Page 15 of Shameless


  “I’m so sorry.”

  “For what?” I asked, groaning as I sat up, holding the cover up over my chest. I wasn’t naked, but I was only wearing panties and a tank top that was a very thin material with no bra.

  “Can I sleep with you?”

  I stiffened, my mouth popping open as my cloudy brain took in his words. “What?”

  “In your bed.” I didn’t miss the way his eyes smoldered as his tongue ran out over his lips before he swayed to the side, clearly inebriated.

  “Didn’t work out with you and that brunette, huh?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow as I tried not to scowl as Beef’s words replayed in my head.

  He shrugged as he stepped closer to the edge of my bed, looking down at me. His eyes danced over the blanket as if he could see every inch of me underneath.

  “I told you she wasn’t the one I wanted, but you didn’t listen.” His lips twisted up in a smile, dimples settling deep into his cheeks as he laughed off the comment playfully. “Are you going to make me sleep on the floor like a dog?”

  I stared up at him, wondering if he was sincere.

  “Well?”

  “I’m thinking.”

  His smile broadened as he ran his fingers through his hair.

  I swallowed hard as I slid back against the wall. “Fine.” I lifted the cover beside me and waited as he pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor before he undid his pants and shoved them off as well.

  The bed dipped beside me, and I tried to press myself further into the wall to keep from touching him, but he apparently didn’t care as he slid closer, laying his head on the edge of my pillow, so his breath fanned against my cheek as I stared up at the ceiling.

  “So... why are you sorry?” I asked, trying not to sound nervous as my heart felt like it was ready to explode.

  “What?” he whispered in my ear, his voice low, causing me to shiver.

  “You said you were sorry when I told you who my roommate was. Why?”

  He laughed quietly as he propped his head on his hand, his other pressed against my stomach. I stiffened as the pad of his finger slid absentmindedly over the bare flesh between my top and panties sending shockwaves throughout my body.

  “You remember the first time we met?” He asked.

  How could I forget? I was reduced to a bumbling idiot while I drooled over him. I nodded, unable to think of anything but the swirling in my stomach, directly below his touch.

  “I was leaving Laney’s room and ran into Seth and his mates. He accused me of shagging Addy, which is completely ridiculous.” His fingers stopped for a second as if to punctuate his statement before his fingers began to draw imaginary designs against my flesh again. Part of me wished he had a pen in his hand so I could see the design he was drawing in his mind.

  “What happened?” I asked, my own voice coming out raspy as I struggled not to squirm against his touch. It felt as though my skin was on fire, his fingers dragging the flame. I kicked my feet, pulling the blanket off of me. His eyes skated down my body as his tongue ran over his lower lip.

  He shrugged as his eyes settled on my stomach, his fingers now tracing along the edge of my panties. I let my eyes flutter closed, my teeth digging into my lower lip. His touch was light enough to tickle but the need for him to continue caused me to force myself to hold perfectly still.

  “Seth and I got into a fight. Addy took her anger out on Laney and had her room changed. I had no idea she would end up with you.” He laughed quietly having no clue what I’ve had to put up with since she’d moved in.

  My eyes shot open. “You’re the reason he had those stitches above his eye. You owe me. You have no idea what I’ve had to put up with.”

  “How can I make it up to you?” He asked as his palm slip over the scant fabric and over the top of my thigh before he slowly drug it back. The humor had left his eyes, and I suddenly felt naked below him.

  “You can stop touching me like that,” I mumbled as I made a half-hearted attempt to get out from under his hand, Beef’s words replaying in my mind like a warning.

  “Like what?” he asked, feigning innocence. “We touch like this all of the time when we dance.” His hand slid down my leg again before he drug his fingers slowly back up my inner thigh. My body betrayed me as my legs parted slowly. He sucked in a quick hiss between his teeth.

  I let out a quiet gasp that sounded deafening in the small room. “We shouldn’t do this,” I whispered in a rush.

