The steam floated up from behind the shower curtain and spilled over, filling the room with a thick, hazy warmth in minutes. I stood under the water, as hot as I could stand it, and tried to remember what Eli had said about being strong. I couldn't cry. Frivolous emotion would help nothing. Still, a heavy, portentous feeling settled over my entire body, weighing me down so much that the tile below my feet seemed to dig into my skin.
The more we learned, the worse it was. Preventing the prophecy was useless, because even if we succeeded, Hell wouldn't allow the possibility.
The shower knobs complained when I turned them off, strangling the pipes. I towel-dried my hair, and then wrapped my robe around me. When I pushed the door open, a ghostly cloud of steam followed me as I walked across my bedroom floor.
I sat at my vanity, raking a comb through my damp, messy hair. The sea of black birds at the church haunted my thoughts, and the crunching sound their bodies made as Jared carried me across the street replayed over and over in my mind.
"Don't forget about dinner with Ryan tonight," Bex said.
"He won't be here until seven," I said, glancing at the clock. I still had an hour left.
The main entrance door slammed in the lower level, and I heard not one, but two pairs of light footsteps ascending the stairs.
Jared stopped in the doorway of my bedroom. "Hey."
"Hey," I said. I kept my back to him, but met his eyes in the mirror.
Claire appeared beside him. "I heard."
The overly ceremonious door bell chimed throughout the house. Moments later, Agatha joined Jared and Claire in the doorway of my room. "It's a gentleman, Love. A Mr. Scott to see you."
I rolled my eyes. "He's early." I stood, tightening the belt of my robe, and then stormed through the path Claire and Jared made for me as they pressed their backs to the wall.
My bare feet tapped against the stairs as I quickly made my way to the spot where Ryan stood.
"You're early," I said, crossing my arms.
Ryan smiled, his eyes scanning every corner of the room. "I'm sorry. I'll wait."
"Agatha?" I called. When she didn't answer, I gestured for Ryan to follow me. "I'll show you to the Great Room," I said. Too late I remembered we had rearranged the furniture for our sparring matches.
"Redecorating?" Ryan asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Something like that," I said. "I'll just be a minute."
Ryan nodded, and I jogged up the stairs. Jared and his siblings stood in the center of my room when I returned, seeming nervous and out of place.
"It's just Ryan," I said. Once the words came out of my mouth, Claire's eyes widened, and she shoved me aside, pushing my bedroom door shut.
Her finger touched her lips, and she waited, keeping her hand against the door.
"Nina?" Ryan called, knocking twice.
"Yes?" I said, shrugging to Claire.
"I couldn't help but notice the Lotus Exige you have parked out front. New car?"
Claire's eyes squeezed shut, and then she looked at me again, shaking her head.
"Er...no...? I believe my mother has company this evening. I'll meet you downstairs, okay?"
It was silent for a few moments, but then Ryan knocked on the door again.
"Yes?" I said, unable to hide the irritation in my voice. I glanced back at Jared, hoping he would give a sign as to what I should do.
"Isn't that the same car Claire drove the night we first saw her at the pub?"
When Jared held out his arms and shrugged, I sighed. "I...can't remember, Ryan. Do you want me to get ready or not?"
"The thing is," he said, his voice just on the other side of the door, "I ran the plates, and it's registered to Claire Ryel."
For the first time, Claire looked nervous. She rubbed the back of her neck the way her brother rubbed his when things between us were tense. It struck me as funny, and a smile forced its way to the surface.
"It's not funny!" Claire mouthed silently. When I covered my mouth with my hand, a smile crept across her face as well.
"Uh...." I said, turning once again to Jared. He rolled his eyes, gesturing for us to somehow fix the mess we'd made. "She was here. She was here earlier helping me...er...pick out a dress."
"So she walked home?" Ryan said from the hall.
"No. No, she didn't," I said, stalling.
Claire desperately pointed at Jared.
"Jared took her home!" I said.
Ryan puffed. "Okay, but the Escalade is parked behind the Lotus."
"Shit!" I whispered, interlocking my fingers on top of my head. "He...took her home on his motorcycle."
