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No Seb, no other people. Just the two of them in each other’s arms, being truly together in the way they both longed for.
I nudged gently at my pale-blue aura, watching it shimmer and change to a vibrant rose. It wavered before me for a few minutes, the colour of sunrise. Okay, how about green now; green would be nice. . . and though I’d thought I was totally immersed in my aura, somehow my thoughts drifted then to the Council attack. Alex. How important it was that I got this. And the playful mood was gone, slipped away like mist in the wind.
I opened my eyes and stared at my silver aura. The house was silent around us.
“Willow, stop – you’re doing so well,” said Seb, responding to the silent berating that was going on in my head.
He had on the same long-sleeved grey T-shirt he’d worn when I first met him, with the sleeves pushed up slightly. The hair on his tanned arms was lighter than on his head; almost golden – from years spent on the road in the sun, maybe. Pushing the thought away, I slumped back against the sofa. “It doesn’t feel like it. ”
Seb shrugged. “You must keep your aura separate from everything now, that’s all. Like, you can walk and talk at the same time, yes? You don’t think about walking. It’s like that. ”
He was always so patient – he’d told me all this about a hundred times now. But as he stretched across to rustle another cookie out of the bag, I could sense again the conflict that had been with him since almost that first day: he wanted me to be safe around the angels, yet as far from the Torre Mayor as possible when the team attacked.
I sighed. I hadn’t really meant to discuss this with him, but I heard the words come out anyway. “Seb, I’ve got to be there when it happens. For so many reasons. I can’t just sit here at home. ”
His eyes met mine. He didn’t ask what I was talking about. “If you learn how to hide your aura in time, then I’ll be there too,” he said.
I bit my lip. I hated the idea of anything happening to Seb, almost as much as I did anything happening to Alex. “You’re part of the team now, though,” I said. “Wouldn’t you go anyway? Whether I did or not?”
“No. ” Seb looked down, turned the cookie over in his hands and then rested it on the table uneaten. “When the attack happens, I’ll be wherever you are – doing whatever I can to protect you. ” He gave a small smile. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else. ”
On the one hand, I was touched – enormously. On the other, I felt a little irritated that he seemed so convinced I couldn’t take care of myself. “Seb—”
“Querida, no, that’s not it,” said Seb before I could say anything else. “You know I don’t think that; you can take care of yourself very well. But if there’s an attack and the team fails, the angels will find out everything. I won’t leave you on your own in that kind of danger. ” He shrugged again; his eyes held a gleam of humour suddenly. “You can try to make me if you like. You won’t have much luck, I don’t think. ”
My chest tightened – what I felt was far too deep to put into words. Thankfully, with Seb I didn’t have to try. I let out a long breath.
“You’re still calling me querida,” I pointed out finally. “Brothers don’t do this. ”
“Sorry. I’m very forgetful sometimes. ” He picked up the cookie and took a bite; stretching back against the sofa, he rested one long leg out in front of him.
I smiled; if there’s an opposite of sorry, that’s how he looked. “Seb. . . you know I appreciate everything you’ve just said. God – so much. But when we attack the Twelve, I have to be there with Alex. I have to be. I’ve got to learn this. ”
Seb’s eyebrows drew together in thought as he finished eating; I could sense him putting aside his own feelings. “You will – I’m just not sure how else I can explain it to you,” he said. Brushing his hands off, he sat up and held them out to me. “Here, see again what it’s like for me. ”
I wasn’t sure what good it would do – we’d tried this so many times. I moved beside him on the sofa anyway; putting my hands in his, I closed my eyes. The half-angel energy felt completely familiar now, wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. And the sensation as Seb changed his aura was like second nature to me too by then. . . but this time, as I drifted into the lights of my own aura, I realized I could feel something different.
In a daze, it came to me: Seb and I had been growing closer every day, so that now I was able to sense what he was doing on every possible level, almost as if I was him – and it let me grasp a detail I hadn’t managed to catch before. He’d told me this over and over, but for the first time I was experiencing it for myself – the way he kept his aura locked safely away, where it couldn’t be disturbed. I could feel how protected that part of his mind was, how cradled away from everything. He’d almost built a sort of barrier around it, though I knew he wasn’t even aware of it; he must have done it instinctively as a child.
Mirroring him just as I’d done over two weeks ago, when we’d only barely started, I carefully constructed the same mental shield. Immediately, I felt a calm come over me – as if on a deep level I knew, really knew, that whatever I did with my aura now was totally secure.
Blue, I thought, and felt it shift.
I could tell Seb had sensed what had happened, and why. His hands tightened in mine. “Look,” he said in a whisper.
I opened my eyes. My aura was a clear sky-blue, with lavender hues. I swallowed, half-expecting it to crash back to silver. Deliberately, I thought of the Council attack; of how much I needed to be there; of every distracting, worrying thought I could throw at myself.
My aura stayed blue.
I reached out in wonder, and watched the blue lights gleaming on my fingers. Exhilaration rushed through me.
“Seb, I’ve got it! I’ve really got it!” I lunged forward, hugging him. He returned my hug with a laugh; I could sense his deep relief that I had it now, despite his reservations.
I sank back onto the sofa, staring at my still-blue aura. I experimented with changing it to a dull, stunted grey. The colours dimmed and shrank. It looked like used dishwater clinging to me. I hated it. So would an angel.
I’m not sure how long went by as I sat playing with my aura, shifting its colours with my thoughts. Seb watched in silence. Finally we glanced at each other, and my excitement faded. The closeness between us that had let me finally learn this suddenly seemed like a double-edged sword – because when the team attacked the Council, Seb would be there too now, risking his life. Alex and I didn’t have a choice, but Seb did. I wanted him to be safe, just as much as he wanted the same thing for me.
He shook his head, responding to my unspoken thought. “Madre mía, Willow,” he said softly. “Do you really think I’d go somewhere and be safe while you’re taking part in that?”
My chest felt tight. “Seb. . . you could die. And it would be for a cause that isn’t even yours, really. ”
Almost the moment I said the words, I got a flash of a small girl with big eyes – the same girl I’d seen once before. Run, niña! With a frightened gasp, she took to her heels, darting away through a whirling, dancing crowd.