'You waited,' he said, more as a statement of fact than a question.

  'Just like you told me to.' Lucy scanned the restaurant over his shoulder expecting to see Nick loitering, waiting to be called forward.

  'I'm sorry, I would have been here sooner, but there were some unavoidable delays.'

  'I see' she said.

  'The journalist, Trent, is he here?'

  'He went to investigate an incident at the cathedral in Canterbury.'

  'He may be gone a while then.' Lucy thought she saw the shadow of a smile flicker across Blake's face.

  'About my brother? You said you'd tell me what happened.'

  'I promised I would reunite you.' Lucy could barely breathe as she heard the words. 'But I need to tell you a few things first.'

  'Is he here?'

  'You can see him in a minute, but it can't be a permanent reunion. I'm sorry.'

  Lucy felt the bitter sting of disappointment. 'What do you mean?'

  'He's not the man you knew. You need to prepare yourself for that,' said Blake.

  'You said he was involved in something serious, and that I might not recognise him?'

  'He's been working for the security service. We placed him undercover in the BFA.'

  'A spy?'

  'Keep your voice down,' said Blake. 'You're not supposed to know. You're meant to believe he's dead. They'd throw the book at me if they knew I was even talking to you. But I want you to know the truth. Can I trust you with that?'

  'I've been trying to find out the truth for so long. Why now?'

  'Because I think we owe it to you; because I know what it's like to lose someone and never know if they're alive or dead. This country owes such a debt of gratitude to your brother, but very few people will ever know what he's achieved. I'll tell what I can, but you can never mention a word of it. Can you agree to that?'

  Lucy shrugged her shoulders like a sulky teenager.

  'I met him while he was at university, when I was looking to recruit someone to take part in an undercover programme we were developing. We'd had our suspicions about the BFA and needed to place someone deep on the inside. Nick was young, intelligent and disillusioned. Most importantly he'd cut all his ties with his family,' said Blake.

  'He told you that?'

  'Obviously we ran some background checks.'

  'Oh my God, you spied on us?'

  'We had to be sure he was genuine. He was perfect. So we engineered it that Nick was introduced into the BFA, and with some guidance he quickly became integrated into the party and was able to feed me vital inside information. Of course, we had to eradicate his past. We changed his name, although we built his legend around his own personal history. Then we told him to make contact with his family one last time, and tell you he was taking a gap year to travel,' said Blake.

  Lucy's mouth dropped open as the realisation struck her. 'You faked his death?'

  'We couldn't take the risk that you would try to contact him. It would have put him in a lot of danger. The break had to be clean.'

  'What about his rucksack? How did that turn up in the Amazon?'

  Blake shook his head.

  'That was you as well?'

  'We had to tie up the loose ends for Ben's, I mean Nick's safety. As far as his BFA contacts were aware he'd dropped out of college to follow his interest in the far right. We let it be known by them that he was harbouring huge debts and had little prospect of getting a job. We created an opportunity for them to support him, to invest in him. That's how he gained their trust. At the same time, we had to make sure his family genuinely believed he was dead.'

  'It's hard to take in. I mean, he's the least likely person I know to get involved with a group like that. He'd hate everything the BFA stood for. How did you do it?'

  'I can't tell you that. His transformation was gradual, but by the end, he was totally convincing. We spent a lot of time and effort getting him to act and think like a neo-Nazi.'

  'You mean you brain-washed him?'

  'No, it wasn't like that. But look, it's all over. We've pulled him out.'

  'You said he was involved in something serious?'

  Blake looked down at his hands folded on the table. 'You'll hear later today about an incident on a ferry at Dover. There were explosives packed into a car designed to kill and injure hundreds of passengers in the middle of the Channel. Thanks to Nick, a tragedy was averted. He played a crucial part in saving lives. He's a hero.'

  'But you can't tell me what, right?'

  'No. But thanks to Nick, arrest warrants are being carried out across the country to pick up some of the senior people in the BFA, including Ken Longhurst. But unfortunately, Nick's role will never be publicly recognised.'

