Page 18 of Torn

“She’d rather tell you everything herself,” Finn said simply.

  “That sounds like her. ” I nodded. She was awake and wanted to see me. That had to be a good sign.

  Willa and Duncan gave me reassuring smiles, but they couldn’t mask their anxiety. I told them I’d be back soon, and that I was sure everything would be fine. I didn’t know if that was true or not, but I had to ease their fears somehow.

  I walked with Finn down the corridor to the parlor. Finn kept his pace slow and deliberate. I wanted to run to Elora, but I forced myself to stay with him. I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed my hands along them.

  “Is she angry with me?” I asked him.

  “The Queen?” Finn seemed surprised. “No. Of course not. Why would she be?”

  “I was arguing with her when she … If I hadn’t been antagonizing her, she might not have gotten so … sick. ”

  “No, you didn’t do this. ” He shook his head. “In fact, it’s good that you were with her. You got her help right away. ”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “You called for help using your thoughts. ” He tapped his forehead. “We were too far away, and we wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t done that. Elora might be in a lot worse shape if you hadn’t been there. ”

  “What’s wrong with her?” I asked him directly. “Do you know?”

  “She’ll need to tell you. ”

  I thought about pushing Finn for more information, but we were almost to her. Besides, it didn’t feel right to argue with him now.

  His whole demeanor had changed, seeming softer and more somber. He’d let some of his guard down around me again, and while I wasn’t in the mood to take advantage of that, I did enjoy the familiar feel of being with him without a giant wall between us. I missed him.

  Aurora came out of the parlor just before we reached it. Her normally flawless skin had gone gray. Her dark eyes were glossed over, and her hair hung in unruly waves around her face. She leaned up against the wall, supporting herself, and struggled to catch her breath.

  “Marksinna?” Finn quickly went to her, putting his arm around her to steady her. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m only tired,” Aurora said as Finn helped her to a chair in the hallway. She moved like an old woman, and her bones creaked as she eased herself down in the chair. “Will you get my son? I need to lie down, and I want him to help me home. ”

  “Yes, of course,” Finn said, and he gave me an apologetic look. “Princess, will you be all right seeing the Queen alone?”

  “Yes. ” I nodded. “Go get Tove. I’ll be fine. ”

  Finn hurried away to retrieve Tove for his mother, and I went on to the room. I felt guilty for leaving Aurora alone in the hallway looking so completely drained, but I had my own mother to attend to.

  The door to the parlor was still open, and I stayed in the hall for a moment, watching.

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  Elora lay on her chaise lounge, the way she had when I arrived, but she had a black fur blanket over her. Her raven hair had gone even whiter, so it now appeared to be white streaked with black and not the other way around. Her eyes were closed, and the blood had been wiped from her face.

  Garrett had pulled up a chair so he sat right next to her head. He held one of her hands in both of his, and gazed at her with worry and adoration. His tousled hair was even more unkempt than normal, and some of her blood stained his shirt.

  On the other side of the chaise lounge, Thomas stood keeping watch. He had the same stoic stance all the trackers did when they were on guard duty, but his eyes rested heavily on Elora. They weren’t filled with the same intensity as Garrett’s, but something glimmered in them, some faint remembrance of whatever had transpired between Thomas and Elora years ago.

  When she opened her eyes, it was Thomas that Elora looked up at. Garrett’s jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth, but he said nothing. He didn’t even drop her hand.

  “Elora?” I said timidly and stepped inside the room.

  “Princess. ” Her voice sounded weak, and she made a poor attempt at a smile.

  “You wanted to see me?” I asked.

  “Yes. ” She tried to sit up, but Garrett gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

  “Elora, you need to rest,” Garrett told her.

  “I am fine. ” She waved him off but lowered herself back down. “I need to speak privately with my daughter. Can you both leave us for a moment?”

  “Yes, Your Majesty. ” Thomas bowed. “But for your sake, please take it easy. ”

  “Of course, Thomas. ” She offered him a tired smile, and he bowed again before leaving.

