Page 24 of Shameless


  I looked over at Rhys biting the inside of my cheek. It had taken everything to get him to come here, and I knew he wasn’t enjoying himself. I couldn’t blame him. If he had lied to me, I’d be cautious too.

  “Looks like Lucas is doing good without his wingman,” I said, glancing over at the Harper. He was whispering in her ear, and she was giggling.

  “Yeah... she’s been hanging around a lot.”

  My stomach twisted. “That’s great,” I lied.

  “What the hell. Let’s go out.” Rhys smiled. Gigi looked at me as if I was visiting from another planet.

  “Really?”

  “Why not?” He asked before taking a long swig from his beer.

  “Great. I guess we will see you both around nine?”

  “Sure,” I sighed, smiling over at Rhys. Gigi made her way back across the room as everyone stared at her expectantly. She told them the news, and they all yelled and cheered, everyone except for Lucas. He glanced my way then squeezed his date tighter to him.

  ***

  I had practically emptied my closet on my bed. I could not find anything suitable to wear out drinking that Rhys would approve of. It was times like these I really missed Gigi. I settled on an old pair of tight torn up jeans and a small t-shirt that hugged my body in all the right places.

  “Well, this is fun.” He said, eyeing my outfit. “I should change.” He was wearing a button-up shirt and khaki pants.

  “You look great. I don’t think we will be out late or anything.” I leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled back to look at me, his eyes narrowed.

  “There isn’t anything I should know before I go out with your friends, is there?”

  “What?”

  He shrugged, rubbing his jaw as he shook his head. “Nothing.”

  Chapter Forty

  LUCAS

  “How does this look?”

  I glanced up at Harper who was trying on her third dress of the evening. This one was a short black strappy thing that left little to the imagination. “It looks good. They all look good.”

  She groaned, shaking her head before she flopped down on the bed beside me. “Are you going to mope like this all damn night?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You could tell me if something is bothering you, ya’ know.”

  “I know.” I sat up, scrubbing my face with the palm of my hand. “I just don’t feel like going out tonight.”

  “We can stay in and watch a movie or something. I’m sure the guys can have fun without you for one night.” She laughed, but it died in her throat when I didn’t perk up at the idea. “Come on. You’re so boring,” she groaned. “The last time you looked like you were remotely having fun was my birthday, and that was weeks ago.”

  “I’m just tired.”

  “Whatever.” She pushed from my bed and grabbed my arm to pull me up. “You still owe me for getting my fired.” She put her hands on her hips, her comically large, chocolate eyes narrowed.

  “You got your job back, and I never asked you to rub her boyfriend’s todger. I’m kind of hurt. I thought that was just something you did with me.”

  She let out a small laugh as she shook her head. “It looked like he was ready to propose. I had to improvise.”

  “Seriously?” My eyes snapped to hers, and she immediately looked to the floor like she didn’t mean to let that piece of information slip. “She looked terrified. And to be honest, he didn’t seem to mind my hand on his junk, if you know what I mean.”

  “Is this supposed to make me feel better?” I asked, tossing my hands in the air.

  “What I’m saying is, he isn’t good for her. You can’t let her end up with that guy.”

  I shook my head, but I knew she was right. Rhys wasn’t the guy she should be with. But if I was really honest, I knew it wasn’t me either. “It’s not my decision to make.”

  “I give up.” Harper threw her arms in the air and stormed out of my room. There was a knock at the door, and she continued on to answer it. I heard her whispering something and Laney making a noise out of frustration.

  “Wipe the sand out of your vagina and get your ass ready,” Laney yelled from down the hall before she perched herself in my bedroom door. Her blonde hair that brushed her shoulders now had a bright streak of blue framing her face.

  “What is it with you and vaginas?” I groaned as I grabbed a shirt from my dresser and pulled it on.

  “I want to go out and have some fun.” She folded her arms across her chest as her lower lip jutted out in a pout the way Amelia used to do whenever she was trying to convince me to get into trouble. It never took too much convincing.