Claire gave me a thumb's up, and I relaxed a bit, hoping Ryan would accept my story.
"Nina," Ryan said. "Could I talk to Claire for a minute? Just...just for one minute." The door handle moved, and Claire's hand instantly gripped around it, refusing to let it budge a millimeter more.
"She's not here, Ryan. I told you."
"Then open the door."
"I'm not dressed."
"I've seen you that way before."
Jared frowned, and I laughed once. "It's different, now."
"Claire?" Ryan said. "Can I talk to you? Please? I won't take up much of your time, I swear. I just need to, uh...wow," he chuckled, "I feel really stupid right now."
"You should, since she's not here," I said.
"Claire. Please?" he asked.
Claire leaned her forehead silently against the door. She bit her lip and sighed. "Go away, Ryan."
"Claire?" Ryan said, his voice excited. "Please open the door."
"Nina told me what you said. It's sweet, but...," she cringed, "you're crazy."
"I know what I saw," Ryan said, his tone notably less enthusiastic than before. "I know you were there."
"Right. I was in Afghanistan or wherever, sniping Al Qaeda, and carrying you over my back for miles. Sounds like me," she snapped.
"I just want to see you," Ryan said. "I need to see you to be sure."
Jared shook his head, and Claire's expression grew impatient. "Beat it, Ryan," she said.
After a short pause, Ryan hit the door with the side of his fist. "I'm not leaving until I see you!"
"What are you going to do?" Claire yelled, taking a step away from the door. "Wave your shiny badge around and impress us to death?"
"Open the door!" Ryan demanded.
"No!" Claire said.
"Fine!" he replied. "But I'm not giving up on you."
He stomped down the stairs and slammed the door.
Chapter Thirteen
Lesson
"I need the keys to your bike," Claire said, holding out her hand to Bex.
He frowned. "Why?"
"Because I have to follow him, and he knows my freaking car! Give me your keys!" she said, jerking her hand toward Bex, impatient.
In one swift movement, Bex handed his motorcycle keys to his big, little sister. She wheeled around, sprinting down the stairs.
"Don't forget the helmet," he called after her.
"Shove it!" she yelled before slamming the door.
I walked to my vanity, sitting hard onto the delicate pink cushion of the bench. "This is bad."
Jared took slow steps to stand beside me. "Ryan is the least of our worries."
"That makes me feel much better," I said.
Bex left us alone to sit on the stairs, and Jared pulled me from the bench to sit beside him on the bed. He didn't speak for a long time, lightly brushing the skin of my arm, from wrist to elbow, with his fingertips.
"Do you understand what could happen?" he said softly, his eyes still focused on my arm.
After a short pause, I took a breath. "Yes."
He meant my death. Dying at the hands of the most inhumane, cruel beings on three planes wasn't peaceful, in my sleep as I had planned, but it was an end. I wondered what would take place in that moment, and what ways Jared would suffer in the days following my death.
His eyes were dark, the s
kin around them tight, but tired. The helpless feeling surrounding us was suffocating.
"I know what Father Francis said," Jared said, his voice breaking. "But, I can't believe that. I have to see the book for myself to be sure. There has to be a reason our father's wanted it so badly. Gabe must have known there was a way to stop it.
"Stay with me," I said.
"I can't," he replied.
"Just for a while. Just until I fall asleep?"
Jared met my eyes, and I could see that he would let me win.
We lay together above the sheets, silent and thoughtful. I imagined Jared was carefully plotting a way around Donovan and Isaac in his mind, praying for a conclusion. Shax had stayed one step ahead of Jared--even Kim, his secret weapon--and he was frustrated.
Jared's arms tensed. Bex's light footsteps rushed down the stairs, and the door opened. After a few moments, another set, heavier, returned with him, and Kim appeared in the doorway, out of breath and wide-eyed.
Jared sprung from the bed, pulling on his jacket. "Stay with her, Bex."
"I should go," Bex said.
Knowing they were going to try to capture the book, I jumped from the bed, pulling on a pair of sneakers. "He should go. I'll go, too, and if anything happens, Bex can help."