  'I don't understand why they wanted to attack a cross-Channel ferry.'

  'Because they wanted to make a point, I guess. The BFA saw Dover as the soft underbelly of immigration into Britain.'

  'That's madness.'

  'Nobody ever claimed there was any sanity in terrorism.'

  'Can I see Nick now?'

  'Of course, but he may be a little disoriented. He's been through a lot, and we've just pulled him out of deep cover. He's spent the last two years with the belief that he would never see his family again, and now we're about to reunite you. But this will be a one-off meeting. A chance to say your goodbyes.'

  'Goodbyes?'

  'Nick will be given a new identity. And he'll be leaving the country for good, for his own safety and yours. He's responsible for the fall of some powerful people, not only in this country, but abroad, and the chances are they're not going to be too happy. I can't put you in danger by giving you any more information. You must write him out of your life. I know it's tough, but at least you know that he's alive and well.'

  Lucy felt as if she was losing her brother all over again, even before they'd been reunited. A second death.

  'Let me see him now.' Lucy wiped away tears with the back of her hand.

  'You won't have long. I need to get him away tonight, but if you're ready, follow me.'

  Blake eased himself from the seat and winced, the bandages around his leg drenched with blood.

  'Are you alright?' Lucy asked, with genuine concern. 'You're bleeding.'

  'I'm fine. Come on.'

  Lucy followed Blake into the car park. He led her to a far corner where a black saloon was parked. A figure was sitting in the driver's seat. Her heart skipped a beat. Blake hobbled up to the vehicle and rapped on the window. A tall, gaunt figure stepped out, raised himself to his full height, and turned slowly.

  'Nick, there's someone who wants to say hello,' said Blake.

  Lucy could barely recognise her brother. His skin was a pallid grey, his hair cropped short, and his eyes bloodshot.

  'Nick?' She had thought for so long about how it might be when she was reunited with her brother. Now the moment had arrived she wasn't sure it met her expectations. There was something different about him, as Blake had warned her. It wasn't only his physical appearance. He stared at her through a stranger's eyes, as if processing her features and trying to recall her face.

  'Lucy?'

  'What's happened to you?' She took a few tentative steps forwards, tears rolling down her cheeks. Nick looked to Blake, as if for reassurance.

  'I've explained everything to Lucy. She's here to say her goodbyes,' said Blake.

  Nick smiled sheepishly. 'I'm sorry, Lucy.'

  It was the smile that did it. Lucy launched herself at her brother, and almost knocked him off his feet. She threw her arms around his body and hugged him tightly, surprised that there seemed to be little more to him than sinew and bone.

  Nick stood with his arms outstretched, unsure what to do. It had been a long time since anyone had shown him any affection. All he had known in recent months was hatred and anger. Slowly he closed his arms around her.

  'They tried to tell me that you were dead, but I never believed it for a minute.' Lucy gripped him vice-like as
if she would never let go.

  Nick tried to speak, but the words choked in his throat.

  'Do you remember that day in the park before you left for college? I took a picture of us lying on the grass. I always kept that with me. I knew one day I'd find you.' She finally released her grip on him to look at his face.

  'I remember,' he whispered. 'We ate bread and cheese and drank wine.'

  'That's right.'

  'How's mum?'

  'She didn't take the news of your death too well, but you know, she's fine.'

  'You know you can't tell her, don't you?'

  'I know,' Lucy sniffed. She was struggling with mixed emotions. The anguish of knowing she would never see her brother again after the elation of finally finding him gnawed at her heart. And how was she supposed to keep this secret from her mother?

  'Time's nearly up I'm afraid,' said Blake, as two cars rolled around the far edge of the car park. They came to a halt behind the black saloon.

  A tall man in an expensive-looking white shirt, jeans, and mirrored sunglasses stepped out of an Audi and handed Blake the keys. Then he jumped in behind the wheel of Proctor and Blake's getaway car.

  'What's happening?' asked Lucy, fearing she already knew the answer.

  'We need to stage an accident with the car,' said Blake.

