back, but I don't care about where Roane's ex's mother died or where she became the thread holder or where the Alpha is from. He's here and so is Davy. What's the next step? Hide her?"
"What? No." I couldn't leave my friends.
Roane watched me throughout the conversation and measured me with his eyes. "You said that you could control your powers, can you? What's going to happen when he meets you?"
I gulped as I felt all of their attention on me. The air was heavy in the room. "I think I can. I know I can. It'll be fine when I meet him. It will, I promise. He won't be able to detect anything in me. I won't let him."
"Really?" Wren scoffed. "Because I can 'detect' it right now. You're not the same. You came back weird and there's something extra in your smell."
I wrinkled my nose up. There was? How did I smell now? "What do you mean?"
"It's not lemons, if that's what you're asking." She rolled her eyes. "You're different. That's all I can say."
"You're stronger." Gavin spoke for her. His eyes were grave now and I was reminded of the first and last time I'd met him. He was dangerous then and seemed more dangerous now.
"I am?"
Gregory shifted in the background and remained quiet.
"You were strong before, but you hid it. There's nothing more for you to hide behind. You are just strong now. There's no weakness in you anymore, none that I can see."
"He's right. They're all right." Roane sighed. "You are different, Davy. It's why I didn't think you were you, but you said you could control your powers. You're going to have to. Or you will have to stay hidden. No one can know who you are. The Alpha really can't know who you are."
"So how are you going to do that?" Wren sat on the edge of Roane's desk.
I looked at her and had no idea how to answer that question.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
"Are you sure about this?" Roane asked when he showed me to a guest bedroom at the Shoilster.
So many vampires had come to town to join him that his home was full and the extra rooms at the Alexander were all taken. Even though the Shoilster and Alexander were a nightclub and restaurant, Roane had rooms built into them and tunnels around them. They were perfect to hide the entire army, but he kept a few rooms for his closest allies. Since my room was right next to his, I knew it meant something. They were attached by a door in the wall.
Was I sure? Yes. Did I want to? No. I sighed and turned back. He looked good, so good, but there was so much distance between us. We'd been excited before and had jumped at each other, but I'd had time to remember something that would guarantee more distance between us. Talia.
So I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"Okay." He glanced at the door. "You know where I'll be if you want to…talk."
Talk. Yes. We needed to do some of that too.
"Davy." He sounded hesitant. "I thought we were fine. Before, in the room…"
"I know, but I have to wrap my head around things." Not to mention that I'd forgotten about the day I'd met Gavin when waves had hit me with the same urgency I'd felt by the fire and from the shadow. The shadow pulled me there. It wanted me to find Tracey's bag. It was the same voice that had assaulted me the day before I'd disappeared.
'Tell Roane of my daughter.'
I wasn't stupid. That shadow was connected to Tracey. It was connected to a child. And it was connected to Roane. Common factor? Talia. I'd forgotten about it amidst everything, but it came back to me. As I glanced at my bag, I knew that Roane smelled Tracey from it. Wren had bolted from the room because of it. Why was Roane ignoring it? What did that mean?
"Things?"
I looked back at him. There was sadness to him. I felt the history from it. Oh yes. He knew that I had connected with Tracey. He was aware her bag was in my possession and he knew I had something else to tell him. Did he know it was about Talia? Did he know it was her child?
Oh hell. Why postpone it?
I dumped the bag out on the bed.
"What are you doing?" Roane jerked behind me. There was panic in his voice.
I started to shift through her things.
"Stop." He caught my hand. "Please stop."
I yanked my hand away and kept looking. Clothes. Weapons. A journal. Little remnants here and there. And then my finger touched something small, thin, and I knew it was a picture. I felt it in my gut. This was what she wanted me to find. Intense pain flooded me, dread formed in my stomach, but I gritted my teeth and lifted the photograph.
It was of Talia holding an infant to her cheeks. She was smiling to the camera. Love exuded from her. The baby's eyes were open a fraction, but it was enough. They had the same eyes. All eyes were blue at birth, but this one had hazel eyes. This one was the same as her mother's. That also told me that this child wasn't an ordinary child. There was magic in her.
"Oh my god," Roane said beside me. He took the picture from me and lifted it for closer inspection.
I couldn't watch. I didn't want to see tears in his eyes or feel whatever he was feeling. I just knew that his love for her would be renewed. I couldn't handle it so I turned away. I felt gutted when I spoke. "She came to me before I disappeared. She wanted me to tell you about her child. And she's the one that took me to that bag. It's Tracey's, but you knew that. Wren knew too."
