One year later…
“Oh, my God!’ Raven screeches as she bounces up and down, clapping her hands. “You look so hot.”
I try to smile as I stand in my room wearing the fitted black dress she picked out for me. A red ribbon laces through the back of the fabric, so when pulled tight, it makes me look like I have more cleavage than I do.
“Ember,” she huffs when I can’t quite get the smile to form on my mouth. “Don’t be a downer.”
“I’m not being a downer.” I force a fake smile and point at my lips. “See.”
She scowls at me. “Seriously. You look like you’re about to cry. You always do.”
I wish I could explain to her why, but unlike me, Raven can’t remember the Angels or Reapers, the battle and the choice I made, Asher…
I shake the thought from my head and pick up a lacey choker from my dresser. “What do you think? Does it match?”
She crosses her arms and arches her eyebrows. “No subject changing.” She plops down on the bed and pats the mattress. “Now, tell me what’s bothering you.” When I don’t sit down, she frowns. “Is it your mom and dad? I know it’s been a year since they died, but it still has to be hard, especially with it being the anniversary of their death.”
I nod, even though that isn’t entirely what’s making me miserable. It also has been one year since I killed Asher.
Sometimes, late at night, I replay the events and try to convince myself that it wasn’t really me who stabbed him, that at the end, he was the one who took over moving the knife and plunging it into his own chest. If that were the case, though, then Raven and I wouldn’t be hanging out, discussing mundane things like what clothes to wear to the latest party she’s dragging me to.
“It is getting to me a little bit,” I say, sitting down beside her.
She leans in and gives me a hug, her blue hair getting in my face. It’s funny, but when things started to return to normal in Hollows Grove, Raven felt this sudden need to give herself a makeover. Apparently, in her words, she didn’t want to be her old self anymore.
Even though she can’t remember all those months she spent under possession of the Reapers, I sometimes wonder if a part of her feels it inside, her and that’s where the sudden need to transform stemmed from.
“I think we should stop by the lake tonight before the party and light some candles for them,” she suggests. “What do you think?”
Raven thinks my parents died in a car crash near the lake. In fact, the whole town does. Not one single resident remembers any of the deaths, the battle, and the invasion of the Reapers. It’s like those months were erased from everyone’s mind except mine. For some reason, I was left with the memories. I wouldn’t change it, though. Forgetting what happened means forgetting Asher. And, yes, even Cameron. In the end, he came through for me, and I’ll be forever grateful for what he did.
“I think that sounds great.” I hug her back without feeling her death. The ability was lost when the curse ended, just like my wings and Reaper vision.
“Good.” She pulls away, jumps to her feet, and skips to the door. “I’ll go get Ian. I’m sure he’ll want to go.”
When she leaves the room, a slow breath eases from my lips as I flop back on the bed. On the wall above me is a portrait of an Angel that Raven painted a long time ago. The black wings span wide and take up a lot of space, but that’s okay. I could stare at it all day.
On the opposing wall is the painting of a Reaper holding an hourglass. My brother put it up not long after Raven painted the Angel. At the time, I didn’t know either of them existed and wasn’t a fan of having the portraits on my wall. Now, though … Well, in a twisted way, they both bring me comfort.
I lay in the bed until Raven shouts for me to get a move on. Sighing, I drag my ass from the bed and head to my closet to get my boots. After I slip them on, I pick up a marker and move to my list written on the wall.
The list is composed of all the adventurous things I’ve done and want to do. I try to do at least one a week, making sure to live my life with no regrets like Asher wanted. The problem is that I wish I were living it with him.
When Raven yells for me again, I scratch off one of the items then grab my bag and hurry down the stairs.
“You look so hot,” she catcalls at me from the foyer then adds a whistle.
My brother is standing next to her, wearing a T-shirt and jeans stained with paint. He appears somewhat content, which is an unfamiliar look for him that I’m still getting used to.
Since he can’t remember being a Grim Angel, I think he has lost a lot of the madness that was always filling his head. Although, sometimes late at night, when he’s painting in the attic, I can hear him talking to someone. I once snuck up there to listen and discovered he was talking aloud to Alyssa, his ex-girlfriend. She wasn’t really there, and I worried he was losing his mind, except sometimes I do the same thing with Asher.
