***

  When I woke up, the sun was shining and I was sprawled out on the floor. I don't know what time it was but there was usually a bag of cookies and a glass of warm milk on the table when I got up. Today was different and fear consumed me because I remembered what Jock said before he left and now I was terrified all over again. I didn't want to die, not any more anyway.

  I heard the locks on the door and I stiffened and I grabbed the pissy mattress off the bed and dragged it to the corner and tried to cover myself. I heard the door open and Jock's voice.

  "You ready to leave?"

  I stayed still as a statue and prayed to the Almighty as tears flushed from my eyes. My tear ducts were depleted of salt water so my tears only wet my lids. The mattress was pulled away from me in one sweeping motion and I was cowering in the corner.

  "What you trying to hide for? I thought you wanted to leave, you changed your mind now?" Jock asked with a long barreled hand gun in his grip.

  I nodded my head because I was unable to talk. I felt like I wanted to defecate all over myself, the inside of my stomach was doing somersaults and my heart was playing steel drums in my chest. I felt like urinating and my legs were wet noodles under my weight. Without moving my head I let my eyes look up at Jock who had the evilest smirk on his face. He was no longer that drop dead gorgeous guy that I thought I may have fell in love with, he was my executioner. I questioned God and his reasoning for letting me perish in this way, I was taught never to question him but at this very moment I was at a complete lost. The gun was raised and my life came flying past my eyes, my eighth birthday when my mommy gave me a party at Chucky Cheese, my sixth grade graduation, my sweet sixteen at the Florentine Hall, my first kiss, the first time I made love, the day I received my A.A.S. in Sociology, my first time having sex...it was with Vic and the day I left him and took his toothpaste - that was so mean of me. A smile slowly emerged on my face like I was finally welcoming my fate. My time was up and there was nothing I could do. I closed my eyes and I saw brightness then heard a resounding boom. I felt my body fall sideways and then I heard another boom then silence.

  My eyes opened as I lay on the ground and I saw Jock's eyes staring at me. I gasped and looked up and Vic was standing by the door with smoke coming out the barrel of a gun he held tightly in his hand. He ran over to me and picked me up.

  "Come on Char, I'm taking you home!"

  He picked me up in his arms and carried me out of that room and I buried my face in his powerful arms.

  "Thank you God!"

  VICTOR

  I carried Char down the steps of that building and out into the alley where Infiniti truck was idling. I gently laid her in the backseat of the truck and then I quickly ran over to the driver's side and I jumped in. I put it in drive and pulled off through the alley headed for home. As I was driving I had so many questions for Char but I knew now was definitely not the time, she had just been through a lot and I got to here just in the nick of time. Had I been a millisecond later she wouldn't be here.

  "Who is that Vic?" Char asked when she finally sat up in the backseat.

  I looked in the rearview mirror at her. She looked and smelled terrible, damn!

  "Her name is Stacy." I kept it short as Stacy rolled down the windows. Char was stinking the truck up.

  She lay back down in the backseat and I looked over to Stacy and she smiled at me.

  "You can drop me at home now." She said to me and I nodded.

  Stacy and I were genuine friends although we both knew that at any given time I could smash if I wanted but we also knew that wouldn't happen because I was in love with Char. I couldn't thank her enough for her help though with finding my baby.

  When I went over to Gert's house that night she called, I had looked in every room and when I went back into the living room I forgot to check the closet and one of the guys was in there. I had a feeling it was a set up from Gert's phone call but I had to come to find out if Char was in trouble.

  The dude came out of the closet and never said shit, he just blasted me. Before he shot me I knew something was wrong by Gert's eyes but it was too late. The impact of the slug sent me flying into the wall and when I hit it I fell back but never dropped 'Nina'. While I lay on the floor I remained motionless on my back hoping the gunman would think the bullet flatlined me. I heard his footsteps coming near and I kept my eyes closed playing possum. I heard Gert screaming and the gunman yelling for her to shut up. Once I heard him yelling at her I could pinpoint just about how close he was to me then I opened my eyes and pointed 'Nina' up and let her spit four times into the chest cavity of the gunman. He was caught totally off guard and the slugs sent him flying backwards off his feet. He fell onto his back and the gun he was holding flew out of his hand. I jumped up quickly and ran over to the dying gunman. I kneeled down and grabbed him by his collar and threatened him.

  "Where is Char muhfucka!"

