Which meant they needed love even more.
Joshua went upstairs. Penny’s door was open. She lounged on the window seat, flipping through a movie magazine. She got up when she saw him and came to the door. “Good luck. You’ll need it. She’s an idiot!” Her voice rose. “Abra wouldn’t listen to God if He appeared in a burning bush.” She threw the magazine on the floor, raising her voice another notch. “She thinks I’m jealous. I’m not!” she yelled. “You’re going to be sorry you ever met Dylan, Abra!”
“Penny!” Priscilla called from downstairs. “That’s enough!”
In tears, Penny slammed her bedroom door.
At least one Matthews girl had seen through the disguise.
Joshua tapped on Abra’s door. “Abra? It’s Joshua.”
The lock turned and the door drifted open. Abra walked back to her unmade bed. She didn’t look at him as she sat cross-legged on the bed and picked up her hairbrush. “Are you here as a friend or foe?” She sounded hostile.
“When have I ever been your foe?”
She kept her face turned away as she yanked the brush through her hair. “Then close the door. I don’t want that little witch across the hall to hear anything we say to each other.”
No matter how long he’d known her, it felt wrong to be closeted alone with her in a bedroom, even if Peter and Priscilla approved under the current circumstances. “Maybe we should go out for a walk.”
“I’m grounded.”
Joshua shrugged and closed the door. He took the chair from her small desk and turned it around, straddling it. Abra continued brushing her hair. He looked around the room. It felt like a hotel room, not her personal living space. Everything matched perfectly except for the bulletin board with pinups of old-time movie stars more suited to Mitzi’s generation than Abra’s. His heart lifted when he spotted two pictures of himself, one in his high school graduation cap and gown and the other in uniform. At least he still mattered somewhere in the scheme of things. Maybe there was still hope.
“So . . . what’s going on?”
She lifted her chin, pale-green eyes spitting fire. “Nothing.” She clenched the brush as though she intended to throw it at his head. “Yet.”
“Yet?”
“Dylan and I have a lot in common.”
“Like what?” He kept his tone cool, though everything inside him tightened up for battle.
“His father left him when he was a baby.”
“What else do you know about him?”
Her eyes flickered. “He plans to get his degree in business and marketing.”
“Sounds like a family thing.” He tried to sound neutral, but her eyes flashed again.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Cole Thurman is reputed to be a consummate businessman. That’s all I meant.”
She went back to brushing her hair. “He’s trying to make up for the years he lost with Dylan.”
Joshua fought against the anger rising in him. It had been boiling beneath the surface since he came back from Korea. “How well do you really know Dylan Stark?”
“He doesn’t like pretense. He wants me to be myself.”
“Oh, really.” Sarcasm dripped this time and he knew he was already defeated.
“He understands me!”
“He understands you’re attracted to him. I saw that much at the Swan. This isn’t about love, Abra. It’s about sex, the basest kind.”
Her mouth fell open and her face flamed red. “You’re disgusting!”
He stood so quickly the chair toppled. “I’m telling you the truth!”
“Dylan says I’m beautiful. Dylan says I’m smart. Dylan loves me!”
“Dylan will say anything to get what he wants!”
“He wants me.”
“I don’t doubt that! But for how long? His affection for Penny didn’t last a week.”
She smiled and lifted her chin. “He said Penny is water, and I’m wine.”
Dylan seemed to know exactly what Abra wanted to hear. It infuriated Joshua that she didn’t know what the guy was up to. He righted the chair and sat again, hands clasped between his knees this time, fighting his emotions. “Listen to me, Abra. Hear me out. We’re friends. Give me that much.” When she didn’t say anything, he prayed as he spoke. “A man who loves you will strive to bring out the best in you.”
“I am my best when I’m with Dylan.”
He gripped his knees. “Vain and rebellious? Completely self-centered, without a thought of what you’re doing to your family? This is your best?”
Abra’s eyes filled with tears of accusation. “You’re supposed to be my best friend, and you can say that to me?”
