Diamond felt tears spring to her eyes and quickly blinked them away. Adam’s words uncovered a truth that she had been denying. But this time, she wasn’t reminded of her terrible loss. Instead, she realized what a wonderful gift her father had left her.
His daughters.
Her sisters.
Because of them, she would never have to be alone again.
Chapter Seventeen
“It’s time I got back to town,” the marshal announced. “I left Arlo in charge, and knowing him, he’ll be asleep at my desk by now.” He turned to the banker. “You ready, Chester?”
“In a minute.” Chet crossed to where Diamond stood beside Adam. “My dear, I must insist that you allow me to take your father’s ledgers with me. I could bring them up-to-date by tomorrow, and have the wranglers’ payroll ready the day after that. It would certainly save everyone a lot of trouble. And Cal has mentioned that your men are getting restless for their pay.”
Diamond brushed a kiss across his cheek. “That’s true. And it’s very sweet of you to offer, Uncle Chet. But the answer is still no.”
She tucked her arm through his and walked with him to the door. “I’m so glad you came to my dinner. And you, too, Quent.”
The marshal grinned and squeezed her hand before taking his leave, with Chester Pierce following.
“I will say good-night, as well,” Carmelita called. “Rosario is here with the wagon.”
“Thank you.” Diamond gave her a wide smile. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I can’t remember when I’ve had a better meal,” Adam added. “Thank you, Carmelita.”
The housekeeper’s face was wreathed with smiles as she walked from the room.
“I’d better turn in, too,” Cal announced. “I have to be on the south range by sunup.”
“Would you mind if we walked with you to the bunkhouse?” Ruby followed him to the door.
“Whatever for?” Pearl asked.
Ruby shot her a warning look, then nodded toward Diamond and Adam, who stood apart, looking extremely uncomfortable.
“Oh, yes. Of course. A walk in the fresh air sounds like the perfect ending to this lovely evening.” Pearl turned to Jade. “Let’s get our shawls.”
Within minutes Cal had taken his leave, surrounded by Pearl, Jade and Ruby.
“Well. It looks like we’re alone.” Adam couldn’t help grinning at the less-than-subtle way the three young women had taken their leave. “Did you plan this ahead of time?”
Diamond blushed clear to her toes. “The others made the plans. I just... went along.”
“So. What’s the plan now?”
She stared at the floor. “I’m supposed to smile at you. Seductively.”
“Ah.”
He seemed to have spoken volumes in that single word. Diamond swallowed and turned away, idly tracing a finger around the rim of a vase.
“This could be dangerous.” Adam’s voice was closer now, and she knew, without looking, that he’d closed the distance between them and was standing directly behind her.
“Dangerous?” She lifted her head. “Why?”
He ran a finger lightly across her bare shoulder, feeling her flinch at his touch. “This is why. Even without the seductive smiles, the minute we’re alone, I want to touch you.” He closed his hands over her upper arms and drew her back against him. He bent his head and brushed butterfly kisses to her neck, sending spasms of pleasure curling along her spine.
His fingers tightened. “But I don’t think I can be trusted to be alone with you, Diamond. The minute I touch you, I want more.”
He slid his hands down her arms, then gathered her to him until his hands rested just beneath the fullness of her breasts.
“Oh, Diamond,” he breathed against her ear. “What am I going to do about you?”
Pressed to the length of him, she was aware of his arousal. She could hear the torment in his voice, could feel the struggle he exerted to remain in control.
He ran soft wet kisses across her shoulder, then pressed his mouth to the sensitive hollow of her throat.
She sighed and moved in his arms, arching her neck to give him better access.
He continued raining kisses while his hands began a lazy exploration of her breasts until his thumbs found her nipples, stroking until they hardened.
“Dear God, Diamond.” He turned her to face him and dragged her against him. His lips found hers and he savaged her mouth with kisses until they were both gasping.
