***
My ball toss couldn’t be more perfect, and I slam my serve. That would have been an ace for sure—if anyone had actually been on the other side of the court.
Ash walks up to the chain link fence and laces his fingers through it. “Okay, I don’t know tennis, but that had to be good, right?”
I shrug one shoulder. “If only I could do that every time.” I step toward the fence, adjusting my racket strings as I walk. It’s a nervous habit, but Ash doesn’t know that.
“So.” He stares at me, not saying any more.
“So.” I clear my throat. “Where’s the rest of the team?”
Ash shrugs. “Gave them the day off.”
Ash isn’t the type to skip practice, even if it is just a captain’s practice. “Why?”
“I, um . . . ” He looks past the court for a moment. How can someone so seemingly perfect get so nervous around me?
“You want to learn to play?” I motion to my bag on the ground. “I have a spare racket.” What am I doing? I shouldn’t be encouraging this. “You don’t have to, though. I was actually going to do some laps soon anyway.”
“Oh.” His face falls. “Okay, well, I could definitely use a run if you’d like company.”
So he doesn’t have any interest in tennis at all. Maybe that’s for the best, because having things in common would only make me like him more. “Great. Let me just put my stuff in my car.”
Ash walks along the outside of the fence, falling in step with me. He doesn’t say anything as we head to my car. I pop the trunk and place my bag inside. When I turn around, Ash is closer than I expect and I jump.
“Sorry.” He runs his hands through his dark hair.
“It’s okay.” I laugh because I’m too nervous to do anything else. “How many laps do you usually run?” I ask, trying to get focus back on running and off how awkward I feel.
“Want to skip the track altogether and run on the fields?” He motions over his shoulder. “I could show you the loop the team does. It’s actually really pretty. We cut through the woods, and there’s this lake back there.”
“Sounds nice.” Just like being alone with Ash does. The thought should terrify me. It’s not part of my plan. But no one’s ever looked at me the way Ash is right now. Like I’m the only person in the world. “Let’s do it.”
He smiles before he starts jogging toward the playground on the edge of the school’s property. I’m pretty sure they put it there so younger siblings of the athletes would have something to do during games. Of course, there are some of us who believe you’re never too old for a good swing ride. Especially after a tough match.
Ash is quiet at first, even though we’re only jogging and not the least bit winded. I’m not sure what to say either. We’ve never hung out one-on-one like this. I really don’t know much about him.
“How’s the team looking for next year?” I ask when I can’t take the silence anymore.
“Not too bad.” He looks at me and laughs. “Actually, if I’m being honest, we look pretty awful. They’re great guys, though. They work hard.”
It’s sweet that he’s sticking up for his team. Everyone knows we’ve never had a good football team. We’ve had some good players, but not enough at the same time to win more than a game or two each season. “You’re going to be captain, right?”
He nods. “I’m trying to convince Coach to make Jackson co-captain. Coach thinks he’s too much of a hot head, though.”
Jackson is Ash’s best friend. They’re kind of opposites, but then again so are Grayson and I. She’s loud and speaks her mind. I’m . . . well, I’m trying to remember who I was before Derrick.
Ash leads us onto a path through the woods. It really is beautiful. I spend all my free time on the courts and never really even noticed this path was here. “So this leads to a lake?”
“Yeah, Horseshoe Lake. It’s—”
“Shaped like a horseshoe?” I ask.
He smiles. “How’d you guess?”
Something about his smile makes me slow down so I’m barely shuffling my feet.
“Everything okay?” He stops and reaches for my arm. “Do you have a stitch in your side or something?” The concern in his voice almost knocks me over.
I shake my head. “No. I’m fine.” My eyes scan the woods, taking in the scenery. “It’s just really pretty back here.”
“The lake is up this way.” Ash points ahead of us.
We walk the rest of the way, and I can’t help noticing the way Ash’s hand brushes mine every once in a while. I’m sure he’s doing it on purpose, trying to see how I’ll react to being this close to him. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I haven’t dated much at all since Derrick. I kind of gave up on high school guys. Except for admiring Noah from afar. But Ash is so different. He almost seems older, more mature. And he’s really sweet.
We reach a place where the path branches off, and Ash leads us to the left. After a few minutes of walking, the lake comes into view. “Wow,” I say. This would be the perfect place for a picnic. “I can’t believe I didn’t know this was here.” The team would love to swim here after practice.