  “I’ll be right down the hall if you need me,” Garrett said, but he seemed hesitant to stand. He wouldn’t even walk toward the door until Elora glared at him. “If you need anything, call for me. Or send the Princess. Okay?”

  “If it will get you to leave quicker, I will agree to anything. ” Elora sighed.

  Garrett paused as he passed me, and he looked like he wanted to say something, probably remind me to take it easy. Elora said his name, and he hurried along. He closed the door behind him, and I took his seat next to Elora.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  “I’ve been better, obviously. ” She readjusted the blanket over her, getting more comfortable on the chaise. “But I will live to fight another day, and that’s what matters. ”

  “What happened?” I asked. “Why did you just collapse?”

  “How old do you think I am?” Elora asked, turning so her eyes met mine. A few days ago they’d been almost black, but now they had the gray haze of cataracts.

  Her age was a hard question to answer. When I’d first met her, I’d have pegged her for fifty-something. A very beautiful fifty, but even then, she’d had an aged quality under her stunning features.

  Now, lying on the chaise, frail and tired, Elora looked even more advanced in age than that. She looked like an old woman, but I didn’t want to say that to her, of course.

  “Um … forty, maybe?”

  “You’re kind, and a bad liar. ” She pushed herself up, so she was sitting up a bit. “That’s something you’ll need to work on. The horrible reality is that being a leader involves a lot of lying. ”

  “I’ll practice my poker face later,” I said. “You look good, though, if that’s what you’re asking. Just tired and run-down. ”

  “I am tired and run-down,” Elora admitted wearily. “And I’m only thirty-nine. ”

  “Thirty-nine what?” I asked, confused, and she propped her head on her hand so she could look at me.

  “Thirty-nine years old,” she said, smiling wider. “You seem shocked. I don’t blame you. Although I’m surprised you didn’t catch on sooner. I told you that I married your father when I was very young. I had you when I was twenty-one. ”

  “But…” I stammered. “Is that what’s wrong with you? Are you aging too fast?”

  “Not exactly. ” She pursed her lips. “It’s the price we pay for our abilities. When we use them, they drain us and age us. ”

  “All the stuff you do—like the mind-speak and holding Loki prisoner—that’s killing you?” I asked.

  She nodded. “I’m afraid so. ”

  “Then why do it?” I wanted to shout at her, but I kept my voice as even as I could. “I can understand defending yourself, but calling Finn with mind-speak? Why would you do something if it’s killing you?”

  “The mind-speak doesn’t use as much. ” Elora waved it off. “The things that are really draining I only do when I have to, like housing a prisoner. But what uses it the most is the precognitive painting, and that I can’t control. ”

  I glanced at several paintings Elora had leaned up against the windows. Across the hall, she had a locked room filled with these paintings.

  “What do you mean, you can’t control it?” I asked. “Just don’t do it. ”

>   “I can’t see the visions, but they fill my head. ” She gestured to her forehead. “It’s an agonizing blackness that takes over until I paint and get them out. I can’t stop them from coming, and it’s too painful to ignore them. I would go insane if I tried to keep them all inside. ”

  “But it’s killing you. ” I slumped in the chair. “Why even teach other Trylle how to use their abilities, if it means they’ll grow weak and old?”

  “That’s the price. ” She sighed. “We go mad if we don’t use them, we age if we do. The more powerful we are, the more cursed we are. ”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “I’ll go crazy if I stop?”

  “I don’t really know what will happen to you. ” Elora rested her chin on her hand, eyeing me. “You’re your father’s daughter too. ”

  “What?” I shook my head. “You mean because I have Vittra blood too?”

  “Precisely. ”

  “Tove told me about them. He said they’re very strong, but I’m not strong. ” I remembered all the fights I’d been in throughout my illustrious school career, and how I’d taken a beating as often as I’d given one. “I’m not like that. ”

  “Some are physically strong, yes,” Elora clarified. “That Loki Staad, I believe, is very strong. If I recall correctly, he could lift a grand piano by the time he could walk. ”

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  “Yeah, I can’t do that. ”

  “Oren isn’t that way. He is…” She trailed off, thinking. “You met him. How old do you think he is?”

