Cheerios, shoving them down into the milk until each one was so soggy I didn't want to eat it at all.
My eyes hurt. The skin around my eyes hurt. Even my scalp hurt. I had never been so tired, so
frustrated, so scared in my life.All I could do was hope that my plan for Noelle would work. All I
could do was hope that the stalker wouldn't attack again before I won her back. Because I wasn't
sure how much more of this I could take.
What would I do if it didn't work? Who would I turn to then?
A familiar laugh caught my attention and I looked over at the Billings table. There was Noelle, her
head thrown back in laughter,
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looking fresh-faced and gorgeous and carefree. Didn't she see how miserable I was? Didn't she
care at all?
Then Sabine stepped up to my table, blocking my view.
"Hey," she said tentatively. "Do you mind if I sit?"
"You probably shouldn't," I told her flatly. "Noelle will make your life a living hell."
"I don't care."
Sabine set her tray down and smoothed her brown tweed pencil skirt underneath her as she sat.
She slid her linen napkin out and unfolded it on her lap.
"You're my friend, and if Noelle doesn't like it, c'est la vie," she said.
I was so touched, my eyes filled with tears. Sabine was the only real friend I had left. Even
Constance only spoke to me when there was no chance of her being caught. Not that I didn't
understand. Constance was, after all, terrified of Noelle. As I had been last year. But that just made
Sabine's sacrifice all the more special. Now I needed both hands to hold my head up.
"Reed? What is it? Are you all right?" Sabine asked, concerned.
"No. I'm not," I said, staring down at my cereal bowl. My voice was thick with unshed tears. "It's
happening again."
One hot tear escaped the corner of my eye and I let it run right down the side of my nose and plop
onto my tray. I was so tired. So, so, so tired.
"What?" Sabine asked, breathless. She leaned into the table. "What's happening again? Reed,
you're scaring me."
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Don't do it. Don't tell. You've kept the secret so long--why tell now?Because I'm exhausted.
Because I need help. Because everyone already thinks I'm crazy anyway.
I looked up at Sabine. Her green eyes were wide with worry. She was clearly the only person who
cared about me around here. The very thought was so overwhelming, I caved like a paper tent.
"Someone's stalking me," I whispered, my face hot with shame.
"What?" Sabine gasped under her breath. She balled her napkin up in her hands and twisted.
"What do you mean?"
"For the past couple of months, someone has been leaving things for me to find... things related to
Cheyenne," I said in a rush. I couldn't believe I was finally letting this out, but it actually felt kind of
good to share it with someone--freeing. "They were in our room. They left black balls in my drawer
and Cheyenne's clothes in my closet, and they planted that perfume in my bag the day of the fund-
raiser, and they sent me these e-mails as if they were from Cheyenne. Hundreds and hundreds of
e-mails. I think they even fished that photo of me and Cheyenne out of my bottom drawer and
pinned it to my bulletin board that time... remember?"
Sabine bit her lip. "Which picture?"
I was so frustrated I dropped both hands on the table, which caused a clatter of silverware and
dishes. "Forget it. It's not important. But whoever it is has gotten really crazy since I moved into
Pemberly." I looked around to make sure no one was in hearing distance, then lowered my voice
just to be sure. "They left me those pills. The same ones Cheyenne used to kill herself. Or, well, I
mean,
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the same ones the murderer used to kill her, I guess."
Sabine gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "What?"
"Yeah. And that photo of me and Cheyenne, well, they pulled it out again, but this time they X'd
out the faces. And last night they destroyed my room. Left the bed unmade and did this other stuff
that Cheyenne once did to me...." I stopped, gasping for air. Someone at a nearby table laughed,
and a glass broke on the other side of the room, drawing a quick round of applause--reminding me
of where I was. For a moment I think I'd been so focused on my story, I'd forgotten. "Sabine, I
don't even want to go back to my room."
For a long moment Sabine said nothing. She sat back in her chair, rock still, and stared down at the
table, clearly trying to process everything I'd said.
"I can't believe this," she said finally. "Why did you not tell me this before? This person sounds
dangerous."
"I didn't want you to think I was crazy," I admitted, toying with my water glass. "I thought I could
handle it on my own. Or I thought it would go away. But it hasn't. It's only gotten worse."
Sabine pushed her tray forward and folded her arms in front of it. "And you have no idea who it
is?"
"No," I said miserably. "I thought I did, but..."
Sabine folded her napkin back over her lap. She pushed a stray strand of dark hair behind her ear
and looked straight at me.
"This may sound weird," Sabine said tentatively. "But have you considered Ivy?"
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I had felt as if I had been spinning and spinning and spinning in place and someone had just held
out a hand to stop me. As if the whole world had just snapped back into focus. Finally.
"Why? Do you know something?" I asked.
Sabine glanced over her shoulder before leaning in even farther. "I didn't think anything of it at the
time, but I saw Ivy inside Billings the morning of the fund-raiser."
All the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. "Inside? How?"
"I think... I think she was visiting Rose. At least, she was coming out of Rose's room," Sabine
admitted. "I figured they were old friends so it didn't seem that strange to me, but now... it's kind
of a big coincidence, no? She could have left Cheyenne's perfume for you that day."
