But the thought of her living her life without him, moving on with someone else, making a home there by the lake filled him with grief. For himself. For the life he could have with her.
He flipped through the pages of the file again, the pictures of his classmates filling one of the pages. It was a newspaper write-up about the Long Acre tragedy. Victims’ yearbook photos in one column. Survivors’ names in the other.
Survivors:
Arias, Olivia
Breslin, Kincaid
Dorsey, Finn
Right there nearly next to each other on the page. Finn and Liv. They were survivors. They were the ones who got away, only to be chased for years after. By the memories. By the anger. By the fear. By the label the killers had given them. His entire life, he’d wanted revenge, wanted to fight back. Wanted to win.
He still wanted that.
Now was his chance.
Billings was talking again, but Finn wasn’t listening. His blood was pounding too loudly in his ears, like the panic attacks he used to have. But this wasn’t panic. This was something different. This was…clarity.
He reached below the seat, searching for his phone. “I need to make a phone call.”
Billings grunted. “They frown on that when we’re rolling down the runway.”
“Let them fucking frown.” Finn found his phone in the outside pocket and powered it on.
The flight attendant was heading down the aisle, checking each row, his smile polite but his eyes hawkish. Finn pressed the power button, willing the damn thing to boot up quickly.
“Come on, come on,” he cajoled.
The attendant paused at a row, asked a guy to put up his tray table.
The screen lit, and the phone searched for a signal. The plane rolled toward the runway. Finn hit a button and put the phone to his ear.
“Sir.” The flight attendant’s voice was sharp. “I need you turn off your phone or put it in airplane mode now.”
“I just need to make a quick call. This is government business—”
“I’m sorry, sir. No calls allowed.” The guy’s tone had taken on an authoritative edge, which had made other passengers turn their way.
“I have to—”
Billings took the phone from Finn and quickly hit the button for airplane mode. “Sorry. We’re good.”
The attendant frowned and gave Finn a don’t-try-me look before walking off.
“What the hell was that for?” Finn demanded.
Billings handed the phone back. “Don’t draw attention to yourself. Are you that out of practice?”
Frustration welled in Finn, and he hit the unlock button on his phone again. But before he could attempt to make a call, a notification appeared on his screen. He hit the box and his eyes scanned over the message.
“Sir, I’m not going to ask you again…”
But he waved off the flight attendant.
There was a selfie of Liv at the Long Acre memorial. Her eyes damp but clear. Her smile small but genuine. And there was a message.
Go get them for all of us, Batman, and take care of yourself. The world is better with you in it. *My* world is better with you in it.
I’ll be waiting for you when you get home.
However long it takes.
You’re worth the wait.
chapter
TWENTY-NINE
Liv balanced a bag of takeout in one hand and her camera equipment in the other. After Finn had left town and not responded to her message, she’d needed to zone out and get behind the lens. Not think. Not obsess. Just be at peace with the message she’d sent him no matter the outcome.
She’d spent the last three days taking photos and working on building her website. Olivia Arias, artist and photographer. Seeing the heading on the site had given her butterflies but also filled her with purpose. She’d booked two more sessions with survivors. She didn’t know if anything would come of that project, but she had to do it anyway. Even if no one would ever see it, she felt called to complete it.
This afternoon, she’d had lunch with Taryn and then snapped photos of the school until the sun had gone down and stolen her light.
Busy was good. Busy was keeping her sane. She wasn’t shocked Finn hadn’t responded. They hadn’t exactly walked away from each other with the nicest words. But she had faith a response would eventually come. Probably not the one she wanted. He’d told her when he left that he wouldn’t ask her to wait. He wasn’t a man who easily changed his mind. But he wouldn’t be cruel and leave her hanging indefinitely. She knew that much.
She frowned at the doorway, realizing too late that she needed to get the key out of her purse and had no available hand to do it. With a sigh, she set her food and equipment at her feet and dug into her purse, looking for the house key.
As soon as she got her fingers on it, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She groaned. At this rate, she was never going to get to eat her beef lo mein.
It had to be one of her friends checking on her. They were mother-henning her pretty hard-core. She had a feeling they were having nightly phone powwows to determine who would casually check on Liv this time. It was sweet. Exhausting, but sweet. She let the key fall back into her purse and grabbed for her phone.
The crickets sang around her, and she peered at the screen. It was bright in the dark, and it took a second for her eyes to adjust and read the notification on the screen.
But her brain registered the name first. Her heart gave a sharp kick. Finn.
Finn: I don’t want you to wait.
She stared at the words, her hope plummeting and her lungs deflating in a crush of defeat.
She’d thought she prepared herself for this kind of response, knew in her heart Finn wasn’t going to ask her to put her life on hold for him. But still, seeing the words in black and white was like a judge’s gavel slamming in her ear. Decision had been rendered. Thank you for stopping by. Please leave the court.
Tears pricked her eyes and she dragged in a ragged breath, trying to keep the pieces of herself together. She’d be okay. She’d get through this.