  He gurgled and spit blood from his mouth then coughed. I grabbed his face and placed 'Nina' in the center of his forehead and cocked the hammer.

  "I'm going to only ask you this one more time. Where the fuck is Char?" I screamed.

  He blinked then looked up at me and his eyes locked with mine and he nodded his head.

  "Come here." He gurgled and I could barely hear him as I bent down and he told me the address.

  I stood up and he closed his eyes then nodded his head again then I ended his life with a single shot to the center of his forehead. I looked at Gert who was holding her hands over her mouth trying not to scream.

  "You can call the police and tell them whatever you want just leave my name out of this. I'm going to get Char before that muhfucka kills her."

  I dug into his pocket then pulled out his phone. I scrolled to the messages and left the message he told me to write then I put his phone in my pocket. I walked out her house and immediately dialed Stacy's number.

  "Hello?"

  "Hey Stacy, I need another favor from you." I said as I jogged to the truck.

  "Another one of those huh?" She chuckled in the phone.

  "This is serious Stacy. I need you to see if you can take this number down and find it through a GPS locator."

  "Um, sure. Is everything all right Vic?" My tone must have been a dead giveaway.

  "I'm not sure but can you take care of that for me?"

  "I can but the only way I can do it is from the store and it's closed."

  "I need is ASAP. Do you have keys to the store?"

  "Yea, but..."

  I cut her off. "I'm on my way to pick you up." I hung up the phone and punched the gas.

  When I pulled up in front of Stacy's building she was already outside waiting. That's when I knew she was a real friend, no questions asked and she was ready to help me in a time of need. She skipped over to the truck and jumped in on the passenger side and I pulled off before she even closed the door.

  "That serious huh?" She asked as she looked at me.

  "Yea. Some faggot ass muhfucka kidnapped Char and I think he might off her because I wired his broke his jaw." I told her knowing it was going to open up a line of police questioning.

  "Kidnapped? Because you broke his jaw? Why...How? I mean what the fuck happened?"

  I looked over to her and I could tell she was genuinely concerned about what happened. I couldn't tell if it was prompted by how she felt about me or if she wanted to know just to see if she could find a way to weasel into Char's spot using any damaging information.

  "I caught Char talking to some lame and I gave him a pass and addressed Char but he wanted to play hero so he wore her ass whooping for minding my business, that was about a week ago. Tonight her homegirl called me and told me she was in trouble so I went over there and found out that duke kidnapped her on some bitch shit."

  "How you know she's kidnapped and just not there on her own?"

  I gave her a look like, "Come on man?" and she said, "What?"

  I pu
lled the truck in front of the T Mobile store and looked at her.

  "The number is (347) 555-5558."

  I knew she wanted to finish the conversation but finding Char was more important.

  "Repeat it again." Stacy said as she pulled out her phone and entered the number. "She has a T Mobile account right?"

  "Yea."

  Stacy exited the truck and went inside the T Mobile store while I waited anxiously for her to return.

  It was daylight when Stacy came back to the truck. She opened the door and jumped in.

  "It's pinging somewhere in Canarsie. I don't have an exact address but I have the area within a 250 yard radius."

  The address the gunman gave me was in Canarsie so I would honor his dying request which I will keep to myself but most definitely will carry out. A soldier's death is sacred. I pulled away from the store and stepped on the accelerator and the front of the truck lifted from the power and screeched down the street. I pulled out a brick of money, not sure how much and while keeping my eyes on the street I extended my right hand out to Stacy.

  "I know what you did could probably cost you your job." My eyes were steady on the road as I reached the speed of 50 mph on the local streets. "This is for keeping it real and holding me down." I dropped the money in her lap.

  "I don't want no money from you Vic." I knew she was staring at me but my mind was on dropping her off then rushing to Char. "Tell me what's going on. If I can help you in any way you know I will."

  I glanced quickly at her.

  "You just helped me Stacy. That money is a small thank you, it's not much but it's all I have on me right now."

  "That money don't mean shit to me Vic, keep it. What can I do to help you."

  I laughed as I made a right turn against the light.

  "You did enough. Now I'm going to drop you back to your crib."

  "If you don't mind, can I ride with you? I'm really worried about you Vic and um...your girl." Her hesitation showed me she had genuine feelings for me and that was cool but I couldn't deal with that. My mission was to get my first lady back to me safe and sound.