  “I don’t know. ” I shrugged. “A few years younger than you, maybe. ”

  “When I married him, he was seventy-six, and that was twenty years ago,” Elora said.

  “Whoa. What?” I stood up. “You’re telling me that he’s nearly a hundred? He’s over twice your age? So you look older, and he looks younger? How?”

  “He’s something like immortal. ”

  “He’s immortal?” I gaped at her.

  “No, Princess, I said he’s something like immortal,” Elora said carefully. “Oren ages, but at a much slower rate, and he heals very quickly. It’s hard for him to be hurt. He’s one of the last pure-blooded Vittra to be born. ”

  “That’s what makes me so special, and that’s why you weren’t worried when I told you that my host mother almost killed me. ” I rested my hands on the back of the chair, supporting myself with it. “You think I’m like him. ”

  “The hope is that you’re like us both,” Elora said. “You’ll have the Trylle abilities to move and control things, and the Vittra abilities to heal and be strong enough to handle them. ”

  “Holy hell. ” My hands trembled, and I sat down. “Now I know how a racehorse feels. I wasn’t conceived. I was bred. ”

  Elora bristled a bit at the accusation. “That’s not exactly how it was. ”

  “Really?” I looked over at her. “That’s why you married my father, wasn’t it? So you could make me—your perfect little biological weapon. Once you did, you left him and tried to keep me all for yourself. That’s what this whole feud is about now, isn’t it? Who can control me?”

  “No, that’s not right. ” Elora shook her head. “I married your father because I was eighteen and my parents told me to. Oren seemed kind at first, and everyone told me it was the only way we could stop the fighting. I could stop the bloodshed if I would only marry him, so I agreed to it. ”

  “What bloodshed?” I asked. “What were the Trylle and the Vittra fighting over?”

  “The Vittra are dying. Their abilities are fading, they’re running out of money, and Oren’s always believed that he’s entitled to anything he wants. ” Elora took a breath. “What he wanted was everything we had. Our wealth, our population.

  “But what he wanted most was my power,” she went on. “My mother’s, originally. When she refused his advances, he waged endless battles against us. We used to be a great people with cities all over the world, but now he’s left us with a few isolated pockets. ”

  “And you married that? A man who killed your people because your mother wouldn’t have him?” I asked.

  “They didn’t explain it all to me when we became engaged, but Oren agreed to peace in exchange for my hand in marriage,” Elora said. “My parents believed they didn’t have a choice, and Oren turned on the charm. He might not have telekinesis, but Oren can be very persuasive when he wants. ”

  “So you married him and united the people. What went wrong?” I asked.

  “Some of the cities revolted, refusing to mix with the Vittra,” Elora said. “My parents were still King and Queen, and they wanted to reason with them. They sent Oren and me as ambassadors, to sway them to our way of thinking.

  “In the very first city, people questioned us. Him in particular,” Elora continued. “He managed to charm them, and using some of my own persuasion, we convinced even the most ardent doubter to join the Vittra alliance. Later, this would prove to be a fatal mistake.

  “I never loved Oren, but in the beginning of our marriage, I cared for him. I thought I might one day grow to love him. What I didn’t realize was how hard he had to work to be that way, and as we went on our tour, his mask began to slip.

  “We stopped in a village in Canada, and we had a town hall meeting with all the Trylle, the way we had in the other cities. ” Elora paused, staring out the window at the icy weather. “Everyone was there. Even the mänsklig children, all the trackers and their families.

  “Someone asked Oren what he hoped to gain from all this, and for some reason, it was more than Oren could bear. ” She let out a deep breath and lowered her eyes. “He began yelling and attacking them, and the villagers began fighting back. So … Oren killed them all. We were the only two survivors.

  “He spun the story, and I went along with it because I didn’t know what else to do. My parents had convinced me that we needed him for peace. Oren was my husband, and I had been complicit in the murders of our own people because I didn’t stand up to him. If I had, I would’ve been killed too, but that didn’t change the fact that I did nothing to save them. ”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, unsure how else to respond to her confession.

  “Oren was labeled a war hero, and I…” She trailed off, picking absently at the fur that covered her.