“So, who’s driving?” Ian asks as he opens the door.
“You can.” Raven kisses him on the cheek and hands him the keys before heading outside.
“How do you feel about the whole lake thing?” he asks me when I reach the bottom of the stairway. “Are you going to be okay with it?”
I nod, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I’ll be fine. What about you? You’re the one I’m worried about. I know you hate the lake.”
He bobs his head from side to side, wavering. “I’ll be okay. I’ve made my peace, you know.”
“I’m glad you have.” I smile as him as he steps outside, leaving the door open behind him.
I collect my house keys from the table then head for the door then pause before I step over the threshold. I get the strangest sense that someone is watching me and glance over my shoulder, only to find the house empty.
Wrenching my gaze off the stairs, I step outside beneath the fading blue sky and shut the door. I wave to my neighbor who returns my greeting with a smile, and then I climb into the car with Raven and Ian. The two of them chat about school, jobs, their relationship, everyday things. I should be joining in with them, but as usual, my thoughts drift to something that has really been plaguing me, something Asher said to me while we were in the clouds.
Make your sacrifice worth it, he said.
I don’t get it. What sacrifice did I make? And if I really did make a sacrifice, wouldn’t that mean I should have been rewarded?
I obsess over the thoughts during the entire drive to the lake. Even when we park the car on the shore near the spot where I actually drove into the lake, my head is still stuck in the past.
I light the candles in a daze, wishing I could tell Raven and Ian the truth about what happened. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel like I was always drowning.
“I wonder what it would have been like if they were still alive,” Ian says, coming up beside me with a candle in his hand. “Do you think life would have been better or worse?”
I shrug, flick the lighter with my thumb, and light the wick of the candle. “I don’t like to think about it that much.”
“I’m worried about you, Ember.” He sets the candle down and stares out at the rippling lake. “You hardly ever talk about the past.”
I gaze at the flame. “I’m fine. I promise. I’m dealing with it in my own way.”
“That’s the thing.” He crosses his arms and steps back as the water lulls over the rocky shore. “I don’t think you are.”
It’s strange to have him worrying about me after all the years I spent stressing over his wellbeing.
“I’ll try to do better.” I bend over and set the candle down on the ground.
“I’m going to hold you to that.” He points a finger at me. “In fact, after we get home, I’m going to make you sit down and tell stories of Mom and Dad.”
I force a small smile to make him happy. “Sounds good.”
He smiles back at me and leans in to give me a pat on the back. Then Raven hollers at him, so he hurries down the shore. I stand in the darkness wi
th the headlights of the car hitting my back as I stare up at the moon, wondering if Asher is up there somewhere, watching me. It hurts to think that he is and hurts to think that he isn’t. Everything hurts, but I push through the pain because I promised him I would.
I stare at the night sky until my eyes become blurry then head back to the car. Raven and Ian are somewhere on the shore, but since I can guess what they’re doing, I don’t go looking for them. Instead, I hoist myself onto the hood and rest back.
“You know, this is the place where you first saved my life,” I say aloud, fiddling with the feather bracelet Asher gave to me, the one I never take off, hoping, always hoping, that somehow he’ll come back to me. “I drove my car into the lake, and you pulled me out and made me take some of your life. God, it seems like such a long time ago. I’d go back if I could, though, just to see you again. I’d give anything to see you again.”
“It really hasn’t been that long when you think about it, just a year in a life filled with decades.”
My eyes enlarge at the sound of his voice. At first, I think maybe I’ve returned to crazyland, but then I feel his warmth radiating through my body, and I turn my head.
Lying beside me on the hood of the car is Asher with his legs stretched out and his hands tucked under his head. The metal in his face glints in the moonlight, and his hair blends with the night.
“What are you…? How did you…?” I’m struck speechless as I roll to my side.
He chuckles, pushing up on his elbows. “You’re beautiful when you get flustered.”
“This is a dream, isn’t it?” I pinch myself and wince. “You can’t be real.”