Probably.
Maybe.
Her phone vibrated again.
She looked down through blurred vision.
Finn: Because I won’t survive waiting for you.
She frowned, trying to process the message, but a noise drew her attention upward. She looked toward the house, instantly on alert.
The porch light came on, and the door cracked open. She shoved her free hand in her purse, grappling for her mace but grabbing a hairbrush instead. She held it out in front of her as if it could protect her. But then a man stepped out onto the porch. All six feet of dark-haired, sexy, familiar man.
The hairbrush and her phone slipped from her fingers and clattered to the porch floor. She stared, lips parted.
“Hey,” he said softly.
“Finn.” It was the only word she could manage. Her brain had forgotten how to work, but her legs managed to move her forward. She stopped in front of him, looking up, almost afraid she was imagining him.
He smiled, pain there at the edges, and cradled her face. “I got your message.”
“You—” She licked her lips, tried to find her voice. “That was days ago. I thought…”
“I’m sorry I didn’t respond.” He swiped his thumbs over her cheeks where earlier tears had tracked. “I didn’t want to do this by phone, and I had a few things I needed to work out first.”
Her breath had quickened, every cell straining to touch him. “Work out?”
“My job, my duty… I take it seriously.”
She rolled her lips inward. “I know that. I told you…I’m willing to wait for you. What you do is important. I reacted selfishly the first time. I didn’t mean—”
He pressed his fingers over her mouth, quieting h
er attempt at an apology. “You reacted honestly. I should’ve, too.” He slid his hand down to her shoulder, regret on his face. “I didn’t want to leave you either. I should’ve told you that. Every day of this summer has been better than the next. I’ve never felt so…content. And that scared the hell out of me because there’s this part of me that tells me I’m not worth anything if I’m not out there fighting the fight. That I’m giving up. A coward.”
She frowned and shook her head. “Finn…”
“But it hit me on the plane that the only cowardly thing I was doing was running from the very thing that would make me happy.”
She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his shoulder, the words falling over her like warm rain.
“I don’t need this mission to get revenge or to prove my worth.” His hand coasted over the back of her head, his fingers sifting through her hair. “I already have the best revenge I could ask for. Trevor and Joseph wanted to take out the people who they thought were happy. They figured the rest of us would mess up our lives on our own.”
She lifted her head.
“I’ve done a pretty good job of it. I’ve done their bidding. And I was about to do it again. Turning away from something great and spending another few years of my life focused on them, on their legacy.” He brushed her hair away from her face. “But that’s not what revenge would be. Revenge would be happiness.”
She swallowed past the apple-sized lump in her throat.
“And you, Olivia Arias”—he stepped back and took her hand in his—“are my happiness.”
She’d been trying not to cry, but he wasn’t playing fair. Her eyes filled, and she choked out the words she couldn’t keep in any longer. “You’re staying.”
“I’m staying,” he confirmed. “If you’ll have me.”
Before she could process what he was doing or say anything else, he lowered himself in front of her. On one knee.
Oh God. All of the starch left her, and she nearly dissolved into a puddle on the porch. She reached out for a column to steady herself.
He held her other hand. “I love you. I did back then. And I love you even more today. I don’t need a mission to get me up every morning. I already have my mission right here—to wake up every day and spend my life with you.” He pulled a gold ring from his pocket, one she recognized, one she’d secretly coveted all those years ago but could’ve never worn publicly. His high school ring. He held it up. “I know it hasn’t been long, but in some ways it feels like we’ve waited a lifetime. Will you marry me, Liv?”
Liv slid down to her knees, no longer able to hold herself up. All those years she’d told herself she wasn’t looking for this. Relationships weren’t for her. Marriage wasn’t for her. That day by the lake, she’d told him she couldn’t wait for him. But that was a lie.
She’d been waiting for him all along—twelve years of trying to find what she’d only gotten a taste of in high school. She’d found the one on her first try and had spent all the years afterward with an empty place in her heart that she didn’t know how to fill. A place fit just for this man. That part overflowed now. Hot tears tracked down her cheeks as she nodded. “Yes. Sí. Ja. All the yeses.”
The dimpled smile that broke out on Finn’s face could’ve lit the whole front yard with its brilliance. His hands trembled as he unfastened her necklace and slid the too-big ring onto the chain, proving that at least one thing could shake his nerves of steel. “This will have to hold a temporary spot until I can get you a real one. I didn’t think you’d want the airport jewelry special.” He kissed her ring finger. “Plus, I always wanted you to wear my class ring.”
She smiled, her heart almost too full for her to form words. But instead of some brilliant declaration of love, a non sequitur burst out. “They sell engagement rings at the airport?”
“Yep.” He smirked. “Next to the Cinnabon.”
A laugh tumbled from her, and she launched herself at him, toppling him and kissing him on the way down. I love you, I love you, I love you. The words poured out of her in between kisses, and he said the same thing back. She ran her hands through his hair, over his stubbled chin, mapping him, proving to herself that he was really here, that this was actually happening.