“I say it because I love you.” She had no idea how much.
“You know what, Joshua? I used to think you were the only real, true friend I had.” Her eyes went cold. “Now I know you’re just like all the rest.”
The wound in his side throbbed. “I’m still your friend, the best friend you’ll ever have.” And more, so much more. “And I always will be.”
She tossed the brush on the unmade bed, got up, and went to the door. She opened it and stood aside. “Thanks ever so much for coming by.” She spoke in a sugary tone, then added ice. “Don’t bother ever coming back.”
Joshua stepped over the threshold. She uttered a choked cry, slammed the door, and locked it.
Joshua stood in the hallway, stunned. It was over before it had ever begun. I’ve lost her, Lord. Oh, God, I’ve lost her.
Joshua’s nightmares returned, worse than ever. He dreamed he was back in Korea, suffering through a cold white winter, running—always running—to save someone he couldn’t quite reach. Dad awakened him almost every night and sat and prayed over him while Joshua lay panting, fighting the panic that lurked just under the surface.
Gil MacPherson called and invited Joshua out to the ranch. Dad had suggested it. “He was a medic at Normandy. I think he might understand better what you’re going through than I can.”
Gil did.
Dad still went out every morning for his long walk around town. Joshua knew he still stopped at Peter and Priscilla’s gate. He still prayed for Abra.
And Dylan Stark still showed up in town. A high school teacher friend of Peter’s said he’d seen a red Corvette parked at the cyclone fence on the far side of the high school football field. Dylan Stark had also been seen near Eddie’s Diner, where students liked to hang out.
Joshua knew Dylan wouldn’t give up. Dylan was biding his time, waiting for an opportunity to take what he wanted. Peter couldn’t keep Abra grounded forever.
Abra felt like she was going crazy. All she could think about was Dylan and when she could see him again.
Classes let out for lunch break; the halls and corridors swarmed as students made their way outside, sitting in clusters on the lawn, sitting at picnic tables set up under the trees near the shop building, or gathering in groups on the football field. When Abra spotted Dylan standing by the cyclone fence, she darted a look around and went to him. She gripped the wire. “It’s good to see you.”
His fingers curled over hers. “That’s all you’ve got to say?” He looked angry, frustrated. “When are you going to break out of that prison they’ve locked you in?”
“Peter grounded me for a month, Dylan. I still have two weeks to go.”
“I’m not waiting around for another two weeks, baby. I’m sick of this town.”
Her heart knocked hard and fast. “Please don’t go.”
“Come with me.” His fingers tightened, hurting her.
“Where would we go?”
“Does it matter? You love me, don’t you?” At her breathless nod, he stepped closer. “I want to get my hands on you. We were barely getting started that day I took you home. We’re going to be good together, baby. We could go to San Francisco, Santa Cruz, wherever we want to go.”
She didn’t doubt he loved her. “You know I want to get away, Dylan.”
He let her go and stepped back from the fence. “Then meet me at the bridge at midnight.”
Tonight? “I can’t!” She couldn’t think that fast.
“Can’t or won’t? Maybe I was wrong about you.” He walked away.
“Dylan! Wait! I’ll be there.”
He looked back then and smiled. “If you’re not, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what you missed.” He kept walking this time and didn’t look back.
Abra ate even though she wasn’t hungry. It was Penny’s turn to do the dishes, and Abra asked to be excused. She had homework to do and was a little tired. Maybe she’d go to bed early.
Peter looked at her, a faint question in his eyes. “Sure you don’t want to join us in the living room? Watch a little television?”
“I wish. I have a report due on Friday.” Two lies in a row and it didn’t even bother her.
With everyone downstairs, it was easy for her to slip into Penny’s room and steal a suitcase from the set Priscilla had given her for Christmas. Penny wanted to go to Mills College. Ian Brubaker said Abra should go to Juilliard. But she only wanted one thing now. To be with Dylan.
