Page 28 of Shameless


  I nodded, unable to speak because I would have broken down into a sobbing mess on the floor. I turned and grabbed my bag, tugging it onto my shoulder that already felt like it was precariously balancing the weight of the world. I left the violin that Lucas had given me on my bed, not wanting any reminder of him.

  “Henley,” she whispered. She shook her head, her mouth hanging open in shock. “I didn’t know. I swear.”

  I grabbed the door handle, and she stepped aside to give me room to exit. As I walked through, I turned around to look at her one last time. “For what it’s worth, I never thought I was better than you. I wanted to become just like you... and it looks like I have.” I turned and walked toward the elevator with a heavy heart.

  As I made my way across the parking lot to my mother’s beat-up car, I tried to pinpoint the moment that everything fell apart. I slipped into the driver seat and stuck the key in the ignition, frowning when I turned the key, but the battery only clicked a few times. “You can’t be serious?” I spoke aloud as I looked up to the roof. “Damn it,” I yelled as I slammed my palms against the steering wheel. I got out of the car and hurried back to the building wishing I had thought ahead to wear a sweater.

  I scrolled through my phone, taking a deep breath before dialing the only person I knew in the world who wanted to hear my voice.

  “Henley?” Rhys asked, relieved I had finally called him back.

  “Can you come here,” I said, waiting for his response.

  “I’ll be at your room in ten minutes.”

  I glanced down at my luggage. “No. I’ll meet you outside of my dorm.”

  “Fair enough.”

  I sat out front on the curb of the dorm waiting for Rhys to arrive. My heart was racing a mile a minute as I tried to figure out what I was going to say to him. When he arrived, I thought about running back into the building, but when I saw his face, I could not move. His eye was an unnatural shade of purple and his cheek was swollen to twice its normal size.

  “Oh my God,” I called out, pushing to my feet. He put up his hands to wave off my worry.

  “I deserved it. I shouldn’t have said all those things last night. Your friends just kept feeding me drinks. To be honest, I don’t really remember most of the night.”

  “They’re not my friends.”

  He smiled a little, and my stomach turned.

  “I know I don’t deserve it but –”

  “Anything.”

  “Can you take me home?”

  “Of course.” He jogged over to his car and pulled open the passenger door. I gave him a small smile and slid inside, struggling to hold back the tears as we took off, leaving the campus of Shame U behind us.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  LUCAS

  The incessant beeping of the machine attached to my father by tubes and wires was driving me mad. I hadn’t slept the entire night, and my phone had died three hours ago leaving me with nothing but the horrible memories of running out on Henley plaguing me.

  “You should go home, change, and shower. You don’t need to wait here with me.” My voice was gruff from the night of drinking and dancing and the knuckles on my hand throbbed from hitting Rhys.

  Harper placed her hand over mine. “I want to wait with you. I can’t leave you here alone.”

  Leaning back in my plastic chair, I stretched out my legs, struggling to relieve some of the tightenings in my muscles.

  “Do you want me to get you something to eat? I saw some vending machines down in the lobby?”

  She smiled sleepily and nodded her head. I patted her thigh before pushing to my feet with a groan and stretching my arms over my head before I slipped out into the hallway.

  Nurses and doctors were everywhere as well as other people like me, exhausted and unsure of what brought them to this moment in their lives.

  I pulled some cash from my pocket and fed the bills into the machines, getting us some drinks and a few different snacks. I had no idea what Harper liked, so I got her a little of everything.

  As I trudged back to my father’s room, a nurse was just slipping inside. I jogged to the door, grabbing it before it closed behind her.

  “Any news?” I asked. She turned to look at me, her eyes skating down my tattoos arms before she shook her head.

  “What relation are you to the patient?”

  “I’m...” I cleared my throat. “He’s my father.”

  She picked up his chart and read over it before she made her way to the machine. I handed the food to a grateful Harper as I shoved my hands into my pockets and paced in the small space at the foot of his bed.

