rounds the shrubbery, heading for the closest exit.
My chest aches at knowing I failed to save Raven from being controlled, which means she’ll slip further into her possession and be harder to save.
“I can walk, Asher. In fact, we might be able to move quicker if you put me down.”
“I know you can,” he says, jogging out of the gate and veering left up the sidewalk. “But, after what you did, you need to rest.”
“How did they hurt you?” My head does feel a little heavy, so I rest my head against his chest. “The Reaper, I mean. What did he do to try to kill you?”
“He used a knife sealed with the immortal remotionem,” he says through gritted teeth. “Which can only mean one thing—it was Altarius who sent him after me.”
“Asher, does Raven being here with that Reaper…? Does that mean she’s working for Altarius now?”
“More than likely, yes, but I already had my suspicions she was a while ago,” he replies, giving me a solemn look. “I’m so sorry it turned out this way.”
“Me, too,” I mutter, wanting to live in denial, not ready to accept that Raven is that far into the Reaper world. “How can you be sure that it’s Altarius that just tried to kill you? Maybe it’s someone else from the Anamotti.”
He shakes his head regretfully. “It can’t be. Altarius is the only one who has the knife, remember? He may not have showed up here to make the kill himself, but he was definitely the one who gave that Reaper the knife.”
I shiver at the memory. “Do you think the Reaper and R
aven are still around?” I ask, tensely examining the clothing stores and fancy restaurants around us.
“I’m not sure, but we need to get you someplace safe.” He hugs me closer to him and kisses my forehead.
“And you, too.” I listen to his heartbeat steadily and breathe in the intoxicating scent of his cologne. “He came after you.”
“I really need to talk to my mother…find out what she knows and how the fuck the Reapers seem to know where we are all the fucking time.”
“August said he was being watched, and the Reapers knew I was going to come to him for help, which automatically makes me think Cameron told him, since he’s the only one who knew we were tracking him down. But then he helped us, so…I don’t know what to think.”
“Me, either.” He quickens his pace, taking long strides. “But I’m going to find out, just as soon I get you someplace safe. Then I’m going to have you summon Cameron, and we’re going to force what he knows out of him.”
“That sounds risky, trusting him like that, especially with how tricky he is.”
“It is risky.” His gaze drops to me. “But, right now, it’s the only choice we have, because I honestly have no clue who we can trust anymore.”
He’s right. It seems like the deeper we get into the Reaper curse, the less people we can rely on. The only person I know I can trust fully is Asher, and I almost lost that.
Tears start to pool in my eyes again as a wave of sadness crashes over me.
“Hey”—he cradles me against him—“everything’s going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I grip onto him. It’s not me I’m worried about losing. It’s him.
“Asher…maybe the sacrifice doesn’t have to end in death,” I say, ignoring Asher’s mother’s warning echoing in my head. “I mean, if I can bring back the dead…perhaps I could sacrifice the person then bring them back to life afterward.”
He frowns, seeming less thrilled about the idea than I am. “As much as I’d love to agree with you, I don’t think the sacrifice would be a sacrifice if the person came back, and you knew about it.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” But, deep down, I’m not ready to agree with him yet.
Now that I know I’m in love with Asher, I realize just how hard sacrificing him is going to be. And I’ll do anything to stop it, even if it means going against every warning ringing in my body.
Chapter 11
Ember
After we leave the park, we rent a room at a different hotel on the opposite side of the city, hoping the relocation will help us stay undetected. I decide to take a quick shower to wash the day off, and in the heat of the moment, end up in the bathroom, stripping Asher’s clothes off, too.
After almost losing him today, I feel frustrated with myself for wasting all that time refusing to let him touch me. I was so worried about my evil side winning that, in a way, I was letting it by stopping myself from having the good. Because that’s what Asher is.
“Ember¸” he groans against my mouth as I fumble to unbutton his jeans. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? You’ve been through so much today.”
“I’m fine,” I assure him, dragging the zipper down. Arching my back, I lean in and graze my teeth along his bottom lip before moving back to tug his jeans down. “More than fine, actually.”
Grabbing a condom from his back pocket, he steps out of his jeans and kicks them aside. His eyes flare with desire as he crashes his lips against mine. With a flick of his finger, he undoes my bra, and then his hands skate down my side to my panties, jerking them down my legs. His tongue ring clanks against my teeth as we kiss the air from each other, tripping past the sink to the shower.