  He sank lower, his lips against the shell of my ear. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, but all I could do was shake my head as his palm flattened over my ribs, sliding downward causing my hips to raise reflexively. “What do you want?” he asked again as I squeezed my eyes closed. Stop. Never stop.

  He moved his lips from my ear to over my mouth as I tipped my head back, ignoring the voice deep in my subconscious screaming for me to put an end to this.

  “What do you want, Henley?” he asked again, urgency in his voice as his fingertips inched closer to where I desperately craved his touch.

  “You,” I sighed shamelessly.

  “Then why did you try to set me up with that girl at the bar?” The passion that had laced his words was now gone replaced by a slight annoyance that made me feel embarrassed.

  “What?” I asked as I slowly opened my eyes, grabbing at the blanket and pulling it up over my body.

  “Why?” He asked again, his hand resting on one of my thighs as he squeezed gently.

  “I’m not –” I stammered. “We’re friends.”

  “Even you aren’t that good of a liar, love.” He pressed his lips against my forehead before he lowered his head to the pillow.

  ***

  On Monday, the beginning of the second eight-week session, I managed to take myself to most of my classes even though my mind was preoccupied with Lucas who had disappeared before I’d woken. At lunch, we all met at Smokey’s for burgers, and I struggled to pretend my stomach wasn’t doing summersaults when he sat next to me. The thought of him sleeping with Beef’s girlfriend was playing over in my head on an endless loop, not to mention the intimate moment we’d had in my bed the night before that ended so abruptly. Would I have let him take things further? Why didn’t he want to take things further?

  “Here is to what will be the best Halloween party this college has ever seen,” Noah said, holding up his beer. I held up my diet coke, clinking it against his bottle as I adjusted my sunglasses.

  “It’s so bright,” I mumbled. Lucas put his arm around my neck and pulled me close to him. As much as I wanted to pull away, my body melted against his, relishing in his touch.

  “How about tonight we get some takeaway and stay home? Let our little party animal have a break,” he said, kissing the top of my head. I stiffened, wondering if anyone else could tell how crazy I was going on the inside.

  “I’m supposed to meet that Derek guy from Kappa Sig again tonight,” Gigi protested.

  “I'm all right,” I said, waving away their worries but I felt like I could sleep for a month.

  “How about tonight we find someone for our little Henley to take home,” Noah teased.

  Lucas’ arm stiffened, pulling me closer to his side.

  “No.” I waved my hands again. Gigi snorted, and the boys all turned their heads in her direction.

  “What?” Lucas asked as she drank from her cup, not meeting any of their eyes.

  “Nothing,” she replied as I kicked her under the table. She didn’t know much about my past, but she wasn’t stupid, and we had been friends long enough that she noticed that I always went home alone... that is until I met Lucas.

  “What? She doesn’t hook up?” Noah asked. Gigi took another sip from her soda as their eyes slowly went from her to me. I sank down lower in my seat. “Henley, are you...a lesbian? We can hook you up with Laney. I wouldn’t mind watching that.”

  I threw a French fry at his face.

  “It’s settled. Henley and I are eating in tonigh
t.” Lucas’ phone began to ring, and he excused himself to take the call outside.

  “Don’t you mean eating out?” Noah replied crudely. I groaned, shoving a fry in my mouth.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  LUCAS

  We walked hand in hand toward the shops over on Main Street to pick up supplies for the Halloween party we were throwing. The plan was to charge a dollar a drink to help us pay the bills for the next month as well as a contest with a cash prize to get more people to come.

  “What fancy dress are you going to wear to the party?” I asked, my eyes dancing over Henley who was walking slower than usual.

  She shrugged, scrunching up her nose. “I don’t think I’m going to wear a costume.”

  “What? You have to dress up.”

  She glanced up at me and even behind her sunglasses I could tell she’d rolled her eyes.

  “What are you going as?”