  I hadn’t spoken to her since she revealed she wasn’t really my sister. With everything going on with Henley, she was the one person I wanted to confide in. I felt completely and utterly alone. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest in two equally crumbling pieces.

  “I told you that you didn’t have a choice,” Laney said as she sank down on the edge of my bed. “You can’t fight it, it only makes it hurt more.”

  “I’m not in love if that’s what you’re implying.” But the twisting in my gut and sharp pain in my chest made me question if I even knew what that meant. Love was supposed to feel comforting and warm, but that wasn’t what I felt at all. I felt empty. This wasn’t love.

  “You can’t hurt without caring. You can’t hate without loving. And you damn sure can’t lie to me without me seeing through your bullshit.” Her eyebrow rose as she fought against a smirk. “Come on, Lucas. I know you. And I know what heartbreak looks like. I’ve been there.”

  “How do you make it stop?”

  “You either keep fighting for what you want, or you choose to stop caring altogether.”

  “How much alcohol does that take?” I asked, eliciting an eye roll from her.

  “She’s right. If you don’t do something about it, you’re just going to keep being miserable. And I hate to break it to you, but you’re not much fun anymore,” Harper added.

  “I didn’t realize I was supposed to be your dancing monkey,” I shot back as I traipsed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of liquor from the shelf. I poured a few shots, sloshing the amber liquid on the counter before tipping one to my lips. Laney reached out to pick up a glass, and my hand shot out, grabbing her wrist. “Get your own.”

  She snarled before mumbling some expletives and going around the counter to get her own glass.

  “What is bothering you? That she didn’t pick you or that she may have never wanted you in the first place?” Laney asked before swallowing her drink and slamming the glass down on the counter.

  “Way to kick a man while he’s down.”

  “Oh, cut the bullshit. You were the biggest player on this campus and for once you’re feeling exactly what it’s like to be on the other side of things. It doesn’t feel that great, does it?”

  “I never used anyone.”

  “Perry Cramer,” she snapped, eyeing me hard as I struggled to remember who that was. She groaned as she refilled our shots. “Seriously? Perry Cramer, the girl who would doodle your name like a freaking kindergartner all over her notebook?”

  “I didn’t use her. She used me, and if I remember correctly, she enjoyed it.”

  “Until you never called her again.”

  “I lost her number,” I shrugged.

  “She’s in like three of your classes!”

  “She had nine toes, and she snored,” I yelled.

  “Like nine toes total or...?” Harper questioned as I refilled our drinks, shaking my head.

  “Look, I didn’t like her like that. Was I supposed to just give up on life because she was too clingy?”

  “No, all I’m saying is learn something from this. Maybe Henley just didn’t like you that way, and you can’t force her to choose you, no matter how much it hurts.”

  “She does.” My eyes met Laney’s. “I know she does.”

  “Then why aren’t you fighting for her??
??

  “Because I have nothing to offer her.”

  “Trust me, if this girl likes you, then she doesn’t care what kind of job you have or where you’re from. She just wants you to prove it to her.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  HENLEY

  Filly’s was packed as usual, and the crowd spilled out into the parking lot. Rhys took the long way around them as we made our way to the front door.

  “We can leave whenever you want,” I assured him as I pulled open the door. The music pounded through my chest, and I held Rhys’s hand as we made our way across the dance floor. Gigi and the guys were already at the bar doing a round of shots.

  “Gigi,” I yelled, tapping her on the shoulder. She spun around and wrapped her arms around my neck.

  “Let’s get you a shot!” She smiled, and I glanced back at Rhys.

  “I’m just going to go use the restroom.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek before leaving. I turned back to Gigi, who was looking at me through narrowed eyes.

  “What?” I asked as she grabbed two shots from the bar and handed me one.

  “What the hell is with that guy?” She asked, slamming back her drink. I drank mine, and it burned more than I remembered.