The suitcase wasn’t big enough for everything, but Abra packed what she could and hid it under her bed. It was after nine o’clock before Peter came upstairs. An hour after that, Priscilla came up. She tapped lightly on Penny’s door. “Lights out, Penny. School comes early.”
The house fell quiet. Abra lay in the darkness. Joshua’s words came back to her, and doubts followed. Did Dylan really love her? He’d never said so in so many words. But could he kiss her like that and not love her?
The clock ticked. Time crept by. She got up and paced, then stopped because someone might hear and come and knock on her door and ask if anything was wrong. She sat on the end of her bed, heart thumping wildly. She should leave a note, at least. She went to her desk and found paper. She turned on the lamp and wrote quickly. The wind came up, the maple tree outside the window rustling and startling her. The wind chimes danced under the patio arbor. The downstairs clock chimed eleven. She took out envelopes. She tucked in a note addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Matthews, another to Reverend Ezekiel Freeman, and a far kinder farewell to Mitzi. She wanted to write to Joshua, too, but didn’t know what to say. Best to leave well enough alone. As an afterthought, she took Marianne’s Bible from the bottom drawer and scribbled a quick note to tuck inside: Marianne would want Joshua’s wife to have this.
Pulling the suitcase out from under the bed, she slowly opened the door and tiptoed down the hallway, heart skipping a beat when the stairs creaked. She hurried to the front door and closed it quietly behind her.
Her side ached by the time she reached the bridge. Dylan was there, leaning against his car. He straightened when he saw her. He tossed her suitcase into the small trunk and slammed it. “I knew you’d come.” He pulled her close and kissed her until she was breathless. “Wouldn’t you love to see their faces in the morning?” His hands spread over her breasts and she felt a moment of panic.
“Still wearing this?” He broke the chain holding Marianne’s cross and tossed it aside. “You don’t need any reminders of the past, do you?” He didn’t give her time to think before he kissed her again. His hands took liberties that shocked her, but she was afraid now to protest. “I’m going to have so much fun with you.” He shifted her so he could open the car door. “Get in.”
She slid down, swinging her legs in before he closed the door.
He came around and got into the driver’s seat. “Tonight, we start living.” He gunned the engine and honked the horn as they crossed the bridge out of Haven. “Just so they all know!” He looked so delighted, she laughed, exultant.
Joshua sat in the kitchen, still shaken by his nightmare. Head in hands, he tried to concentrate on Psalm 23. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
The telephone rang. Adrenaline shot through his body; he felt a premonition and tried to push it away. Just because the telephone rang at four in the morning didn’t mean something had happened to Abra. Dad often got calls in the middle of the night. Joshua scraped the chair back and went into the living room to answer.
“Joshua, it’s Peter. She’s gone.”
He didn’t have to ask who had taken her. “When did they leave?”
“Sometime after we went to bed. Priscilla woke up and thought she heard something. I’ve been out driving around town for the last two hours, but I haven’t seen her.”
Joshua hung up, flipped through the telephone book, and dialed Cole Thurman’s number. The telephone rang ten times before a groggy voice answered with a foul curse.
“Mr. Thurman? Joshua Freeman. Where’s Dylan?” Joshua barely restrained himself from shouting.
“How would I know? I’m his father, not his keeper.”
“Abra Matthews is with him. She’s sixteen.”
“That girl was trash the day your father found her. He should’ve left her under the bridge.”
Joshua slammed the receiver down.
“There’s nothing you can do, Joshua.” Dad stood in the doorway, dressed for his morning walk. His face looked even more pale and worn than it had when Mom died.
“I can’t just do nothing, Dad! I have to go after her!” He grabbed his jacket and keys and headed for the door.
Abra felt warm and velvety enclosed in Dylan’s sports car. He drove fast, radio blaring rock and roll. Her nerves tingled every time he looked at her. When he downshifted, then shifted again, her stomach clenched with excitement. Penny and all her friends had tried to win his attention, but he’d picked her. They’d be together forever. He only had to look at her to make the heat flood her veins.