  “The sexiest man alive,” I quipped.

  Without missing a beat, she replied, “You’re going as Beef? Want to borrow a pair of my panties?”

  “No one is going to see your knickers but me.” I wrapped my arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground as she giggled loudly.

  “Keep dreaming.”

  “I thought maybe we could coordinate our outfits,” I said as I set her down on her feet.

  “Like Dumb and Dumber?”

  I stopped walking and turned to face her. “Like boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  Her smile fell as she slowly shook her head. “Is that the most terrifying thing you could come up with, a committed relationship?”

  “I’m serious. I want you to be my date... officially.”

  “Why?” Her eyebrow rose as she crossed her arms over her chest.

  I shook my head, sighing. “Are you that daft?”

  “If you’re trying to blow off some clinger, you’re not going to use me to do it. You’ll just have to tell them you’re not interested like a normal person. Be rude. It’s the American way.” She began walking again toward the store leaving me shaking my head.

  “I can see that,” I replied, shaking my head. “I’m trying to talk the guys into a bonfire night for the fifth of November.”

  “I don’t know if having a bunch of drunk guys around fire is a very good idea.”

  “It’s tradition. Remember, remember the fifth of November. Ring any bells? Guy Fawkes Night?”

  “Sorry.” She glanced up at me again with a shrug before she smiled. “Are you missing home?”

  I pulled open the store door and waited for her to slip inside before following behind her. “It would just be something fun to do.”

  “Okay. I’ll see if Gigi wants to help me make something to bring.”

  “It’s a date.”

  “Not a date,” she mumbled as she walked toward the decorations.

  ***

  I was carrying three bags worth of miscellaneous items, and Henley was far from done shopping. Her eyes danced over the merchandise, lighting up when she found something she deemed cute or adorable.

  “We should at least get a trolley if you’re going to keep shopping.”

  She glanced back at me, a smirk on her lips. “I forgot how fun Halloween can be. It’s a chance to pretend you’re someone else.”

  “And who do you want to be... besides my date?”

  She sighed, her fingers lingering on a fabric tablecloth adorned with skulls. “Maybe a princess or a queen. What do you think about Marie Antoinette?”

  “Brilliant. I could be Count Fersen.”

  She gave me a sideways glance, her cheeks darkening as she continued to look through a rack of costumes.

  “What’s it like in London?” she asked as she continued shopping.

  “Halloween?”

  “In general.”

  “It’s different,” I responded. “You ever been?”

  She laughed, shaking her head. “No. I’ve never been out of the U.S.”

  “Maybe you could come visit me sometime.”

  She glanced back over her shoulder, her smile faltering as she nodded once. “Maybe.”

  “Is something bothering you?” I asked as I placed my hand on her arm. She turned to face me, her gaze dipping to the floor before she looked back up at me again. “You’re normally rambling on, and now I can barely get two words out of you.”

  “Promise you won’t be mad?”

  “I can’t promise that if I don’t know what is wrong.”

  “It’s about Beef.”

  I tried to hide my immediate irritation. “Did he hit on you?”

  “What? No!” She laughed away my question, and I relaxed. “Then what did he do?”

  “Not what... who... and not him.” She shook her head, tucking her auburn hair behind her ear. “You. He said you slept with his girlfriend.”

  “He told you that?” I yelled a little louder than intended, causing Henley to take a step back. “When?”

  “It’s true?” She swallowed hard before turning back to the rack.

  “I didn’t know him then, and I had no idea Payton was just trying to get revenge.”

  She spun around, the color draining from her cheeks as her mouth popped open in shock. “You did sleep with Payton. You’re such a liar!”

  “No, Henley. I didn’t lie to you. That happened a long time ago.”

  “You must think I’m such an idiot.” She shook her head before slipping between the racks and out the door.

  “Henley,” I called after her, but as I got to the door, the alarm began to chime from the unpaid items in my hand. All I could do was call her name again as she disappeared down the sidewalk with security at my side.

