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“My men will stand,” Tully said, fixing a hard look on the crowd.
A rumble of assent greeted her words. Fade was ominously silent, but I thought that was because he was angry with me for scaring him. He might also have a deep objection to cooperating with the Uroch; I just hoped I could make him understand that the young ones weren’t the same as their parents, just as he and I weren’t like the elders in the enclave. It was crazy that I had become an advocate for the monsters.
“Tully doesn’t go to war without me,” Spence said. “And I’ll make sure my boys are ready to bring the pain. ”
Morrow added, “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. ”
Thornton spoke up then. “Company D may not like your orders, but we follow them. When does the assault commence?”
Relief surged through me. At least I hadn’t lost my officers. “I need everyone assembled here, three hours before dawn, two days from now. Before then, I’ll speak with the boatmen about ferrying us across. We can’t strike if we’re all exhausted and waterlogged from the swim. ”
“Good call,” Tegan said.
“The Uroch will be wearing something—I’m not sure what—to help us tell them from the elders. It may be hard to track in battle, but a good rule of thumb is, if they’re fighting other Muties, they’re on our side, so leave ’em alone. ”
That sparked nervous, uncertain laughter from the men. I imagined it was hard for them to accept this idea. Fortunately, they would have almost two days to digest the new reality. If some of them left the unit or refused to fight, so be it.
I went on, “One last thing. Not a word to the villagers. There’s no need for them to worry. All the fighting will happen across the river, and they might panic. Understood?”
“Yes, sir,” the men answered as one.
“Dismissed. I’ll see you day after tomorrow, three hours before dawn. ”
As the men went about their business, some discussing the incredible idea of the Uroch helping us, others saying they’d rather kill Muties than fight alongside them, Morrow pushed through the men, looking troubled. I thought I understood what was bothering him, but I let him start the conversation.
He paced as most of Company D headed back toward town. “This is my home. I don’t know if I can let this go without telling my father. He’s the governor, responsible for people’s safety. He needs to know about the army on the other side of the island. ”
“Can he handle the information?” I asked. “If the Uroch meant to hurt Rosemere, they’d have attacked last night. Szarok wouldn’t have crept into town quietly, looking for me, so we could build an accord. ”
“That’s probably true, but silence feels like betrayal. ”
I nodded. “Follow your conscience, then. But if the situation blows up, your father informs the town council, they panic and a mob of villagers descends on the Uroch, it’ll be a bloodbath. You know that. ”
Tegan stepped up and put a comforting hand on his arm. “Maybe we could meet them? I must confess I’m curious—and it might set James’s mind at ease to verify that these Muties—I mean Uroch—are everything you claim. ”
Morrow gazed at her as though she were the answer to every dream he’d ever known. “That way, I can be sure they’re not moving against Rosemere. Would Szarok agree to that?”
“I’m sure he would. ” Glancing around, I found Rex nearby. “Would you mind guiding Tegan and Morrow to the camp?”
My brother smiled. “Not at all. I’m glad to finally feel useful. I’m the worst in the company with any weapon, apart from a skinning knife. ”
Tully and Spence had been listening to the conversation and at that point, she said, “We’d like to go with them. I have some questions for our new allies. Not that I don’t trust you, Deuce, but if I’m ordering my men to fight alongside them, I want to satisfy myself on some issues. ”
“Just do me the kindness of being polite?” I requested.
They all nodded, like that was a given. A small party, made up of Tegan, Morrow, Tully, Spence, and Rex, shouldn’t alarm the Uroch. So I gave the expedition my blessing with one condition. “I’d prefer that you return by midnight before the attack. My officers can’t be wandering the shoreline when they’re supposed to be here. ”
“Done,” Tully agreed.
They moved off, leaving me alone with Fade, who had been seething at my side for the last fifteen minutes. His silence was like a sunburn. The rest of the men were halfway back to Rosemere, but I thought it best to let him yell at me in private … if he ever spoke to me again.
I swallowed hard to get my apology past the lump in my throat. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. ”
His reply, when it came, was a low snarl. “Do you have any idea what last night was like for me? What I imagined they were doing to you? We thought the horde had you. Company D was ready to go to war, even though we had no chance of winning. They were all ready to die for you, and if you had been half an hour later, we’d have been across the river. ”
My heart dropped all the way to my toes. In disbelief, I said, “Even if I had been taken, none of you should react that way. I’m one person. I’m not irreplaceable. ”
Fade grabbed my shoulders, as if he couldn’t help himself. His fingers bit down, not quite enough to hurt, but I felt the ferocity coursing through him, his pulse hammering in his wrists. “You are. How can you not know that?”