  “He’s scheduled for another surgery. First of many,” her eyes met mine, and I could tell she didn’t relish in telling me the awful news.

  I nodded, chewing the inside of my cheek. “But he looks okay, right? You wouldn’t do surgery if you didn’t think he’d be okay, right?”

  She shook her head, exhaling loudly as she wiped the back of her hand across her forehead to swipe her bangs to the side. “I’m sorry. From here on out it’s going to be a waiting game. All we can do is try to fix what is wrong and hope his body is strong enough to fight on.”

  “Lucas, is there anyone we should call?”

  I nodded, running my fingers roughly through my hair. I felt like I was going to lose my mind. “I need to call my... Amelia.”

  Harper pulled her phone from her bag and handed it to me. “You can use mine. I’ll go back to my apartment later and grab a charger.”

  “Thanks.” I took the phone and slipped back into the hall. Before I could speak my sister was rambling in my ear.

  “I thought you were never going to talk to me again.”

  I closed my eyes, my head thumping. “Amelia, I didn’t know who else to call.”

  “What happened?” Her voice was laced with panic. “Are you hurt?”

  “No.” I shook my head as I struggled to find the words. My entire world had somehow crumbled around me.

  “Lucas, you’re scaring me. Please, just tell me what happened.”

  “Alex... my father was in an accident.”

  “Is he alright? Are you all alone?”

  “I’m not sure. Harper is with me, one of his employees.”

  “What can I do? What do you need me to do?”

  I thought about having her tell my mother, but after learning that she was the reason he’d abandoned me, I didn’t know if she’d even care. “Nothing you can do.” I sighed as I kicked at the baseboard that ran along the bottom of the wall. “I’ll call you when I know anything.”

  “Two peas?”

  Pinching the bridge of my nose, I replied, “One pod.” I nodded as I ended the call, unsure I’d be able to speak to her anymore without losing my mind.

  I dialed Beef, and his phone rang several times before Gigi answered angrily. “Who is this?”

  “It’s Lucas. I’m calling from a friend’s mobile. Put Beef on.”

  “Is that friend Harper?”

  “Gigi, I don’t have time for this. Just put him on.”

  “Oh, you don’t have time for this? Fine.” The line went dead.

  I cursed under my breath as I gripped the phone tightly in my palm, struggling not to throw it against a wall.

  I slipped back into the room, and Harper pushed to her feet as the nurse continued her routine around us.

  “They’re going to be taking him back any minute. She said it would be hours. You want to go to my place and shower? Maybe take a nap?”

  I glanced at Alex who was laying on the bed, his face nearly purple with cuts and lumps. There was nothing I could do for him here.

  “We’re going to have to go to the restaurant at some point and check on the day manager. She’s really good, but she’ll need you to sign off on some things. And... I know this may be asking a lot, but you need to go to Alex’s place and see if he has a will or anything like that.”

  I shook my head as I stared at my father. “All right.” I turned to
leave the room but stopped in the doorway. “You’ll call if anything happens?” I asked the nurse.

  The nurse nodded with a smile as I slipped out into the hallway and followed behind Harper to the car park.

  ***

  I sat in Harper’s car outside of Swank and stared at the front of the building. This was what his life came down to, an estranged child and a building catering to people who were nothing like him. It all seemed so pointless. All of his hard work may be ripped away by one tragic accident.

  “You want me to have her come out here?” Harper’s voice cut through my thoughts, and I turned to look at her. She smiled even though she was barely hanging on to consciousness.

  “No. I’ll go in.” I opened the car door and stepped out into the cool air. I didn’t even know my father, and now I was thrown into his world like the understudy of his life’s play.

  I crossed the car park, my eyes lingering on the empty space that usually held my father’s motorcycle before I slipped through the dense shrubbery and into the front door. The girl at the hostess stand glanced up at me like she had before and ignored me once again like I wasn’t worth her time or even a kind greeting.