  “Why did you stay with him?” I asked.

  “You mean after I realized that I’d married a monster?” Elora asked with a sad smile. “I didn’t used to be the way I am now. I was much more trusting, much more willing to hope and believe, and follow. That is one thing I can thank your father for. He made me realize that I had to be a leader. ”

  “What made you finally leave?” I asked.

  “Oren made an effort after we got back. He tried to be kind, or as kind as he could manage. He didn’t beat me or call me names. He would be patronizing to my every thought or word, but we had peace. No war. No deaths. A bad marriage seemed worth it to me. I could handle that if no one else had to die.

  “Then I became pregnant with you, and it all changed. ” Elora rearranged herself on the chaise. “What I didn’t realize then was that you were all he ever wanted. A perfect heir to his throne. We tried for nearly three years before I conceived, and the wait had worn on him as it was.

  “As soon as he found out he was having a child, it was like a switch flipped inside him. ” Elora snapped her fingers. “He was even more domineering. He never let me leave the room. He didn’t even want me to leave the bed, in case it would risk losing you.

  “My mother and I began looking into families for you to go to. I knew I had to leave you as a changeling, not because it was what we did, but because I couldn’t let Oren raise you. ” She shook her head. “Oren did not want that. He wanted you all for himself.

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  “So when my father, the King, decreed that you must be a changeling, the way all heirs to the throne had been, Oren took me, and we left. We lived in O
ndarike, where he had me locked up as a prisoner.

  “Two weeks before you were due, my mother and father broke me out of his palace. My father was killed in the fight, along with many other brave Trylle. My mother took me away to a family she’d been secretly researching—the Everlys. It was a hasty switch, but they seemed to have everything you would need.

  “After I had you, I…” She stopped, completely lost in thought.

  “You what?” I prompted when she didn’t say anything.

  “It was the best thing for you,” she said. “I know you had problems with your host family, but I didn’t have time to pick or be choosy. I just needed you hidden from Oren. ”

  “Thank you,” I said lamely.

  “As soon as you were born, I left. Your grandmother held you, but I didn’t have the chance. We had to run to keep the Vittra off your scent. We went to a safe house, a chalet in Canada. When Oren had lived here, we hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him of all our secret places. ” She closed her eyes and took a breath. “But he found us in the chalet.

  “That Markis you’re so fond of?” Elora gestured in the direction of Loki’s room. “It was his father that led Oren to us. He’s the one who got everyone killed.

  “Oren killed my mother in front of me, and he vowed to get you as soon as you returned. ” Elora swallowed. “He let me live because he wanted me to see him follow through on his promise. He wanted me to know that he’d won. ”

  TWENTY-ONE

  confessions

  I wanted to ask Elora more questions, but she already looked so worn. She would never admit to being exhausted, but it was painfully clear that she should’ve been sleeping instead of speaking to me in the first place.

  We talked for a bit more, and then I excused myself. I paused when I reached the door and looked back. Elora had already sunk down on the chaise, and she held her hands over her eyes.

  Garrett waited outside the door, pacing the hall. Thomas stood a few yards down, giving him space, and Aurora and Finn were long gone.

  “How is she?” Garrett asked.

  “She’s … good, I think. ” I really wasn’t sure how Elora was doing. “She’s resting, and that’s what counts. ”

  “Good. ” Garrett nodded. He stared at the closed drawing room door for a moment, then turned his concern to me. “Your talk went well, then?”

  “Yeah. ” I rubbed the back of my neck. I didn’t know what to make of it all.

  Elora had been so cold to me since I’d met her, to the point where I’d been certain she hated me, but now I wasn’t so sure. I had no idea how she must feel about me.

  Elora hadn’t been much older than me when she married a man over three times her age, a man she didn’t even know. He turned out to be ruthless and cruel, but she sacrificed her happiness and well-being for her kingdom.

  Then, to defend her unborn child, to save me, she risked everything. Both her parents lost their lives in a matter of months, killed by her own husband, for a child she couldn’t even be around.

  I wondered if she hated me, if she blamed me for her parents’ deaths, for all the trouble Oren had caused her since I’d been born.