Without breaking the kiss, I reach around behind me and fumble until I find the knob. With a twist, I turn on the water, and seconds later, steam engulfs the air.
He grips my thigh, his fingers kneading my flesh as he scoops me into his arms. Pressing my chest against his, I clutch on to his shoulders and hitch my legs around his waist. Our tongues continue to explore each other’s mouths as he backs us into the shower and underneath the showerhead.
Warm water rivers over my body as our lips fuse together, and steam dews my skin. My hands wander up and down his back, and then I grip his shoulder blades and rock my hips against him, letting him know what I want.
Gripping my ass, he presses me closer, urging our bodies together. A deep, husky moan escapes his lips as his hardness presses against me. I stab my fingernails into his flesh and cry out.
But, suddenly, he’s moving away and setting me down.
“What are you doing?” I gasp for air as water runs down my chest and stomach.
Without a word, he tears open the condom and slips it on. Then, before I know it, I’m in his arms again, and he’s sinking deep inside me. A cry claws up my throat as he moves back and slams his hips against mine again.
“You’re so beautiful.” He drags his teeth across my earlobe while gently pinching my nipple.
As he rocks against me over and over again, the tension leaves my body, and my mind grows hazy, consumed by the feel of him. I start to drift from reality, my muscles tightening, my fingernails delving into his skin.
Lost. I feel so lost. I wish I could stay this way forever.
Eventually, I return to reality, and the weight of my future crashes right back down on my shoulders.
Asher places a soft kiss on my lips before pulling out of me. We remain in the shower for a little longer, standing in the water and holding each other, before finally facing the inevitable and climbing out.
As I get dressed in torn jeans and a faded grey shirt, all the worry I felt before I let myself get lost in Asher returns, and suddenly, I’m filled with the need to do something I should have done a long time ago.
“Can I borrow your phone?” I ask Asher as I towel dry my hair.
“Sure.” Asher grabs his phone from off the bed and hands it to me before tugging on a red logo T-shirt. “Can I ask who you’re calling, though?”
“I’m not calling anyone.” I click open the web browser. “I’m seeing if there’s anything online that might give me an update on what’s going on back at home.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? It might be better not to know.”
“No…I need to know.” I open my Facebook account and slide my thumb over the screen, scrolling the newsfeed. “I keep seeing my mother every time I close my eyes…I’m pretty sure she’s dead…And I need to know what Raven and Ian are up to…” I trail off as I come across a photo of Raven.
In the midst of my newsfeed is a current update of her standing in front of what looks like Central Park. She’s grinning from ear to ear, but the sun gleaming in her hollow eyes and the vacancy in her expression doesn’t belong to the Raven I grew up with.
“She took a picture of herself right before she and that Reaper tried to kill you,” I mutter, shaking my head. I thumb the screen farther and find a photo of her standing near one of the busy streets of New York City, pale-faced and exhausted. Beside her is a man with an X branding his arm “God, she’s in deep, isn’t she?”
“She’s not herself.” Asher sits down beside me and wraps his arm around me. “You have to remember that everything she does isn’t under her own freewill.”
I press my lips together. “That book … It said that, if someone is possessed for too long, then their souls can’t be saved. She’s been possessed for months now.”
Asher rubs his hand up and down my arm, erasing the goose bumps that have sprouted across my flesh. “Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll figure this out.”
“And what about my mother? It’s driving me crazy that I don’t know for sure if she’s dead.”
He chews on his bottom lip, wavering. “There might be a way to find out, but you need to be sure that you want to know.” His gaze collides with mine as I wait for him to explain further. “Cameron would know … since more than likely the Reapers would have her sou
l. But you need to make sure you’re ready for that.” He sweeps my hair from my shoulder then places a soft kiss against my skin.
“If she’s dead, and the Reaper’s have her soul, then what? She’s just dead and belongs to them?”
“Not exactly. Her soul could still be saved if we free the souls. But she won’t come back to life. She will be in a better place, though. Same with your dad. If we can get his soul out of the Shadow Realm and into the hands of the Angels, then they’ll be taken care of.”