He laughs again, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he leans closer to me. “It’s not a dream. I’m real, and I’m here.”
“But how?” I gape at him in shock. “You died … I killed you … And … I don’t understand.”
“Your sacrifice,” he says simply.
“But I didn’t sacrifice anything. I took your life.”
“That’s not true.” He reaches out to touch me but then withdraws. “You sacrificed the love you felt for me, gave it up to save everyone else.”
“But why are you here after a year?” I sit up and twist around. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“It wouldn’t have been a sacrifice if I’d simply shown up right after I died.” He sits up with me, pulls a knee toward him, and studies me with his head tilted. “Still don’t believe me?” he asks and I shrug, confused beyond imaginable. He thrums his finger against his lips, considering. “Maybe this will help you, then.”
He ducks his head, his hair falling into his eyes as he moves in to kiss me. Part of me wants to flee, escape the fact that he might not be real. But the other part of me wants to see, wants to believe he’s really here.
When his lips find mine, warmth spills over me like melted butter, and I’m pulled from the sea of pain I was drowning in for the last year.
“You really are real?” I whisper against his lips, clutching his solid arms.
He nods, his warm breath caressing my flesh.
“Are you…? Are you human…?”
“For the time being, yes.”
“You’re not banished, are you?”
He gives a low chuckle. “You’re so full of questions.”
I trace my fingers along the lean muscles of his arms. “I just want to make sure you’re not going anywhere. I don’t want to lose you again. I’ve tried to be strong, but … It’s been hard.”
“I know it has, but I promise I’m here now, and I’m as close to human as Michael would allow me to be, which means no wings for the time being, unless I really need them.” He buries his face into the crook my neck and breathes me in. “God, I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” I kiss him deeply, tangling his tongue with mine, before pulling away. “But how long are you here? Please tell me it’s for forever.”
“It’s for as long as you want me here,” he says, sliding his hands around my waist.
I smile against his mouth. “Then I guess it’s forever, then.”
I reach around and pull him against me, feeling his heart slam against his chest. Then I kiss him slowly, as if we have all the time in the world, because now we really do.
About the Author
Jessica Sorensen is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author that lives in the snowy mountains of Wyoming. When she's not writing, she spends her time reading and hanging out with her family.
Other books by Jessica Sorensen:
The Coincidence Series:
The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden
The Redemption of Callie and Kayden
The Destiny of Violet and Luke
The Probability of Violet and Luke
The Certainty of Violet and Luke
The Resolution of Callie and Kayden
Seth & Grayson (Coming Soon)
The Secret Series:
The Prelude of Ella and Micha
The Secret of Ella and Micha
The Forever of Ella and Micha
The Temptation of Lila and Ethan
The Ever After of Ella and Micha
Lila and Ethan: Forever and Always
Ella and Micha: Infinitely and Always
The Shattered Promises Series:
Shattered Promises
Fractured Souls
Unbroken
Broken Visions
Scattered Ashes (Coming Soon)
Breaking Nova Series:
Breaking Nova
Saving Quinton
Delilah: The Making of Red
Nova and Quinton: No Regrets
Tristan: Finding Hope
Wreck Me
Ruin Me
The Fallen Star Series (YA):
The Fallen Star
The Underworld
The Vision
The Promise
The Fallen Souls Series (spin off from The Fallen Star):
The Lost Soul
The Evanescence
The Darkness Falls Series:
Darkness Falls
Darkness Breaks
Darkness Fades
The Death Collectors Series (NA and YA):
Ember X and Ember
Cinder X and Cinder
Spark X and Spark
The Sins Series:
Seduction & Temptation
Sins & Secrets
Unbeautiful Series:
Unbeautiful
Untamed
Unraveling Series:
Unraveling You
Raveling You
Awakening You
Standalones
The Forgotten Girl
Coming Soon:
Entranced
Steel & Bones
Connect with me online:
jessicasorensen.com
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jessica-Sorensen/165335743524509
https://twitter.com/#!/jessFallenStar
Jessica Sorensen, Spark X
(Series: Death Collectors # 3)
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