His tongue tangled with hers and he drank in the sweet, clean taste of her. Then his lips closed over hers once more and he took the kiss deeper.
“Woman,” he muttered against her mouth, “you’ve completely bewitched me. I can’t think. And I can’t stop. Ever since you walked into this room, I’ve been looking at an angel. A beautiful, beguiling angel.” His eyes darkened as he allowed his gaze to move over her. His voice was a growl of desire as he dragged her closer and muttered against her lips, “I’d like to tear this gown off you and take you, here and now.”
At his words she went very still.
Puzzled by her reaction, he lifted his head. “What is it, Diamond? What’s wrong?”
“It’s...me.” She pushed free of his arms and took a step back. It hurt. Oh, sweet heaven, it hurt to push him away when she wanted him so. But she had to. She couldn’t lie. Not to him. “It’s...this,” she said, staring down at the gown.
“I don’t understand.”
“Oh, Adam. Don’t you see? This isn’t me. None of this. The fancy dinner party. The polite conversation. And this. This gown. I didn’t pick it out. Pearl and Jade and Ruby did. It looks like them, not me.”
His tone softened. “I know that, Diamond.”
Her head came up sharply. “You... do?”
“Of course. But what’s the harm in a pretty gown? Or in a pretty illusion? As long as we both know who and what we really are, there’s no harm done.”
“But I feel like such a fool. I was trying to pretend that I could be a fancy lady like them. And I was trying to make believe that love was some kind of parlor game, to be played for the sake of winning.”
“You know better.” He touched a hand to her cheek in an achingly sweet gesture and kept it there, staring deeply into her eyes. “And so do I. Love, real love, doesn’t care about clothes, or fancy dinners, or what others think. Real love seeks only the best for the other person.”
Love. He was talking about real love, real caring. “Adam? Why... ?” She felt her throat tighten, and swallowed before forcing herself to go on. “Why have you been avoiding me?”
He lowered his hand to his side. “Because we’re—” his voice roughened with emotion “—not right for each other.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her with a finger to her lips. “And now that I’ve had a chance to see how your life really is, I’m even more certain.”
“I don’t understa—”
“Maybe it’s because you’ve been sheltered in the past. Or maybe it’s because there’s too much in my past. Whatever the reason, it’s better if I keep my distance from now on.”
“But I don’t want you to.”
He shook his head. “Diamond, your instincts were right that day in the barn. You were right to be afraid. What almost happened between us would have spoiled something special about you. Don’t you see? You need to save yourself for that one special person who’ll be worthy of someone as wonderful as you.”
“But what if I’ve already found him?” she asked miserably.
“Now who’s being blinded by illusion?” His tone was harsh. “This fine suit is a remnant from my past. What I’ve become is a man only too willing to use a gun. And I’ve paid dearly for that. Don’t you forget it.” His voice softened slightly. “Don’t let anyone change you. Just go right on being what you are, Diamond. A wild and beautiful surprise, as untamed as this land. You deserve only the best. I know someday you’ll find it.”
He lif
ted his hand, as if to touch her again. Then he seemed to think better of it and backed away.
“Thank you for a lovely evening. I’ll see myself out.”
He turned on his heel and crossed the room.
Diamond stood, rigid with shock. She watched him open the door, and listened to the sound of his footsteps on the veranda. A minute later she heard the sound of hoofbeats. And still she stood, unmoving.
A short time later, when Pearl, Jade and Ruby returned, the room was empty. Upstairs, Diamond’s bedroom door was locked. And though they called her name and knocked repeatedly on the door, they heard not a sound.
Adam urged the stallion into a run and pushed him to the limit. His thoughts were as dark as the night that closed in around him. It was best this way. Clean. Quick. Final.
Tonight had almost been his undoing. She’d looked so beautiful. So alluring. So damned vulnerable. And when he’d said what he thought she needed to hear, she’d looked so wounded.
If only she weren’t so easy to read. All her emotions were there in her eyes.
