Ayce smiled back. ‘I bring chopped salad?’
‘Yes, please, Ayce, I’d like to eat now.’ Justine sat down at the table and picked up the glass of iced tea Ayce had just poured, took a sip. Ayce hurried off.
It was a lovely night, the sky a deep pavonine blue, with stars gradually coming out, and a hint of moon floating above Central Istanbul. Justine found herself relaxing, her mind focused on Michael.
THIRTY-EIGHT
After supper on the terrace, Justine returned to her bedroom. Now that she had spoken to Michael, and had a short respite from the book, she wanted to start reading it again, needing to know more about her grandmother’s past.
Within seconds she had settled herself in the chair, picked it up, and turned the pages until she came to the part where she had left off.
When I returned to the Schloss after my walk, Princess Arabella was waiting for me in the great room. Do you feel better now? she asked me. I nodded. I needed to calm myself, I explained. I sat down in the chair opposite her. And waited for her to speak. I could see she looked serious. She said, Let us go to my study, Gabriele. We must make the phone call to your aunt in London. Let us do it now. She must be told. I nodded. Stood up. Followed her out of the room. Her study was across the hall. She went straight to the desk. Beckoned for me to follow. I did. Indicating the chair where I should sit, she picked up the receiver. Handed it to me. I knew my aunt’s number by heart. I dialled her in London. Waited. Eventually it rang through. She answered it. I said, It’s me, auntie Beryl. Gabriele. Oh hello, darling, how are you? she asked in her warm but brisk voice. I was suddenly unable to speak. My throat closed. I gulped. Then I managed to say, Mummy has disappeared, auntie Beryl. And Papa and Erika. They were taken by the Gestapo.
Auntie Beryl cried, No! No! Oh no, not my darling Stella, not Dirk and Erika. It’s true, I said. Where are you? she cried in alarm. Are you safe? I am with Arabella von Wittingen. Here she is, auntie Beryl. I could hear my aunt weeping, trying to control herself at the other end of the phone. I stood up.
After greeting my aunt, whom she knew, Arabella sat down, sympathized with her, gave her the details that I had passed on earlier. She told my aunt I could stay with them. I would be safe in the country. She also said that Princess Irina Troubetzkoy could get me an exit visa. That they were going to get me to England. Somehow. To her.
My aunt must have told her she would send money, as much as they needed, because Arabella said, ‘No, Beryl, we don’t need lots of money from you. We don’t need any. Thank you. My husband is happy to do this for Gabriele. We will stay in touch. As soon as we have the exit visa for Gabri we will let you know. We’ll phone when we have more news of Stella. Then she was listening to my aunt. Soon she beckoned me.
I went to the phone. My aunt said, Take care of yourself, Gabri. I am here waiting for you. And listen to the princess. She has your interests at heart, as if you are her own flesh and blood. I will, I promised. I hung up.
Princess Irina came into the study. She was smiling. I spoke to C. Is he going to help us with Gabri? Arabella asked. Of course, Irina replied, I feel as if a weight has been lifted. Now I am all ready to start working on your project.
I looked from one to the other. Arabella said, Come along, Gabriele. We are going to the attics. To rummage. In the trunks. For clothes. My new project. I followed the two princesses as we mounted the stairs.
At one moment I heard Irina say, We’re in for a long siege, Belle. I’m afraid C sounds very grave. He thinks the Nazi riots a week ago are only the beginning. He says Hitler has plans to engulf the Western democracies in war. A war like we’ve never seen. C is dismayed. So are many of the generals. They are angry. They want Hitler out.
Arabella nodded. I’m not surprised. There may well be a revolt. I agree we have to get rid of Hitler. One must always strike at the head of the beast, Arabella added. It’s the only way to kill it. The man is diabolical. And totally mad.
There were many large trunks in the attics. Arabella showed me one, directed Irina to another. Take everything out, examine it, and decide if it’s worth remaking. The seamstress I have works wonders. I did as she said, examined every piece of clothing. And listened. They spoke freely in front of me. They trusted me.
Princess Irina said, I asked C if he could get Gabri a new passport. But he doesn’t know if he can. Maybe false papers. But he prefers to use the legitimate passport. It worries me, though. Why, Arabella asked without lifting her head. It has J for Jew stamped on it. A new Nazi law was passed in October. Oh God, Arabella said in a low voice. What will they think of next? She sounded suddenly despondent.
