Owen and the football players try to run interference, but they have their work cut out for them.
I’m worried about Grace.
I leave the mill through the same door we came in, but I can’t see anything. I forgot how dark it is outside. I take one of the lanterns near the door and look around. There’s nothing else out here except grain silos. She probably went back to the car.
“Grace? Are you out here?” I hold up the lantern and turn around slowly, hoping to see her.
The wind rustles the leaves on the ground, and a branch snaps behind me. I whirl around, the lantern swinging back and forth in my hand. “Grace?”
The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
Someone is out here.
You’re imagining things. Stop being paranoid.
I take a deep breath and turn back to the parking lot, holding the lantern out in front of me.
Another branch snaps.
A figure moves between the trees, not far from where I’m standing.
I tighten my grip on the lantern, and the light shakes in front of me.
“Grace?” I try again. Suddenly, I feel stupid. It’s probably April and Madison trying to scare me. “Whoever is out there, stop screwing around. You’re pissing me off.”
I scan the darkness, but nothing moves.
Maybe April sent Dylan out here? I don’t think he’s smart enough to find his way around in the dark.
There’s another blur of movement in the shadows, and I jump. Am I close to the parking lot? I’m not sure.
But I know someone is watching me.
CHAPTER 33
Quicksand
THE SOUND OF leaves crunching starts again in a rhythmic pattern, like footsteps.
“Peyton, are you out here?” Owen calls from the darkness.
I’m so relieved to hear his voice that I can barely speak. “Yes.”
Owen touches my shoulder, and I flinch. He ducks his head so he can look at my face. “You don’t seem okay. What are you doing out here, anyway?”
I take a deep breath and fight off the panic. “I came out here to look for Grace. I thought she might have gone back to the car. But it’s so dark that I got turned around, and I couldn’t figure out where we parked.”
I’m not sure if I want to tell Owen the rest. “Before you came out, I thought I heard someone following me. That’s why I freaked a little.”
Owen slides his arm around my shoulders protectively. “Did you see who it was?” There’s an edge in his voice.
“No. It was probably just April trying to scare me.”
Owen rubs the top of my shoulder. “April was inside. She was still there when I came out to look for you.”
“Maybe it was Madison. Or Dylan. He’d do anything April says.”
“They were both inside, too.” Owen’s expression hardens. “It could’ve been someone from East Valley. The football teams are rivals. Not as bad as Spring Hill, but it could’ve been one of the players trying to start shit.”
My stomach feels queasy. I don’t like the idea of anyone following me, for any reason.
The sound of another branch snapping startles me. More leaves crunch—louder this time.
Owen whips around and steps in front of me. But when the figure comes into view, I immediately recognize his gait.
“Hey. Have you guys seen Grace?” Christian asks.
I step out from behind Owen. “No. I was looking for her. I think she might have gone back to the car.”
Christian trudges past us. “I’m gonna go find her. I guess I messed up again.”
Owen takes my hand as if it’s something he does all the time. “Come on. Let’s go back inside.”
“No thanks. I’m not interested in watching you and Cameron take stupid risks.”
Owen seems confused. “You mean the game? It’s no big deal. We play all the time.”
I slip my hand out of his and wrap my arms around myself. “Did it ever occur to you that you could get killed? If that part of the building caves in…”
I can’t say it.
“That’s not gonna happen. The building has been like this for years.”
“Now you’re a structural engineer?” I ask, frustrated. “That part of the building is condemned for a reason. If it’s unstable, the roof could cave in. Someone could get trapped down there, or worse.”
An image flashes through my mind—a dirt ceiling crumbling over my dad’s head—and I shudder.
Owen notices and starts to take off his jacket. “Are you cold? You can have my coat.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“I didn’t realize the game bothered you so much. I won’t play. I’d rather hang out with you anyway. Come on. I want to show you something cool.”
“What?”
“You’re not good at surprises.”
I pout. “Fine.”
Owen leads me around the side of the building to a crumbling concrete staircase that leads down to a padlocked metal door.
“I’m not going in the basement. Did you miss the whole conversation we just had?”
He walks down two steps, our joined hands stretched out between us. “All the damage was on the north side of the building.”
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred and ten percent. A bunch of newspaper articles came out about it. They had inspectors here and everything.” He shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “Want me to look it up?”
“No. I trust you,” I say without thinking about it. “I mean … I believe you. But what’s worth seeing down here?” I’m imagining a dark basement full of more rusty machinery. “There are probably rats.”
“I’ll protect you from the vermin.” Owen grins. “I protected you from the bears, didn’t I?”
“Fine.” I follow him down the steps. “But if I see a rat, I’m gone.”
“Deal.” He reaches the second-to-last step and jumps down.
I notice the padlock again. I sigh dramatically. “Oh well, I guess we can’t go in.”
“I just need a minute.”
Owen hunts around near the door and holds up something.
“Is that a rock?”
“That’s what the millionaire who invented these wants you to think.” He slides a panel off the bottom of the rock.
It’s a Hide-A-Key. We had one for our garage when I was a kid.