He’d have rather cut out his heart than hurt her like that. But one of them had to be strong enough, and smart enough, to see how wrong it would be to give in to these feelings. She deserved a bright and wonderful future with a man who could give her all her father had given her, and more. She deserved the best of everything.
At his ranch, he turned his horse into the corral and walked to the darkened cabin. He was glad Zeb was up at Poison Creek with the herd. He wasn’t in the mood for company tonight.
Diamond knelt by the window, her head thrown back, staring up at the stars. She had no way of knowing how long she’d been there. Hours, maybe. Or mere minutes. It felt like forever.
The full skirt of her gown was crushed beneath her. She took no notice. The room had grown cold. The fire had long ago burned to embers. She didn’t care.
This was worse than Pa’s death, she realized. Then she’d been filled with a sort of raw fury, a thunderstorm of emotion, that drove her into action, seeking vengeance. But this. This pain in her heart was worse than any grief. It left her numb. And unable, or unwilling, to act.
And so she knelt, still and quiet, watching the night sky. Her eyes were dry. She had not wept. Nor would she. She felt... empty. Drained.
Adam Winter didn’t want her. It was that simple. What she felt for him was not what he felt for her. Now she would have to accept that fact and get on with her life.
The numbness set in again. It wasn’t possible to get on with her life. He had become her life. This man, this... silent, brooding rancher had taken possession of her heart, her mind, her soul. And then had callously rejected her.
He had awakened her to passion. And then had tossed her aside.
His words, cruel, hurtful, began to play through her mind. “We’re not right for each other. Maybe it’s because you’ve been so sheltered in the past.... Whatever the reason, it’s best if we keep our distance.”
“Sheltered,” she muttered, getting stiffly to her feet. “Maybe I don’t know as much about men and women as Jade, but I’m not a child.”
She began to pace, feeling her temper beginning to return. And then she remembered some other words he’d spoken. “Or maybe there’s been too much in my past.... Real love seeks only the best for the other person.”
Was that what this was about? Had he somehow decided that he wasn’t good enough for her? Of course. She should have seen it.
“Oh, Adam,” she moaned aloud. “How could I have been so blind?”
She tugged frantically at the crystal buttons of her gown, ripping off several in her haste to undress. She slipped out of the petticoat and the soft kid slippers and picked up the pile of clothing in the corner of her room. Within minutes she had dressed in her old britches, shirt and boots. Gathering up her cowhide jacket and rifle, she turned toward the door.
Pearl, Jade and Ruby had stopped knocking and calling. But she could tell from the whispered voices beyond the door that they were still waiting for her.
Thinking quickly, she left the door latched and slipped out her window. Minutes later she was astride her mare, racing headlong over the hills to Adam’s cabin.
Adam lay on his bed, one arm flung beneath his head. Smoke drifted from the cigarette that dangled from his lips. His eyes were closed, but he was as far from sleep as a man could be. In fact, every fiber of his being was alive with tension.
He had pondered every imaginable way to kidnap Diamond and flee with her to some distant place. A place where they could start over. In this imaginary place, she wouldn’t own the richest cattle empire in Texas. And he wouldn’t be a man who’d turned his back on everything that ever mattered, to become a loner and drifter. But each time he imagined such a life, images from his past intruded, haunting him as they haunted him every night of his life. He couldn’t go back. He couldn’t undo what had been done, nor change what he’d become.
He sprang to his feet and crossed the room, tossing the cigarette into the fire. Now who was playing games? He was as bad as Diamond, wishing he could be something he wasn’t.
He heard the sound of hoofbeats and reached for his rifle. Peering through a crack in the door, he watched as the horse and rider came into view.
When he caught sight of Diamond, he let out the breath he’d been holding on a rush of air and threw open the door.
“What the hell are you doing out here alone? Where are your wranglers?”
Ignoring him, Diamond turned her horse into the corral before making her way to his cabin.