  'You're going to kill him off again?'

  'As far as the police are concerned Nick was partly responsible for the plot to blow up a cross-Channel ferry. They'll be looking for him as part of their investigation. They'll soon find the van we abandoned, and it's only a matter of time before they trace this car. They'll find it run off the road and burned out. They won't easily be able to identify the body, and our people will see to it that the dental records are doctored. As far as they will know, Ben Proctor was behind the wheel and he died trying to escape from the port.'

  Lucy said nothing as the saloon reversed out and drove for the exit back onto the motorway, followed by the SUV.

  'Are you sure the police will be convinced?' Lucy finally asked, as the cars vanished.

  'These guys are professionals. They know what they're doing. Now I'm afraid it's time to go. You need to say your goodbyes.'

  'Wait. Where are you taking him?'

  'You know I can't tell you that.'

  'I know, but you said you were sending him abroad. That means you're taking him to an airport, right?' Blake looked at her impassively. 'Let me come with you, I mean to the airport. You owe us that much. What harm can that do?'

  Blake thought for a moment, looking off into the distance as if contemplating whether the decision could land him in any more trouble than he was probably in already. 'Come on then, get in. You'll get me sacked.'

  Lucy yelped a squeal of delight before jumping into the back seat of the Audi next to her brother.

  Chapter 55

  Lucy's phone jigged across the wooden bar, threatening to topple her glass of Sauvignon Blanc. She glanced at the screen. It was the sixth time Trent had rung in the last hour. Each time she toyed with the idea of answering, but concluded it would complicate things. Better to ignore him for the time being.

  'Aren't you going to answer that?' The voice made her jump. She grabbed the phone, rejected the call, and slid it into her bag. Nick pulled out a stool and sat down.

  'I ordered a bottle of white for old time's sake,' she said, ignoring his question. He took a tentative sip.

  'Can't remember the last time I drank wine.' Nick looked at his sister as if seeing her for the first time. She grinned, hardly daring to believe that he was back from the dead.

  He had changed out of his clothes. Blake had bought him a smart blue shirt, dark jeans, and a V-neck cashmere jumper. Long sleeves hid the tattoos that would later be laser removed, but he still looked gaunt, and Lucy hated his hair so closely cropped. However, it was a vast improvement on his appearance in the service station car park.

  'What will you do when I'm gone?' he asked.

  'What can I do? I can't tell anyone. Besides, who'd believe me? I can't even tell mum. What would I say? That her only son is alive and well? That his death was faked and that I found him after a chance encounter on the Tube, and he's disappeared on a fake identity and we'll never see him again?'

  'I really don't know what to say to make this better.'

  'Why did you do it, Nick?'

  'What?'

  'Why did you let us think you were dead?'

  'I didn't think I had much choice.'

  'I know you had your differences with mum, but how could you leave us like that? And to let us think you'd died in some slum somewhere on the other side of the world?'

  'It wasn't like that.'

  'So how was it?'

  'I didn't know what they'd told you,' he muttered into his glass. 'They just said they'd sort it out. I felt like a failure. I couldn't live up to mum's expectations, to your expectations. I wasn't you, Lucy. I wasn't academic, I was never going to achieve what you had, and it felt as if whatever I did mum could never be proud of me.'

  'So you gave up on us both?'

  'I thought mum hated me. The last time we argued there was such, I don't know, disappointment in her voice. It was as if she despised who I was. We both said things we probably shouldn't have done. I wanted to lead my life my way. Look, I had no money, no prospects, and after that row, no family to turn to. Then I was offered a job I couldn't refuse.'

  'Did you know who Blake was? Who he worked for?'

  'Not really. He wanted me to do some undercover stuff for the government, and in return, he promised he'd sort me out for life if I did alright. It sounded exciting. I thought it was my way out.'

  'And did he tell you that it would involve cutting your family out of your life forever?'

  'I thought I'd lost you already.'

  'Christ, Nick, it nearly broke mum's heart. I've never seen her so happy as when you phoned her before you supposedly left for Brazil. Then when the police arrived with the news you were missing she was devastated. We all were. You have no idea what that did to her. It was awful. It was as if a little piece of her had been stolen.'