My mind reeled and a cold shudder passed through me, making me cling to my cardigan sweater.
Rose. Could Rose have been letting Ivy into Billings all that time? Could she have been helping Ivy
torture me? She was the only other person who had been in the room when Cheyenne had pulled
her blush bead act. It all made perfect sense. And I knew she was still friendly with Ivy. She and
Portia were the ones who had floated the idea of re-extending Ivy's invite to Billings at the
beginning of the year. Maybe she had been trying to bring Ivy and Cheyenne back together.
Smooth everything over. That was totally her style.
But then why would sweet little Rose want to stalk me? She had been Cheyenne's best friend. Did
she really think I had pushed
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Cheyenne over the edge? Was she punishing me? Did she blame me for Cheyenne's expulsion?
"Where is she?" I said, glancing over at the Billings table. "I have to talk to her."
"Rose? You didn't hear?" Sabine said, stabbing at a chunk of melon with her fork.
"Hear what?" I asked, my throat closing.
"She went home yesterday morning," Sabine replied. "She has mono or something, so they sent
her home so she wouldn't spread it."
"Mono?" I repeated. That seemed a tad convenient. Right when I was onto a breakthrough, the
girl who coul
d sort it all out had fled campus? My pulse raced through my veins like a brakeless
freight train. It was all too big of a coincidence. It had to be Rose and Ivy. It had to be.
But why?
'You should go to the police," Sabine said, her eyes serious. "I mean it, Reed. If someone is stalking
you, that's a serious crime, no?"
I scoffed. "They won't listen to me. I've already asked them to investigate Ivy and they won't
bother. I need to get some concrete evidence."
"Well, did you take pictures of the damage to your room?" Sabine asked. "Show them that."
My face burned in embarrassment. It hadn't even occurred to me to take pictures. I had been too
busy freaking out and trying to clean it up so that I wouldn't have to look at it anymore.
"No. No pictures," I said.
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"Oh." Sabine chewed slowly. "Well then, next time... I mean, if there is a next time," she said
comfortingly, "make sure you get pictures."
"I will."
I folded my arms on the table and rested my chin atop them, realizing I actually felt relieved. Just
like that, I could put Ivy back at the top of my list. I no longer had to figure out a whole new list of
stalker suspects. I wouldn't have to look over my shoulder every second--only when Ivy was
around.
Another laugh from the Billings table caught our attention. Sabine rolled her eyes as she took
another bite of melon.
"I am so sick of that Amberly girl," she said.
"Tell me about it," I replied, happy for the change of subject. Something to distract me. "I'll bet she
sucks as a roommate."
"I hardly know," Sabine replied. "She's in Noelle's room twenty-four-seven. They're fused at the
hip. All they do is talk about their travel plans for Christmas. Noelle even gave Amberly a vintage
Louis Vuitton travel trunk. Portia said it's worth more than Noelle's car."
I could practically feel my skin turning green. It was weird even to think about Portia and Sabine
hanging around Billings, discussing such things. Weird to think that normal Billings life was going
on without me.
"I don't understand what Noelle sees in her," I said through my teeth. "Would you believe the little
twit tried to blackmail me?"
"No! How?" Sabine asked.
"Remember the other night at the library when you walked in on us by the vending machines?" I
said.
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Sabine nodded, obviously intrigued, her fork suspended over her fruit salad.
"She basically told me she wanted me to give her that Billings disc or else," I said, rolling my eyes.
Sabine's face slackened slightly. "But you destroyed that disc."
"I know, but I told Noelle I still had a copy," I replied, blushing slightly as I recalled my own lame
attempt at blackmail.
"Oh. But you don't?" Sabine asked, pushing her food around now.
"No. I was just trying to get Noelle's attention," I said with a sigh, folding my arms on the table.
"Anyway, Amberly went all Sopranos about it. Like she was willing to do anything to protect her
own."
"Well, it's a good thing she can't get her hands on that information," Sabine said, laying her fork
down finally. "It would not be good for anyone if that got out."
"I know. I kind of have a feeling that, no matter what she says, our privacy would not be her first
priority," I added, glancing over at Amberly as she held out her hand to show her manicured nails
to Lorna.
"A ditzy little upstart like her? Definitely not," Sabine agreed, following my gaze.
"Well, whatever. I'm kind of dying to see what her version of 'or else' looks like," I said with a laugh
as I stood. "I'm going to go get some more cereal."
As I rejoined the food line, Ivy and Josh were just coming out the
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other end with their breakfasts. Much to my surprise, Josh said hi to me, but Ivy simply smirked. I
narrowed my eyes at her and didn't look away until the snarky expression completely fell off her
face.
She and Rose had been torturing me. I was sure of it. Now all I had to do was find the proof. And
photograph it.
