“What happened?” Gemma asked, rushing over to them.
“We found Luke,” Harper said quietly.
“He’s dead. ” Alex stepped away from Harper and hugged Gemma. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly to her, and she could feel his tears on her shoulder.
TWENTY
Coping
Harper leaned on the kitchen sink and stared out the window at Alex’s house next door. He’d been shaken up since they’d found the dead bodies the day before, and Gemma had spent nearly all her time over at his house.
Both Brian and Harper thought it was better for Gemma to be with him than upstairs in her room grounded. Alex needed her.
“How are you holding up?” Brian asked. He sat at the kitchen table behind Harper, drinking a cup of coffee.
“Fine,” Harper lied.
Nightmares had woken her up three times before she gave up on sleep entirely. To busy herself, she’d done all the laundry and rearranged the pantry by the time Brian got up at eight A. M.
“Are you sure?” Brian asked.
“Yeah. ” She turned back to her dad and forced a smile to reassure him. “I didn’t know Luke all that well. ”
“It doesn’t matter. Seeing something like that can get to you. ”
“I’ll be fine. ” She pulled out a chair across from him and sat down.
Brian had the paper spread out in front of him, the same way he did every Saturday morning. The bodies found in the woods had made the front page, so he had deliberately separated that page from the paper and thrown it away before Harper could see it.
Reaching across the table, Harper grabbed the crossword puzzle. Brian always started filling out the puzzles but gave up after getting only one or two words. He rolled the pen across the table, and she thanked him for it.
“So we’re just going to pretend that nothing happened?” Brian asked, and sipped his coffee.
“I’m not pretending anything. ” Harper pulled her knee to her chest so she could lean on it as she filled out the crossword. “Something horrible happened. I just don’t have a lot to say about it. ”
“Did I ever tell you about how Terry Connelly died?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know. ” She paused, thinking. “I remember when that happened, but I was only five or six at the time. It was some kind of accident at the dock, right?”
“Yeah. ” He nodded. “A pallet weighing several hundred pounds fell off a forklift and landed on him. It knocked him down and landed on his stomach. I was right next to him when it happened, and he was still alive, so I sat with him until the ambulance came. ”
“I didn’t know that. ” Harper rested her chin on her knee and watched him talk.
“We weren’t friends, but we’d worked together for years, and I didn’t want him to be alone,” Brian said. “When the rescue team finally came, they had to lift up the pallet to get him out. All his organs had squished out to the sides. You could see his intestines smashed to the bottom of the pallet, dangling off like a dead worm. ”
“Oh, my gosh, Dad. ” Harper grimaced. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I’m not telling you to gross you out,” he assured her. “The point I’m making is that it was gruesome. Somehow, the pallet sitting on him was keeping him alive, I guess, because as soon as they lifted it, he died. ”
“I’m sorry,” she said, since she didn’t know what else to say.
“I had nightmares about it for weeks afterwards. You could have asked your mother about it, if she still remembered. ” He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “I was a grown man when that happened, and it was just a freak accident. Nobody had been murdered or left to rot in the trees, and it still messed me up for a while. ”
“Dad. ” She sighed and leaned back in her seat.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, honey,” Brian said gently. “But I do know that you are going through something. And it’s okay to admit it. It’s okay to be hurt and scared sometimes. ”
“I know. But I’m okay. ”
“I know you don’t always want to talk to me, but I hope you’re talking to somebody. ” He took a sip from his coffee. “Are you going over to Alex’s today?”
“No, Gemma’s over there. ”
“So? He’s your friend, too. You can be around him when Gemma is. ”
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“I know, but…” She shrugged.
“You can still be his friend even though he has a girlfriend. ” Brian paused. “Is Gemma his girlfriend?”
“I don’t know. ” She shook her head. “Kinda, I think. ”
“Hmm. ” He furrowed his brow. “I guess there could be worse boys than Alex. ”
“Yes, there could,” she agreed.
“What about you?”
“What about me what?”
“Are you seeing anybody?”
“Dad,” Harper groaned and got up from the table.
“Harper,” Brian groaned back.
