Page 21 of Surrender to Me

Page 21

 

  Wow. She wasn’t used to that.

  “Right now, you don’t seem like the kind of dickhead who makes himself feel better by making others feel worse. ” She sniffed, paused, still thinking through her reply. He was trying hard to be fair; she needed to do the same. “I know that, though stupid and drunken, getting married was my idea. I have no doubt after having a bullet whiz a quarter inch from my face that the danger I’m in is real. I’d escaped him, yeah. ” It pained her to admit this. “He would probably have found me again pretty quickly. I know you alpha males can’t fathom not protecting your woman or whatever. I admit that I don’t know the first thing about hiding from an assassin. ”

  “But?”

  Damn if the concern in his prompt didn’t start the tears again. “I don’t think I can deal with you always trying to get in my head. Fun, casual, normal sex—yes. But what you want . . . ”

  “The intense bond of people who fuck not just with their bodies for the sake of orgasm, but with their minds and hearts to share the ultimate pleasure? Who give themselves to each other so completely that you and I become an us that’s so solid, nothing can ever shake it? You don’t want that?”

  Kata couldn’t look away from his solemn, unwavering stare, half-hidden in the gray shadows. She trembled from head to toe. When he described the relationship he saw, it sounded so beautiful. But so not real. Wasn’t that, like, a Hallmark card or a Lifetime movie? “Not when it starts with you ordering me around. I—I can’t . . . ”

  “You’re not the kind of woman who runs from herself. I refuse to believe that, rather than face me and your fears, you’d prefer tepid orgasms with someone like Ben, who will never fulfill you or truly earn your love. ”

  She wasn’t a coward. She already knew she couldn’t go back to Ben. He’d propositioned her three times since she’d breezed into his hotel room—had that been just this morning?—and she hadn’t hesitated to turn him down.

  “You can’t tell me you’ve had that sort of relationship with every woman who’s ever submitted to you. ”

  “You’re right. ” He sighed. “You are the first one. The only one. ”

  Those words touched her, despite the danger they represented. And the goddamn tears just wouldn’t stop. Hunter had broken something open inside her. Even last night she’d wanted what he seemed to be offering, but now that he’d laid it out on the table so totally? She wanted it more. Desperately. Even though it terrified her.

  And cue more tears. Damn it.

  “Honey, trust me. I’m not Gordon. When something is bothering you, we’ll talk about it. I want to know how you feel and what’s on your mind. ” He sighed and swept the hair back from her face with gentle palms. “Too many Doms want some sweet little sub who won’t give them any challenge. I could pick up the phone now and call any one of the dozens of such subs I know. But your submission is only as good as my dominance. It’s your vitality and your passion I want, and your full life contributes to those. Under normal circumstances, I would never interfere with your job or your friends. If I ever behave like Gordon, you have my permission to string me up by the balls. I want to master your body, not put a lockdown on your life. ”

  Really?

  Kata bit her lip as she stared up into his hard male face, his eyes so blue in the semidarkness. He met her, moment for moment, not blinking. Not rushing her. His words bounced around in her head.

  Hunter had spelled out the situation perfectly. Now she had to decide: return to her casual lovers and sex with them that meant nothing, or submit?

  Chapter Ten

  “ALL right. ” Releasing a harsh breath, Kata sent him a jerky nod. “If you don’t overwhelm me too much, I’ll try to submit to you. ”

  He smiled. “Not to sound too much like Yoda, but ‘do or do not; there is no try. ’”

  Yeah, Hunter was an all or nothing guy. And so far, she’d done everything halfway. If she wanted this, wanted to find out if he was really going to fill that empty, aching need in her that had never been quite satisfied, she was going to have to cooperate. Hunter couldn’t give her that elusive, ultimate satisfaction if she didn’t let him.