  "I don't have time to argue with you about this." I pulled the truck over and threw the gear shift in park. "Stacy, this is not a game and I need you to understand something." I was staring her in her eyes and my demeanor was deathly serious. "I'm not sure what's going to happen when I get over there and I don't want to put you in any danger but most importantly, I don't need to be worrying about you panicking or running your mouth to anyone about what happens over there. Do you understand what I'm telling you?" My eyes were piercing hers.

  "I understand Vic and I want to roll with you. I know who you are and what you do and I would never snitch or tell anyone anything 'bout nothing. You have my word on that." She said emphatically.

  I threw the truck in drive and pulled out into the light morning traffic again then looked at her quickly.

  "I like you but I will murk you if you a leaky faucet, you understand?"

  "Clearly. I'm riding with you because I want to help you get your girl back...by any means necessary." She pulled out her sidearm and showed it to me.

  I laughed to myself as I raced to the address given to me. I pulled up in front of a building and parked in the alley between the buildings. I checked 'Nina' to make sure the clip was loaded and before I jumped out the truck I looked over to Stacy.

  "Come on and get in the driver's seat. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, I want you to leave. No questions asked, you understand."

  Stacy nodded and I saw her jump out the passenger side with her gun in her hand. I smiled when I exited the truck and ran up into the building to get my first lady.

  I pulled up in front of Stacy's house and she got out the truck and I winked at her.

  "Thanks for holding me down Stacy. We'll stay in touch."

  "No problem Vic but now you owe me a favor." She winked then smiled. "I'm glad you got your lady back safe and sound." She turned to leave.

  "Thanks to you." I said then pulled off.

  VICTOR

  After Char disinfected that wretched odor she carried around, she came into our bedroom and sat down on the bed. I knew what she had been through and I didn't expect her to rehash it right then although I was eager to find out what happened. She looked at me and her eyes got glassy and it was obvious from all the overwhelming emotions she must have been feeling.

  "Victor." She started (she had never called me by my first name unless she was mad so this was different). "I love you so much baby and I'm so very sorry for what I've done to us."

  "Shhh." I stopped her by placing my finger over her lips. She pushed it away gently.

  "No baby, let me say this to you, please. I always knew you were good to me but it seems that I'm realizing it more now because of what happened. I can admit that I was looking for more from you because I was being spoiled and greedy. I know you love me Vic and I hope you know I love you just as much, if not more. You saved my life and when I was in that room I wouldn't blame you if you didn't because of how I carried you before all that shit happened. I am the cause of all the shit you've been through since I left and I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you. Vic, I want you to forgive me for being selfish and thinking only of myself, you are my king, my protector and the man I will love until I take my last breath. Thank you for not giving up on me when it looked like I had given up on you." The tears flowed freely from her eyes and she leaned over to me and buried her head in my chest as I held her close to where she belonged...my heart.

  My wife beater and part of my chest was fully saturated when she Char stopped crying. I held her at arm's length and my heart swelled. I loved my woman and was willing to do anything to prove it to her. I thought I lost her when she left but almost losing her permanently made me realize how unimportant material things are in a relationship and how important the person you love is. I would trade in everything I had to be with Char, including my money because that doesn't guarantee real love. My love for Char is infinite, my love for Char is unlike any love I've had for any woman I've ever met and the thought of not having her in my life only confirmed how strong my love is for her.

  I looked at my baby and I cried for the first time, as a man, that is something I thought we never did but I wanted to be in touch with my true feelings and I didn't want to hide them from her. I needed her to KNOW without any reservations that Victor Grant was in love with Charmaine Fulton. I was naked emotionally and I didn't give a fuck, there was no more fronting to this, the block had to wait, the money and my homies. Char was my first lady and my first priority.

  I got up from the bed and went over to the nightstand and pulled open the drawer. Char turned around and looked at me. When I turned around I was holding a four carat marquise solitaire. I got down on one knee and looked into my baby's eyes and I said to her:

  "I never knew what real love was until I fell in love with you Char. You have showed me how a woman loves a man and showed me how a man should love his woman. I never want to know what it's like not have to you in my life. I want to make you an honest woman and I promise to love you until the end of time...in life and in death. Char, I want to change your last name, will you marry me?"

  I was numb and all I heard was Char screaming YES. I put the ring on her finger as tears flooded her eyes. She squeezed me so hard around my neck and cried so hard in my shoulder. I love me some Char and she's my world and my life. Seeing her happy is everything I wanted and it's a small price to pay for eternal love. Try it.