His hand glided up her thigh. “You look excited.”
Abra felt consumed with need. “I’m still taking it all in.” She looked at him, hoping he would say he loved her.
“Taking what in?”
Dylan had the most beautiful, gleaming smile. She laughed, a little breathless. “Running away with you, of course.” He was so handsome. Picture-perfect.
“I can’t wait to get you into bed.”
Would the earth move, like Penny’s hidden romance novels said? She felt a shiver of fear. She didn’t know anything about sex, other than it was a great mystery.
She studied his profile. “Where will we go to get married?”
“Married!” He gave a short, derisive laugh. “What gave you the idea I was going to marry you?”
His words felt like a slap. “You asked me to come away with you, Dylan. You said you wanted me.”
“Oh, baby. I do. I want you in the worst way.” He caressed her burning cheek with the back of his hand. “More than I’ve wanted anyone in a long time.” He focused his attention on the road ahead. “Who knows? Maybe I will get married someday. Wouldn’t that be something?” He laughed as though the whole idea were impossible. “Hey.” He gave her a sneering smile. “Do you think Reverend Freeman would perform the ceremony?”
“I doubt it.”
He laughed. “I was kidding.”
Maybe it was the way Dylan was driving—taking the curves so fast the tires screeched, jamming the gearshift, accelerating—that made her feel sick to her stomach.
“Well, we’d invite him anyway, wouldn’t we?” Dylan spoke dryly, mockingly. “And that sanctimonious son of his, too. What was his name?”
“Joshua.”
“Yeah. Joshua. Nice Bible name. Maybe I’ll marry you just to see two grown men weep.” He laughed.
For a split second Abra wanted to tell him to turn the car around and take her home. She didn’t want to talk about Pastor Zeke or Joshua. She didn’t want to think about how disappointed they’d be in her. She thought of the notes she’d left. No turning back now.
Dylan looked at her. “You know what I love about you, baby? You went after what you wanted. You didn’t chicken out.”
&n
bsp; She studied the hard, handsome angles of his face, illumined by the dashboard lights. Would she ever find anyone like him again? Someone who made her feel such a wild sense of want and need? “I love you, Dylan.”
Dylan grinned. “I know you do, baby. I knew the minute I saw you, we were made for each other.”
She’d hoped her declaration would encourage Dylan to make a declaration as well. Her stomach trembled, no longer with desire. “Do you love me, Dylan?” She held her breath, waiting for his response. She had turned her back on everyone in Haven to come with him, and now, sacrificed her pride as well.
Dylan gave a careless shrug. “I’m not sure I know what love is, baby.” He gave a curt laugh. “I’m not sure I want to know. From what I’ve seen, love makes a man weak.” He downshifted and took a hard curve, accelerating again. “One thing you’d better learn about me right now—” he gave her a warning glance—“I don’t like being pushed.”
She got the message. If she wanted Dylan to love her, she’d better do whatever it took to keep him happy. She looked out the window, fighting the struggling emotions inside her. She should count herself lucky. Every girl in Haven had wanted him. He had chosen her. And he had chosen her over Penny. That was important, wasn’t it?
Resting her head against the seat, she pushed down the swelling weight of disappointment. This wasn’t what she wanted. This wasn’t what she thought it would be like. Instinct told her not to cry in front of Dylan. He had as much as told her he didn’t like cowards.
Dylan turned up the radio, and Nat King Cole’s “Pretend” filled the car. He sang “That’s Amore” along with Dean Martin. He had a good voice, but not nearly the quality of Pastor Zeke’s or Joshua’s.
Why was she thinking about Pastor Zeke and Joshua again? She told herself to put them out of her mind. She’d seen them for the last time.
“You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden. I can’t stand it when a girl sulks.”
She forced a smile. “I’m just enjoying the ride.”
“Are you, now?” He pressed down harder on the gas pedal, grinning at her and not letting up until the car began to vibrate with the speed. “Feels like it’s going to come apart, doesn’t it?”