Irina said, One of my Polish friends told me the other day that Goebbels has a new name for us young international aristocrats from foreign countries. He calls us international garbage. Irina laughed. Arabella didn’t. She said in an icy voice, And Doctor Goebbels is Nazi filth. She continued to rummage in the trunk.
Suddenly Arabella spoke again. I couldn’t believe my eyes at the British Embassy last week, she said. Somebody there must be crazy. They invited the worst trash, including a few so-called lady guests who looked as if they worked at Madame Kitty’s brothel.
This comment made Irina laugh again. But she remained silent. Arabella spoke in a brighter voice as she straightened, and closed the lid of the trunk. She said, Adam von Trott is coming to dinner on Saturday, and Reinhard and Renata von Tiegal. Would you like me to invite C? Irina stood staring at her. I’m not sure. He would enjoy it perhaps, she answered. All of our friends think the way he does. He is not socializing much these days. He has his hands full.
I understand, Arabella said. Kurt has great affection for him. Kurt and C are of the same ilk. By birth, upbringing, tradition and conviction, they are the antithesis of Hitler, all that he stands for.
Irina closed the lid of her trunk. I kept my head in mine. I wanted to listen to them. The Russian princess murmured, Many of the naval officers who work for him think the same way. In fact, there isn’t one ministry that doesn’t have men who hate the Nazis, condemn what they are doing. All these hateful acts infuriate them. Anyway, I will ask him, Belle.
Arabella told us to sort the clothes into separate piles of dresses, coats, jackets and suits. She told us that Prince Kurt predicted a long siege. Shortages soon. Food and clothes would be scarce. It would be a long and terrible war, she added.
Later I went to my room. I wanted to be alone. I was not in the room I usually had. Instead Arabella had put me in the one that my mother had always considered hers. I liked it. And it seemed to welcome me. I felt my mother’s presence everywhere.
Prince Kurt did not arrive until Saturday. He brought the children with him. Christian was twelve. Diana was nine. They were happy to see me. I enjoyed being their companion. There was only one rule we had to obey. We must speak English at all times. Even when Gretchen, their governess, was present. Princess Arabella insisted on this. It was no hardship. She wanted them to be fluent in her native language. She said I was a good influence because I spoke perfect English.
Later that afternoon, Arabella took me to the library to see the prince. He was kind, spoke gently to me. His news was bad. I sat with Arabella. Listening to him. I was shaking in every limb. He told us, Your parents and Erika were taken to Buchenwald. I made many enquiries. This is the information I have been given. I am so sorry, Gabriele. So very sorry.
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t stop shaking. My heart was crushed. I had lost them. I knew that. Whatever would I do without Mummy? And Papa and my little sister? And how would they manage without me? I always made them laugh when they were sad. I gave them all my love. I helped my mother. I looked after Erika. We had been one unit. Now I was one person. Alone.
Arabella witnessed my distress. She took me in her arms and held me close. I wept for a long time. She comforted me. And so did the prince. I asked if my family would be released after the war? He said, Of course they will, Gabri. That day will come. And it will be a day of r
ejoicing.
Later, when I was back in my room, I held on to that thought. I lay down on the bed, where my mother had slept, and I felt her presence once more. She was there with me. Hovering over me like a guardian angel. I could smell the scent of roses. Her favourite perfume. And if I closed my eyes I could hear her voice. Her lovely silky English voice. I wept for my family until I fell asleep.
That evening friends of the von Wittingens came to dinner. I saw them in the distance. Once I had eaten with the children and Gretchen I went back to my room. I was at ease there. I felt closer to my mother within those four walls. And safer.
Tomorrow Anita was coming to stay. This pleased me. I couldn’t wait for Markus to arrive with her. I soon fell asleep. I was exhausted. I must have slept for about an hour, maybe longer. Suddenly I woke up at the sound of voices in my room. I lay still, terrified. Listening. Had the Gestapo come to take me away? Within seconds I realized I was alone. Yet I still heard the voices. I turned on the lamp. My room was empty. The voices were coming from the fireplace. From the room underneath mine, downstairs. The parlour. I got out of bed and went to kneel in the fireplace. I heard Irina say, But even if Hitler is assassinated, there is still the government to deal with. That is true, a man’s voice responded. I recognized it. It was Reinhard von Tiegal speaking. He continued, I’m not planning to commit tyrannicide, I’m only speculating about it.
