The taste of the honey wine at dinner made Shade want to drown herself in the glass as it swirled around. The food seemed intolerable and sat untouched on her plate. Rubbing a finger on the edge of the glass she’d refilled a few too many times, she watched the golden fluid ripple slightly. She was no stranger to intoxication; the wild parties after graduation had been a bit too much fun. Luckily, Dylan had never partaken in any of the drinking, preferring to escort Shade home each time without a complaint. Shade had always been the responsible one before that, always taking care of her siblings and her responsibilities, never having too much to drink at other parties. Knowing Dylan would be there to take her home when she needed him to allowed her to let loose more than she probably should’ve at the end of the school year parties.
Shade chuckled to herself, remembering how she had taught Dylan how to drive the family’s minivan. He hadn’t a clue how to drive the massive metal machine but had been determined to learn since Shade had insisted he should learn to drive if he was to spend any kind of time in the “normal” human world.
Dylan had mastered driving fairly quickly. He even liked to drive her family around for errands, shopping, daycare or whatever. Her mom had liked this quite a bit. Shade had loved having a chauffeur, too. It made it easy to relax and numb her mind to blow off the anxiety she had pent up inside.
“Shade, are you alright?” Sary’s voice broke her thoughts. “Maybe we need to give the honey wine a break.” Sary replaced her glass with a cup of water and shoved a plate of food closer to Shade, who was leaning on the table to keep from the swaying. The alcohol was definitely more potent in Faerie. Shade closed her eyes, feeling the room spinning, but at least, she was feeling a lot less upset.
“Try to eat something, Shade. For crying out loud, what’s going on? I know I don’t know a lot about what is going on with you because I’ve been with Stephen most of the time, and I’m sorry about that, but you need to get a grip!” Sary’s frustrated, tense voice made Shade sit back up and stare at her friend. Shade’s eyelids hung heavy as she gripped the table even tighter to steady herself.
“I’m not hungry, Sary. I can’t really say what’s going on, because if I knew what the hell was going on, maybe I would be okay. But I’m not, so there!” Shade sighed at her own childish rant and stood up. Her balance swayed, but she caught herself before falling.
Sary’s lips were pressed in a thin line as she watched her cross the room. Shade barely reached her room before needing to stop for a breather. She held the stone wall for support as her senses attempted to equalize. Hot tears were pouring out, streaming down her cheeks as she thought about Dylan leaving. She’d told Soap to leave after she’d realized Dylan wasn’t coming back. She’d bawled her eyes out until she couldn’t anymore. Shade had barely made it to dinner, and only under Sary’s insistence did she drag herself to the dining hall.
There she had sulked in her chair for a while before drowning her sorrows in the wine. Her stomach was twisting into a knot now. She hadn’t even drunk much, but the lack of food was probably a very bad thing to mix in. Shade fumbled with her doorknob and entered her room. She thought of Ursad’s concerned eyes from his table at dinner. He looked like he was going to head over to her when she’d shaken her head toward him, warning him not to. He remained in his seat but not without looking distracted and quite upset. Soap had kept his distance, too, aware of her mood.
Shade flopped onto the bed and stared out the massive windows. The light of day was fading again into brilliant purples and reds, giving the clouds an almost ripped appearance across the sky. She buried her head in the pillows as she pulled the covers around herself. She felt like sinking into the bed and never arising.
Shade felt overwhelmed by the feelings flowing through her. She’d messed it up for her and Dylan. She liked Soap, but it wasn’t the same. How could she fix this? How could she atone for the pain she’d obviously caused Dylan? Rubbing her face, she groaned. She had no idea how to fix anything. She had so much to do, and all that’d been accomplished was to lose someone she cared for. She couldn’t even tell him now how she felt about him. She watched the sun bleed away into the dusk and prayed Dylan would come back eventually. She guessed he would probably have to, especially with the blood bind still in place.
The shock of her sudden and intense feelings for Dylan disarmed her. Hot, plump tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over her reddened cheeks. She rubbed her face on the soft pillows, hugging them tighter as the sobs overwhelmed her. Her body shuddered with the effort as she let the crying run its course. The honey wine’s sleepy effects were now working on her, but she fought it, sitting up in the bed and staring out the windows again. She wanted to go home badly. That very instant, in fact.
Shaking the thought out of her head, she decided against asking Camulus for a quick teleport ride back home. She was not sober at all and didn’t want her mother or siblings to see her intoxicated. James and Alice, the two youngest, were impressionable, and Benton, who was one year younger than her, was not so easily fooled. He had relentlessly questioned her when she’d returned from the last trip through Faerie until she made a point to avoid him completely. Dylan’s presence had only heightened his endless suspicion.
Shade wondered if her brother knew anything about Faerie and her abilities. She didn’t really like to confide in him. They were not close in any sense of the word. Sometimes she wondered if that was her fault. She had always busied herself with school and hanging out with her friend Brisa, she hardly noticed what Benton was up to, even more so now that Dylan had come into the picture.
Benton had been particularly suspicious of Dylan from the get go. Benton had eyed Dylan from head to toe without discretion when she’d introduced him to her family. Benton’s frown had made it obvious he didn’t like competition as man of the house and disapproved of the arrangement immensely. He then proceeded to avoid Dylan like the plague, and mostly retreated to his room, blasting the music as loud as he could get away with.
Now Shade wished she were back at home with Benton’s familiar gloominess to look forward to. She sighed, stretching her arms and legs as she lay back on the bed. She needed to talk to someone who wasn’t fey. Like Brisa, who would know something about guys. Maybe Benton might have some male insight on what she should do about Dylan and Soap. She wondered if Benton would like Soap any better. Squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing her face, she had to admit, she really didn’t think so. Benton was very protective of the family, and any outside male threat to them was anything but welcomed.
Shade shifted on the bed again, feeling the restlessness crawling under her skin. She nodded to herself, finally making up her mind. I’ll go home once I sober up. Only then could she sort things out and think straight. But first, she still had to find Draden and get him to talk more about her father. She suspected Draden knew far more than he let on, and now was as good a time as any to start following her intuition.
She quickly stood up but immediately sank back down onto the fluffy bed as she groaned. The room was still tilting from her over eagerness with the alcohol. She flung herself back onto the pillows. She would’ve to wait out the ill effects of the sweet faery drink before attempting to walk out of the palace. Shade curled up on the silken cloud of pillows and sheets, letting herself drift off into sleep.
Chapter Ten