  ***

  After paying for our items, I called Henley six times, but she ignored them all. Walking back to the flat, I thought of confronting Beef. Why would he tell her something like that? Was he trying to get back at me for what I’d done? Did he think I shagged Payton the other night when she helped me home?

  As I pulled open the front door, I stopped, my eyes dancing over Henley who was sitting on the third step. I could tell she had been crying.

  “Henley, I’m sorry,” I whispered. She waved her hand to dismiss my apology as she stood, clearing her throat.

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about. Ready to go set up for the party?” Her smile was forced, and it made me feel like even more of an arsehole that we had fooled around last night. She must have been told this information before I’d touched her, but she didn’t stop me. Did she think it wasn’t true? Was she giving me the benefit of the doubt and I had proven that I really was the bad guy she had judged me as when we first met?

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  “Do what?” Her eyebrows pulled together as she ran her fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ears.

  “Pretend I didn’t hurt you.”

  “Hurt me?” She made a face before rolling her eyes. “To be hurt, I’d have to care.” Ouch. It was fitting that her words were eerily similar to something I’d said to Payton. “I just don’t like giving Payton any more reason to be a jerk to me.”

  “She is jealous of you.”

  She scoffed, shaking her head. “You’re not as good of a liar as you think.”

  “I’m serious.” I took a step closer to her, sighing in relief when she didn’t recoil. “I don’t know why he told you those things. But I swear to you I didn’t know who she was to him or I would have never gone near her.”

  Her eyes snapped to mine, narrowing. “You still go near her.”

  “Not like that.”

  Her eyes held mine for a moment before she shook her head and turned to make her way up the stairs.

  My mobile began to vibrate in my pocket as I followed behind her. I ignored it, but I knew it would only be a few minutes before they called again.

  Setting the bags on the counter, I answered it just as it began to go off.

  “I’m busy,” I groaned, pinching the br
idge of my nose as I watched Henley unload the items we’d bought.

  “Too busy for me?” Amelia scoffed.

  “Of course not.”

  “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take another day of my mum. She is driving me mad.”

  “You say that every time you call,” I laughed. “You’re going to get on a plane by yourself and fly around the world when you can barely navigate the tube?”

  “I’m not helpless, thank you very much. And I won’t be alone. Taryn will join me. It was her idea. She’s in need of a holiday.”

  I shook my head as I ran my fingers through my hair. “You’d just be sitting in my flat all day. D’you know what I mean? It wouldn’t be very fun. Besides, I was thinking of coming back over break.”

  “That’s what you said about the last break, and you didn’t come.” She was silent for a moment. “We’ve always talked about me coming to see you. Did you already forget about me?”

  “You’d never let me. You call every five minutes.”

  “Have you spoken to him yet?” She asked, refusing to speak his name.

  “That’s not what this is about.”

  “You’re a terrible liar. We both know you didn’t go all the way to the states for uni. Just get it over with already and come home, so I don’t have to spend the little money I have on a plane ticket.”

  I closed my eyes as I exhaled loudly. “Soon.” As I opened my eyes, they landed on Henley who was staring at me. She smiled nervously, glancing down at the floor when she realized she was staring.

  “I’m going to hang the banner,” Henley grabbed a roll of tape and walked toward the wall behind the couch.

  “Who was that?” Amelia asked.

  “A friend. I have to go. We’re decorating for a party.”

  “Is this friend the reason you don’t come to see me?”

  I groaned, rubbing my palm against my face. “Soon. I promise.”

  “Two peas?” She asked like she always did when we said goodbye.

  “One pod.” I ended the call and slid my mobile back into my pocket.

  ***

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  HENLEY

  We were on our fourth round of shots as we played a racing video game. In between races, I shoved Lo Mein noodles from Chop into my mouth to help counteract the alcohol that was already causing my body to buzz.