Owen holds up the key. “Behold.”
He unlocks the padlock and takes it off the door. “You know I did that to impress you, right?” His tone is playful, but there’s also something serious about the way he says it.
“I’m impressed you found the plastic rock.”
He grins and pushes his shoulder against the heavy metal door. It opens slowly and makes an awful scraping sound. “I can’t wait for you to see this. Nobody knows about it but me.”
Owen keeps talking, but I’m not listening anymore.
On the other side of the door, a tunnel stretches out in front of us.
Metal walls rise up from the cracked concrete floor. The ceiling is standard elevator height, and the tunnel is wide enough for three people to walk side by side.
Owen steps inside and turns back to look at me. The moment he sees my face, he realizes something is wrong.
“I can’t go in there.” I’m shaking my head back and forth, over and over, and I can’t stop.
He rushes back to me and cups my cheek with his hand. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re going to pass out.” He touches my forehead as if he’s checking for a fever.
“I can’t go in there,” I repeat. It’s only the second time I’ve said it out loud, but the words keep repeating over and over in my head.
Owen looks back at the tunnel. “Are you claustrophobic? It’s okay. It’s not that far. And I’m gonna be with you the whole time.”
I can’t find the words to explain what’s wrong.
He takes my hand. “Maybe if you close your eyes, I can walk you through.??
?
I don’t know if that actually works for people with claustrophobia, since I’m not one of them. I don’t know if they can feel how close the walls and the ceiling are, even with their eyes closed. I feel it all. And I’m not even in the tunnel yet.
“If you don’t want to try, it’s okay.” Owen touches the side of my face.
I don’t want to feel this way every time I walk up to a football stadium with the wrong type of entrance or an underwater exhibit at an aquarium. I don’t want to see rocks and earth raining down on my father, crushing him, wondering how long he stayed alive.
Did he suffocate? Or try to dig his way out?
How long did he survive under there?
I’m sick of feeling like a hostage in my own body. “I want to try.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod.
Owen takes my hands and he backs into the tunnel one step at a time. The toes of my boots touch the strip of metal that runs across the threshold, and I can’t go any farther. My feet feel like they’re trapped in quicksand and it’s swallowing me inch by inch.
Earth and rocks raining down on me.
“You can do this. I know you can.” Owen tugs my fingers gently, but my feet still won’t move.
The quicksand rises another inch, and my heart thrashes in my chest.
Owen offers me an encouraging smile.
I wish there was a way to let him inside my head so he would understand why this is so hard for me without me having to tell the story. I never talked about it with Reed. Tess and my mom are the only ones.
But I want to tell Owen.
“I—” My voice wavers. “I’m not claustrophobic. My dad died in a tunnel. His team was under a hotel in Iraq. There was an explosion, and the tunnel—” My voice cracks. “It caved in.”
Owen immediately pulls me against his chest and hugs me. “I’m so sorry.”
Tears burn my eyes, and I bury my face in his jacket. I choke back my tears, but I can’t swallow them all. “I don’t know the details, but none of them made it out.”
He kisses the top of my head. “It must be hard not knowing.”
“I don’t want to know. My mom and my uncle have been trying to tell me since the day it happened. But I can’t handle it. I already have nightmares.”
Owen hugs me tighter. “Maybe what you’re imagining is worse than what really happened?”
“Or my version isn’t nearly as horrible.” I hesitate. “I hate talking about it. My best friend, Tess, is the only person I’ve ever told.”
“What made you tell me?”
I pull away. “I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure, or you’re scared to admit the reason?” Owen puts his finger under my chin and gently turns my face toward him. He dips his head and kisses me softly. “Why is it so hard to admit you have feelings for me?”
“Because…” I try to turn away, but there’s nowhere to go. I rake my fingers through my hair and flip it to the side in an unsuccessful attempt to hide my face.
“Are you going to finish that sentence?” He isn’t letting this go.
I’m raw from talking about Dad and I can’t find a way out of this conversation.
“Because if I admit that I have feelings for you then I’ll have to do something about them!” I blurt out. “There. I said it. Are you happy now?”
He’s smiling. “On a scale of one to ten, I’m at about an eight.”
“Stop.”
“I can’t.” Owen’s expression turns serious. “If I stop, I’ll never find out why you won’t give us a chance. What are you so afraid of, Peyton?”
“You don’t understand. I can’t afford to make any more mistakes. I’ve already made too many.”
“So this thing between us is a mistake?” His eyes search mine. “Because the way I feel when I’m with you feels like the opposite of every mistake I’ve ever made.”
I don’t want to admit the truth, not even to myself. But I find the courage to say it.
“Me too.”
CHAPTER 34
Battle Scars
OWEN THREADS HIS fingers through mine, and we circle around to the front of the mill. After trying, and failing, to conquer my tunnel phobia and telling Owen about the way my father died, my emotions are fried. I’m ready to get into bed, crawl under the covers, and call it a night.
But not until I find Grace.
As we clear the tangled overgrowth snaking up the corner of the building, I see a pale circle of lantern light in the darkness.