He didn't respond and I felt an overwhelming sense of longing from him. It was too much so I left. Roane needed time alone. Who was I kidding? I knew I shouldn't have left, but I did. As I wiped a tear away and turned down a hallway, I knew that I was running away because I couldn't bear to see the man I loved remember that he loved someone else.
Talia would always be first. That was the truth and I needed to accept it.
I kept going down hallways. I didn't watch or try to remember which way I was headed, but then I found myself at the door to a deck built on the second floor. Some patio tables were set up beside a small garden with a small waterfall that over granite rocks that had been piled from above the over-hanging roof. As I stepped out and felt the moisture in the air, I breathed in deep. I hadn't smelled water since I'd been gone. The castle had been rock and gardens, but no water. I'd missed it.
"Why are you out here?"
I turned and gulped when I saw Gavin at one of the tables. A lit cigarette was between his fingers and a glass of alcohol sat in front of him. He was in the shadows. A sense of brooding clung to him.
I inched a step closer to him. "I needed to clear my head."
"From what?" He tapped his cigarette on the ashtray.
He looked like he wanted to be alone. That was evident, but I didn't know where else to go. I sat down. "From Roane."
"Because?" His eyes were too knowing.
"I just told him that Talia had a child."
"Oh. Wow. That's not something I saw coming." Gavin glanced at the door.
"Please don't leave. I—" I closed my mouth. What was I going to say? That I didn't want to be alone? This was Roane's best friend. He was the person that should be with him, not with me.
"You didn't want to stick around?"
I snorted. "For what?"
My hands were so clammy and I looked down. I wrung them together. That's when I saw I was trembling at the same time. My whole body was shaking. I knew Gavin saw it all.
"It's not his, if that's what you're worried about."
"Huh?"
"Roane can't reproduce. None of us can except for the Mori or humans. She got with one of them to have a kid. You don't need to worry that Roane will take off to find the child. Guaranteed. And if you're worried that he'll pine over her, it won't happen." His eyes were cold as he watched me. Then he lifted his hand and took a drag off the cigarette. "Want my advice?"
I clasped my eyes shut. I readied myself.
"Go back to him. You're the best friend, not me. Trust me on that." Ice clinked in his glass as he took another sip.
There was a haunted look in his brown eyes, a sadness that resonated deep within me. I didn't want it. It wasn'
t mine to carry and I wanted it gone, but I knew that the pain in him would lessen if I took it into me. After a moment, he lifted his glass. "I can see why my best mate loves you. Not get back there before I do something I'm going to regret."
I grinned. "If I can find my way back."
"You'll be fine, Davy. Trust your gut. It knows where to go."
As I left, something made me pause. Was there something more to his words or—I closed my eyes and told myself to stop. He was right. I knew before I left, but I needed to go back and face Roane no matter the end result. And so, with a deep breath, I smiled goodbye and then tried to trace my way back. It wasn't hard. Every time I took a wrong turn, I opened myself and felt Roane. He was around this corner, then the left in the hallway, and finally after a few more walkways, I found myself at his office.
He sat behind his desk and had turned to watch the club's chaos beneath his feet. The office was dark, but the dance floor's strobe lights flashed through. All sorts of colors illuminated his face.
I didn't know what he was thinking or feeling and I didn't feel into him. He wouldn't like that.
"You came back." His voice was quiet, too quiet.
"Yeah." My own was raspy. "A little birdie told me I should."
A snort escaped him. "I've never heard someone call Gavin a little birdie. Don't think he'd find that complimentary."
"Yeah, well. " And I had no idea what to say. Again.
Roane stood in a fluid motion. His body was tense. "Do you think that I'll never be over her?" As his head lifted up, his eyes caught mine. Piercing. "You think so little of me? That I'll never be able to move past Talia? Is that what you think of me?"
Oh hell. This was not what I expected. "I think that she was a big part of you. I think that…" What did I think? "I think you still love her and that you always will."
"Talia was a part of my life. A big part of my life, but she wasn't my entire life. She wasn't the reason I woke up. I didn't think of ways every morning to protect her, ways to help her live a better life, ways to make sure that she never felt the pain that so many others would in our world. I didn't start a war to protect her. I didn't make myself ache every day because I missed her so much when I knew that she needed to live a normal life. I didn't kill vampires or humans without a second thought for her. I never did those things for Talia."
My eyes couldn't leave his.