Jared frowned while he made his decision. "Nina...."
"We don't have time for a lecture," I said. "You know you have a better chance if Bex is there."
He nodded, clearly conflicted. "Let's go."
The streets were filthy, lined with mounds of dirty snow. The Escalade flew at three times the speed limit, racing against the moment Shax realized we'd found him.
Jared slammed on the breaks in front of an old apartment building on the outskirts of town, and he and Kim rushed in. Bex was stoic, waiting patiently for a signal. My knees bounced nervously as I bit at my thumbnail.
"Here," Bex said, pulling a handgun from the back of his pants. "If I go in, keep this with you. The safety's on, so--,"
"Take it off before I fire, I know."
Bex smiled. "You'll be fine. Just don't go in."
The waiting was excruciating. The night was too quiet; the building too dark. I had expected immediate flashes of gun fire, and Jared and Kim to run out, with snarling, misshapen beasts in pursuit.
Bex picked at his nails, seeming bored, but patient. I checked my handgun again, making sure it was loaded and ready.
"We really need Claire here. We have to figure out how to get the three of us in the same room with Shax and keep you protected at the same time."
"You're just itching to get one in on him, aren't you?" I smirked.
"On Shax?" Bex said. "Jared's fought a hundred of 'em. They react to me the same way they do Kim. They won't come near me. It's irritating."
"Why?"
"I don't know, but it better not be because of my age, or anything like that. I'm ready," he sniffed.
"You are," I said, my voice absent of sarcasm.
Bex turned to me with a small smile, reminding me of his innocence. "Yeah?"
"Absolutely. How much time have we spent together, with Jared nowhere in sight? I'm the hardest Taleh case there is: dirty cops and demons after me day and night, and I don't have a scratch. Maybe they stay away because they're scared?"
Bex nodded, satisfied. "Yeah. Probably so."
Suddenly, Jared and Kim appeared, walking slowly from the back of the building.
"No go?" Bex asked as Jared slammed his body into the driver's seat.
"They were already gone," he seethed, his jaw muscles flitting under his skin.
"Shax is playing games with us," Kim said. "Otherwise he'd move it out of town...or out of the country. He wants you to doubt your judgment, and he's using me to bait you...wear you out."
"There has to be another way," Jared said, slamming the shifter into gear. "We're making the same mistakes."
"Are they all the same?" I asked.
Jared, Kim, and Bex turned in my direction.
"The books. Are they all the same? You said there were others. Is there another one we can get to? One that belongs to a demon that doesn't know we're coming?"
Jared and Kim traded glances.
"It's not a bad idea," Kim said.
"Waste of time," Bex replied.
"Nigh, Shax's book is the only one that we know of that has been brought to this plane. The others...we'd have to go to Hell to get," Kim explained.
"So that's out," I said.
"Unless," Bex began.
"No," Jared said, cutting him off.
"Unless what?" I said, touching Bex's arm.
"We could talk someone with access in to getting one."
Jared sighed. "No one is going to do that, Bex, it would start a war."
"Samuel would." A small, amused smile touched Bex's face.
"Enough," Jared said, pulling into Cynthia's driveway.
Kim stretched, and then patted my back side. "See you in class tomorrow."
I shook my head in disbelief. She was so unaffected by it all.
The headlight of Bex's motorcycle shuttered as Claire pulled into the drive. She was noticeably upset.
"What is it?" I asked, watching her place the bike on its kickstand.
She fidgeted, and then put her hands on her hips, looking down. Her long bangs fell into her eyes as she procrastinated. "I missed one."
"Who?" Jared said.
"Kit Anderson."
"That will be a problem," Jared replied.
I frowned. "Who's Kit Anderson?"
"Ryan's partner," Claire said, combing her hair back with her fingers, frustrated.
"You sure?" Bex asked, surprised.
"Ryan went to his house tonight," Claire said. "Donovan called while he was there. Anderson was only on the phone for a moment, but it was Donovan."
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
They all craned their necks at me.
Claire made a face. "What do you think, Nina? I've got to get rid of him."