Another man’s voice entered the conversation. I knew it was Sigmund Westheim. He said, Any plot to kill Hitler would have to be comprehensive. Power would have to be seized instantly. Chosen men would have to run the government; they would have to be ready to take over the minute he was dead. Take full control.
Kurt said, There are many committed anti-Nazis amongst us. Maybe one of them can formulate a plan to get rid of that madman in the Reich Chancellery. I understand from certain sources that there have been a lot of crazy outbursts lately. He’s obviously totally mad. I tremble when I think of the atrocities he’ll commit next, if he isn’t stopped. I blame Hitler for that unconscionable brutality against the Jews. Kristallnacht was entirely his doing.
Princess Irina said, I understand from Canaris that a vast number of the generals want to stop Hitler. The admiral says that they all fear he will destroy Germany from within.
Prince Kurt spoke out. He said, As head of the Abwehr there’s nothing that the admiral doesn’t know. After all, he’s in charge of German Military Intelligence. He’s already doing so much, helping people to get out. Jews, Catholics, dissidents. Those targeted by the Gestapo. He takes terrible risks. Some say it’s an open secret he’s virulently anti-Nazi. Yet he manages to play the game with Hitler, who admires him. He’s walking a tightrope. Yes, he is a good man. We must protect him, be careful what we say, and to whom. There are Nazi spies all over. None of us is truly safe.
I heard the prince cough, then he continued, I propose a toast. To Admiral Wilhelm Canaris. A true hero. Prost!
Everyone said Prost, joining in the toast. Soon the voices faded away. The parlour became silent. They had gone in to dinner. I pushed my head deeper into the grate, not understanding how their voices had carried up here. But they had. There must be some flaw in the flue or the chimney. I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. I just couldn’t help it. And their secrets were safe with me.
I went back to bed, lay awake for a long time, thinking about what I had heard. Their words had cheered me up, given me hope. But they had also frightened me. I didn’t want anything to happen to my friends. Especially Irina. Although she was about twenty-seven, she seemed younger sometimes. And she was impulsive and brave. And she had her own standards, she had once told me. She had also explained that the Romanov autocracy had fallen when she was six, her mother twenty-five, which was when they had fled Russia. They had lived in Lithuania, Silesia and Poland before coming to Berlin. Despots and dictators, she would mutter sometimes. Our world ruined because of them and their thirst for power. I knew she would fight the Nazis with all of her strength. I just hoped she wouldn’t take too many risks.
Justine put the book down, astonishment written across her face. What she had just read astounded her. Obviously there had been enormous resistance to the Nazis in many quarters. Unexpectedly, she remembered once reading about the German aristocracy working against that hideous and evil Nazi regime. There had been underground movements all over Germany.
Rising, she put the book down and left her bedroom. Running downstairs, she went into the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the refrigerator. After taking a glass, she headed upstairs; she had to read more about her grandmother’s experiences.
THIRTY-NINE
As she returned to her bedroom, Justine made the decision to keep reading for as long as possible tonight. She had the urgent need to know more, wanted to bury herself in Fragments of a Life. Opening the black leather-bound book, she turned the pages until she came to where she had left off a few minutes before.
THE MARK BRANDENBURG 10 DECEMBER 1938
I was waiting in the small study which opened off the big hall when Gretchen poked her head around the door. I hear a motorcycle, she said, it must be Markus and Anita. Immediately I put down the book I was reading, jumped up off the sofa. Gretchen had gone out into the hall. I followed her. I was excited. Anita was coming to stay for a few days. Markus had brought her out for a visit in late November; I hadn’t seen her since then. The two princesses believed it was safer here than in Berlin. I agreed with them. Gretchen was standing on the front steps. I went to join her. She was laughing. I laughed too. For the first time in weeks.
Anita was sitting on the back of Markus’s motorcycle. Bundled up in scarves and a large green tartan beret I had brought back from London for her last year. She was wearing her very best navy-blue coat. Anita had acquired a windburn on her ride from Berlin. Her cheeks were like red apples. She was holding onto her brother tightly.