  “He’s a nice guy,” I said flatly.

  “Exactly.” She laughed. A pair of massive arms wrapped around my waist from behind and lifted me into the air in a bear hug.

  “Henley,” Beef yelled, and I squealed as he squeezed me tighter. “How’s my girl?”

  “Beef,” I giggled, and he set me back down. I spun around and gave him a hug. Noah followed suit and hugged me but with less enthusiasm. We all drank another shot as I looked around the room. “Where’s Lucas?” I asked.

  “He’s –” Beef began, but Lucas’ face appeared behind him.

  “I haven’t gone anywhere.” He grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Hello, love.” He nodded. “You remember Harper.” He threw his arm over her shoulders, and I struggled not to show any response.

  “Nice to see you.” I smiled. “Another shot?” I asked, and everyone erupted around me. We slammed back two as I finally saw Rhys coming back across the floor. I realized I may have had a little too much too quickly. “Rhys,” I yelled, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pushed me back, looking at my face in confusion.

  “How much have you had already?” He asked. Beef walked up beside me and put his arm over my shoulder.

  “She can handle it, trust me.”

  “Rhys, this is Beef.” I giggled at his name. Beef rolled his eyes and squeezed my neck slightly harder.

  “I’m sorry, did you say –” Rhys began. Beef stuck out his hand in front of him.

  “Beef. It’s a... family name.” He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, and I laughed again. Rhys took his hand, but he didn’t seem amused.

  “Enough of this. Let’s dance,” Gigi called from behind me. Everyone headed over to the dance floor leaving Rhys and I standing awkwardly alone.

  “I think I’d like to sit down for a bit.” He yelled in my ear over the music. I began to sit next to him on a bar stool but Gigi grabbed my arm.

  “Oh, no you don’t! I need a dance partner!” She smiled and pulled me away. I shrugged my shoulders at Rhys, and he nodded and smiled, but I could tell he wasn’t enjoying this side of me. We made our way through the crowd as a new song began. I shook my hips with her, and it had felt just like old times. That was until I spotted Lucas out of the corner of my eye. Harper had her hands wrapped around his neck, and they were grinding their hips together. Gigi caught me staring and grabbed my hand, twirling me around in front of her.

  “He looks happy,” I yelled in her ear. She shrugged and kept dancing.

  “She’s been around a lot lately,” she yelled back.

  “At the house?” I quit moving and was just waiting for answers. She nodded, gauging my reaction. “He never takes girls to the house anymore.”

  I frowned. She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed my waist, making me dance with her again.

  “Because he had you. But you stopped coming around.”

  “He never had me.” I glared at her, letting her know whatever she was trying to imply wasn’t something I wanted to talk about.

  “What’s with that Rhys guy?” She made a face, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “He’s a good guy.” I shrugged.

  “You said that already.”

  I turned around and looked at Rhys as he sat talking on his cell phone.

  “I can trust him,” I added with a nod. Noah moved up beside us, dancing along as we swayed our hips.

  “What up, Henley? How’s the husband?” He joked, nodding in Rhys’s direction. I smiled and nodded my head.

  “He’s a good guy,” I yelled over the music. Noah made a sour face.

  “Sounds boring!”

  I smacked his arm and rolled my eyes.

  “Come on, guys. I thought you wanted me to get with someone?” I looked back and forth between them, and they just stared at each other like I’d missed out on their private joke.

  “I’m going to get us some shots. You aren’t laughing nearly hard enough at Beef.” Noah smiled and made his way to the bar next to Rhys. I could see them talking and I became worried he would make Rhys feel out of place. Noah had always been a little hard to deal with.

  After another song had finished Noah and Beef came over carrying shots for all of us. I glanced over at Rhys who was busy typing away on his phone.

