Ch. 29
I rolled over next to him in bed and smiled lazily. “Care to try the second dress? The one for them.” It was hard to hide my trepidation over the whole thing.
Propped up on an elbow, my hero didn’t fail me. “If the Court doesn’t approve then we will simply run away together. They cannot destroy what they cannot find.” He said it without the faintest hint of jest and I wondered if he was serious, if we could do that.
“James, can I try something?”
He lay perfectly still and looked into my face, studying it with a mild expression. “Feel free.”
Putting my hand out, I laid it very gently on his bicep. It was hard to concentrate when all I wanted to do was to run my hands over his body. My addiction to him was powerful and it took all of my focus to bring my thoughts back to my experiment. Re-focusing myself, I stilled my hand and lowered my shields carefully. I could feel that he had lowered his enough for me to try this. Despite his apparent lack of curiosity I knew that he was very aware of everything I was doing and was following my lead.
Like we’d done in our first sessions together my mind reached down only this time I was more specific in what I was looking for. I knew it as soon as he figured out what I was doing and I felt my access closing off. Flicking my eyes up to his I pleaded gently, “please.”
Outwardly he said nothing. Inside I felt the barriers evaporate. I gasped and jerked my hand off of his arm. Seeing James’ normally confident face vulnerable moved me almost as much as what I had felt. He had let me feel his love for me. It was overwhelming. Not like it used to be when I touched people without shielding. It was astonishing in its strength and certainty. It wasn’t fleeting like all of his other emotions; this one had been stronger and more established. His love for me did not feel vampire, it felt human.
“You love me.”
The uncertainty still wavered in his gaze. “I told you that I did.”
“But, you really love me. Like I love you.”
He wrapped me in his arms then and let me see it again. Lying there with him, I was overcome and felt the tears roll down my face and splash his cooling chest. His fingers lifted my chin up to look at him and I was ashamed of myself. “Look what you’ve done to me James. I don’t cry and here you are making me cry all the time. I’ve lost track of how often I’ve gone gooey this week.”
Kissing my tears he answered tenderly. “I won’t tell.”
“James,” not trusting my voice enough to answer louder than a whisper, “I’ve lived my whole life pretending it was okay that I was never going to have anyone. Even when Stephen got me started the best I hoped for was a little more peace and quiet. My life was going to be so simple. Now you’ve ruined all of that for me. I feel as though if you went away it would tear me apart.” Hating the raw need I could hear in my voice, I continued, my words spilling forth unchecked. “Promise me you will stay with me.”
“Forever, Love.” His eyes were nearly midnight.
“But what if things change for you? What if I’m not approved? You can’t really leave your life behind, even for an oath.” I didn’t want to think of him ruining his life for me if things changed. Even I knew love couldn’t last forever for a human and a vampire. Not his forever.
He cut me off abruptly. “You are a stubborn woman Claire. I love you for you. Not because of my oath. However, that does require me to stay very close by at all times.” He nuzzled my neck giving me goose bumps. “I hope you don’t mind?” My doubts could not outweigh my need to be close and I let him change the subject.
“Didn’t you have another dress to show me? Something that will impress the hell out of the Court?”
Sighing, I sat up. “Are you making me leave this bed?”
He pulled me back down with an impish grin. “I will never make you leave this bed. We can have someone send food up a few times a day and stay here forever. But I do like the fashion show. It is very flattering knowing this is all for me.”
Confidence inspired by his declaration made me reckless. “James, this,” I waved my arm over my nude body and his eyes followed, “is all for you. The dresses are for our respective families. But it does help that you like them.”
“The Court is not my family.” He grew somber. “However it is necessary to gain their approval for our long term courtship or they will not leave us in peace.”
“Then don’t let it be said I was rejected for poor fashion.” I declared with false bravado. Rising from bed I did my best to saunter over to the dress bag hanging over the back of the closet door. The show was back on for my audience of one and this time I put a little more swing in my hips.
I heard him growl and smiled as I grabbed a bra to put on. The dress wouldn’t look right without it. This one I could get on by myself and I did so with my back to him, a gutsy move by me. It felt good that I heard his breath stop as I turned around to face him.
Tonya had won. We went exotic. She said that it set off my dark features and prominent bone structure. My cheekbones had always bothered me. I thought they stuck out but Tara and Tonya had decided that they were elegant and should be shown off. The dress itself was a black classic Chinese style that ended mid thigh. The neck had a higher collar with gold knotted buttons in a diagonal line down to the bust. From there the buttons were internal and not visible leading to an uninterrupted line in the design, allowing it to hug my body in ways that left little to the imagination.
“I’ll have my hair up, maybe in chopsticks. You know, keeping the theme,” I said holding my hair up for effect. He was staring at me, body propped on an elbow. It was bugging me that he still hadn’t said what he thought of it. I was beginning to feel my nerve waver. “Well, do you like it? Do you think they’ll like it?” Holding up a finger I made a short dash for the pile of bags. “Oh yeah, the shoes.” Digging them out, I put on the high satin heels and did a small spin with my arms out. “Well?” It was killing me he wasn’t talking. This was nerve wracking. What I was wearing, where we were going. I needed some reassurances that we were going to be okay. That I was going to live to see Christmas. “Come on James, I’m dying here. Opinions?”
Standing up completely nude, he walked over. It was my turn to sigh. I was sure he could hear my heart thumping with both fear and excitement. He was always in tune to my reactions. It made me self-conscious that everyone in this house had super senses and knew when I was feeling anything of any importance.
“This has me worried.” His eyes were dark, hooded beneath his lowered lids.
My stomach knotted. “What? Do you think I should return it?”
He grabbed me and folded me into his arms. “No, I am worried someone will want you for his own and I will have to defend my claim. It could get ugly.”
It didn’t matter whether he was just saying that to make me feel better, I liked hearing him say it.