“Why is everybody so interested in my love life all of a sudden?” She went over to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice. “Not that I have one. Because I don’t. ” Pouring herself a glass of juice, she muttered, “I don’t like anybody. ”
“Everybody’s interested in your love life?” Brian asked. “Who’s everybody?”
“I don’t know. You. Alex. ” She squirmed and gulped down the juice so she wouldn’t have to say more. “I know it’s Saturday, but I don’t think I’m going to see Mom today. ”
“Okay. ”
“Gemma’s pretty tied up today, but maybe tomorrow she’ll want to see Mom. ” Harper glanced back over toward Alex’s house. “I don’t know. Or maybe she won’t. I’ll probably still go tomorrow, even if she doesn’t want to. ”
“Okay. ” Brian nodded. “Good. It’s good for you see your mother. ”
“You know, it would probably be good for you to see her, too,” Harper said carefully, and he visibly stiffened at her suggestion.
The doorbell rang, saving them both from another awkward conversation about Nathalie. Neither of them really liked talking about her at all, least of all to each other, but once her name came up, they’d both feel compelled to get into a discussion about her.
“I’ll get it,” Harper said, even though she was still in her pajamas and Brian was dressed.
She thought it might be the police. They said they would stop by if they had more questions, but she and Alex hadn’t really been able to tell them much. They didn’t actually know anything, except where the bodies had been found.
Instead of the police she found Daniel standing on her doorstep. He smiled at her, and at first she did nothing but stand there with the door open, gaping at him in surprise.
“Sorry. Did I wake you?” Daniel asked. “If I’m bothering you, I can just go—”
“No, um, it’s fine. ” Harper shook her head, but she suddenly became aware of the fact that she was wearing only a tank top and short girl boxers. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I was awake. ”
“Good. ” He scratched at his arm and stared at her. “Can I come in?”
“Oh, right, yeah. Yes. Of course. ” She stepped back so he could get by, so now they could stare at each other awkwardly in the entryway instead of on the doorstep. Finally she just blurted out, “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, um, I heard about what happened to your friend. ” Sympathy filled his hazel eyes. “The one that was missing, and I wanted to offer my condolences. ”
“Oh. Thank you. ” She smiled thinly at him.
“I stopped by the library to see if you were at work,” Daniel explained. “I wanted to check and make sure you were holding up okay, because you seemed pretty distressed when you found out he was missing. ”
“I have Saturdays off,” Harper said, instead of addressing how she was holding up.
“That’s what the girl working there told
me. It was a surly girl with straight bangs. ” He held his hand up in front of his forehead to show where her bangs hit just above her eyebrows.
“That’s Marcy. ”
“The coworker you can’t leave unattended?” Daniel asked.
“Yeah. ” She laughed a little, surprised that Daniel had been paying attention and remembered that. “That’s her. ”
“She told me where you lived, and I hope it’s not too weird that I’m stopping by. I can go if you want. ” He motioned to the door beside him.
“No, no. It’s good. And I know where you live, so it’s only fair, right?”
“I guess. ” He smiled, looking relieved. “How are you doing?”
“Fine. ” She shrugged.
“Harper?” Brian asked and came in from the kitchen. “Who’s this?”
“Dad, this is, um, Daniel. ” Harper gestured toward him. “Daniel, this is my dad, Brian. ”
“Hello, sir. ” Daniel extended his hand, and Brian eyed him uncertainly as they shook hands.
“You look familiar,” Brian said. “Do I know you from somewhere?”
“You’ve probably seen me at my boat. ” Daniel put his hands in his back pockets. “The Dirty Gull. It’s parked down at the docks. ”
“Oh. ” Brian stared at him, trying to figure out how he knew him. “Was your grandfather Darryl Morgan?”
Daniel nodded. “That would be my grandpa. ”
“He was my foreman down at the docks,” Brian said. “We lost a good guy when he passed away. ”
“That we did,” Daniel agreed.
“You used to come down to the docks with him, didn’t you? But you were just…” Brian held his hand up near his hip, but now Daniel was actually a good inch taller than Brian. “And now you’re all grown up. ” He looked over at Harper. “And you’re visiting my daughter. ”
“Dad,” Harper said quietly and gave him a look.