My mouth fell open. "But it's Ryan's partner. He just lost his whole unit. You're going to kill his partner?"
"Better than you," Bex said, climbing onto his bike.
"Where are you going?" Jared said.
"Home. I need to check on Mom, make some calls."
Jared nodded, and then looked at me. "Let's get you inside. You're cold."
I looked down at my ensemble: a coat over my robe, and tennis shoes. I'd been in such a hurry to ride along, I'd barely dressed. "Okay," I said, following him inside. Jared had told me over a year ago that he could sense my feelings, but I would never get used to him noticing them before I did.
In my bedroom, I kicked off my sneakers and peeled off my coat, falling into the bed. Jared crawled into bed beside me, outlining my body with his. Sleep came quickly, despite the excitement of chasing after Shax.
It felt as if the moment I closed my eyes, I jerked awake, covered in sweat, screaming for my father. Jared held me, this time silent. There was nothing left to say that hadn't been said already. Reassuring me that it was just a bad dream was pointless.
"Coffee?" he said.
"No," I said, pulling on his shirt. "Don't leave me. Just...stay," I said between breaths.
He kissed my forehead, whispering sweet comfort in French in my ear. I didn't know what the words meant, but it was so soft and soothing, I was relaxed against his chest in moments.
I took in a deep breath, inhaling his incredible scent. A tingling traveled the length of my body, and I extended my neck to kiss the lobe of his ear.
"Nina," he warned.
"I miss you," I said, kissing tiny sections of his skin until I reached his lips.
"It's not a good time for us to--," he began, but I kissed him, cutting off yet another lecture.
"I don't care," I said, tears filling my eyes, "I need to forget. Just for a little while. Help me forget."
Jared returned my kiss, cautiously giving in. His soft, full lips worked against mine, but no
t in the way I wanted.
I pulled his t-shirt over his head, but when I tugged at the belt of my robe, he gently held my wrist. "Sweetheart...."
The frustration and fear finally boiled over, and I fell flat against his body, face down. My tears pooled between his chest and my cheeks.
Jared sat up, bringing me with him. "Don't cry," he said with a frown. "Please don't...." he trailed off, sighing at the messy sight of me. Finally he kissed me, leaning me tenderly against the bed.
I shamelessly took advantage of his moment of weakness before it passed. For the first time in months, we lost ourselves in each other. Not a single moment did I worry or regret, and neither did Jared...until it was over.
Peaceful against his skin, my head rose and fell with his deep breath. "Don't say it," I said with a smile.
"It's a little late to say anything," Jared said, kissing my hair.
"You know, the Christmas party is next weekend."
"I know," he smiled, beginning to relax.
I stretched. "I assume you've bought a suit."
"I did."
"I need a dress," I said, my brows pulling together.
Jared laughed, momentarily forgetting about anything but the mundane details of our normal life.
We giggled and snuggled until the sun filtered through the curtains, and then Jared walked across the room to dress. I turned on my side to watch him, propping my head with my hand. Knowing how many bullets and wounds he'd sustained in the last few years, his skin was flawless. Every inch of it.
"What are you plotting over there?" Jared asked, smiling.
"Absolutely nothing, I'm simply appreciating your form."
He pulled a pair of light blue boxer briefs up his legs and over his bare backside. "Is that so?"
I pulled the sheet across the room with me, hunting for something casual to wear to Brown.
"That's not fair at all. I should be allowed to appreciate as well," he smiled. That smile quickly faded as he pulled me behind him.
Bex knocked twice before walking in. "Geez! Really?" he yelled, closing the door.
"Knocking doesn't count if you just walk in!" Jared growled.
I backed into the closet, mortified.
The door opened again, and Jared sighed. "We are allowed privacy," he said, his voice low and angry.
"I've seen it all before," Claire said. "Hey," she smiled, poking her head into the closet. "You wanna hang out today?"
"Don't even think about it," Jared warned.
"She's learning, isn't she?" Claire snapped. "She's got to see it sometime!"
"She's not learning that," Jared said.
"You've got business today, anyway," Bex said.