  “The soup kitchen is two blocks down on McGregor Street.”

  With the lack of sleep and all I’d been through in the last twenty-four hours, I didn’t have any patience left. I walked around the hostess stand and across the restaurant floor.

  “Hey! Where are you going?” She called after me, but I didn’t bother responding as I pushed through the door on the other side of the room that led to the kitchen.

  There were several people preparing meals and a woman walking around with files in her hand, her brown hair thrown back in a messy bun.

  “Are you the day manager?” I asked, and her eyes cut to me.

  “Yes, My name is Alice. And you are?”

  I held out my hand for her. “I’m Lucas Young, Alex’s son.”

  “Oh, thank God.” She took my hand eagerly as she let out a deep sigh. “I am going kind of crazy here. How is he? Is he... I mean...”

  “He’s in surgery. That’s all I really know right now.”

  Her eyes lingered on my face for a moment. “You look like him.” The left side of her mouth lifted slightly. “I never even knew he had a son.”

  I nodded, forcing a polite smile. “What is it you need right now to make it through the day?”

  “I had a delivery coming in that needed to be signed for, but there was a mix up.” She groaned, shaking her head. “We’re going to run out of wine during the dinner rush.”

  “A wine shortage. You’re serious?”

  She nodded, her eyes wide with worry. I rubbed my palm against my jaw. “Fine. I’ll take care of it. What else?”

  “Harper didn’t come in today.”

  “I know. She’s with me.”

  She glanced up at me over the rim of her glasses like she was waiting for me to elaborate.

  “She’s helping me get my father’s... Alex’s affairs in order.”

  She nodded as she rubbed her lips together. It was as if she wanted to say something to comfort me but couldn’t find the words. “Okay. I’ll just call in Lisa. It’s her day off, but I’m sure she can swing an extra shift. Her foot should be almost healed from her surgery.”

  “Anything else?”

  “The girl who plays the violin called in.”

  I held up my hand to stop her. “Just... handle what you can. I don’t need the details. Alex trusted you so, I trust you.” I nodded once, and she smiled broadly. “The hostess, does she have any waitressing experience?”

  “Yes. Holly started off waitressing for us when she was hired.”

  “Put her out her on the floor and call in...”

  “Lisa?”

  “Call in Lisa and put her at the front. Get her a stool or something so she doesn’t have to be on her feet all day.”

  “Perfect. And the violinist?”

  “I’ll take care of her. For now, just put on some classical music.” I turned to leave as Alice spoke again. “And the wine?”

  I closed my eyes, muttering a curse under my breath. “I’ll handle it. If you need anything, call Harper. I’ll be with her for the rest of the day.”

  I walked back out of the kitchen door and through the main lobby. As I reached the hostess stand, Holly glared over her shoulder at me.

  “You’re on the floor tonight. If you have any questions, talk to Alice.”

  I continued on out of the front door leaving her confused.

  As I made my way to the car park I watched Harper, She was standing outside of her car, her back against the door with her face turned up to the sun. When she heard the sound of my trainers on the gravel, she opened her eyes and smiled. “How’d it go?”

  I shrugged as I made my way to the passenger side of her car. “I think they’ll make it through the day. I need to make a stop before we go to Alex’s place.”

  ***

  Harper and I walked into Dive Bar, and my eyes scanned the floor for Henley, but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I tried not to let that disappointment weigh too heavily on me.

  “She’s not here,” Milo called out from behind the bar as he grabbed a few empty beer bottles from the bar top and placed them in a bin below.

  “I’m looking for you, actually. I need a favor.”

  “I didn’t know we were such good friends,” he grinned as he shook his head, clearly amused.

  “Business favor.”

  His eyes narrowed as he glanced to Harper. “I’m listening.”

  “Do you have any cases of wine you could spare?”

  He snorted as he took a step back. “Wine? You didn’t strike me as the type.”

