Ch. 19
A few hours later the doorbell rang while James and I were sitting on the couch. I was wrapped in my favorite blanket and drinking a cup of tea. Fortunately, I wasn’t holding the teacup when the bell rang, I startled so badly I would have been wearing it.
Henry came out of an upstairs room and announced. “It’s Stephen. He’s here to get your key, Claire.”
Alarmed, I swiveled my head from one to the other. Stephen walked in as I asked him. “Why do you need my key?” Only my eyes were visible over the back of the couch but he could hear the warning in my voice.
It was James who answered for him. “You’re staying here for a while. I cannot protect you while you stay in the dorms. Stephen will need your key so that he can get your things.”
Indignant, I tried to stand up and ended up flailing to escape the blanket tangled impossibly around my arms and under his leg. Giving up, I settled for a stern frown from my spot on the couch. “There is no way Stephen is digging through my underwear drawer to pack my bag. No offense Stephen but you don’t know what I need of my books and toiletries. This has been bad enough without people going through my things.”
Stephen had come around the couch and got a look at my face. It must have been bad. I could feel the swelling and had been avoiding mirrors so far. His features steeled before he could recover his easygoing mask. I had my first inkling that there was something more behind Stephen’s nonchalant attitude, something I’d been hoping would eventually have peeked out in time. “I am so sorry, Claire. Would you like me to beat her up?”
“As a matter of fact, I would like that very much, Stephen.” My laugh was cut short by a grimace. It hurt to smile.
James put his arm around my back again and lowered his voice. “I can’t let you leave here. You’re lucky to be alive and we don’t know where these people are, nor do we know when in the next few days the newcomers are crossing into our territory. We have only days now instead of weeks and you aren’t safe from any of them now that they know you are special to me.”
I wanted to stop at his mention of my being special but there were more pressing matters if I hoped to retain some small portion of my dignity and independence. “Henry, Bradley said you have watchdogs keeping an eye out for the new group so we know they haven’t come across the borders yet. Don’t I have another hour before I have to go under lock and key? Stephen, you could go with me just long enough to pack my own things and come back, couldn’t you?” I tried to reason with James. “I promise I have no problem staying here but I need to go and explain to the staff that I will be staying with a friend for a while. It wouldn’t be hard to believe I was mugged and am scared to be alone.” I pointed to my face. “After I pack I’ll come right back.”
James considered my request for a moment and looked to Henry and Stephen. “Why don’t you two talk to the sentries at the southern border and find out if there’s been any movement? It would take them at least a few hours to make it from there. I can check with some of my contacts in Milwaukee to see if we can get a handle on what time they left while I go with Claire to get her things. We will meet back here later tonight.” He turned to me. “If you’re leaving here, it’s going to be with me.”
Under the circumstances, I didn’t let my independent female spirit be wounded. No one made me feel safer than James. It would be fantastic if he would never leave me alone again.
Stephen and Henry both agreed to the plan and James helped untangle me so I could get up. Henry, holding up a finger to wait, disappeared from the room and returned in a few seconds holding a glass of water and something in his hand.
I looked at him questioningly and he opened his hand revealing some large white pills. “Now that we have all thought this through, I think it is safe for you to take these. They’ll kick in about forty minutes from now when James has you safely back here and tucked in to bed. By then, you will be grateful for the relief.” Normally, I didn’t like taking medications, though I saw a huge benefit to dulling the pain in my jaw and head. Downing the pills, I watched James put on his sunglasses, making ready to drive me back to campus.
His features were tight around his shades as he silently helped me into my coat and out the door. He never took his arm off of me except to walk around the car and get in, scanning our surroundings the whole time. During the drive to school, the air in the car between us was uncomfortable like that first night again. Things were going so fast now. It had been just two nights ago, James and I had gone beyond teacher and student and now, for all intents and purposes, I was moving in with him under the guise of protection.
“You know this isn’t your fault James. I could stay with the Andrews, too.” Staring straight ahead was easier for me than eye contact. I felt him grow still. “You don’t have to take me on while this is all getting sorted out. If this is… whatever it is, then I can’t go and move in with you. I don’t want either of us to feel pressured or anything because things have gotten, um, complicated.” I would never forgive myself if I lost a chance to have something with him because he felt rushed or crowded or whatever and took me in out of a sense of obligation.
Without warning the car whipped across two lanes of traffic, onto the shoulder and skidded to a stop on the side of the freeway. Scared to death I’d committed some awful offense I stared over at James’ profile. Cars went screaming by us at 70 miles per hour while he stared straight ahead through the windshield. His face was frightening in his anger, his total stillness promised violence.
“Claire I want you to be perfectly clear about something. I am very old, though I am not too old-fashioned to be practical. You will stay with me where I can protect you because I love you. I will not lose you again.” He tilted his head curiously. “Are you unwilling to stay with me?” Even with the anonymity of sunglasses, I could feel his eyes burning into mine. “If it makes you uncomfortable, we can have Stephen come to the house as well to make you feel more at ease.”
My brain was swimming. Maybe the pain meds were kicking in or it was my concussion. “What did you say?”
He aimed his gaze forward again, grinding his jaw in frustration. He growled low. “I said you could have your cat come over if you don’t want to be alone with me.”
Shaking my head, I stuttered. “No, before that. You…you love me?”
Lowering his sunglasses, he turned his dark eyes back to me. “I said that I love you and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
Slowly, his words sunk into my concussed brain, I felt dizzy. “James, I love you too.” I was breathless as I reached over, wrapping my good arm around his neck. I kissed him gingerly feeling better than I had in a long time, injured or not. That tugging sensation inside me gave me a funny little tweak. I took it as a good sign.