Roane started to come to me. "The elders thought I was growing too close to her so they sent me away. I went. I never argued. I never considered it. I didn't fight for her and I was gone for over a year before I felt her death. And when I felt it, Davy, it didn't hurt. She was where she wanted to be. She was at peace. I loved her, but not like I love you. I love you to the point of starting a war for you. I love you to the point where I want you to be in college. I want you to have as normal of a life as you possibly can. Because one day I know that you'll have to leave all of that. You're going to have to stop being a normal human and come by my side to be the Immortal. I know that you don't want that. I know that you want me, but you want to be normal more. And I'm trying to help you. I am, but it's so goddamn hard when you disappear for three months and I can't do one thing to bring you back to me. And then, suddenly, you're here. You've come back to me and I had nothing to do with it. You brought yourself back. You saved yourself. You did it. Not me. It's a hard pill to swallow when I'm able to protect anybody, but I can't protect you, the one person that I would do anything to save. I can't. And then you tell me about Talia's daughter. I'm reminded that it's another thing I can't give you. I can't have a child with you. And I want to. I want so much to do that. I want to have a normal life with you, but I can't. We can't, but you can have parts that are normal. You can still have a child. I didn't think Immortals could, but she did so you can—"
I stopped him and placed a finger over his lips. They were so tender. And then I replaced my finger with my lips.
It felt right to kiss him again.
Roane picked me up and kicked his door shut at the same time. He sat me down on his desk and his mouth opened. He took control and his tongue swept inside. He demanded entrance and I let him. I felt him rub against me, teasing, capturing. I grabbed onto the back of his head and held myself against him. He groaned as he sucked on my bottom lip.
A knock sounded at the door and Roane growled, "Leave!"
They didn't. They knocked again.
"No." I held him tighter.
"Who is it?"
"It's Gregory." We could hear his hesitation. "There's a guest asking for you. She wishes to enter the premises."
"A guest?" Roane pulled away now.
"No," I whimpered. Our time was here. I wasn't going to let someone stop us.
"I'm sorry." He kissed my forehead and stood back. "I should go. Gregory wouldn't interrupt unless it was important."
"But—" My mouth fell open and I watched him walk towards the door. "This is important!"
Roane flashed me a grin. "Don't worry. I'll be coming right back, quicker than you think and you'd better be naked."
I perked up at that thought.
He was gone then, but it wasn't long before he was back. When he came through the door, a pained look was on his face. I had a brief second to ponder why before the guest poked her head around Roane.
"Kates." My mouth hung open. I knew I should've said something more welcoming, but holy moly.
With a squeal and a skip, she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. "Davy! It's so good to see you again."
I patted her back. "You left to find someone? Who was it?"
Not to mention, what was with the happy note? When she left, she'd been morose and depressed. She'd gone to search for someone. Now she was back. With a simple white tee shirt and jeans, her hair gleamed bright blonde instead of the dirty locks she'd had before. She looked nothing like the mischievous bad girl from before.
She laughed and pulled away from me. "I lied to you."
Shock. Not.
Kates added, "I made it sound like I needed to deal with my daddy issues and Blue suggested that I should go and find him. I'm not stupid. I knew that she wanted me out of your life. She can't brainwash you when I'm around."
I narrowed my eyes, frowning as I heard more evidence against my old sponsor.
Kates continued, "You're wondering what I was up to, but the truth is that I went on a mission for your boyfriend." She clasped a hand on Roane's shoulder, or she tried to. He moved away at the last moment and Kates' hand fell back to her side. She laughed. "He wanted me to find Lucan and I did!"
Silence met the last bomb she dropped.
I waited a beat. "You what?"
"I found Lucan."
My eyes shot to Roane. "She what?"
He'd been studying me with narrowed eyes and now he moved forward. "Kates, go with Gregory. He'll take you to a room. You can settle down for the night. I'm sure you're tired."
"Not really. I'm amped up. Mind if I hit the club instead?"
"There are vampires down there."
Kates me an incredulous look. "You know they're my forte."
"No killing and no screwing," Roane warned. "They've pledged their allegiance to me. I don't want any of them upset that a slayer is in their midst."
"You know I can't kill. I've followed the decree." Kates didn't seem to mind that she was being hurried out of the room. Just as she disappeared through the door, she looked back and winked at me. I relaxed as I saw the same Kates from before.
When the door shut, the mood wasn't the same. I wanted to smash his bones now, not jump them. "You sent her to find your brother?"
"I did."
"And when were you going to tell me this?"
"I wasn't." He didn't seem guilt-ridden by that answer.
I wanted to hurt him. Bad. "What else should you tell me? Anything else that you had my best friend do for you?"
He hesitated, but then answered emotionless, "Blue. I knew your sponsor wasn't being honest with you and I
knew she was only trying to get close to Kates to try and control you. I told Kates about Blue, that she's working for Jacith and was sent by him. Her job was to report back to him when you became the Immortal. Kates was