I squeeze Owen’s hand. “There’s someone near the entrance.”
What if it’s the person who was following me?
“One of the football players probably came outside to puke.”
“Owen?” Tucker calls out.
“Or it’s Tucker,” Owen says.
“Is that you, man?” Tucker asks he walks toward us.
“Yeah. What are you doing out here alone?” Owen asks.
“I’m not alone.” Tucker’s lantern light bounces in the darkness. As he gets closer, I make out the silhouette of someone walking beside him—a girl.
The girl steps into the light. It’s the pretty cheerleader Tucker has a crush on. What’s her name? Nicole? Noelle?
Tucker stands next to her, grinning like the happiest guy on earth. “This is Owen and his”—he catches himself—“our friend Peyton.”
It sounded as if he was about to introduce me as Owen’s girlfriend. I’m sort of disappointed that he didn’t.
“I’m Natalie,” the girl says brightly. She’s wearing Tucker’s quilted zip-up jacket, and it’s big on her. She looks at me. “You’re Grace’s friend, right?”
“Yeah. It’s nice to meet you.”
“I thought you were going to hang out with Christian or Cameron until we came back,” Owen says.
“We were, but they’re sorta busy,” Tucker says. “That’s why we were looking for you two.”
“Busy doing what?” I’m not sure I want to know.
“Your cousins went looking for Grace. She was sitting in Cameron’s truck and when she saw the Twins, she locked the doors. Your cousins were trying to get her to roll down the window and talk to them, but she wouldn’t.”
“That’s when they started fighting,” Natalie adds.
“Who? Grace and the Twins?” I ask.
“Just the Twins,” Tucker explains. “They were still going at it when I took off to find you.”
We follow Tucker to the parking lot.
I hear the Twins before I see them. Christian and Cameron are rolling around in the dirt and punching each other like overgrown kids.
“You’re both acting like total jerks,” Grace yells from Cam’s truck.
“Stay here,” Owen grumbles.
Tucker raises his hands and steps back. “No argument from me.”
“Be careful,” I say.
“Drinking messes with your coordination, and your cousins drank way too much.” Owen trudges over to the Twins. He grabs Cam by the back of his jacket and hauls him off Christian.
Cam staggers and looks around, disoriented. He sees Owen, but the way Cam is squinting, I’m not sure he recognizes him. “What the f—”
“Don’t be stupid,” Owen tells Cam as he drags Christian to his feet. “I don’t want to mess up that pretty face of yours, Cameron.”
“Owen?” Cam brushes the dirt off his clothes. His forearm is scraped and bloody, but otherwise he looks fine. “Where did you come from?”
“The land of Not Completely Drunk and Stupid,” Grace shouts from the pickup.
“Grace…” Cam wanders toward the truck, but Owen stops him.
“I’d let her cool off for a while.”
I climb into the truck with Grace, who looks angry enough to kill the Twins. “Are you okay?”
“No.” Grace crosses her arms.
The Twins start arguing, and Owen shoves them in opposite directions to keep them separated.
I lean across the seat
and yell out the driver’s-side window. “You’re both acting ridiculous.”
“I’m sorry, Grace,” Christian says.
Grace looks over at me. “Why don’t I believe him?”
* * *
Grace and I ended up driving Cam’s pickup back to Hawk’s. The Twins were staying at Titan’s, and Cameron didn’t want to leave his truck at the mill overnight. Grace didn’t seem like she was in the mood to do Cam a favor, but I think she wanted to come hang out and talk.
Hawk stocked the kitchen with some of my favorite foods—powdered doughnuts, Lucky Charms cereal, and chocolate milk. We took the cereal and doughnuts up to my room, and now I’m watching Grace pick the marshmallows out of the box.
Dutch is watching, too. Every once in a while she tosses him some of the crunchy cereal, which she has stripped of marshmallows.
“I meant to tell you earlier, but you were amazing during the cheer routines tonight. I don’t know how you let those girls throw you into the air like that.”
“I’m used to it.” She tosses Dutch some cereal, and he springs to his feet. I’ve never seen that dog move so fast. “I’ve been in cheer since I was young. Fliers have to be small and I was always the smallest kid in my class, so it was sort of a given.” She pops a handful of marshmallows into her mouth. “After what I said to April tonight, I won’t have to worry about cheerleading.”
“April won’t let you quit if it means risking the squad’s chances at the state finals. And even if she didn’t care about losing, your coach will.”
“You think so?” Grace sounds hopeful. I remember her saying she needs a cheerleading scholarship.
“Just wait until your coach hears that the squad doesn’t have a flier. I bet she calls you in to her office and asks you to come back before the end of the day on Monday.”
Grace smiles. “It’s nice to have a real friend looking out for me.”
I break a doughnut in half and pop a piece into my mouth. “Maybe you want to tell your real friend what’s going on between you and Christian?”
“Nothing, I guess. One minute it seems like he might actually like me, and then the next minute he’s flirting with other girls right in front of me. This isn’t new. It’s been going on for years. And I know what you’re thinking. If he liked me, he would’ve said something by now.”