  “He didn’t want one. Fucking lightweight.” Beef said, rolling his eyes. I smacked him on the arm causing some alcohol to spill out of one of the shots. “Woah! Party foul,” He teased. Lucas walked up behind me and reached around my waist, grabbing a shot and slamming it back. He looked at me, his face inches from mine as I stared ahead. The smell of his soap took me back to the nights I used to cuddle with him. His hard chest rubbed against my back, and I stiffened, not wanting to relax against him. I grabbed a shot from Beef’s hands and slammed it back without blinking an eye.

  “Have you seen Laney?” Lucas asked Beef who shook his head in reply.

  “I think she left.”

  “How have you been?” Lucas’ breath blew warmly against my neck.

  “Good,” I muttered, my teeth digging into the inside of my cheek.

  “Good,” he replied and backed away from me. I let out a deep breath and turned around to face him.

  “Where’s Harper?” I asked, glancing around.

  “She had to go home. She works tomorrow. She got her job back at Swank,” He added but didn’t elaborate. “I’m going to get another shot. You want one?” He asked, taking the shot glass from my hand. When his fingers brushed against mine, I could feel the electricity between us.

  “Sure.” I nodded, and he headed over to the bar next to Rhys. I watched them chat for a moment, wondering what Lucas could possibly be saying to him.

  “Why don’t you guys just knock this shit off already? We miss hanging out with you,” Gigi yelled in my ear. “It’s obvious you guys fucking like each other.” My cheeks burnt red.

  “He doesn’t freaking like me, Gigi.” I stared at her hard, wishing I had not brought up the past.

  “He thinks you deserve better,” she said seriously.

  “Did he say that to you?”

  “He didn’t have to.”

  “Then why hasn’t he tried to be a part of my life? It’s been weeks.”

  “Maybe he has other things going on in his life. He hasn’t been himself lately.”

  “Besides drinking?’” I scoffed, earning me a glare.

  “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

  “I can’t.” I turned around to look over at Lucas and Rhys. Lucas had his back against the bar and was looking in my direction. I smiled nervously, and he grinned back.

  “I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to fight Rhys to the death for you.” Gigi laughed. I rolled my eyes at her.

  “Rhys isn’t that ki
nd of guy.”

  “He wouldn’t fight for you?” She asked, and I didn’t have an answer. Lucas patted Rhys on the back and made his way back across the room.

  “Here.” He held out a shot for me and one for Gigi. “Rhys said he needs to go.”

  I pouted, not ready to leave just yet.

  “I told him I would make sure you got home safely.” He smiled in that devilish way that gave me butterflies. I shot him a dirty look as Rhys walked over to us.

  “I got called in for a formation. Some asshole from Bravo Battery got a DUI.” He frowned, and I nodded. “Have fun with your friends. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, obviously annoyed.

  “Bye, Rhys,” I smiled as he walked away.

  “Bye, Rhys,” My friends yelled in unison and waved after him, making fun of me.

  “He kisses you like you’re his fucking Grandma, Henley. That’s hot. Have you let him play your violin yet?” Lucas laughed at his joke about my tattoo, and I jammed my elbow into his ribs causing him to choke on his shot. He’d obviously been partying a lot harder than the rest of us tonight.

  “Not all guys feel the need to fornicate on the dance floor.” I clenched my jaw before slamming back my drink.

  “I think the word you’re looking for is fuck and you’ve never complained before, love,” Lucas shot back, his tone no longer playful. I narrowed my eyes at him as he leaned in to whisper into my ear. “You want to dance with me, Henley?”

  “That’s Rhys’s job now.” My eyes burned into his, and he looked livid. He moved his face practically against mine until we were breathing each other’s air. He didn’t say anything, and I felt myself begin to wilt beneath his icy glare. He pushed passed me, and I let out the breath I hadn’t realize I had been holding. I stood in the middle of the dance floor fighting back the tears as I tried to figure out what had just happened.

  “Are you okay?” Gigi asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. I bit my lip and shook my head no.

  “I’ll take you home,” she whispered, and I followed her out of the club. Lucas sat on the curb just outside the front door, and he jumped up when he saw me.