  CHARMAINE

  So everything worked out for me but for the grace of God huh? This ring looks so beautiful on my finger. I got my man back and got engaged on top of that. It wasn't easy but hell, it was worth it. I love Vic and I always have but I have to confess something and before muhfuckas start judging me, let me just say this: "I have my man back and I'm engaged to be married. End of fucking story."

  I'm going to sound l
ike Usher Raymond when I start telling my confessions but here it is. First of all, I'm not pregnant, never was, I can't even have a baby. I already knew Gert was going to tell Vic, I didn't know when but I was sure she was going to tell him, that bitch can't hold water she never could so I banked on her telling Vic. Second thing, I did take Vic's money. I don't care about none of the names you 'bout to call me because I know why I took it. There's two reasons why I took it. Vic always put making money before me so I took it to make sure when I left that I would have some (I don't care what you say or think about me, it's called getting mine!) and the second reason was to see if losing his money would make a difference in how he treated me. The money is safe and sound in my mom's garage. I know I played a dangerous game and I'm sure I lost a lot of my female followers but I don't give a damn because what matters to me is the fucking results. In the beginning you should have known what type of bitch I was and what I was trying to do, shit I fucked him the very first night.

  No one can question my love for Vic because of the underhanded shit I plotted. You can't judge me because you're not me and you don't have a clue to what I've been through and what I'm feeling. I don't expect anyone to understand why I did what I did because if you can't then you don't love as hard as I do. I'm still young, I'm in my 20's so I don't think like an old woman, I think like a twenty year old. I'm going to make mistakes and the only way you learn is through experience so don't judge me for what I did with my man because it's my life and my man...not yours. Go look at your own life and tell me you didn't make no mistakes if you judging me right now. Like I said, I love my man and we are going to be married.

  Ok, what about me being pregnant right? I loss the baby when Jock had me in that room. The money? It's still in the family, we're getting married right? It was our money either way and it's still our money.

  No woman is guiltless in the things we do to keep a man or get a man. Some are more extreme than others, some admit to it (like me) and some keep it a secret. I'm real and there's no lying to me (to y'all not to Vic and it's supposed to be like that) because I'm willing to show what I am willing to do to keep a good man. Judge me if you want but never say what you won't do for love.

  VICTOR

  I knew I would lose my platinum player card in the hood for all the emotions I showed for a broad. The thing is this, I was raised watching the man I looked up to, my father, destroy my mom's life through violence - almost killing her. Her loyalty and love for him, despite his abuse and alcoholism showed me that love is a powerful emotion but when he maimed her permanently it made me realize his love couldn't have been more powerful than his love for alcohol or violence. See, people get love twisted, loving an individual is vastly different from loving a substance, place, thing or object because those things cannot return that feeling, it's one sided. If you put love in something other than a beating heart then it can destroy 'real' love and that's where a lot of men fail in their relationships. How you gonna love hanging out in the streets more than you love hanging out with your woman? How can you love money more than you love you lady? As a man, I learned how to love from my momma, she taught me how to love a woman because she is a loving woman. She never told me anything negative about my father because her love for him was genuine it's just that his love was distorted. She let me, as a man, make my own decision on what kind of man he was and when I questioned her she didn't bash him, she gave it to me raw and uncut and I learned to respect how love was portrayed through different individuals. Don't get me wrong, I have no respect for that man but what he did taught me how to treat a woman and taught me what not to do if you claim you love an individual.

  Me and Char are not the best right now. Most will say that she doesn't love me but I know for a fact she does. That's all that matters to me right now. I'm very disciplined and have poise and not the push over you may think I am. I pay very close attention to detail, I'm not the push over you may think I am. I run a million dollar drug operation, I've been targeted by so many muhfuckas but no one has been successful. I am sterile so I can't have babies (I play a fool but I'm not a fool), the money that was in my safe had a tracking device under a money band in every Ziploc bag (Les picked that money up days after it was stolen from the garage at Char's mom's garage) and I already knew who Jock was when I saw him because we found out the first guy I murked was his uncle's son. They were my connect and the deal I had with them was exclusive but they wanted to put someone in my spot because of the money I was making and I found me another connect and deaded them on my spot and as my connect. When Char got involved in all this shit I knew they was trying to smoke me out so me getting her was a two part deal because that's when I realized I truly loved her for real. I rescued her because of my love for her not because of the money. I know Money Can't Buy Love and that's what I have with Char no matter how fucked up and twisted it looks.

 
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