  “Okay. ” She swallowed. “I’ll do it. ”

  Satisfaction settled into his stark features. “Thank you. ”

  That look suffused her with pleasure. Normally, she wouldn’t give a shit what any guy thought. Gordon had rearranged her wiring so that she didn’t go out of her way to please any male. For some reason, Hunter was different. Yes, he was often pushy and unyielding, which sometimes translated to teeth-gritting annoyance. But he didn’t appear to command her simply for the sake of pumping up whatever chest-thumping, knuckle-dragging caveman lived inside him. He had a purpose. And if she wanted more of his smiles, affection, and sugary-perfect touch—and that orgasm he’d been withholding—she was going to have to rein in her temper.

  He brushed her cheek with a tender caress, settled his mouth over hers. Her thoughts scattered. His kiss drifted over her lips, softer than a whisper but with more impact than a sledgehammer. She drew in a shaky breath. An ache bled through her chest, until her nipples peaked again. This feeling went beyond a mere craving for his touch to an insane desire to be meaningful to him. It speared her heart, the terrifying yearning for all of him to merge with all of her.

  Because she wanted it so badly, Kata realized that Hunter was holding himself back.

  She raised her head, as much as the manacles allowed, and fused their mouths together in another silent plea. She opened to him, arched to him, told him in a thousand subtle ways that he was welcome.

  Instead of taking what she offered, he eased back and stared at her as if she were a puzzle to solve. Lying naked under the muted, grayish light, prisoner to his perceptive gaze, made her so aware of her own skin, of the ceiling fan’s cool breeze brushing her exposed nipples, the swollen, wet flesh between her legs. Manacled, open, she could hide nothing. Instead of squirming with the usual discomfort, more blood swelled her nipples and her clit pulsed under her skin.

  His gaze was intimate. Ravenous. A thick ridge of cock stood behind the fly of his low-slung jeans. The fact that seeing her all spread out revved him up gave Kata a ridiculous thrill. She arched, thrusting her breasts out, silently offering what she so badly needed him to take.

  As if he read her mind, Hunter ran a finger over the hard point of her nipple, down her belly, into her wet pussy. Light, toying, teasing, every touch was designed to take her up higher. A new ripple of pleasure crashed over her.

  “What do you want, honey? Tell me. ”

  His body on hers, every inch of that erection tenting his jeans deep inside her while they strained together for a mutually amazing climax.

  She lifted her hips to him in silent invitation, hoping he’d get the hint.

  His gaze dipped lower, right between her legs, but he didn’t move toward her.

  “Kata,” his tone warned. “Any good Dom/sub relationship starts with clear communication. ” His phone dinged with a reminder alarm in the charged room. He leveled a heavy stare her way. “Top of the hour, honey. Time for another punishment. Tell me what you want or brace yourself. ”

  That calm, unblinking stare of his unnerved her. How did you tell a man so full of control and command that you wanted him to do his worst, even if it scared you senseless? He knew all this. Why did she have to make herself more vulnerable?

  “I—I . . . ” Am so afraid.

  “All right, then. Pity. ” As he opened the drawers of the nightstand, his jaw clenched. No mistaking his disappointment, edged in anger.

  That didn’t bode well for a quick orgasm. And some part of her really hated to disappoint him.

  “Wait!” she gasped. “If you want me to admit that I’m hot for you, I am. Totally. ”

  He shook his head, no longer even looking at her. Instead, he prowled through the drawers of the nightstand. “I can see that by looking at your hard nipples and your wet pu
ssy. I didn’t ask what you felt. I asked what you wanted. ”

  Crap. He’d given her another chance, and she’d blown it with her reticence and her big mouth. Why was it so hard to admit her feelings and desires to him? Why did it feel too revealing? Gordon . . . and her mother. Their twisted relationship terrified her. But would Hunter really throw her feelings back in her face, use them against her? Or was she just too afraid to find out because baring her feelings gave him so much power?

