grandparents’ land that brought you to Wyoming?”
“Initially. I had great memories. Didn’t know what it was at the time, but I felt such a sense of community.”
“I get that too. Weird, isn’t it?”
“Didn’t get that growing up in the big city?”
“It was hard to get to know your neighbors when fences and security systems surrounded each house. I’m not boohooing my childhood as a poor little rich girl.”
Renner caressed her arm. “Were you happy?”
“I guess. I didn’t know any differently. My mother died when I was four and my sister Harlow was two months old. My father remarried when I was eight. By my ninth birthday I was at boarding school. Spent summers at camp. Between the ages of thirteen and fourteen . . . I didn’t see my father at all.” Her stomach still turned queasy when she remembered the blank look on his face because he hadn’t recognized her.
“My mom died when I was young.” He stroked her hair. “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if your mother hadn’t died?”
“I used to. Those thoughts mostly cross my mind when people accuse me of being detached. I wonder how different I would’ve turned out if I’d had someone in my life showing me affection.” She cringed.
“Didn’t mean to make you feel bad, Tierney.”
“You didn’t. It makes me realize I want more than just sex with you.” When Renner stiffened, she rolled over to face him. “Not a wedding ring. More meaning . . . I want to be able to touch you, hug you, kiss you when we’re alone. Like this.”
His too-blue eyes were as tender as his smile. “Just when I’m sure I’ve figured you out, you throw me a curveball. I’m tryin’ to say this in the least sexual way possible, but any time, any way you wanna touch me, feel free.” He teased her mouth with his, each gentle smooch becoming longer. “I like bein’ with you, Tierney. You truly are something special.”
Despite the clichés and the internal warnings not to moon over him, the first man she’d slept with, at that moment, Tierney couldn’t help it. She fell a little in love with him.
Chapter Twenty-one
The night was glacial and Janie was so glad to be cuddled against Abe, hating that he’d had to go out in this nasty weather, especially after he’d nearly frozen to death a week ago.
Abe hadn’t come home after doing a cattle check during which snowfall had turned into a full-blown blizzard. Unable to reach him on his cell, she panicked, calling Hank. He’d tried to get her to stay put while he checked for his brother, but Janie insisted on going along.
After two hours of inching through pastures and over snowdrift-covered fences, they found Abe. He’d high-centered his pickup. Both the battery in his truck and his cell phone were dead. Abe knew not to battle the elements, remaining sheltered in the cab of his truck. He’d dressed warmly, but subzero temperatures for six hours had chilled him to the bone. Hank had to carry Abe out of the cab and to his truck.
They returned to Hank’s house so Lainie could determine if Abe needed medical attention. The storm became so bad the roads were closed and Janie and Abe ended up spending the night at Hank and Lainie’s. Took hours before Abe thawed out. Janie never left his side. She held him through the teeth-chattering shivers and the pain when his limbs warmed. When he’d finally fallen asleep and she realized he was going to be okay, without permanent damage, she let her tears fall.
Yet even the scare wouldn’t change anything. Cattlemen were a breed apart, more concerned for the lives of the animals they cared for than for their own safety. He wouldn’t stay safe inside when the wind was raging and the snow flying. Abe’s compassion was one of the things she loved most about him.
But since that incident, life with Abe in the Lawson household had changed. She knew the reason for Abe’s change from casual to possessive—when she admitted she feared for his life and understood how helpless he’d felt after the car accident. That brutal honesty opened the door to his true unrestrained affection. Even when neither spoke of how long they’d continue to play house without promises.
Still, Janie felt Abe was holding something back from her. And because she loved this new openness, she wouldn’t let her questions go unaddressed another day.
“Abe?”
“Mmm?”
“You asleep?”
“Uh-huh.”
She elbowed him. “I’m serious.”
“Janie. I’m whupped. You wore me out.”
“So if I said I was ready for another round of rambunctious sex? Would that wake you up?”
They were spooned together so she felt his dick twitch against her backside. “Okay. Now you’ve got my interest. What’s up?”
“I want to know what really happened between you and Nancy.”
Abe groaned. “You really want to talk about this now?”
No better time than when they were curled together, satisfied from a bout of good lovin’ and drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms. “Yes. You demanded the down and dirty details about how I ended up with a loser like Dave. I told you. It’s been a couple of weeks since I brought this up. Don’t think I’ve forgotten you haven’t told me anything about her.”
The way his body went on full alert Janie wondered if she’d just opened a big old can of worms.
“How detailed you want me to get?” His breath tickled her ear. “Because I can tell you stuff that’ll make you look at me in a whole different light.”
He had to be bluffing. She scoffed, “Doubtful. But take your best shot.”
His rumbled, “Remember you said that,” sent the hair on the back of her neck on end in a deliciously powerful shiver.