His hands went into her hair, and soon the kisses turned from sweet to heated. Every part of her craved him. This week, she’d thought she’d lost him forever. Tonight, he was here, safe, hers, loving her, offering her forever. She didn’t want to let him go.
But they were on the porch, it was hot, and the mosquitos in Texas were no joke. He groaned into her kiss. “Maybe we should take this inside. Getting arrested for public indecency will really put a cramp in my celebrating-our-engagement-by-giving-my-girl-multiple-orgasms plan.”
His girl. A hard shiver of happy, yummy things went through her. “Yes, let’s not interfere with that plan. That sounds like an excellent plan.”
Finn helped her to her feet and quickly gathered the things she’d left in the walkway. The scent of her food drifted between them. “You were about to eat dinner. Do you want to eat?”
The appetite she’d had earlier had shifted into an entirely different hunger. “Food can wait.”
“Thank God.” As soon as the door shut behind him, he tossed everything on a table and was reaching for her again. “I need you. It feels like it’s been years.”
“Eons,” she said, breathless.
He tugged her shirt over her head and then followed the path with his mouth, kissing her throat, the space between her breasts, her belly. Urgent. Hungry. “You really would’ve waited for me?”
“Yes.” She dug her nails into his biceps, trying to hold herself up while he weakened her with every hot, openmouthed kiss to her bare skin. “Impatiently. Anxiously. But yes.”
He unhooked her bra and tossed it to the floor. His big, warm palm cupped her breast, and he dragged his thumb over its peak, sending sparks to the now-throbbing spot between her thighs. “Damn. I must be really good in bed for you to be willing to wait indefinitely.”
She groaned as he teased her sensitive skin with his stubble and then took her nipple in his mouth. She leaned against the wall and threaded a hand in his hair, her thoughts slowing and her senses taking over. “You’ve ruined me for other men, Dorsey. You suck.”
He lifted his head and gave her a roguish grin. “Your other-men days are over. I would apologize, but I’m not at all sorry.”
“Neither am I.” She shifted her hips to help as he tugged off her shorts and panties. “I’ve heard you’re a great lay.”
A gleam came into his eyes as he took in the sight of her naked against the wall. “Is that right?”
He looked like an avenging angel, all dark looks and darker promises. This was a man who’d seen the stuff of nightmares and faced it down anyway. Strong. Brave. Sexy. The fact that he loved her was frosting on an already irresistible cake. “Yeah.”
He dragged his T-shirt over his head with one hand, his hungry eyes staying on her. “And I’ve heard you have a reputation.”
Her lips curved, heat fluttering low and hot. She cocked a brow. “All true. Better bring your A game.”
He stripped out of his jeans and took himself in hand, giving his erection a leisurely stroke.
“That’s the only game I have.” Without warning, he grabbed her and spun her, pressing her against the wall like he was about to search her for weapons. The wall was cool against her cheek, and the heat of him rubbed against her backside.
He slid his hand over her hip and then downward, clever fingers finding her wet and wanting. She groaned at the touch.
His lips brushed the shell of her ear. “Are you using me for my body again, Arias?”
“God, yes.” She tipped her hips back and brazenly rocked against him. “Get used to it. I’ll be thoroughly using it for the rest of my life.”
His own
groan filled her ear, and he grabbed her hip, tilting her just how he wanted her. “I love you so goddamned much.”
He angled forward, pressing the hard part of him against the softest part of her, and she sighed in pleasure, taking him inside her body and letting him own her heart. Joined. She was his and he hers. In every way. She closed her eyes and gave herself over to the moment and to him. They were rutting against a wall like some illicit hookup in an alley. Sweaty and rough and both saying words that would make a hooker blush.
But she’d never had a more romantic moment in her life.
The fractured pieces of her world had finally landed in just the right place, creating a picture she’d never imagined. One that took her breath away.
Broken glass still made art.
Sometimes, the most beautiful kind.
I love you back, Finn Dorsey. I will always love you back.
epilogue
SIX MONTHS LATER
The voices echoed off the gym walls, the hushed tones becoming a dull roar because of the number of people who’d shown up. Liv’s stomach rolled with nerves, and she forced herself to take a deep breath. I can do this.
Warm fingers closed around her hand. “You’ve got this, Arias.”
Liv pressed her lips together and glanced over, finding Finn wearing an encouraging smile. “What if it all sucks? What if people are only here because it’s a news story and something to gawk at and not because it’s good? What if they’re here to humor the poor, pitiful survivor? Oh God, are they humoring me?”
Finn chuckled and turned her toward him, looking dashing and calm in his tux. Her own James Bond. He pushed a finger under her chin, tipping her face up and locking her in his firm gaze. “Stop. This. What you created is beautiful and special and amazing. No one is paying lip service. The money it’s raising is going to charity, and the accolades are anything but.”