His temper exploded. “Damn it, you headstrong little fool. There’s a gunman loose out here somewhere, just waiting for a chance like this.” He caught her roughly by the sleeve. “You know the rules.”
She gave him a sly, beguiling smile. “I decided to be like you and not play by the rules.”
“What are you... ?” Seeing the look in her eyes, he released her and backed into the cabin.
She followed, pulling the door closed and leaning against it. Now that she was here, all the turmoil was gone. In its place was a strange sense of... anticipation.
He set the rifle beside the door, then, needing to put some distance between them, crossed the room. He picked up a log and tossed it on the fire, then wiped his palms on his trousers.
All the while, Diamond merely watched.
He was barefoot and naked to the waist, wearing only dark pants. His hair was mussed, as was his bed.
He’d been smoking. The faint whiff of tobacco still hung in the air, along with the scent of wood smoke and coffee.
“Does anyone know you’re here?” He turned his back to the flre.
“No one.”
“I’ll get dressed and see you home.” He picked up his shirt and managed to slip it over one arm before her words caused him to freeze.
“I’m not going home, Adam.” She crossed the room and touched a hand to his naked back. “I’m staying here.”
He stiffened, but didn’t turn toward her. The shirt hung from his arm, forgotten. “That’s impossible. You can’t stay here.”
“Why?” She brought her other hand to his shoulder and pressed her cheek lightly to his warm flesh. Oh, how had she lived so long without touching him like this?
He felt as though he’d been slammed into a wall of stone. His breath caught in his throat. “Because—” he forced his mind to work, choosing his words carefully “—I have better things to do than play nursemaid to some lovesick girl.”
“Girl!” She pushed away from him and watched as he slowly turned. Her chin came up in the familiar pose, and she managed to ask, “Is that why you ran away tonight? You were afraid of a girl?”
A tiny thread of his temper came unraveled. “I’ll remind you that I didn’t run away.”
She was on safer ground now. She’d always been able to handle a good fight. “Oh, you ran, all right. As fast as you could. You barely took the time to say good-night.”
She was wearing the fami
liar rough shirt and britches, but all he could see was the lush body that had been revealed in that gown. He blinked, hoping to erase the image. “Well, it wasn’t fear that had me running.”
“Oh. That’s right.” She lifted a hand to his chest. The fierce pounding of his heart gave her renewed courage. He wasn’t as immune to her as he pretended. “It was some noble desire to save me from myself.”
He didn’t know if he had any strength left, but he made one last heroic effort. He caught her wrist and pushed her hand away, as though the touch of her offended him. “I had no choice, since you don’t seem to have enough sense to save yourself.”
Her lips curved upward in a smile. She hadn’t come all this way just to calmly accept defeat. “And what if I don’t want to be saved?”
“That’s just the point, Diamond. Somebody has to look out for you.”
She moved so quickly, he had no time to react. Standing on tiptoe she brought her lips to his. “I think you’re the one who’s going to need saving, Adam.”
His body reacted in a purely physical way. There was no way he could stop his arms from closing around her. And no way to keep his lips from melting against hers. But he had to act quickly to stop this storm of emotion that was brewing inside.
Calling on every ounce of willpower, he let his arms fall at his sides. Though his voice sounded hoarse in his ears, he managed to say, “All right, Diamond. You’ve proved your point. You’re...pleasant enough to kiss. But you’re hardly irresistible. I’ll see you home now. I have a herd of cattle to see to in the morning.”
She nearly reeled from the pain. She turned away to hide the hurt that she knew would be in her eyes. What a fool she’d been. Riding all this way, thinking she could walk in and seduce a worldly man like Adam Winter.
“You’re right, of course.” She swallowed. “I’ll... wait out by the corral while you get dressed.”
He felt like the lowest kind of snake. But, he reminded himself, this was all for her own good. What would happen to her reputation if the town gossips found out that she’d spent the night at his cabin? No matter what the cost to him, he had to get her out of here before ...