“For a long time after you left I wasn’t interested in any relationship. If I wanted to get laid I did. I drove to Casper. Or Rawlins. Trolled in the bars of the rodeo towns if I was with Hank. Got off and got gone.”
Janie had a hard time believing that. “No woman around these parts piqued your interest? You didn’t look at someone like Harper and think, damn, she’d make a helluva ranch wife?”
Abe slid his leg between hers. “Single suited me fine until Hank and Lainie got married. I wasn’t unhappy, just floating along. Then I met Nancy.”
“What was the attraction? From the grumbling I’ve heard, she didn’t have a fantastic personality. She wasn’t rich. Her father didn’t own a liquor store. Did she have pistol grip ears?”
Abe snickered at their old “perfect woman” joke. “She was opinionated; she didn’t care if she pissed people off, including my family and friends. She preferred to do things her way. She complained. A lot.”
“Still not seeing her appeal, Abe.”
“You wouldn’t.”
Indignant, she said, “It’s not because I’m jealous.”
“Of course you’re not,” he said smoothly. “But Nancy’s appeal? She’d do anything in bed. And I mean anything.”
Janie froze.
“Shocked?” he murmured, sending gooseflesh cascading down her spine.
“Doesn’t seem like a trait that would matter to you.”
“But see, cupcake, that’s where you’re wrong. I had the normal marriage where the most exciting place we fucked was the laundry room. Where the sex between us wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t honest either. It was perfunctory. Occasionally great. But pretty straightforward. When I started racking up bedroom miles, I learned a whole slew of new tricks. And I figured out I like sex. A lot of sex. Add a little kink to it, put me in charge and I was a new man.”
A funny tickle started low in her belly.
“Women who prefer one-night stands are game to try anything. I’d likely never see them again, right? Made it easier to tell them to do things I’d never dream of askin’ my sweet wife to do.”
“I don’t recall you asking me to do much in the bedroom,” she retorted. “So how could I’ve known what you wanted?”
“You couldn’t have. I wasn’t honest with you, Janie, because at the time, I hadn’t accepted
that side of myself. My first date with Nancy? Boring. I’d decided no second date, because she had some really fucking annoying qualities. But she showed up at the ranch the next day, in the middle of the afternoon. Freaked me out, especially when she claimed I was the type of man she’d been lookin’ for.”
“What kind of man was that?”
“Uninhibited. Forceful. To prove it she sucked me off in the goddamn barn. She got herself off in front of me with a vibrator she just happened to bring along.” His voice rumbled in her ear. “That’s a serious turn-on for me, watching a woman get herself off. After she finished I bent her over the bench and fucked her.”
Holy shit. What was she supposed to say?
“I couldn’t tell my friends Nancy was fulfilling my every raunchy fantasy. Except Ike had an idea after he joined us for a few threesomes.”
Janie blurted, “You had more than one?”
“Shocked yet?”
“Uh. Yeah.”
Abe brushed his warm, soft mouth over the same spot behind her ear. The goose bumps would appear, then recede and appear again with every unerring sweep of his lips.
“Ever been in a threesome?”
“No.”
“Oh, sweet Janie. It’s a thing of beauty watching a woman give herself over to the whims of two men. Imagine one man sucking on your nipples while the other man sucks between your legs? Jacking off two guys and watching their come splat all over your body? Sucking one dick while the other dick is rammed up your pussy? Blowing one guy while the other guy’s cock is reaming your ass?” His voice dropped an octave. “Tell me . . . have you ever been to that line between pleasure and pain? Where one little nudge either way... and you explode?”
The way he’d described it? Janie was jealous of Nancy—because she’d elicited such a strong response from Abe. Like most women, Janie had wondered how it’d feel to have two sets of hands touching her skin, two hungry male mouths on her body. But it’d always remained in the realm of fantasy. “Was this a regular thing with you, Nancy and Ike?”
“Happened a couple of times. Nancy was really into it. Ike was into it. About that time, you blew back into town.”
“And threw a wrench into everything. What would’ve happened if I hadn’t taken the temporary job at the Split Rock and disrupted your life? Would you be twirling Nancy on a pleasure swing in here while you flog her ass and confess your love?”
His voice was fierce. “I didn’t love her. I had no intention of loving her. But I’d reached the point in my life where hot sex was enough. It was more important than love.”
He hadn’t denied wanting kinky stuff on a permanent basis, just denied the emotional attachment to it. Had she done this to him when she’d left him? Rendered him incapable of loving?
“Surprised?” he murmured in a silken drawl.
Janie snapped, “No,” a little too quickly.
“Or are you surprised that I admitted it?”
“I’m surprised you’re bragging about it.”
Abe didn’t give her the angry, defensive response she expected. Instead, he laughed. “I ain’t one to brag, but I’ve never had any complaints about my demands or my performance in bed.”