  Wincing at the ugly truth, Kata watched his quick, precise movements. The displeasure on his face was like a stab to the heart. And she had an inkling that whatever he was doing in that drawer would light up the ache in her unsatisfied body, quickly eclipsing any mental discomfort she would suffer by being honest.

  “Hunter, you’re right. I’m sorry. Please. ” Kata willed him to look at her. He didn’t. “This is hard for me. ”

  He sighed, looked her way. “I know. What’s happening is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. I’ve taken that into account. My problem is, you’re still trying to submit on your terms. I won’t let that happen, honey. ”

  He trailed his fingers through her drenched folds. She gasped at the immediate resurgence of pleasure. He could make her want him so easily, so completely. That unnerved her to the core.

  “Your body wants this. ” He drilled a serious blue stare into her, as if willing her to understand. “Now your mind must accept it. I see a submissive’s need to be taken and to please on your face, but your fear is in our way. ”

  Kata wanted so badly to tell him that he was wrong. But she’d be lying. As his thumb grazed her clit again, need jolted her entire body. She arched to him, trying to increase the pressure on her little bundle of nerves.

  He withdrew his hand from her needy flesh, then began taking items from the nightstand and placing them above her head, just out of her line of sight. “Let’s see if we can get you past that. ”

  She broke out in a cold sweat. Handing the key to unlock her body—and her heart—to someone as alpha and ruthless as Hunter scared her. But if she didn’t truly submit, what did she have to look forward to when Hunter was gone except more meaningless flings?

  “I want you,” she blurted. “I want you to do anything. Everything . . . even though it terrifies me. ”

  A smile eased the harshness from his face. “Good girl. ”

  He understood. Thank God. She released the breath she’d been holding. “So what are you going to do?”

  Instantly, his stare turned thunderous—and made her shiver. “That’s for me to decide. And for you to take without comment or complaint. Because you trust me. ”

  Kata bit her lip. Her first urge was to tell him to go to hell. She swallowed it. As much as being bound and helpless disturbed her independent nature, she couldn’t deny that her body loved it . . . and craved him.

  What would it be like to give herself completely—no worries, no responsibilities or fears—over to him for a night? If the only thing in the world that mattered was the connection between them? That seductive thought whispered her name, a terrifying pleasure drug waiting to become addictive.

  Hunter stood at the side of the bed and did nothing more than watch and wait as thoughts pinged through her head.

  “I’m sorry,” she finally whispered into the silence. “Please, don’t stop. ”

  He sent her a curt nod, then grabbed one of the items he’d placed on the mattress above her head. The crinkle of plastic filled her ears. He drew in a deep breath of anticipation, his chest lifting, looking lethally strong. Kata was dying to know what he planned to do but didn’t ask. It would only prolong an argument her body knew she was going to lose.

  He bent and sucked a nipple into his mouth. Immediately, heat assailed her, and the little bud tightened almost painfully. Moisture gushed from her, slicking her folds even more. Straightening, he lowered his gaze squarely to her pussy and rubbed a pair of fingers right over the slick hood of her clit. Sensation struck her like lightning. She bucked, arched. Moaned.

  “Hunter . . . ”

  “Who am I in bed?”

  No way she could hold back her reply. “Sir. Please. ”

  “Good. Ever been clamped, honey?” He set his mouth on her other nipple, still looking her way.

  And she watched his mouth move over her, working her, his cheeks concave, his teeth gently nipping until she moaned.

  Then he nipped harder. “I asked you a question. ”

  Since she wasn’t exactly sure what he meant, she figured she had the answer. “No. ” At his raised brow, she added a hasty, “Sir. ”

  A ghost of a grin broke across that gorgeous male mouth. “I’m looking forward to this. Remember, if this is too painful, just say ‘Ben. ’ Otherwise, no complaining. No coming. ”

  No coming, still? Kata whimpered.

  Hunter ignored her and lifted his hand to her breasts, hovering above her nipple. He pinched something between his fingers then lowered it.