“Okay. Well, it was good to see you again,” Brian said. “But I think I’m going to head out to the garage to work on Gemma’s car. ” He walked around them and went to the front door, but paused when he opened it. “But I’ll just be right outside if you need me. With heavy tools. ”
“Dad!” Harper snapped.
“Have fun, kids,” Brian said as he disappeared out the front door.
“Sorry about that,” Harper said after her father had gone.
“It’s okay. ” Daniel smirked. “I’m guessing you don’t have a lot of male suitors. ”
“Are you implying that you are a male suitor?” Harper raised an eyebrow and looked up at him.
“I’m not implying anything,” he said, but he smiled at her in a way that made her look away.
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“Do you want something to drink?” she asked, walking toward the kitchen. “I just made some coffee a little bit ago. ”
“Coffee would be great. ”
Daniel followed her into the kitchen. Harper grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and filled them both with coffee. When she gave Daniel his, he sat down at the kitchen table, but she stayed standing, preferring to lean against the counter and drink her coffee.
“This is really good coffee,” Daniel said after taking a sip.
“Thank you. It’s Folgers. ”
“So. ” He set his mug down on the table. “You never did tell me how you were doing. ”
“Yeah, I did. I said I was fine. ”
“Yeah, but that was a lie. ” He tilted his head, watching her. “How are you really doing?”
Harper scoffed and looked away from him, smiling nervously. “How do you know that’s a lie? And why would I lie?” She shook her head. “Why would I not be okay? I mean, I only knew one of them, and I didn’t even really know the guy. ”
“You are a horrible liar. Honestly. You’re one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Every time you say something that’s not true, you ramble and avoid eye contact. ”
“I…” She started to protest, then sighed.
“Why don’t you want to admit how you really feel?” Daniel asked.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. ” She stared down at the coffee in her hands. “It’s that … I don’t feel like I have a right to feel bad. ”
“How do you not have a right to feel bad? You’re entitled to feel however you feel. ”
“No, I’m not. ” She suddenly wanted to cry. “Luke was … I barely knew him. His parents lost a son. Alex lost a friend. They loved him. They lost something. They get to feel terrible about it. ”
She shook her head, as if that wasn’t what she wanted to say at all. “We exchanged a few really awkward, sloppy kisses last fall, and then I kinda blew him off. ” She chewed her lip, trying not to cry. “I mean, he was a nice guy. I just didn’t feel that way about him. ”
“Because you dated, and it ended, you don’t get to feel bad?” Daniel asked.
“Maybe. ” She shook her head. “I don’t know. ”
“Okay, let’s try this. Let’s forget how you should feel or shouldn’t feel. Why don’t you just tell me exactly what you’re feeling and thinking right now?”
“It’s not…” Harper swallowed hard, planning to dismiss Daniel’s question, but then she changed her mind. “I can’t stop thinking about his face when we found him. He had a maggot crawling on his lip. ” Unconsciously, she ran a finger over her own lips. “Those were lips that I’d kissed.
“And I can’t get the way the bodies smelled out of my nose. No matter how much I shower or how much perfume I spray, I can’t stop smelling it. ” Her voice got thick, and her eyes welled with tears.
“It’s his lips and face I keep picturing, but his body was all torn up. ” She gestured to her own torso. “He’d been ripped open and … I just keep thinking how scared he had to be. ” Tears slid down her cheeks. “He had to be terrified when that happened. They all did. ”
Daniel got up from the table and walked over to her. He stood in front of her and put his hands on her arms, but she wouldn’t look at him. She stared off at a point on the floor, crying.
“We saw him that day,” Harper went on. “The day he disappeared, at the picnic. And I just keep thinking, if I’d invited him to hang out with us, he’d still be alive. When I saw him, I was upset because everything was so awkward between us now. And he was a nice guy! If I’d just…”
She started sobbing then, her words getting drowned out by her tears. Daniel took the coffee mug from her hands and set it on the counter behind her. Then he reached out, and, almost tentatively, pulled her into his arms, hugging her.