Luckily she didn’t have to look him in the eyes when she asked the next question. “Did you reveal this side of yourself because you think I’m incapable of letting loose? Is this a warning that sex has been boring? I’m somehow holding you back from being Abe, master of kink?”
Abe rolled her over to face him. “No. It’s been great.”
Janie let her fingers trace the shape of his mouth. “Not exactly a ringing endorsement.”
He didn’t deny it.
She knew what she had to do. What she’d wanted to do since the moment he’d taken her on the kitchen counter. “Will you show me what you want me to be in bed?”
“Teasing me isn’t smart.”
“I’m not teasing. I’m serious.”
His eyes glittered with a look she’d never seen before. A look that made her nervous. And very very hot. “Prove it.”
“How?” As if she didn’t know.
“By doin’ anything I tell you to do. Without question.”
Could she?
Yes.
“I’ll do it. But no pain.”
“You don’t get to decide that. I’d never beat on you or make you bleed, but if you haven’t experienced the bite of pain that comes from pleasure games, how can you know whether or not you’ll like them?”
“You’ll stop if I tell you to?”
Abe stared at her steadily. “You either trust me, or you don’t. Choose.”
Wow. He wasn’t giving an inch.
That was really forceful. Fierce. Sexy.
She said, “Okay,” so quietly she wondered if he’d heard her.
But he did. Abe didn’t pounce, but gave her a very thorough kiss before he moved to rummage in his dresser.
Would he come back with a paddle? Or something kinky she’d never seen before? She’d browsed in sex toy stores, but she’d mostly stayed in the vibrator section.
When Abe turned around, she couldn’t tell what was in his hands. He sat on the edge of the bed. “Stand.” As soon as she was in front of him, he said, “Close your eyes and keep them closed until I say otherwise.”
His mouth latched on to her right nipple and he suckled strongly. Used his teeth to tug the tip into a rigid point. She loved the way he just knew how far he could push her. One last hard suck and she felt a sharp pinch. Then he focused that same precise attention on her other nipple, and again she experienced a pinching sensation.
Abe kissed the top of each breast and murmured, “You can open your eyes.”
Janie glanced down and saw a small rubber tube attached to each of her nipples. He pinched the ends. She gasped at the sensation—like two mouths.
“I knew these’d be perfect for you.” He pinched them again. “And no, I never used these on anyone else. I got these specifically for you in the hopes . . .”
“That I’d come around?”
“Oh, make no mistake, darlin’, I would’ve brought you around.”
Gulp.
“This is a part of who I am. You understand that, right?”
Maybe not completely, but if she wanted to be with him, she’d have to accept it. “Right. Where’d you get these? Because I’m pretty sure the C-Mart doesn’t carry them.”
He grinned. “Gotta love online shopping.”
“What else did you order to get the free shipping?”
“You’ll have to wait and see, won’t you.” Abe kissed every inch of her breasts, but avoided the nipple area. By the time he said, “On the bed on all fours,” the inside of her thighs were completely soaked.
She expected he’d stretch his big, hot body over hers and fuck her from behind. But he slid beneath her until his cock was in her face. “Suck me, Janie, while I suck on you.”
The first hot swipe of his tongue on her slit made her gasp. When she didn’t move because she was lost in the thrill of Abe’s mouth exploring the folds of her sex, he whacked her on the ass.
Janie took the tip of his cock between her lips. No deep throating in this position. Sixty-nine hadn’t ever been her favorite. Too hard to concentrate on blowing his mind when he was blowing hers. Even another sharp whack on her ass didn’t help her focus. Especially not when Abe’s fingers spread her pussy wide, exposing every wet inch to his sucking mouth and eager tongue. Then that wicked tongue snuck back and painted wet swirls around her anus before plunging deep into her channel again. She let Abe’s cock slip out of her mouth completely and moaned from the bottom of her lungs.
He stopped playing tease and retreat with her back door and focused all attention on her clit. His tongue rapidly flicked the little nub while his mouth sucked the flesh around it. He kept at it until that moment when the muscles spasmed and she ground her pussy into his face. “Oh, God, yes,” as she spiraled into that black hole of pleasure.
When the bloo
d stopped roaring in her ears, she sighed. “Sorry. I’m better at giving blow jobs when I’m not distracted by a tongue on my clit.”
He chuckled.
Janie kissed the tip of his cock. “Your turn.”
“Nope. Now I’ve got something else in mind.” He rolled from beneath her and brought them on their knees, back to front on the middle of the bed.
She closed her eyes as he ran those wonderfully callused hands all over her skin. Knowing all the right spots. Hitting them repeatedly. Until she seemed to float outside her own body.
“I love that purring sound you make whenever I touch you like this. It’s always driven me crazy.” Abe played with her nipples and nuzzled her in the maddeningly erotic manner that turned her brain to mush. “Know one thing I never asked you to try when we were married?”
“Sounds like there were lots of things you never asked me to try with you.”