  When I didn’t reply, he nodded his head. “I might have something. Not many of my customers drink it, to tell the truth, so it has been sitting on a shelf for a while, but I suppose that’s a good thing for wine, right? The older, the better?”

  “Maybe you should adopt that as your dating motto,” I quipped, earning me a glare.

  He nodded for me to follow him as he pushed through the door into the back.

  “I’ll be right back,” I told Harper before following him.

  “This is what I got,” He pulled a box from one of the shelves and opened the top to show me the bottles. “It’s not expensive, but it’ll get the job done.”

  ***

  After paying Milo, we stopped by the dorm so I could talk to Henley. Even with all that was happening, I couldn’t leave her thinking I had chosen Harper over her. I knocked on her door, and when it opened, I had to take a step back. Addy was standing on the other side, and when she saw me, she smirked.

  “Where’s Henley?”

  “She left.”

  “Where’d she go?”

  She shrugged, the smile on her face widening. “What’s wrong, Lucas? You finally get what you deserve?” She folded her arms in front of her chest as she leaned against the doorframe.

  I took a step back and hurried to the elevator. There were girls inside, and one said something that I believe was directed at me, but I couldn’t take in anything they were saying. I needed to find Gigi.

  I got off on her floor, but I wasn’t sure which room was hers, so I began to knock on doors, calling out her name.

  “Gigi!”

  “What the hell are you doing, Lucas?” I spun around to see Gigi standing in a doorway, a scowl on her face. I rushed to her, never feeling so relieved to see her.

  “Where did Henley go?”

  “She left when you ditched her for Harper, asshole.”

  “I didn’t ditch her. It’s complicated.”

  “Why don’t you dumb it down for me.”

  “Gigi, I...” I didn’t even know where to begin. “I need to see her. Please.”

  “She went home. I saw her get in the car with Rhys from my window.”

  “She left with him after he cheated on her? After we –”

  “You mean aft
er you set him up with Payton and then left her naked in your room as you chased another girl?” Gigi shrugged, taking a step back inside of her room. “After I told her that you guys planned it, I guess she found it in her heart to forgive him. Now if you’ll excuse me.” She began to close her door, and I shoved my hands against it to hold it open.

  “So that’s it then? She just ran away with someone else.”

  She eyed me up and down. “Looks like you guys really are perfect for each other.”

  I stepped back and let her slam the door in my face.

  Without thinking, my fist connected with the wall, blinding pain shot through my knuckles and up my wrist, but it barely registered against the crippling ache radiating through my chest. I couldn’t go after Henley, and I still had a lot of things to take care of before heading back to the hospital. It was over.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  HENLEY

  I paced my mother’s front porch with my phone pressed to my ear.

  “I was wondering if you were going to call,” Milo answered in a cheery tone.

  “I’m sorry. I know I had a shift today, but I had to go home.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” I replied, shaking my head. “I’m going to miss my shift tomorrow too.”

  “I’ll figure it out. Enjoy your Thanksgiving. Your friend came in a little bit ago with some doe-eyed girl.”

  I groaned, letting my eyes fall closed. “Harper.”

  “I thought maybe he was looking for you, but they bought some wine and left.”

  “Wine?” My eyes snapped open and the aching in my chest intensified.

  “It was really strange, even for him.”

  I stared off at the tree line at the edge of the property, the branches and leaves blurred together as fresh tears clouded my vision.

  “I’ll call you when I make it back, okay?”

  “Take care of yourself, Henley.”

  “I always do,” I replied before ended the call. I held my phone out in front of me and held down the button on the side until it powered down, turning the screen black. I didn’t want to be tempted with calling him, and it was killing me that he hadn’t even attempted to contact me.

  I slid the phone into my back pocket and took a deep breath before stepping back inside of the house. My mother was at the table, a lit cigarette between her fingers. She smiled over her shoulder at me when I entered before she took a drag.