“It’s kind of a little-known secret. If everyone knew about it, it would become—”
“A major hangout spot.” Our eyes meet, and I can’t help wondering if he realizes we’re finishing each other’s sentences. It’s comforting and unnerving at the same time how in sync we seem to be.
Ash reaches for my hand, and my eyes lower as his fingers wrap around mine. “Come on. You’ve got to see this.” He leads me out to the middle of the horseshoe. “Doesn’t it feel like we’re standing in the middle of the water?”
It does. We’re surrounded by water on all but one side. “It’s kind of magical.”
Ash looks down at me. He’s so close now that his full height becomes obvious. I’m not exactly short, but he’s got about half a foot on me. I swallow hard, not sure what he’s going to do or why he’s still holding my hand. He stares into my eyes for a moment before saying, “Want to put your feet in?”
“Yeah.” I nod and step back to remove my shoes, relieved for the interruption. Being this close to him is undoing the wall I’ve constructed. It’s like Ash is tearing down every block I’ve put up to guard myself from these feelings. I can’t get hurt like that again. I just can’t. But would Ash hurt me?
“You okay?” he asks, sitting down and removing his sneakers and socks.
“Yeah. Long day, I guess.” I put my socks in my sneakers and set them aside.
“Sorry, am I keeping you? I should’ve asked if you had other plans.” He motions over his shoulder. “We could head back if you want. I won’t be offended.”
I can’t keep the smile from crossing my face. All he’s worried about is me. How I’m feeling. What I want. It’s . . . nice.
I reach for his hand. “No. I’m good right here.”
He smiles, making his entire face light up. “Good, because I am, too.”
I look out at the water again. Baby steps. I think I could really like Ash, but I’m not ready to jump into anything just yet. He must sense that because he leads me to the edge and we sit down, dunking our feet. The water is cool, a perfect contrast to the hot sun shining down on us. It’s unusually warm for March. Last week it felt like winter, and this week it feels like summer. I lean back on my hands and raise my head to the sun, keeping my eyes closed so I don’t have to squint.
Ash is silent beside me, and I assume he’s enjoying the sun, too. But when I open my eyes, he’s staring right at me. I sit up straight, fidgeting with my hands in my lap.
“I’m sorry. I’m making you uncomfortable, aren’t I?”
Yes. A world of yes. “You’re fine. I’m just . . . ” Just what? I have no idea what I am.
“What are your plans for this summer?” Ash says, changing the subject, and I’m grateful for it.
“Practice mostly. No vacation plans or anything. How about you?”
“
The same. Oh, and swimming. I love to swim.”
“Do you have a pool?” I always wanted a pool, but we don’t exactly have the yard for it.
“Yeah. An in-ground pool with a Jacuzzi. It’s great after a long day of double-sessions. Not that those will start before late August.”
The conversation continues for well over an hour. We sort of fall into a comfortable groove. In a way, it’s like I’m talking to Grayson. If Grayson were a six-two, gorgeous football player.
It’s getting dark and goose bumps pop up all over my arms and legs. I hate practicing in anything but shorts or a tennis skirt, and I’m paying the price now that the sun is setting.
Ash’s eyes lower to my legs. “You’re cold.”
“It’s fine. We have to run back anyway, right? I’ll warm up quickly.”
Ash stands and offers me his hand. I take it, avoiding his eyes. He pulls me to my feet, but holds on so we’re facing each other with mere inches between us. As much as I want to look away, I’m powerless to do so. Ash’s eyes are hypnotic. When I’m sure he’s about to lean down and kiss me, and not sure what I’m going to do in response, he says, “Do you have plans for Friday night?”
Grayson and I usually go to the movies on Friday night—if she doesn’t have a date. I don’t think she’d care if I bailed. She’s been on my case to start dating again.
“Meg?” Ash gives my hand a small squeeze.
“Sorry. Like I said, it’s been a long day.”
“So, Friday . . . ?”
I’m still not sure what to do. Ash isn’t like other guys I’ve met, but I’ve been focusing on me—on finding myself again after Derrick destroyed every ounce of self-confidence I had. But Ash isn’t Derrick. He’s the furthest thing from Derrick.
“No. No plans,” I say.
He smiles. “Good. What do you say to a movie then? I could pick you up at seven.”
“I’d love to,” I say without hesitation, surprising both Ash and myself.