I started to answer, but his mouth took mine, and his kiss was hard and hungry, angry and voracious, until my mouth felt swollen and tender, but I held on to him, sparked by the need he had always hidden. Fade tried to be gentle with me but that wasn’t the whole of him. He was furious and starved, desperate, and I felt it too, until we were both trembling. His breath mingled with mine when he eased his head back.
Against my lips, he whispered, “Sometimes I could almost hate you because you don’t understand how much you mean to me, how dark and empty I was before. Solnyshko moyo. ”
I didn’t think I’d ever heard those words, but I was wobbly from exhaustion as well as his anger. “What does that mean?”
“It’s in my father’s tongue. I can’t remember more, but he used to say that to my mother. Solnyshko moyo. It means ‘my sun. ’” Fade leaned his brow against mine, closing his eyes. “Each time Stalker called you ‘dove,’ I wanted to hit him. Because you’re not a little gray bird … you’re all the light in the world. ”
“So are you,” I said, flattening my hands on his chest. He jerked at the contact, but not in a bad way. His breath hissed through his teeth, and he opened his eyes to gaze at me with desire blazing like a signal fire. “And I do understand. You’re all that’s kept me going when it seemed like this was hopeless. It’s also why I did whatever was necessary to bring you back. You’re my beating heart, and without you, I cannot live. ”
“Now? You say that to me now?” Fade seemed peculiarly indignant as he gestured at the empty, rocky coastline. “Here? When we’ve both been up all night, Stone and Thimble are waiting for us at the cottage, and there’s not a bed in sight. ”
Ah. Heat washed my cheeks when I understood what he meant. “There’s a mossy bank. ”
He sighed at me and pulled me closer, gentle this time. “Let’s get some rest and tomorrow, we’ll talk to the boatmen. ”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t—”
“If you swear they’re different from the rest, I believe you. I can’t pretend I’m happy about it, but if the alternative is having our settlements destroyed, then … I can handle it. ”
Fade ought to rant at me some more because I deserve it. I hadn’t meant to frighten him—and the consequences could’ve been so grave. I shuddered as I envisioned my soldiers dead on the wrong side of the river, all because I hadn’t thought to send word that I was safe.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, as we strolled toward the village, too tired for a faster pace.
“I’m still angry, but
I’ll think of a way for you to make it up to me. ”
I angled a teasing grin at him. “I’ll let you beat me the next time we spar. ”
“Not what I had in mind,” Fade muttered.
Back in town, I made up a ridiculous story about walking along the coast and getting lost. By their dubious expressions, Stone and Thimble suspected I was lying—and I didn’t know whether to be pleased that they thought better of my abilities—or dismayed that my deception disappointed them. Still, they put aside their qualms and invited us back to their home, where they fed Fade and me. Talk was scant and stilted while my former brat-mates held whole conversations with their eyes.
Finally, Thimble said, “You’re exhausted. Don’t mind us. Get some rest. ”
With her blessing, we crawled up into the loft without delay. Downstairs, Stone set to household chores and played with Robin while Thimble went to her workshop. Fade pulled me close and settled me against his chest. For a few seconds, I listened to his heart.
“When did you know?” I wondered sleepily.
“What?”
“How you felt about me. ”
“I always admired your skill,” he said, sounding thoughtful. “You were so intense about your training that I wondered if you’d focus so fiercely on somebody you loved. ”
“And do I?”
Fade kissed the top of my head. “More than I could’ve imagined. That’s part of why I asked Silk to partner us. ”
That astonished me. “Truly?”
“She didn’t want to waste you on me, you know. I spent weeks convincing her I deserved a second chance. ”
I shivered, imagining how different my life might be if he’d failed to persuade her. “I’m glad she agreed. But that’s not what I asked. ”
“I’m prolonging the suspense. ”
Smiling, I set a hand on his chest, which made him draw a sharp breath. “Tell me. ”
“For me, it started when you let me put my arm around you on the way back from Nassau. So many girls in the enclave treated me like I was a filthy savage, one step away from killing all of you in your sleep. ”
“You must’ve wanted to, sometimes. ”
“Not after I met you. I felt…” He paused, as if struggling to find the words. “Like you needed me a little, as if you might let me in. But as for the moment when I really fell … we’d just opened a can of cherries and you licked them from my fingers. Then you looked at me like I was every wonderful thing in the world. And I thought, I’d give anything for her to feel that way forever. It just about killed me when I imagined that you preferred Stalker. ”
I shook my head quickly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t understand, whereas you remembered your parents … and how they were together. I wish I hadn’t hurt you while I was figuring things out. ”