  'I thought you'd be glad to be rid of me. I'd been such a pain in the arse.'

  'Don't be so bloody self-pitying.'

  Lucy snatched up her glass and took a large gulp of wine. Small groups of weary travellers were camped out around tables in the airport bar. Nick looked around, conscious that they had both raised their voices, but no one was taking any notice.

  'You said something about seeing me on the Tube?'

  'I saw you once. At Holborn. I was on the platform. It was packed with people. A train pulled up but there was no room to get on, and as it was leaving I thought I saw your face. In fact, I was convinced it was you. Of course, the irony was that I was on my way home from Brazil, where we'd been looking for you.'

  Nick furrowed his brow as he tried to recall the incident. 'I didn't see you.'

  'You looked me straight in the eye, but you had a faraway look, like there was something on your mind. I could tell you didn't recognise me.'

  'But you still managed to find me?'

  'Can you believe I put up missing posters, like I was looking for a lost cat,' Lucy snorted a half laugh. 'It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. I covered the outside of Holborn station with your ugly mug. They were literally everywhere. I used that picture I took in the park before you went to Uni.'

  'And someone recognised me?'

  'A journalist who'd been investigating the BFA. He thought your face was familiar. He called me, but I didn't believe him when he said you were involved with them. I couldn't believe that you'd get involved with something so... so ghastly.'

  Nick hung his head.

  'I knew it wasn't true. He claimed he'd met you on a yacht in Canary Wharf, and that you'd done something awful to him.' Lucy looked her brother in the eye, tears welling.

  'Lucy, I don't remember. I don't know how to explain it, but it was as if I was li
ving inside someone else's head. I don't have any memories of who I was or what I did.'

  'How can you not remember?'

  'I don't know. I feel like I've woken up from a dream and the harder I try to grasp hold of the memories, the further they slip away.'

  Lucy took her brother's hand from his lap. 'Nick, what did they do to you?'

  'I don't know.'

  A large brown envelope dropped over their heads and landed on the bar with a slap.

  'Your new life, Nick,' Blake said, looming over them. 'Your new name, passport, driver's licence, and bank account details. The money we agreed has been deposited, and will be available to you from the moment you land. But please wait to open it until you're in the departure lounge at least.' He dropped a second envelope on top of the first. 'And that's your ticket. Again, I'd ask you to refrain from opening it for the moment. Lucy, you understand that today must be a clean break? For Nick's safety and for yours.'

  Lucy dipped her head in acknowledgement.

  'I'm sorry to break up the party, but we've got to get you on a plane. The sooner you're out of the country the better for everyone. Time to say farewell.' Blake walked away and waited at a discreet distance.

  'Well I guess this is it, Sis,' said Nick, standing.

  Lucy's eyes were bloodshot. 'Don't leave,' she sobbed.

  'I don't have a choice. You know I don't. If I could turn back time and make a different choice, I would. But I can't.' His words choked in his throat.

  Lucy threw her arms around him, and burrowed her face into his neck. 'I love you, Nick.'

  'I love you too. Who knows, one day they might let me come back. Never say never.'

  'Don't ever forget me.'

  'How could I?'

  Lucy dived into her handbag with one hand, wiping tears with the back of the other. 'I want you to take this.' She produced the dog-eared photo she'd used on the missing posters. Nick stared at the picture silently before tucking it into a pocket in a leather travel bag by his feet.

  'Lucy, I am so, so sorry for everything.'

  'I know,' she replied, composing herself. 'You'd better go. You've got a plane to catch. Goodbye, Nick.'

  'Goodbye, Lucy.'

  They stood for an uncomfortable moment, looking at each other as if waiting for some further revelation that didn't come. Eventually, Lucy picked up her handbag and walked determinedly away.

  When he was sure that she had gone, Nick scooped up his cabin bag and found Blake waiting outside. They walked together to the check-in terminals, Nick clutching his two envelopes tightly.