“It’s not your fault,” Daniel told her as she cried into his shoulder. “You can’t save everybody, Harper. ”
“Why not?” she asked, her words muffled.
“It’s just the way the world works. ”
Harper allowed herself to cry for a little bit longer, feeling both grateful and ashamed at having Daniel’s arms around her. When she’d calmed down enough, she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. He retracted his arms, but he stayed right in front of her, in case she needed him.
“Sorry,” she said, pressing her palms to her cheeks to dry the tears.
“Don’t be. I’m not. ”
“Well, you have no reason to be sorry. You’re not being a total freak. ”
“Neither are you. ” He brushed a lock back from her forehead, and she let him, but she wouldn’t look up at him.
“And I know you’re right. I mean, that it’s not my fault. ” She sniffled. “But I just can’t stop thinking about that day at the picnic. I mean, we saw him that afternoon, and he went missing that night. If I’d just said, Hey, why don’t you hang out with us? instead of letting him go off with that girl…”
“You can’t beat yourself up like that. There’s no way you could’ve known. ”
“Yes, I should’ve. ” Her eyes widened as she realized something, and she looked up at him. “The l
ast time I saw Luke alive, he was going off with Lexi. ”
“Who’s Lexi?” Daniel asked.
“One of those really pretty, creepy girls. ”
“So he left the picnic with this Lexi girl, and then disappeared?” Daniel asked. “Did you tell the cops that?”
“No, I mean, yes. ” She shook her head. “I told them what I knew, but that didn’t seem very important. He went home after the picnic and had supper with his parents. It’s after that that he left, then went missing. But he did go off with Lexi, for a little while. ”
“You think that Lexi and Penn and that other girl are somehow involved with the murders? That’s what you’re suggesting?”
“I don’t know,” Harper said, then changed her mind. “Yes. I do. I think they’re connected. ”
“At the risk of being accused of being a sexist pig, I’m going to say something—they’re just girls. ” He took a small step back from Harper, as if he expected her to hit him, but she didn’t. “I get that it’s the new millennium and equal rights and girls can be serial killers just as well as boys. But those three girls don’t really look like they have the upper body strength to, you know, eviscerate somebody. ”
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“I know, but…” She furrowed her brow. “They’re evil, and they had something to do with it. I may not understand how yet, but I know it. ”
Daniel watched her for a minute, thinking, then he nodded. “No. I believe you. Now what?”
“I don’t know. ” She sighed. “But I’m not letting Gemma go anywhere near them again. I’ll tie her to the bed if I have to. ”
“That sounds reasonable. ”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. ”
“Where is Gemma?” Daniel asked.
“She’s over at Alex’s. ” Harper gestured to his house next door. “She’s comforting him. ”
“So we know she’s safe and taken care of?” Daniel asked, and she nodded. “Good. Then why don’t we do something that you want to do?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. What do you like to do?”
“Um…” Her stomach rumbled, since crying always made her hungry. “I like eating breakfast. ”
“That’s so weird. ” Daniel grinned. “Because I like making French toast. ”
“That works out, doesn’t it?”
Together, Harper and Daniel made breakfast. Her dad came in when he smelled it cooking, and the three of them ate together. It could’ve been a little awkward, but it wasn’t. Daniel was respectful and funny, and Brian seemed to like him.
She knew that when Daniel left, her dad would be full of inquiries about the nature of their relationship that she wasn’t prepared to answer. But it was still worth it.
TWENTY-ONE
The Island
Being on the island brought back memories. It had been far too long since either Harper or her father had been out to visit Bernie McAllister, so when Brian invited her to tag along with him that afternoon, she happily accepted.
With Gemma still over at Alex’s, it was just the two of them, and that was a bit of a shame, since Gemma had always liked Bernie, too. Although, to be fair, Harper had never been that sure if it was the old man or if she really just loved the island.
Brian had borrowed a boat from a friend to get there, and he pulled up to Bernie’s dock, which was almost hidden among the bald cypress trees that grew out into the water. There was a narrow path to the boathouse, but otherwise the island was almost overgrown with cypress trees and loblolly pines. The trees towering above them were nearly taller than the island was wide.