The motorcycle came to a roaring stop. I went down the steps, followed by Gretchen. I think the young governess liked Markus. A lot. Whenever he brought Anita here, or took her home, Gretchen was hovering. She was a nice young woman. I liked her. I think Markus did too.
Anita, always agile, a bit of a tomboy, jumped off the motorcycle, rushed to hug me. I’ve missed you, I said. Me too, Gabri, she answered, and grinned at me. As usual when she rode on the back of the bike, there was a rucksack on her back. She slipped it off and stood holding it.
Markus smiled at me and Gretchen. He asked, Where shall I park this? Gretchen said, Round the back near the kitchens. Will you stay to lunch, Markus?
Thank you. I will. Very kind of you, he answered. He roared off around the terrace to the back of the Schloss. Anita greeted Gretchen. Together we all went up the front steps and into the hall. I said to Anita, Prince and Princess von Wittingen have gone to see his mother. The children have gone too. They will return tonight. Princess Irina is here. She will see us later. She has gone riding with a friend. You’ve met her. Renata von Tiegal. She will have lunch at their Schloss.
I led Anita towards the staircase. Gretchen said she would wait for Markus at the back door, and disappeared down the corridor to the kitchen. Anita was pleased she was in her usual room. It was across the hall from mine. After she had unravelled herself from her coat and the many scarves, taken off the beret, she opened her rucksack. This is for you. She handed me a small package. I opened it, discovered my favourite marzipan fruits. Oh, thank you, Anita, I said. Hugged her.
She took a few other things out of her rucksack and put them away. The last thing she removed was her passport. She put this in the drawer too. I asked, How’s your mother? Worried, she answered. She frowned. Shook her head. She said, Mutti is worried about us living here alone. And about her sister, my aunt Leonie. She doesn’t get any better. If she dies my mother will come back to Berlin. Oh no, I said, dismayed. She can’t do that. It’s too dangerous. She’s better in Istanbul.
I know. She won’t listen to me. Or Markus. Anita sat down on the bed. She
said, Berlin is more dangerous than ever. People are disappearing all the time. The man who owns the bakery shop, Herr Schroeder, told me his brother-in-law was taken. The whole family. Anita lowered her voice. The Gestapo are everywhere. A friend of my brother’s says some people’s phones are tapped.
I simply nodded. I knew things were bad. Princess Irina had been to Berlin several times. She came back with horrendous stories. She, too, had mentioned phone tapping. I looked across at Anita and smiled. It faltered. Her face was suddenly glum. Her sparkly brown eyes were dull. What is it? I asked.
Do you think I can stay here indefinitely? With you? Will Princess von Wittingen let me? But aren’t you going to go with Markus to Turkey? I asked, startled. I’m waiting for my visa. It’s coming any day, Anita explained. But if it’s delayed, I want him to go by himself. I’ll join him later.
This talk alarmed me. She couldn’t travel alone. All the way across Europe to Istanbul. She hadn’t travelled very much. She wasn’t a veteran traveller like me.
She won’t let me stay, will she? Anita said, tears forming in her eyes. Of course she will, I instantly replied. I’ll ask her tomorrow. I got up, went to Anita, put my arms around her. Don’t cry, I murmured. I’ll make sure everything’s all right for you, Anita. I promise.
Hearing this brought a watery smile to her face. I know you will, Gabri. She stood up. We’d better go down to lunch. We found Gretchen and Markus sitting in the study, each drinking a glass of lemonade. Lunch will be ready in ten minutes, Gretchen announced to us. Lotte told me. I nodded. I walked over to the small side table and poured lemonade for Anita and myself.
It was Saturday, which was why Markus was not working. He sat back, comfortable in the armchair, drinking his lemonade. He looked relaxed. Except for his eyes. I instantly noticed the anxiety in them. I asked, How is Albert Wendt? I know he’s a good boss, a true friend to you. Markus nodded, sat up straighter. He said, Herr Wendt likes me, so he helps me. That’s why I was able to come here today. He gave me the day off. I was taken aback. Oh do you work on Saturdays now? I do. We all do, Markus replied. Munitions are vital. We’ve got to keep turning them out. We’re one of the biggest manufacturers, after Krupp.