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DIFFICULT
As I sat in morning services, listening to the Crom drone on about rules and regulations for
tomorrow night's Easton Holiday Dinner, I realized I felt better than I had at breakfast. About as
good as a person in my rather precarious and pathetic position could feel. I turned in my pew
slightly to glance back at Noelle. She was texting on her iPhone, so she didn't see me. I couldn't
help but cross my fingers. I so had to win her back tomorrow night. Had to. Because if my plan
didn't work... No. I couldn't think that way. I had to be positive.Wiping the worry from my mind, I
started to face forward again, but before I could I caught a glimpse of Josh on the other side of the
aisle, sitting on the end of the last pew. He wasn't paying attention to Cromwell either. Instead, he
was sketching like crazy in a small sketch pad, his brow knit in intense concentration. As I watched
him, he pressed his lips together, then pursed them, then went back
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to normal and started the process all over again. I smiled, my eyes stinging with nostalgia.
He always did that when he was really in the zone, though he never believed me when I told him
about it. I wished I could take a picture right then and prove it to him, but it wasn't my place
anymore. And besides, Cromwell's henchman Mr. White would see the flash and swoop down on
me like a vulture.
But I couldn't tear my eyes away from Josh. The weak sunlight streaming through the colorful
stained-glass windows danced against the right side of his face. There was a tiny fray in the hem of
his turtleneck sweater and his corduroys were partially rolled up on one side, revealing the tiniest
bit of pale skin. I drank in every detail of him while I could. If only he knew how much I missed
every inch of him, inside and out. If only he knew how much I regretted everything.
Cromwell dismissed us just as the second brilliant idea of the past twenty-four hours hit me like a
brick to the head. The perfect gift for Josh. What might be the perfect gift for both of us.
I jumped up and raced down the rapidly filling aisle, headed for the heavy, arched door. If I was
going to pull this off, I was going to need as much time as I could make for myself.
"Gotta throw up again, Brennan?" Ivy shouted after me. "They have clinics for that kind of thing!"
A few people laughed, but I ignored them all. I would deal with Ivy later. I shoved the door open
and the cold air hit me like a slap to the face. I paused for a second to button up and pull my hat
on. Big, big mistake.
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"So, Glass-Licker," Amberly said, sidling up next to me. "You missed your deadline."
I clenched my jaw and started speed-walking down the cobbled path. Unfortunately, Amberly had
no trouble keeping up.
"You owe me a disc, remember?" she said. "I hope you have it with you this morning. I'm really too
busy to keep following you around."
I stopped in my tracks and looked at her, letting out a fed-up sigh.
"You don't have it, do you?" Amberly laughed and shook her head. "Don't you realize I can make
things very difficult for you?"
I threw up my hands and let them slap down at my sides. "Do you even hear
how ridiculous you
sound? What did you do last summer, take some course called Soap Opera Villainy 101?"
Amberly's blue eyes narrowed. She tugged her fur-lined gloves on slowly. "Okay, then. Difficult it
is."
I shook my head mirthfully. "Yes. Difficult it is. Bring on the difficult. I can't wait to see what your
tiny little brain comes up with."
Then I turned and strolled off casually, letting her see just how very unaffected I was by her
threats. There was a lot that could get to me, especially lately, but I was not going to be
intimidated by some poser freshman. Especially not Amberly.
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EVIDENCE
I spent the next twenty-four hours on edge. Not only was I now looking forward to the Holiday
Dinner as the potential setting for my reconciliation with both Noelle and Josh, but I was dying to
get back into Ivy's room and do some more snooping. I had to find some real evidence that she
was my stalker and that she was plotting against Noelle. I had to put an end to her plans before I
lost my mind. Before Noelle lost her life.In the meantime, a thousand questions plagued me. Did
Ivy really kill Cheyenne? And if so, did Rose know about it, or was she only helping Ivy mess with
me? Why would Rose want to hurt Cheyenne? They had been such good friends. And why would
she want to hurt Noelle?
Too many questions. None of which would be answered by Rose, apparently, since I had left about
twenty messages on her voice mail and heard nothing back.
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But no matter. I could take care of this without her explaining--or, even better, admitting her guilt.
If I was on my own, I was on my own.
* * *
Friday morning I stood next to my door inside my room and waited for Ivy and Jillian to get their
stuff together and get out. The general noise in the hallways was convivial and excited. The Crom
had shortened all our classes for the day, so that they would all be crammed in before lunch,
giving us time to get ready for the Holiday Dinner that afternoon. The atmosphere in Pemberly
was not unlike the last day at Croton High before Christmas break. I could just tell no one was
going to be paying attention in class. We would all be too busy looking forward to the festivities.
But first, I had a mission.
I heard Ivy and Jillian's door close and they strode by my room, chatting about what they might
wear that night. Taking Sabine's advice to heart, I slid my iPhone into the back pocket of my jeans
and waited until their voices faded to nothing. Then I slipped out of my room and into theirs. This
time I went right for Ivy's dresser, yanking open the top drawer. All her things were folded and
lined up in perfect little rows, the black underwear separated from the white, separated from the
colorful. Crap. If I was going to search this stuff, I was going to have to do it carefully, meticulously.
Not good, considering how badly my hands were shaking.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed a row of tiny undies aside, cringing at the very idea that I was
touching Ivy Slade's intimates. I quickly uncovered birth control pills and a box of condoms, both of
which
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